Just To Have You
by arw2
Summary: 2010-11 is looking to be the best season of Sidney Crosby's life, until things start spiraling out of control. Will Bree be there to help him, as she always has in the past, or is she creating more problems then she is worth?
1. Chapter 1

_*Here is my latest story and I hope you all enjoy! As always, i always appreciate your feedback!_

**Chapter One**

"Hey Bree, where's my grey suit?" I call out, as I poke my head into her bedroom. Damn, I wish she had her shirt on. That is not going to help me make it through the day. I watch, with my mouth hanging open like a dog, as she pulls her sweater over her head then over her bra and flat perfect stomach. I need to stop starring…

"Which grey suit? You have several…" She brushes off my request and continues to get ready. _'Please don't reach for the hair brush, please don't reach for the hair brush_', I plead in my head. Fuck, the hair brush… I can't think when she brushes her hair. It's like hypnosis, watching her move in fluid motions through her smooth silky hair. All I can think about is how much I want to run my hands through it, preferably while she is naked and lying satisfied in my bed. I really need to think about something else…

"The grey suit I wore to that lunch thing the other day…"

"I sent it to the cleaners," She explained. "You spilt something on it, remember?"

"What? Nooo… I really wanted to wear it to the Classic presser today!"

"Well, you can't. You could wear a _different_ grey suit. You have _several._ That might be a crazy thought, I know," Bree laughs and rolls her eyes at me as she pulls her hair back into her standard ponytail. I wish she would leave it down, she looks really amazing with her hair down. "Or how about a _brown_ suit? That new one looks good on you…"

"Can I wear black shoes with a brown suit? I already pulled out black shoes…" I don't think black shoes would look good.

"Oh my god! You are worse then a sixteen year old girl!" Bree turns toward me. Good cleavage today. Damnit.

"It's a fair question," I shrug, forcing myself to look away from her chest and up to her eyes. I re-evaluate that plan and look back down. Cleavage is probably safer, as her deep blue eyes are gorgeous and I always think that when we make eye contact she can see through the act that I put on whenever I am around her.

"Go get dressed Sid!" She practically yelled at me as she pushed me out to the hall and pointed towards my room.

"But now I don't know what to wear…" I realize after I said it, just how whiny I sound.

"You could wear a garbage bag for all I care! Go put something on and be ready to go in ten minutes," She snapped. I know I can't push it anymore. After knowing her for a couple years now, I know when she is annoyed. It took me a while to figure it out but I learnt. A pissed off Bree can make your life a living hell. Like my schedule isn't hellish enough, she'll add the most ridiculous meetings and media functions until she feels that I have suffered enough… or am too tired to piss her off anymore.

I head back down to my room and stare blankly into my closet. I reach for my new brown suit since Bree said she liked the brown suit. Not that I think wearing the suit she likes is going to make her fall in love with me, but it can't hurt. Ugh… I'll have to find new shoes.

-.-

He really does look better in that grey suit. But stomping his foot like a three year old wasn't going to make it appear any quicker. Sometimes I am surprised how similar him and his fourteen year old sister act. They certainly come by it naturally! Troy is no picnic! In all the years I worked for the Crosby's back home, I always tried to imagine what he would have been like at 23, if he had made even a fraction of money that Sid makes now. Sid has had humility beat into him by his mother but I wonder if she would have done the same thing to Troy or just been like all the stupid star struck sluts that seem to surround the Penguin players now and let Troy act like a spoiled brat, just happy to be with a professional hockey player.

I watch from the back row as Sid handles the media's question with ease. A couple of the familiar faces from the locker room smile and do the quintessential head bob but for the most part I go un noticed, which I suppose is the way it is suppose to be. One reporter begs me for a time slot on Sid's schedule for an 'exclusive'. I make no promises but if Sid says another word about his grey suit, I will add him. Exercise my little bit of power.

Some of the player's girlfriends, mostly just those of the call-ups, give me the stare down. I just laugh because their boys don't seem to understand that those girls are only with them to get closer to the rich hockey players. Each and every one of them is secretly hoping that Sid will fall head over heels in love with them, so they can leave their current beau and move up in the world. If life with an NHLer is hard, life with an AHLer is flat out hell – with no perks, no fame and a very limited chance that they will ever get it.

Sid moves off the stage and shakes hands and signs autographs before being ushered to the next room by his security.

"What's next boss?" He asks when I finally make it to the player's lounge where I know he will be waiting.

I quickly open my calendar which is attached to my hip. "You have a call-in interview waiting and that's it for today. Nathalie wanted you to come for dinner and I told her that I would see how your schedule looked. What should I tell her?"

"Yeah we can go… I am guessing you didn't want to cook?" He asks with a smile. I nod. I know it's my job and all, and I really do love cooking but Sid's diet is so boring that I don't get to cook anything good anymore – or at least good by my standards. Sid is a creature of habit so tonight, being a non-game day Tuesday, would have been baked fish, steamed veggies and rice. I could have pan fried mine in butter – _real butter_ – but then I'd have to listen to him complain that I shouldn't be eating that in front of him. I'm not a pro athlete, I should be able to have butter if I want. At least I know that dinner tonight will be good. Nathalie seems to be able to get away with feeding Sid anything and he never complains. If I made roast beef on chicken night, I would never hear the end of it.

"I'll call and let her know," I tell him as I pull out my phone and hit speed dial four. I never thought that this would be my life – having Mario Lemieux's wife on speed dial. It's a bit surreal at times.

"You are needed in the call-in room," I instruct him as I listen to the phone ring on the other end.

Sid lifts himself from the couch and heads towards the small room with nothing in it but a phone and a chair – potentially the only quiet place in this building. I take the moment, as he is walking away, to get my daily dose of his butt. I take my opportunities when I can get them. He has a really nice ass but I have to be careful and not get caught looking at it. I would never live it down but it's irresistible. I quickly avert my eyes as he turns back to me.

"Oh, Bree… any chance my grey suit will be ready for tomorrow?" He asks innocently and I can't help but reach down and pick up a roll of stick tape and whip it at him. "What? Is that a 'no'?" He laughs which tells me that he was just doing it to piss me off. I make a mental note to call that reporter and schedule his interview for a really busy day.

-.-

I couldn't help it. I know I am going to get punished but it was too easy. There she is sitting on the edge of the couch, her sexy-as-fuck legs crossed and her high black heels dangling from her toes, forcing me to imagine how great it would be if those shoes were all she was wearing… well those and maybe a pair of thigh high pantyhose, the kind with the little bow at the top… yeah that would be good…

I have to take a couple of deep breaths before I enter the call-in room. I know a lot of the guys use this room to beat one off or take advantage of a precious minute alone with their girlfriends after a big game. It's actually kinda gross…especially considering there is literally nothing in this room except a chair, a phone and an awkward Kleenex box. I have never had to succumb to that but being locked in this little space with a boner right now may not be conducive to maintaining that record.

'_Concentrate Sid,_' I tell myself as I step into the small room. If anything, knowing what other guys do in here, will make the boner disappear quickly.

The interview was no problem, nothing even a little bit off the spectrum. Sometimes I wish the reporters would ask a question that comes from left field just so I have to think and not just go into drone mode. The media complains that I have no personality but they don't exactly inspire passion.

I step out of the little room and head back to the players lounge. Bree is sitting in the same spot I left her but now she is surrounded by some of my horny teammates. I swear they have a beacon for when I have left her unprotected. Max is the worst but at least I don't have to worry because she seems to know that he is a dirty dog. Tanger only dates models but says Bree could qualify if he wanted to 'slum it'. He loves to flirt and uses his disgusting _'look at me, I'm a shy little French guy'_ act to his advantage. Again, I don't think Bree buys it… so I think I am safe. I also may have mentioned the model thing which seemed to piss her off, so that should help. TK is ugly as fuck, so he stands no chance and Jordan is a grumpy bitch most of the time, especially now with his injury, so no threat there. The guy I need to worry about is the guy that I don't know… the new guy… Martin. He seems nice enough but that's the problem. It would be easy if I could just walk up to him and tell him not to talk to her but then I would have to answer questions about why and I certainly don't want to answer those… So instead I watch like a pussy as he laughs and puts his hand on her knee.

"So, are you ready to go?" I ask as I walk towards the group. "Dinner time?"

Bree excuses herself from the group and gathers her bag up while the guys continued their banter. Several of them glance over when she bends to pick up a sheet of paper she dropped. I clear my throat to remind them that I am there. They all bring their eyes back to centre, some happier than others.

"Oh come on!" Max complains, pointing towards her ass.

"No, Max!" I hiss quietly. "Show some respect… she works for me…"

"Yeah that's right… she works for _you_. You get to see that fine ass whenever you want. We, on the other hand, have limited opportunities and must capitalize whenever we can," He explains with a wink and a nudge to TK who nods in agreement.

"Ready?" Bree comes to my side and places her hand on my shoulder.

"You guys are sick," I can't help but add as I follow her out of the room. They certainly don't need to know that I agree.

-.-

"Holy fuck, I am so full," Bree declares as she slumps into the couch cushions in the family room off the kitchen. I can't help but laugh at her rare moment of non-censorship which clearly indicates just how much wine she has had. She is normally the epitome of self control, so I wonder if something is going on. I plop down on the couch beside her.

"Dinner was amazing… why can't you cook like that?" I ask her, totally joking. I know Bree can cook and I know she hates cooking for me.

"Seriously? Did you just say that?" She grabs a pillow from beside her and whips me in the head. Now I am laughing like a six year old girl while she climbs to her knees and hits me repeatedly with the pillow. I raise my hands to protect my face and try and grab her wrists to stop the onslaught of pillow blows. I finally get my hands around her wrists and wiggle the pillow free but now I am in a really awkward position with her basically in my lap and her at my whim. It would be too easy to pull her down to me and kiss her or throw her down to the couch and climb on top of her and kiss her like that. Instead I just stare up at her and watch her chew her bottom lip. I wonder if she is thinking the same thing I am. I wonder if she wants me to kiss her. I wish I could read her mind.

"I should head to bed…" She breaks the tension and climbs to her feet. I give myself a mental kick over not acting on the opportunity. I need to grow a pair already!

"See you in the morning…" I offer, watching her walk away. She mutters goodnight and now I am left sitting on the couch alone – again. If I was Max, I would get up and follow her, not take no for an answer and take her to _my_ bed and not let her leave until she was satisfied and her legs were mush. Who am I kidding? If I was Max, I would have told her how I felt years ago. Instead I sit here and reach for the remote control, flipping to sports highlights. How pathetic am I?


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"Wow… you look nice! Where are you going?" I ask as I walk through the front entrance on my way to the kitchen. Bree is leaning against the wall, wearing a short black dress that clings to her curves and looks unbelievably hot. But I can't exactly say, _'Hi, you look _unbelievably_ hot and I wanna right now, up against that wall...'_ even though that is exactly what I am thinking. I have never seen her wear that dress before. I thought I had seen all her clothes.

"Thanks… just out for dinner," Bree mutters as she fights to slide her foot into her shoe, getting the straps into the right places.

"Oh yeah? With who?" I ask, kind of shocked that she was leaving without telling me.

"Paul. He asked if there were any good places in town and I told him there were a couple that I knew about and so we are going to go to one…"

"On a date?" I practically choked on my own tongue.

"No! I mean, I guess it might be kinda like that but we are just friends, having dinner…" Bree just shrugs like its no big deal.

"Like you and I go for dinner?" I ask, trying to act innocent, not like I am prying.

"Well hopefully I won't have to go in through the kitchen or use some dirty service elevator… or watch the waitress flirt shamelessly," Bree laughs. "And it might be kinda nice to talk about something other then your schedule and hockey… I guess he is still a hockey player, so there isn't much hope in _not_ talking about hockey but…"

"I meant –" I stutter, still in shock. She wouldn't wear that dress to have dinner with me. I wouldn't complain if she did...

"I know what you mean! Relax, it's just dinner. I am not distracting your team mates or anything. I'll be home early and you are all packed for the road trip. You have a skate tomorrow morning at Southpointe and then I will drive you to the airport," Bree rambled on about my schedule but I didn't hear any of it. I can't believe she is having dinner with Paul. I knew it! I should have told him that she was off limits from the start.

"I'll see you in the morning! Get some sleep," Bree instructs me, as she searches for the keys in her purse. I reach for the door and pull it open for her, as she kisses my cheek on her way past me. That's just mean. And I hate when she wears heels that make her basically the same height as me.

I watch her walk down the sidewalk towards her car and debate what to do now. The petty twelve year old in me wants to call Max and Tanger and head to the restaurant that I think they will be at, just to spy on her. I know they wouldn't say no but what would that prove? That I am pathetic? I don't think I need any more proof, as I stand here watching her drive away to be with another guy.

-.-

"Did you really have to text me a hundred times during dinner?" I look over as Bree walks into the family room, pulling out her earrings. I thought she might be pissed at me when she came home but she sounds more exhausted then anything. I hope it's not from a night of making out in the back of Paul's rental car… or worse.

"Well if you were home, I would have just been able to ask you…" I explain. The texting started off innocently enough, with a question about a contract but then, I admit, got a little out of control. But from the sounds of it, I may have been on to something.

"Is that what this is about? Am I not allowed to leave the house _ever_?" Bree put her hands on her hips, which just emphasized her curves and wasn't really helping the point.

"I didn't say that…" Was all I could muster.

"Oh my God Sid! I need to get out every now and then!" Bree stomped her foot on the ground.

"We go out…" I shrug.

"Without you… I need to get out_ without_ you. I need to have a life of my own, or at least a couple hours where I can pretend that I do!"

I know she is trying to explain her point but I don't get it. She's never said anything to me. "You have a life…"

"Do I Sid?" She asked. "I was out for dinner with a really nice guy and I was answering _your_ texts all night."

"You didn't have to answer, you chose to answer." I try to defend myself.

"Because I know that you would whine when I got home if I didn't! And don't tell me you wouldn't because I know you…" Okay, she might be right on that one.

"I'm sorry you didn't have a good time…" I offer, trying to sound genuine but I'm not doing so well.

"I actually did have a good time, _despite you_. We are going to have dinner again when you guys get back from your road trip. He seems like a nice guy," Bree shrugged. "Maybe you could leave me alone long enough for me to find out next time… seriously, he probably thinks you are the neediest guy on the planet! I believe his exact words were _prima donna_..."

I watch as Bree laughs to herself and then left the room, as if I am some big fucking joke to her. How did it come to this? I thought when I asked her to come to Pittsburgh that everything would just fall into place but now it seems like it's just spiraling out of control, as she slips further and further away from me.

-.-

"Morning," I say as Sid wanders into the kitchen. I am not sure what time they got in from the road trip last night but I know it was late and I am surprised to see him up so early.

"Morning," he mutters, then grunts and points to the coffee pot. I reach into the cupboard for a mug and pour him a cup. I turn around and he is sitting on the bar stool, his arms by his side and his forehead flat on the counter.

"Sid, if you are tired, go back to bed!" I place the coffee down on the counter.

"No… I don't want to throw off my schedule… must … work out…" He says mid yawn and picks up his coffee.

"Well then promise me you'll go to bed early tonight! I hate dealing with you when you are overtired and grumpy…" I remind him. Sometimes I feel like his mom. Sometimes when I have to act like his mom, I feel I don't get paid enough.

"Fine…" He grumbles. He better be in a better mood when he finished that cup of coffee, cause he has a busy day and heaven forbid he missed a workout even though he has the next four days without games. I can't help but roll my eyes, especially when I catch him looking at his reflection in the mirror. He isn't vain but I think he thinks he's fat… which I think most of the world could agree is fairly far from the truth. I mean, sure his ass is huge but you could seriously bounce a penny off of it. I would love to try…

"What are we doing today?" He asked, as I shake my head and force myself to stop imagining his ass.

"_We_?" I ask with a raised eyebrow. "_You_ sir, are going to the gym, then you have meetings with Ray, then Pat, then a rep from Reebok and then you can come home and have a short nap before your interviews at 2:30 and 4:00."

"I say _we_ because I know you are coming too…" Sid rolled his eyes. "Where are the interviews?"

"One will be here and one is at the Channel 6 studio. And actually I won't be coming to that, so I hope you can somehow manage without me…"

"Why won't you be coming?" Sid asked, sounding a little more pissy then I expected, even for 7:00am…

"I am going to a movie…" I explain.

"In the middle of the afternoon?"

"Yup. Paul has a hard time staying awake at movies at night, much like someone else I know, so he asked if I would mind going earlier and grabbing dinner after that…" I explain. "I said it shouldn't be a problem… is it a problem?"

"Yeah it's a problem! I have to go to this stupid interview myself?" He practically shrieked.

"Yes, Sid… you have to go downtown all by your lonesome but you're a big boy now and I think you can do it," I reach across the counter and pinch his cheeks in the most condescending way possible. He has done hundreds of these interviews on his own and certainly doesn't need me.

"No Bree… you are missing the point! This is your job! Your job is to come with me to these stupid interviews!" He climbed up off of his chair but leaned on the counter.

"No Sid, my job is to be organized to tell _you_ to go to these stupid interviews, not to go to them _with_ you… I am doing my job! Don't you dare tell me I am not doing my job! I work my ass off!" He can't honestly believe that I am not doing my job. Does he have any idea how much work he can be?

"Well you are going to work a little harder because you _ARE_ coming with me to the studio this afternoon!"

"Sid!" I gasped. He has never been this demanding.

"Deal with it!" He slammed his hand down on the counter.

"Fine, I'll cancel the movie and just meet Paul for dinner…" I concede. Sid just shook his head and stormed off. Fuck, he acts like a spoiled brat sometimes.

-.-

If she thought I was going to stand by and just let her go out on another date with… with… with that big eared dork, then she had another thing coming!

Big eared dork? Is that really all I've got?

Whatever! It doesn't matter. She should know what her job is and she has always come with me before. She can't just decide to stop coming with me to these stupid interviews because it suddenly isn't convenient for her. I asked her to come here to help me organize things, to be my assistant and I didn't think that I had to lay out every single bloody detail of her job.

Okay, okay! That's not the only reason I invited her here. I just couldn't come up with any better plan to keep her in my life at the time. I never wanted to treat her like just another employee but she is leaving me no other option. I'll just have to keep her busier then normal and come up with a better plan. But I can't watch her go out with someone else. I just can't.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

"Hi, I'm Pamela. Henry couldn't make it so he asked me to come and fill in for him, I hope that's alright," A young reporter stepped through the front door. It was Sid's day of reckoning over what I am calling 'the grey suit fiasco of 2010'. I was really expecting the middle aged sports reporter that harassed me at the Winter Classic Press Conference. The one that smelt like BO and tuna sandwiches, had huge pit stains, and spit every time he started a new sentence. This blonde with too much makeup and perfectly perky boobs was certainly not going to help teach a lesson.

"I'm sure it's fine… Sid's just in the other room. I'll show you in…" I smile my best receptionist smile and turn towards the living room

"I'm sorry… I didn't catch your name…" Pamela asks, as she follows me down the hall.

"Sorry, I'm Bree…" I say over my shoulder.

"You're Sidney's … girlfriend?" Pamela asked cautiously.

"No… Sid doesn't have a girlfriend… I'm his personal assistant," I quickly correct her. The last thing I need is that being spread by some half-wit journalist wannabe. And I hate when people who don't know him call him Sidney… I dunno why… specifically tall blondes with too much makeup and perfectly perky boobs. Did I mention those?

"Oh, so will you be sitting in on the interview with Sidney and I?"

"No probably not…" I explain, thinking that she will be much relieved at her chance to spend fifteen minutes alone with him. I stop in front of the doors to Sid's office.

"Oh, that's too bad, you probably know him better then anyone… might add an interesting angle to the story," Pamela shifts awkwardly and I notice that she is acting visibly nervous.

"Do you do a lot of interviews with athletes?" I ask, curious about how Pamela got picked to come here.

"Nope… He's my first," She spits out before she realizes how bad it sounds. He cheeks instantly get red. "That's not what I meant… I… I… oh fuck, I am going to screw this up, aren't I?"

"Relax," I offer, placing my hand on her arm, suddenly feeling bad for the girl. I don't know why. I doubt that Sid will be thinking about anything she says with these perky tits in his face. Nevertheless I feel the need to reassure her. "He's just a regular guy who happens to be good at hockey."

"And happens to be attractive and make millions of dollars?"

"Some guys are lucky… I am sure you will be fine," I can't help but laugh.

"You make him sound so normal…"

"He is normal," I assure her. "Would you like me to come in to the interview for a bit? I can help be an icebreaker if you'd like?" Why did I just offer that? I have a million things to do…

"That would be amazing! I would really appreciate it," Pamela sounds very excited. I certainly don't normally do this but I feel bad for her. I remember what it felt like being overwhelmed by hockey players, thinking that they were so different. Now I know better. And besides, this should put a damper in any shameless flirting on Sid's part.

I turn and knock on his office door, then give him a minute before entering. My biggest fear since the day I moved in here has always been catching him in an awkward personal moment, if you know what I mean.

"Hey," I greet him as I head into the room. He looks up from a pile of papers that I put on his desk this morning. Another payback. I could have read them and dealt with them myself, like I usually do, but I thought this would be more fun. Maybe his hands will be too tired from flipping through papers to text me on my date tonight.

To be fair he did apologize for being an ass to me this morning on our drive home from the rink. Then he gave me a list of a thousand things that needed to get done. I am surprised he even had time to make the list - it was so long! And some of the things on it were flat out ridiculous. Some of the things we had agreed could wait for awhile but for some reason, Sid decided to bump up the timeline. I have a sneaking suspicion that this is some lame ass attempt to keep me busy so I don't have time to have dinner with Paul but I'm not going to give in to that crap, that's for damn sure. If he has a problem with it, he has to tell me to my face and he better have a good reason behind it.

"This is Pamela. She is your 2:30 interview," I introduce the young interviewer.

Sid stands and walks out from behind the desk, extending his hand for hers. "Hi there, I'm Sid."

"No kidding really?" I laugh. "Who was she going to think you were?"

Sid just rolls his eyes at me and makes a motion towards some chairs and a couch off to the side. "Would you like to have a seat?"

"Thanks," Pamela moves over towards the chairs, taking a seat. "I hope you don't mind but I asked Bree to stay for the interview as well. I think she might add an interesting angle to the story… the person who makes your schedule and is around you all the time must really know the_ real_ Sidney Crosby."

"Yeah, she probably does…" Sid looks at me and I smile a devilish smile. He knows he could be in trouble now, not that I would ever do anything like that. "She'll probably get a great book deal some day!"

"New York Times best seller list here I come," I joke, knowing full well that there is a clause in my contract strictly prohibiting that.

"So Bree, how long have you worked for Sid?" Pamela asked, setting a recorder down on the coffee table. I sit down on the couch and Sid sits beside me.

"I just started working for Sid this September but before that I worked for his parents in Cole Harbour for a couple years," I explain.

"What did you do for them?" She asked.

"I was kind of a nanny for Sid's sister, Taylor. When his parents came up here, I stayed with her or was her tutor when she came down here for extended periods of time, like playoffs of whatever," I explain.

"She was more then a nanny. She was like my moms saviour," Sid smiled at me. I just roll my eyes. The last thing I want this interview to turn into is a question period about me. "She has become a part of the family. Even my grandma calls and asks to talk to her."

"That's so cute," Pamela smiles at as. I'm not sure what she means by '_cute_'. "So, what's it like working for the face of the NHL? Hard work?"

"Umm yeah… it can be exhausting," I nod at the understatement of the year. Sid laughs again, full well knowing that my schedule is often more hectic then his, and unlike him, I don't get afternoon naps.

"So you are just on call all the time? Do you live here then? Do you get nights off? Vacation?" Pamela continues with her third degree. I know I have to be polite but I really want to tell her to lay of the questions.

"It's kind of a 24/7 job… I get nights off here and there and I'll get a vacation in the off season…" I explain, keeping my answers short.

"Unless of course we win the Cup…" Sid reminds me.

"Oh my God, I don't even know if I can handle that again. I have never been so busy in my life…" I laugh, reminding myself of the craziness that was the summer of 2009. Sid just smiles and laughs warmly, probably remembering a number of times when his mom and I were running around like chickens with our heads cut off, while he remained calm and collected. He can remember what he wants. He will never make fun of me for my erratic behaviour that day because I was there when he, the big tough hockey player, cried like a baby and I'm not afraid to bring that up.

"It seems like you two are really close," Pamela raises her eyebrow. I don't like the raised eyebrow but Sid doesn't seem to notice, still clearly in happy reminiscing land in his head.

"We spend almost every waking minute that I'm not on the ice together…" Sid adds, seemingly oblivious to what Pamela is getting at. I just watch Pamela's reaction as Sid explains several examples of my 'dedication' and 'perfect fit to his life'. Sid's phone rings on his desk and he gets up to check it, leaving me alone, face to face with Pamela. My palms are sweating, as I can only imagine the questions brewing in her head.

"So, when do you get to stop living his life and start living your own?" I doubt very much this is the angle the story was supposed to be going.

"We are actually currently debating that…" I offer honestly in a moment of weakness, as I watch him reach over his desk. I regret that sentence instantly and quickly change my demeanour to a bit more icy. "I should let you know that you only have a couple more minutes, so if you have _hockey_ related questions, you should probably get to those. Sid is very busy you know."

Pamela does her best to stare me down, sensing my behaviour swing but I certainly know how to handle pushy media types. To think that I felt bad for this girl who was clearly playing me. She wasn't nervous at all. She just wanted to make a name for herself by getting a different perspective for her story. She probably thinks that she would be hailed as a hero when she returned to the news room but I have more clout with the media then that. No newsroom would risk their beat reporter being denied access to Sidney Crosby by publishing something that Sid doesn't want published. As soon as this little twit leaves, I will be placing a call to make sure her little story never sees ink.

Sid returns to the couch and I decide that now is a really good time to excuse myself, letting the focus return back to sports. As I leave the room, I slowly pull the door shut, pausing to hear the next question. "Are you excited to play in another Winter Classic?"

'_Good girl,'_ I quietly congratulate Pamela to myself, for having the sense to return the interview to the appropriate topic. I return to what I was doing before the blonde with perfectly perky boobs arrived and raised questions that I don't want to think about right now.

-.-

I hear the door to Sid's office crack open, right on schedule. I'll give him props for that. He is very good at keeping a schedule. I usually let an interview run over four minutes before cutting them off, as I allow five minutes between scheduled activities on busy days. I pop my head into the hallway from the kitchen and watch as he shows Pamela to the door, shaking her hand like the professional he is.

"So how long do we have before we leave for the studios?" Sid asks, coming into the kitchen and opening the fridge door. It's clear that he doesn't really want anything. He is just trying to act casual as he tests me to see if I actually cancelled my plans with Paul. Of course I did, but I want to make him sweat a little.

"The interview is at four, so…" I offer, not giving up anything.

Sid closes the door and looks at me. "So… _we_ should leave at…what time?"

I fold my arms across my chest and hold my ground firmly. "How long does it take _you_ to drive to Studio 6?"

"About twenty five minutes. Can you be ready to go at 3:30?" He asks firmly. He is playing this perfectly, the cheeky bastard.

I just stare at him. He stares right back. We are both unbelievably stubborn, so I don't see this ending well. He will never give in, so I know I have to be the bigger person and all, but I hate it. '_Just a couple more minutes…_' I tell myself.

"Of course I can," I offer, turning back to my schedule book. That was fun.

"Good," Sid breaths, as if he was holding his breath the whole time. "I'll meet you at the car then?"

I just nod.

"Perhaps on the way home, we can get something to eat? I kinda have a hankering for some sushi…" Sid offers back to his relaxed tone.

"Sorry Sid, I have dinner plans. You knew that," I shrug, closing up my book. "You wanted me to come to the interview and I am but I am still going for dinner with Paul after. He said we can go to a movie later and he will just have a coffee with dinner."

I walk past Sid and head down the hallway. I know he won't be happy with that but I can't always spend all my time worrying more about him then myself. I need a night off.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

I can't believe my life is putting away a hockey player's laundry. Seriously. I open Sid's huge closet doors and step inside. It's like entering a vortex of organization. He is so anal retentive that even his hangers are perfectly spaced. I slide his drawer open and remove his socks from the laundry basket on my hip and into their rightful space among the other overpriced socks that Sid prefers. I buy my socks at Walmart. Sid's are Prada. Prada socks? Really? He seriously has too much money. His mom reminds me all the time that his first suit came from Zellers, and I always keep that in the back of my mind.

I place the basket down on the marble bench in his closet and reach for the dry cleaning bag. I unzip the bag and pull out the grey suit that has caused so much grief in the last couple of days. It feels so good beneath my fingers, the material is soft and I admit that I get chills from imagining running my hands over Sid's chest while he is wearing it. I reach up and place it gently in its spot on the rod between the other grey suits. I run my hands along all the sleeves of all the expensive suits in his collection, imagining him wrapping his arms around me in them. I need to stop doing this to myself. Sidney Crosby is out of league and I need to accept that. He thinks of me as a sister. Every time he says something nice about me, I start thinking that he has some secret crush on me and I drive myself crazy over analyzing every detail of our interactions. '_Get a life Bree_,' I instruct myself, turning back to the dry cleaning bag and pulling out three ties that had been cleaned. Sid can't eat anything without spilling. I roll them up, just the way he likes them and slide them into his tie drawers, sorted by colour of course.

As my last act of the day, I empty the bowl sitting on the marble bench. As anal retentive as Sid is, he can also be lazy when he gets in late from a road trip and tends to just dump his pockets on the bench. I put this bowl here, so at least he can aim for something and I don't have to go around picking up random piles of stuff all over the place. He never wears an expensive watch or cufflinks to the rink in the morning and then he never thinks to put on the stuff from the bowl, instead picking out all new stuff, so needless to say, it doesn't take long before the bowl is overflowing.

I grab the loose change and throw it in a piggy bank, then sort out the cufflinks and watches. Surprise, surprise, each watch has its place, as I slide open his watch chest. I made the mistake of calling it a jewellery box once and it led to a very heated debate about men not having jewellery boxes. So '_watch chest'_ it is.

I lay each watch out and place the cufflinks back into their little boxes. There is a new little box that I haven't seen and I reach to take a sneak peak. I don't remember him saying that he bought anything new. Normally he is so proud when he makes a decision he has to tell everybody! I pop open the little box and am somewhat floored. Very much not cufflinks. Why would Sid have what can only be described as an engagement ring in his jewellery – sorry, '_watch chest_'? I slip the little platinum band out of its slit in the velvet fabric and can barely catch my breath. I have never seen such a huge diamond in my life. Some girl is going to be very happy with this one! But who? I make all Sid's plans! I would definitely know if he was seeing someone! Especially to the point of buying this kind of hardware!

In a moment of weakness and pure envy, I slip the thin band down over my ring finger knuckle. Oh man, it fits perfectly… my hand looks amazing with diamonds, if I do say so myself.

"_Time to come back to reality_," I remind myself as I slip the ring off my finger with a tinge of sadness. I place the band back in its place and put the box right back where I found it. I am the girl that puts away his socks, not wears his rocks. But I can't help but wonder who that ring is meant for. And I know just the person who will know!

-.-

"I love that I just choose between having cheesecake and coffee with you or going to the gym!" Veronique laughed as she slid into the booth across from me. This girl does not need to go to the gym! She is like three and a half pounds on a 'fat day'. If she wasn't so damn sweet, I would hate her.

"Good choice!" I applaud her decision. "This place really does have the best cheesecake, so at least you aren't blowing your caloric intake on sub-standard dessert choices!" We both laugh.

I hardly had time for coffee with Vero in my schedule but I knew I wouldn't be able to concentrate until I got to the bottom of the ring mystery. She knows more about the guys in the dressing room then anyone, primarily because Fleury is a huge gossip and shares every detail with his long time girlfriend and also because she is a great listener and it's hard to not open up when and spill your guts when she is around.

"So? What is the juicy gossip you have for me?" She asks, rubbing her hands together eagerly.

"Well actually, I was hoping you had some gossip for me…" I shrug.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, well… see I found something in Sid's closet…"

"He's into kinky shit isn't he? I knew it! Nobody can be that perfect!" She seems very excited over the idea of Sid having S&M equipment locked in some secret compartment which couldn't be further from the truth. I know because I looked when I first moved in.

"No… nothing like that but believe me when I say he is FAR from perfect!" I laugh as her shoulders slump in disappointment. "BUT… I did find an _engagement ring_…"

"WHAT?" Veronique shrieks and I have to calm her down, as I look around the room to see if anyone is staring. "If that asshole proposes before Marc does, I am going to cut his balls off!"

A part of me doubts she is kidding as she shovels a huge piece of cheesecake between her perfectly glossed lips. She has been waiting for a long time for the team commitment-phobic net minder to pop the question.

"Anyways…" I take a small bite of my mocha cheesecake. "I was wondering if you knew if Sid was seeing someone…"

Vero looks at me curiously. "As if I would know and you wouldn't…" She laughs. "You live with him and do everything for him!"

"I know but I've only been here a while…" I shrug. "Was he seeing someone last season? To have a ring like that, it must have been serious…"

"I didn't hear anything…" Vero contemplated. "I mean, I think everyone on the team thought he had someone back home. You would know _that_ wouldn't you?"

"He definitely doesn't," I shake my head. His mom was always complaining that Sid wasn't going to find anyone because he wouldn't even look – choosing to instead stay home with his family and close friends all summer.

"Aww… that's kinda sad," Vero pouts. "You don't think that he just has the ring, waiting for the '_one_', do you? That's so romantic…"

"I very much doubt it. Sid's too practical for being romantic. He only thinks about hockey. There is no room in his head for some grand romantic visions," I try and explain my limited insight into the Crosby psyche. It's a lovely idea but there must be more to that ring. "Do you think the guys would know anything about it?"

"I dunno… there is one way to find out…" Vero offers with an evil smile.

"They won't just tell us!" I laugh, as I imagine the petite frame of Veronique marching right up in front of the guys and grilling them about Sid's love life.

"Yes but if we get them drunk…"

"Oh yes, silly me… how could I forget about the persuasive abilities of alcohol? Who do we target?" Now we're talking! Man, I love this woman!

We both sit quietly and think of the easiest member of the team to get to spill his guts. "Max." We both declare in unison then dissolve to uncontrollable giggles.

"Well, I will set it up," Vero offers taking a mischievous sip of her cappuccino. This is why I called her. I knew I could count on her support.

-.-

"Hey," I offer when I walk in the door. Bree is slipping on a pair of runners. At least I know she isn't going on another hot date with those nasty things on. You'd think with what my mom is making me pay her, she could buy a new pair of sneakers. "Where you off to?"

"Um… just off to Flower's to watch a girly movie with Vero," Bree offers.

"Oh good," I nod.

"Glad to know you approve of _this_ social interaction," She snaps. I don't entirely blame her. I pulled some pretty shitty things last night and I am quite frankly surprised that she is still even talking to me. Yesterday after the interview, I had arranged for the President of the Studio to invite Bree and I to dinner. I knew the reservation would be at the exclusive restaurant that Bree really loved. The President had very specific eating habits – certain restaurants on certain nights – made my routine sound positively normal. Mario jokes about it all the time. I knew Bree wouldn't want to say no. She loved their lobster bisque and wouldn't be able to pass up the opportunity. Was it an asshole move on my part? Sure, but she cancelled her plans with Paul which was all I really cared about. He isn't right for her. I am.

"Have a good night," I offer sweetly as I open the door for her. She just rolls her eyes and heads out to her car. She will see that I did it for the right reasons. It will be a funny story to tell our grandchildren one day. If I somehow make it that far without pissing her off to the point that she leaves and doesn't come back.

I know that my mom is right. Bree needs to see the life I live so that she can make the decision to be with me on her own. I don't want her to feel pressured to stick it out if she is miserable just because the press is all over her. I want her to love me before the press tears her apart. This was really the best plan but I hate when she looks at me like her boss or worse – an annoying brother. I want so much more from her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

"Hey!" Vero cracked open the front door of their surprisingly modest home and invited me in. Modest house with a Lamborghini in the drive way... yeah, they blend in. "Max and Marc are already onto their second drink and getting very sloppy at Mario Kart!"

"Wow! That didn't take any time at all! Lightweights!" I can't help but laugh. This might be the easiest plan in the world - getting two hockey players drunk. I follow Vero into the living room where, sure enough, the boys are violently steering around the closed course. "Can I play?" I ask casually, as I flip my jacket onto the side of the couch.

Max looks up at me and smiles warmly. It's not really a secret that he has a little thing for me. It's also not really by accident that I am wearing one of my lowest cut shirts. I figure if the alcohol doesn't squeeze the answer out of him, I can further persuade it out with my cleavage.

"Sure," Max offers as he slides over on the couch. Marc cheers for himself, as Max totally forgot to finish the course when I sat down, giving him the easy win. Max hands me another remote and offers to 'teach' me about Mario Kart. I let him, even though I have been playing Mario Kart for years and could easily kick his ass, figuring that it'll boost his ego – not that he exactly needs it – and that maybe that will help get the answers we seek.

"You boys need another drink?" Vero comes in with two beers already open and placed them down beside them, with a little wink to me. She can be pure evil when she wants to be! They both easily fall for her plan and salute each other for being masters of the universe before turning back to their little game which they so kindly have let me join. Of course they make me be the helpless princess – which pisses me off quite frankly. There is nothing helpless about me.

I loose the first round on purpose and Max pats me on the knee. "Maybe you will get better eventually…" I just smile sweetly and watch him guzzle back more of his beer.

-.-

After several Mario Kart matches, in which I progressively got better and better, the boys decided that they were too drunk to play anymore and decided to watch a movie instead. Vero and I left the boys to argue over the movie while we made popcorn in the kitchen and returned to the living room with two heaping bowls full – and of course more drinks.

"Here you go," I offer as I pass a cold one to Marc, who accepts it with a skeptical look in his eye as I settle down on the couch beside Max. He lifts his arm and encourages me to slide under, leaning against his chest. He kinda gives me the heeby geebies but I guess it's all part of the plan. I am sure _he_ doesn't even know how many girls he's slept with. Vero had made a quick reference to Sid earlier, to test the waters and we got nothing out of them. We know we have to raise our game up a notch if we are going to be successful and I guess pretending to like Max is just a part of it.

A shiver runs down my spine – and not the good kind – as I feel Max bury his drunk head in my hair and take a deep breath. His arm is getting a little too comfortable drooping further and further down my shoulder as Marc fumbles with the remote. I shoot Vero a look of distress and she takes it upon herself to help out.

"Oh Bree, maybe you can answer this… I heard some rumours from the wives that Sid is seeing someone…" She sounds so natural, even though we had rehearsed the line like a hundred times.

I knew it! They know something! Max sits up straight and pulls his hand back up to the couch cushions and the boys exchange looks.

"Yeah and apparently he is _totally_ in love with her…" Vero continued, also watching the faces of our victims. "You must know her…"

"Nope, sorry…" I shrug but try and make it look like I am just covering up for him. All part of the plan. Max lets out a grunt that sounds like a repressed laugh.

"Oh come on! Tell me!" Vero begs, maybe a little too dramatically. Then she turns to the boys. "You guys must already know about her, right?"

"Oh no you don't! You guys are just trying to get us drunk so we spill our guts!" Marc points his finger at us. "It's SOOOO not going to work, right Max?"

Max is too busy staring at my boobs to hear Marc's protest and suddenly we have identified the weakest link. I feel like laughing like an evil super villain.

"Max?" Marc throws popcorn at Max, hitting him right square in the forehead. He makes a gesture like he's still trying to reach the popcorn midair with his mouth, even though it has fallen in his lap. He is beyond drunk. I turn myself to Max and squeeze my boobs together, leaning forward just a bit.

"Maxie… tell us…" I purr in my best attempt at being seductive.

"How could he be in love with someone else?" Max slurs out while he attempts to poke me in the nose. "He would have to get over _you_ and that's never going to happen… "

"Oh fuck…" Marc leans back, throwing his hands up into his hair.

"You know, it's not very nice of you… treating him like that…" Max continues. "He's going to go crazy soon… the guy needs to get some…"

"Oh FUCK! MAX SHUT UP! Tabernack!" Marc swears, pushing Vero away from him.

"What do you mean? _What_ is he talking about Flower?" I demand, panic taking over my body. Marc just stares at me, like he just told me my grandpa died. What is with the pity look?

"But Bree, found a ring…" Vero added, looking at her boyfriend in confusion. She is clearly on about the same level of understanding as I am right now.

"Sid wanted to…" Max belched, then proceeded to stroke my arm, still staring at my boobs. Apparently he thinks he finished his sentence but this is not a time to leave a girl hanging!

"He wanted to what, Max?" I demand, resisting all urges to shake the crap out of him.

Max just leans forward and sloppily pets my face. "That ring is for you silly…"

-.-

"OH MY GOD!" Vero shrieks as she pulls me in for a bear hug.

Yup, that is pretty much what I am thinking right now. But while she is excited about it, I have never been more terrifying in my life. I don't know what to do. I _always_ know what to do. I don't understand what has happened.

"Sid and Bree, sittin' in a tree…" I tune her out entirely as she dances around her kitchen, clearly not understanding the implications of what Max just spewed out in the living room.

"Why aren't you excited?" Vero stops and shakes me by the shoulders. "Sidney Crosby is in LOVE with you! Do you know how many girls would kill to be in your shoes right now? Do you know what he _makes_? What am I saying? Of course you do! It's perfect! It's like he has been training you to be a dutiful little hockey wife! It's so cute!"

"Cute?_ Training me_?" I repeat sections of what she just said. I can barely breathe. Now I need a drink.

"How long do you think he's been in looooove with you?"

"Oh my god, I don't even know…" Of all the questions running through my head, that wasn't one of them. It certainly is now.

-.-

I open the front door and slowly step inside. My goal is to get up to my room without running into Sid. I don't know what to say to him right now…

I flip off my runners and head up the stairs, very aware of every single creak in the stairs. I swear to myself as I remember how loud the top stair is. I normally hear Sid try and creep up the stairs whenever he gets in late from a road trip and wished I would have added it to the repair list before now. I wonder if there is someway I can avoid the top stair… maybe step over it? Crawl? I debate turning around and sleeping in the basement…

"Hey," I jump as Sid greats me, as he too begins wandering up the stairs. "Forget how to climb stairs?"

I practically fall backwards, when I hear his voice because I wasn't expecting him to be coming up from behind me. I thought he would be in bed by now… it's way past his bedtime.

"Um… no, just… you know…" I fidget with the rail that I am desperately clinging to.

"You drunk?" Sid asked with a chuckle. I imagine from his perspective that my behaviour is somewhat odd… I am standing staring at the stairs, I refuse to make eye contact and now I am glued to my spot at the top of the stairs not knowing what to do. He doesn't know that I know. I quickly wonder if I could act drunk but then I would have to explain how I got home…

"No… I'm not drunk… I just… I dunno…" I stutter.

"Bree what's wrong?" He asked with concern, stepping up right to me. I really don't need him close to me right now. I really don't need to smell his cologne.

"Nothing… nothing is wrong…I've had a long day and I just really need to get to bed," I explain. "So, I'm going to just go…"

I turn on my heels and head up towards my room, not worrying about the creakiness of the top stair. I hear Sid's phone ring as I get to my door and think nothing of it until I hear him answer it.

"_Hey froggy, how ya doin'? Kinda late to be calling, don't you think?" _

Oh shit. Froggy is one of Marc's several nicknames. I thought that Vero had hidden the boy's phones, when I left.

I step back into the hall and look towards Sid who is standing at the top of the stair case. "Sid! Please put the phone down!" I yell towards him.

"You did what?" Sid asked into the receiver, the colour draining from his face.

"Hang up the phone!" I lunge myself at him, wrestling him to the ground to get the phone away, which is no easy task considering the size of him but I think the confession was already made, given the look on Sid's face - pure and utter shock. But now I am awkwardly propped up on top of him, with his hands pinned over his head. Now I am regretting the choice of low cut shirt, as my boobs are hanging in his face.

"Bree…" Sid began. "I am so sorry…"

"No! Shut up!" I instruct him firmly, letting go of his wrists and sliding off of his chest.

"You have to understand that this is not how I wanted you to find out…" Sid sat up and reached for my wrist.

"Find out what? I don't know what you are talking about…" I push myself away from him along the floor until I hit the wall, pulling my knees to my chest. I watch, as he climbs to his knees and slides across the hardwood floors towards me. I am up against the wall and can't push myself further but I really wish I could. I would like to push myself to China right now. I squeeze my eyes shut, willing against will that he will just go away and pretend none of this happened. It's just too much to handle right now. Instead I feel him take my hand in his and pull it up towards him.

"Bree… look at me," Sid whispers. I shake my head furiously. I can't look at him. If I look at him, everything becomes more complicated. Everything changes.

"Please," he adds and I hear him sob. I let my eyes crack open but continue to stare into my lap. He places his hand under my chin and tilts my head back, forcing me to look up at him. This isn't how things were supposed to go. This isn't why I came here. I can already practically hear the horrible things that the wives and girlfriends are going to say about me. If they aren't already… I highly doubt that Vero kept something this juicy to herself, regardless of what time it is. Oh my God, this can't be happening! I can't blink the tears back any longer, as I feel them spill over and trickle down my cheek. Sid's thumb moves up my cheek and brushes them away and for the first time I let myself look up at him. The little gold flecks in his eyes are reflecting the light from the hallway's chandelier and it makes me wonder how long I can just stare into them without anything else changing.

"How long?" I manage to squeak out.

"Since I met you…"


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

**- Spring/Summer 2007 - **

"MOM!" Taylor yells as she walks in the backdoor, dragging me by the arm. Mrs. Crosby comes around the corner, a dish towel in her arm. "Meet Breanna… she's going to be my teams new coach. She just moved here and I told her that she could come for dinner."

"Hello Breanna," Mrs. Crosby extends her arm to me.

"Hello, Mrs. Crosby. It's nice to meet you," I extend back. "And you can call me Bree."

"Okay, well, you can call me Trina. Please come in," She waives her arm towards the living room. "You'll have to excuse the mess… we haven't quite figured out a system to deal with fan mail or new awards or all the media calling, so it just kinda gets dumped everywhere…"

I laugh to myself, as I walk into the living room. She wasn't kidding. There are piles of paperwork everywhere. You can't even actually sit on the couch.

"Wow, who would have thought this would be a side effect?" I ask with a smile.

Taylor walks in and rolls her eyes. "I say just chuck it out. Sid wouldn't notice one way or another but Dad wants to go through each and every one of them… I think he just likes hearing how great his son is. I think he pretends that the compliments are for him."

"Boys!" I offer to lighten the mood and Taylor giggles. It's clear that _someone_ doesn't understand her brother's success.

-.-

I blow my whistle and the girls crowd around. They have been working so hard and I am so proud of them. Tomorrow is our last game of the season and although we didn't do very well… shit actually… I can see the growth in them. They just need a little more practice but my role here is done.

"Okay girls, I will see you all back here tomorrow at 11 am. We have a 1 o'clock game and I expect to see your best," I blow my whistle for their dismissal.

"Coach Bree…" I turn around to see Taylor standing behind me. "I don't think that I can make it tomorrow… My mom and dad are in Pittsburgh and… and my Grandma has church and…"

"Don't worry Tator, I'll pick you up. Be ready at 10 okay?" I offer. Poor kid. She really is getting the shit end of the stick. Her parents don't want her to miss school, so they are leaving her with her grandma while they go to support their famous son but from what I can tell, Grandma isn't quiet up for it. I am trying to help because I can't stand the look in her eyes when she gets upset. She is such a sweet kid.

"Really?" Taylor asks excitedly and I nod. She skates off at full speed – albeit a goalie's full speed - to the dressing room, to share the good news with her teammates. I think the weight of her goalie equipment is twice the weight of her.

-.-

"I can't believe we WON!" Taylor practically screams in my ear in the passenger seat of the car. It's late, after the game and after our pizza party but the teenager's excitement hasn't worn off. "I've never had a shut out! I can't wait to tell my dad!"

"He'll be so proud of you!" I offer, at a much lower decibel. I pull my car up into the driveway at Taylor's grandma's house and put it in park. I have to help her carry her gear into the house because she can't lift it all.

Taylor wheels the huge bag out of the car and I grab the second bag and follow her up the path. She blows through the door and drops the bag, running into the living room to tell her grandma. I follow behind her as I think her grandma would think it I was rude if I didn't at least say hello.

"Grandma! Grandma! Guess what!" Taylor jumps onto the couch.

"Shhh… calm down. That is not how you sit on a couch," Her grandma instructs her.

"I got a shut out, grandma! That means NO GOALS!" Taylor explains excitedly, jumping off the couch.

"Well that's lovely, darling… if only your brother had the same success tonight…" Grandma Crosby shook her head. "It looks like your parents will be home sooner then expected…"

"What?" Taylor asked, the energy suddenly drained out of her.

"They lost their game tonight… very sad…" Her grandma shook her head in displeasure.

"Does that mean Sid will be coming home then?" Taylor asked eagerly.

"I suppose it does. I spoke with your dad and he said that there was something wrong with Sid's foot, so he can't go and play in that other tournament that he went to last year, so…"

"Yey!" Taylor celebrated. It was clear that she missed having her brother around. From what I have heard, they seem very close. I smile over at Taylor.

"Oh Bree, how rude of me! Please come in and have a seat. Would you like a cuppa tea, darling?" Grandma Crosby puts down her knitting and labours to her feet.

"No, no… I should be getting home. Taylor played wonderfully today though. She is really getting good," I smile.

"Maybe Sid will help me practice this summer? If I can stop him, I can stop ANYONE!" She rubs her hands together like an evil sorcerer.

"Well then, I guess you'll have an advantage for your coach next year!" I laugh.

"What do you mean my coach next year? You are staying aren't you?" Taylor asked.

"Umm… I don't know. I think its contingent on my actual job at the community center, as I was just filling in on a term but they haven't offered me the position. I think the previous coach will be back from his medical leave, so…"

"That fat bastard could barely skate! I don't want to play for him!" Taylor stomped her foot and crossed her arms in front of her.

"Taylor, that's enough!" Her grandma interjected. "Bree's future is not for you to decide. Now off to bed!"

I say goodnight and find an excuse to not get stuck drinking tea. When I told my friends I was moving to the East Coast, they all laughed and warned me that I would be drinking a lot of tea but no one could prepare me for the amount that it gets shoved down your throat. I am definitely not a tea person, preferring a hot dark cup of coffee but I have had to learn to choke it down. Oh well, maybe not for too much longer.

-.-

I check my reflection in the mirror one last time. I don't really know what the dress code is for this BBQ but it's in the Crosby's backyard, so I am guessing I am dressed appropriately with blue jean shorts and a t-shirt. I grab a sweater in case it gets cold. It's warm out now, but you can never tell what it will be in an hour here.

I walk to the Crosby's house. It's not far and it's a nice walk. I feel awkward going to this family function but Taylor begged me to go. She said it would be all about her brother and she wanted someone there who she could talk to. I couldn't say no. A part of me feels bad for her. What can I say? I am a total softy.

"Bree! I am so glad you could make it!" Trina wraps her arms around me, as I step into the backyard. Taylor had warned me that her mom often '_over indulged'_ at family functions, after stressing all day that things were arranged right. "Would you like a drink?" She offers very loudly.

"Um… that would be great… but I can get it myself, no worries…" I better get it myself, or someone will pour me a cup of tea. Wait, that's not how they say it. A _cuppatea_. That's better. I'll get this East coast thing down pat yet.

"The drinks are just inside, on the table," She points to the screen doors. "TROY! GET BREE A DRINK!" She screams towards the house and then wanders off. Trina is freakin hilarious. One side of her is all proper and quaint, peacefully drinking her _cuppatea_ with little sips and then the other side is this crude, hockey mom, drinkin beer and flippin' everyone the bird. Taylor said she toned it down while Sid was away at Shattuck but it got really embarrassing when they would drive up to see a Rimouski game. I wonder what she would be like at an NHL playoff game… reserved because she knows there are cameras on her or her normally animated self, screaming at the refs and cheering like a maniac when her son got a goal. I could always hear her in the stands when Taylor made a great save and I imagine that even in a setting with 18,000 fans, you'd be able to hear her on the ice.

I head towards the house to get myself a drink. There is a selection of beer and tea and juice boxes. I wonder how odd of a look I would get if I grabbed a juice box. Maybe I could squeeze it into a tea cup and stand out less…

"It's an east coast thing… Tea or beer… those are your options," I hear from behind me.

"I like coffee and wine…" I shrug and turn to face the voice. Damn. That's all I can think. Hot freakin' damn. And I thought he would be taller…

"Ahh… I see. I am surprised you lasted so long then," He laughs. "You must be Bree? I could make you a cup of coffee, if you'd like…"

"I am indeed…" I nod. No need to wonder who he is. "No, I'm good but thanks. It's been my experience that suffering through a cup of tea is safer then east coast coffee…"

He laughs again, his crocked smile is cuter in person then it is on TV.

"BREE!" Taylor flies down the stairs and bounds towards me, flinging her arms around me. "So you met my smelly brother?"

"I did," I nod and look back at him. He has opted for a water bottle. Smart move. I look around a bit, not seeing another one in site.

"I hear Tator Tot here is getting pretty good in net…" He asks, taking a long swig from his bottle. The muscles in his jaw flex and I watch the tendons in his neck tense as he stretches it out. I want to touch.

Taylor rolls her eyes and grabs a juice box. "I'm awesome!"

I can't help but laugh as she bounds outside. The last game really boosted her confidence.

"Is she actually?" Sid turns back to me.

"Um, yeah… she's a natural. Very competitive. Needs to work on her technical aspect a bit more, but that will come with practice," I offer an honest evaluation of Taylor's abilities.

"Will you practice with her?" Sid asks, reaching across his mom's kitchen counter for a handful of grapes.

"Um… well, I think she was hoping you would…" I shrug.

"Yeah well, I have to wait for my foot to heal before I do anything," He pointed to the support brace on his foot. "I am looking forward to getting out there with her."

"There are several summer camps she could go to…" I explain.

"No, I know… and she will but I know that she wants to be on the ice now and I can arrange the ice time, if you are available," Sid explained. "I can pay for your time…"

"I think if you gave your sister the option, she would play every waking minute," I laugh.

"I'm the same," He nods.

'_Really? Nobody noticed…_' I think sarcastically to myself as I recall the dozens of TV interviews and newspaper articles on just that subject. Nobody would accuse Sidney Crosby of not having a passion for the sport. I laugh out loud.

"What are you laughing at?" He asks me with a smile.

"Oh nothing…" I feel my cheeks turning red.

"So I should arrange some ice time then?" He persists.

"I suppose I could work it into my very busy schedule…" I agree. Being unemployed is _very_ time consuming…

-.-

Nobody warned me she was a knock-out. Not that I'm complaining. A little eye candy might be helpful this summer, especially without being able to skate for awhile. I watch as she laughs at something my dad says, probably some lame ass joke. It's a warm infectious laughter and I can't help but smile. Taylor seems to hang off her every word and my parents, who are usually suspicious of everyone, have really taken to her.

"Hey man!"

"Oh hey," I extend my hand to Jason and instead he pulls me in for a _'man hug_'.

"How's the foot? I saw you take that puck to the foot, man! Looked like it stung but then you were back out the next shift…" Jay laughs. "Do the Stanley cup finals really come with their own built in pain killer?"

I just laugh. "Pretty much."

Jason takes a long drink of his beer. Good to see he found the drinks right away. My mom didn't know how much beer to pick up and I told her that there was never any fear of it going to waste with a lot of these guys around. I watch as Jason takes a scan of the people in the backyard and narrows in on Bree.

"Wow… who's the hottie?"

"Umm… who?" I do my best at trying to act dumb. Clearly there is only one hottie in the backyard. He's certainly not talking about my Great Aunt Mildred.

"Are you kidding?" Jason laughs. "What kind of amazing pussy are you getting now that you can't see what I am talking about?"

Like I have time to get pussy. Like I can trust any of the girls in Pittsburgh not to take a picture of me and sell it… or worse. "Oh, do you mean Bree? She's my sister's coach."

"She's hot _and_ she plays hockey? Wow… I think I just came."

"Anyways…" I roll my eyes. This is not the conversation that I want to have right now. Not that I wasn't thinking the exact same thing, cause I was, but I need to change to subject.

"What do you mean _anyways_? Don't act like you don't see her!"

"I just…I doubt very much that she is available. I mean, look a her! She is totally out of your league anyway," I tease.

"Out of my league? You think you stand a better chance?" Jason laughs. Oh no. This conversation is taking a terrible turn but my competitive side is taking over my brain.

"That's not even a contest!" I really didn't want to get in a pissing match here but Jason is one of my oldest friends and rivals and I don't know how to back down. I can hear Mario's voice in my head saying that skating away from the fight is sometimes more infuriating to the opponent then dropping the gloves.

"I'm going to go check on my Grandma." That was really hard for me. It's a sign of maturity, I tell myself, as I walk across the backyard and take a seat beside my dad's mom. I watch as Jason practically beelines over to where Dad and Bree are standing and tries to insert himself in the conversation. I grit my teeth and debate going over there to cock block. To my delight, Taylor bounds across the yard at almost the same time and drags Bree away. Maybe Colby's right… maybe I do have a horseshoe up my ass. Why this is bothering me so much is an entirely different issue.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

****- Spring/Summer 2007 - **  
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"Drop your knee down quickly, as I come up the left side…" I instruct Taylor during our private lesson. I am no specialized goalie coach that's for sure. You would think with all the resources at the Crosby's disposal that they could call in a real professional coach for Taylor, God knows she is good enough, despite her late start into the sport.

I skate up to the top of the circle and take a quick shot at her, which she stops easily.

"Bree! Shoot harder! I can handle it, I promise!" Taylor yells from beneath her helmet which comes as more of a muffle then anything. What she doesn't seem to understand, is that what I just sent at her was a hard shot. I played defense in college hockey, I was not exactly known for my hard shot.

"Here let me take a whack at it," Sid offered skating up behind me. Taylor cheered as she saw her brother. She wanted a real challenge and I was just not giving it to her.

"Hey, I thought you weren't allowed to skate until your foot was better…" I smile as he comes to a stop.

"Yeah well… I think it's better," He shrugs.

"Did the doctor tell you it's better?" I ask. I can't believe I am giving him a hard time. Clearly, Sidney Crosby knows what is best for Sidney Crosby.

"Well… not in so many words but…" Or not.

"Oh my god! Then what are you doing here!" I hit him in the shin with my stick.

"It's not like I am skating hard… I just wanna take a couple shots," He tried to explain, while he lined up pucks to shoot. "I played in game 5 with a broken foot… I am pretty sure I can handle this…"

"You should be resting it and healing!"

"But I wanna play – " He protested with a pout. Very manly. Now I see the family resemblance, having seen that pout several times on his little sister.

"Hey guys! Remember me? THE GOALIE over here!" Taylor yelled, from across the rink.

"Sorry Tator!" Sid flashed me a smile and pushed me out of the way with the butt end of his stick. "You ready?" he called to her. She checked her gear and gave him the head bob to signal she was ready. Sid wound up and fired five shots at her in a row. She stopped four of the five. Not too freakin' bad. I couldn't help but cheer for her and stick my tongue out at Sid.

-.-

I know that a lot of women would give away their first born child to be in my place right now and for the most part I don't blame them. But quite frankly, I am bloody exhausted. I have been playing hockey with Sidney_ freakin_ Crosby every damn day. Even when Taylor went away to camp, Sid was at my door knocking first thing in the morning, wondering if I wanted to go play. I felt like we were eight and he wanted to play street hockey at the crack of dawn and I was the only kid on the street whose parents wouldn't yell at him for knocking so early. As soon as he found out I played defense, he had me running drills with him. Hundreds of them. This morning, I wanted to scream 'GO AWAY' but I got up and went to the rink with him. After all, I was already awake. I wasn't going to get back to sleep and I really didn't want to find out what happens when you say no to Sidney Crosby, especially not in this town. And at least I usually get a good lunch out of the deal! I gotta save every buck I can because I still don't know if I will have a job starting up again in a couple of weeks and while I am waiting in limbo I need to be prepared for a potential relocation. AGAIN. I have a couple options but none are that great, alot of assistant to the assistant of the assistant type gigs. Maybe I didn't choose the most reliable profession…

"Seriously Sid, don't you have anyone else you can play with?" I ask as we pull up into the empty arena parking lot. Sid arranges for private ice time, so no one is there to bug him for interviews or autographs. At least when we arrive. When we leave it's a totally different story and heaven forbid he said 'no' to an autograph for any of the little kids waiting for him outside. It's actually pretty cute.

"No… not really… everyone else seems to have a job…"

"Thanks for the reminder… Shouldn't you be doing some kinda training?"

He just smiles innocently. "I do. Every morning, before I come bug you…"

"What? Dude, what time do you wake up?"

"5:30," Sid shrugs, as if that's normal.

"No… that's just not right…" I shake my head in disbelief.

"My trainer has a day job, so he works with me and then heads to the University…" He explains but I still haven't been able to close my mouth. I understood that he had an odd schedule but 5:30 am? Everyday? On vacation? "Suffice it to say, I'm a big fan of afternoon naps."

"So do you ever feel the urge to sleep in?" I ask but Sid just shakes his head. "When was the last time you slept in?"

"Define sleep in?"

"I dunno… ten o'clock…" I suggest. Sounds like a normal sleep in time. I could really go with a ten o'clock sleep in right about now.

"Never." He says simply.

"Never?" My lower jaw might as well have hit the ground. He must be lying.

"I slept in till eight once this season, after we flew in from Vancouver. But I think I got home at four so…I don't know if that counts…" He doesn't seem like he is lying. He seems like he is genuinely trying to remember the latest he has ever slept in. "I used to drive my mom nuts because I never slept in. She once found me lying asleep outside their bedroom door, in full gear, waiting for them to wake up so I could go skating… I think it was like July or something and I didn't understand why I couldn't skate in summer. I always hated summer for that…"

I love listening to stories about Sid's craziness. Somehow, it makes him seem normal. He's just a guy who wants to play hockey. A part of me thinks he would play for free and that getting paid ridiculous amounts is just a bonus. The passion runs in the family, as i see the same thing in his sister. Which is probably a good thing for her because you aren't going to get paid too much in women's hockey - if at all.

"I'll see you on the ice?" Sid offers turning into the boy's dressing room and I drag my hockey giant bag into the girl's, which is significantly smaller, in desperate need of paint but smells ten times better. It's a good trade off.

We skate for our designated fifty minutes. No breaks. The first couple of times out here with him I thought I was going to die. My lungs were burning and my heart was screaming at me for making it work so hard. But now… let's just say, I have never been in such great shape in my life. My thighs are like fucking rocks and I would dare anyone to find any flub on my stomach. And the best part? I can eat whatever I want because I know Sid is going to be knocking on my damn door in the morning, making me come out here and burn it all off. When the summer is over, I am going to get sooo fat… there is just no way that I can sustain this level of physical activity.

"So, ready for lunch?" Sid asks as I walk up to him in the front lobby and I eagerly nod. He is always ready before me and he always smells really good when I come out. It might be one of the best parts of the day.

"Where to?" I ask, knowing that he is going to name one of three places. The only three places he goes. "Wanna be adventurous and try something new?"

"Actually I was thinking Salty's. Is that cool?" Shocker. One of the three.

"Of course… I was just teasing anyways," I laugh. I think I have now officially had everything on their menu. Sid said it was his favourite place to go when he was growing up but it was only for special occasions. Now he goes probably three times a week. And that's just for lunch. I can't imagine that he has a whole different group of restaurants for dinner, so who knows how many times he actually goes there. All the staff know him. And now, they probably know me too, as that girl that comes with him three times a week. I hope they don't get the wrong idea…

We sit at the same table we always get. We are early, probably one of the first tables of their lunch rush but Sid likes to be gone before all the tourists start piling in. He's only been approached here a couple of times, normally people just seem to leave him alone and he seems to be oblivious to all the pointing and whispering around him.

After lunch, we go for a walk along the harbour, as per usual. He doesn't like to eat and drive. Every time we are out here he points out something different, some odd fact about the city. It's kinda fun. There is a bench out at the end of one of the piers that we always head out to, cause I like to watch the tug boats. There are certainly not any of those where I come from.

Sid spots a tug boat and nudges me to point it out and I squeal in delight. I love them so much. They are freakin cute! Every time I see one I get excited and Sid laughs at me.

"Stop it!" I reach over and poke him in the ribs. That certainly doesn't make him stop. I don't care. He can laugh all he wants. They make me happy.

"You're ridiculous!" He laughs and I turn and smile.

"But I am also fantastic!" And modest, I should add but I just flash him my biggest fake smile.

"Wow… you have really blue eyes…" He breaths, almost like he didn't realize he was saying it out loud. That was not the response to my goofiness I was expecting.

"Yup," I nod but can feel my cheeks starting to burn. This is awkward. Was that a compliment? Or simply an observation? I don't even know…

"Sorry… I just never noticed how blue they were… I… umm… didn't mean to be weird, or anything… which clearly I am failing at, so I'll just stop talking now…"

"It's fine…" I try and brush it off as nothing but the colour of my cheeks is probably contradicting me right now. "We should probably get going… I think the meter is going to expire soon."

"Yeah, you're probably right…" Sid nods and I hope he doesn't think that I am just trying to get out of this awkward moment. I mean, I _totally_ am but the meter thing is also true. I watch him climb to his feet and stretch and just as I think the colour is beginning to fade from my cheeks I catch a glimpse of his abs under his shirt. His Greek god chiseled abs. Fuck. So much for that.

-.-

I walked into the kitchen and watched as my mom comforts my sister, smoothing her hair and whispering '_It'll be okay'_. I knew me going back to Pittsburgh was never a fun time but she knew that it was coming. It's September. We've barely spent any time together anyway, she's been so busy at camp or on the ice with Bree. It'll do wonders for her performance this season.

"Ah come on Taylor, stop crying…" I reach over and mess up her hair. I'm not exactly known for my sensitivity. "You'll be up and down between here and the Burgh lots. And you'll be so busy, you won't even notice I'm gone!"

"This isn't about you, you big jerk!" Taylor screams and runs off.

I am left standing in shock. "What was that?"

"You need to be more sensitive to your sister! She isn't like you!" My mom hits me in the shoulder.

"What did I do?"

"For one, she isn't upset that you are leaving, she is used to that. She is upset because the community centre announced their coaches for this year… and it looks like Donald will be back…" My mom shook her head in dismay. "He hates you. Always has. You always beat his son, in every category. Last year, he wouldn't play your sister at all because of it… and now after all her hard work…"

I didn't realize that my sister was having such a hard time. My mom looks like she is about to cry. "What about Bree? Where is she going?"

"I don't know… I know her job at the community centre was contingent on them also needing her as a coach... I hear she might have been offered a coaching job on the island, so i guess she won't be that far away… she was so good with the girls… Taylor really opened up to her, talked to her," My mom turned her back to me and grabbed a tissue. "With everything going on, she was such a big help…" Even my mom seems more chocked up about Bree leaving then me leaving.

"Is there anything I can do?" I ask, feeling intensely useless. I watched as my mom just shakes her head but I refuse to believe that's true. Maybe I can talk to someone at the community centre. Maybe I can find my sister a different team. Maybe I can find Bree a job here. Lots of maybe's. I am supposed to leave tomorrow, so I better get to work.

"I'll be back in a bit, 'k mom?" I grab my keys from the counter and take off out the back door.

-.-

Now I remember why my parents sent me away to play hockey. You would think for a community centre there wouldn't be so much damn drama. I tried to convince them that the coach was a douche but they said I was being paranoid. I asked around about other teams for my sister and got a list of other community centres with girls programs for her but it means that my parents or grandma would have to drive further to get her to practice and games and there was still no guarantee that she would get her fair share of ice time. I might have burnt a couple bridges… but it was still the best plan. Which has led me to the job for Bree. My whole plan to make my mom and sister stop crying basically rested in her hands right now, as I pull up outside her house.

_*knock*knock* _

I taped on the screen door and watched as Bree came towards the door with a roll of packing tape.

"Hey," She opened the door. "What are you doing here?"

I look past her and see a bunch of boxes stacked along the wall. "So it's true? You're leaving…"

"Yeah well, I got an offer to be an assistant coach at PEI-U, so…" Bree nodded. "So that means its packing time."

"Taylor is pretty devastated," I admit to her.

"I hope she gets some ice time this year…" Bree looked down to her feet. Paranoid my ass. Clearly, even someone who has been here one season is aware of the problems my sister was facing.

"Yeah, I am looking at switching her to a different team…"

"Oh? That might be good for her…"

"Yeah but the problem is getting her to practices and games and such… plus I heard her school was getting mad that she was missing so much time and I don't want her grades to suffer," I begin my rehearsed speech. "My grandma can't keep up with her, while my parents are away and even when they are here, they are so busy with my crap… Anyways, I was wondering if there might be any chance that I could convince you to stick around, maybe hire you to help my family, as a tutor slash coach slash assistant slash everything else type thing…"

"Um… are, are you serious?" Bree stutters. I can't tell if she is happy or offended.

"Ummm yeah…" I smile awkwardly. "I mean, you could pretty much name your price, salary wise… and if you need days off or whatever, that could be arranged… I haven't told my parents yet but I know they will be super thrilled. Maybe you could help organize their living room… all those letters and such… wanna say something? I can't really read your mind…"

"Um, I already gave up my lease on this place… I am suppose to leave tomorrow…"

"You could stay at my place… and take care of my dog! That would be super! My mom was pretty pissed when I got her…" I hadn't quite figured out where Sam was going to go. My mom really didn't want her around, she never really liked dogs but I couldn't resist.

"Yeah, I remember…" Bree nodded with a chuckle, probably remembering the most embarrassing moment of my life, while my mom lectured me about the responsibilities of having a pet like I was a five year old. She went on and on about who was going to clean up the poo. Bree was standing right there the whole time. I thought I was going to die.

"Impulse purchase," I shrug and try to act cute.

"Most people buy a pack of gum… or a chocolate bar," Bree laughs. "But seriously, I can't stay at your place…"

"Sure you can, it would actually save my parents a lot of work and my sister already has a room there… for when she stays with you, if my parents are away."

"Sid, I dunno…"

"You can take time and think about it… well not too much time. I leave in the morning and I should probably tell my parents my plan before I get on a plane and run away… and we'll have to work out the details… so…" I contemplate approximately how much time those activities will take. "I guess you don't actually have that much time… now would probably be good."

Fortunately she is laughing. She could easily be offended right now… or freaked the shit out.

"Well then I guess we should go tell your parents the news," Bree smiled. "But I should warn you, there is a good chance your dad will drive me crazy…"

"Yeah… he does that to people…" I nod understandingly. At least one of my great plans for the day worked out.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

**- December 2007 - **

"Did you get your bags packed?" I pop my head into Taylor's bedroom. She is lying on her bed, pressing random buttons on her iPod, oblivious to me. "TAYLOR!"

"What?" She pulls out her earphones and stares up at me.

"Are you packed? We leave for the airport in an hour…"

"Yeah, I'm packed. Good enough anyway. I can always go shopping with Steph," She just shrugs and turns back to her iPod. Wow, I love teenagers.

"That shouldn't be your whole plan! You'll want to spend time with your brother, not out shopping the whole time…"

"Sid will be so busy he will barely notice that we're there!"

"Oh, don't say that! He is super excited that you are coming down! It will be special having Christmas in Pittsburgh. It won't be as rushed as you complained it was last year. He'll have more time and he won't be rushing to get back on the road…"

"Yeah, except he has the stupid outside game now! He's going to be busy with that!" She whined, rolling onto her stomach and propping herself up on her elbows.

I just roll my eyes. There is no pleasing her when it comes to time with her brother. If we had stayed in Nova Scotia she would have complained that he was rushing back to Pittsburgh. Since we are heading to Pittsburgh, she is complaining that he isn't coming home. I have mostly gotten used to the complaining but this is beyond annoying. At least she gets to see her family at Christmas.

"That reminds me, make sure you pack your warmest jacket, not just the cute one!"

"That jacket makes me look like a marshmallow!"

"Yeah, but you won't care when it's freezing out, so just pack it!" Oh my god, as if I am having this argument. She _had _to have that jacket, two months ago and now she doesn't like it. Teenagers! "The car will be here soon, so finish packing – _actual packing_ – and then bring your bags downstairs."

Taylor grunts her acknowledgement and I turn and head downstairs. I have to finish packing the laptop and Troy left me a voicemail with a list of things that he wants me to pack – probably things he forgot himself. They went down last week, leaving Taylor and I here so she can finish her semester at school and play in her last game of the year, which was yesterday. We are all ready to go, as I look down at my checklist. Drop Sam off at Mrs. Williams, check. Pack gifts, check. Drop gifts off at Grandma Crosby's, check. Make sure Taylor actually packs, check. Everything is done, now all I have to do is calm down and prepare myself to spend the holiday's at Troy's beck and call.

-.-

"Did you bring that contract I left on the counter?" Troy asks me as I step out of the airport terminal. Wow, that's a new record – not even 30 seconds off the plane and he is annoying me.

"Yes I did. And the pile of papers beside your lamp and the envelope that Pat sent you - I've got it all," I nod and bite my tongue, so I don't tell him to learn to pack himself.

"Great! Hey pumpkin!" Troy finishes with grilling me and finally greets his daughter.

"Hey dad," Taylor accepts her dad's kiss on the cheek but doesn't look up from her phone, busily texting away. Troy rolls his eyes and I just smile. She annoys him and he annoys me, it's a great system we've got going here.

"Well, lets get you two out of here then," Troy reaches for my suitcase then turns and heads towards the exit. Taylor just turns and follows him, dragging her bag behind her and I can't help but laugh and follow. I wonder what they were like on their first trip here? I highly doubt that Taylor thought of it as just another day, another pesky flight. I doubt that she would have complained about her seat on the plane, like she did the entire flight here, despite the comfy first class accommodations.

Taylor slides into the backseat of Troy's rental SUV as he loads our luggage into the trunk. I climb into the passenger seat and pull out my phone to turn it on. Two texts come through, both from Troy – one asking me if I remembered the contract on the counter and the other one asking me if I got the text about the contract on the counter. I have to take a deep breath and calm myself while he climbs into the car's driver side.

"So, the Lemieux's have given you a room in the basement of the house. Its usually Taylor's room but she usually sleeps upstairs with Steph anyway, so we figured it would work best that way. Normally, Trin and I stay at a hotel closer to the rink, but given that it's the holiday's we're also staying at the house," Troy explains as we drive through the snowy streets of Pittsburgh.

"Is Sid home?" Taylor asks eagerly from the backseat.

"Yup, couple home games in a row and they have a game tonight. The last game was a tough loss so I hope they get it back tonight. It would be nice for them to have a win heading into the holidays," Troy offered his daughter. "Would you like to come to the game tonight Bree?"

"Um, yeah, that would be exciting," I nod. I haven't been to a professional hockey game in quite some time.

"I'm sure Mario can arrange for an extra ticket, we are all watching from his private suite anyway," Troy continues. Oh la te da… _the owner's suite_. I know how much he likes to show off but it seriously doesn't impress me much. I have seen the_ real_ Troy, standing around first thing in the morning in his tightie white-ies, housecoat hangin' open, gut spillin' out all over the place, drinking orange juice from the carton, scratching his balls. Even if he and the pope were on a first name basis, I wouldn't be impressed.

I watch as Troy pulls up to a gate and enters a code into the box for the security fence. The gate slowly opens and we begin to roll forward. I catch a view of the house from the driveway and my mouth falls open. Now that, on the other hand, impresses me. I knew the house would be big but damn. This is something else.

"Nice place, eh?" Troy smiles.

"No wonder Sid won't move out…" I didn't mean to say that out loud, as I am not sure what Troy thinks about that particular situation. Fortunately he laughs but he easily could have taken offense. He doesn't take to kindly to people making fun of his superhero son.

"No kidding," Taylor adds from the backseat.

"He's just waiting to find the right place…" Troy informs me, matter of factly.

"And if he moves out of here, Nathalie probably won't cook for him anymore…" Taylor adds her two cents and gets told to behave by her father. They continue to argue as I stare out the window and tune them out. The house is large and imposing and I can't help but think that now I am really out of place. When I was packing to come here, I couldn't help but feel self conscious about my clothes. Most of my clothes are workout or training clothes and then the others are just comfy jeans and t-shirts, sweaters and hoodies. I went out and bought some dress pants and a skirt but its definitely not fancy by any stretch of the imagination. Maybe I would have to go shopping with Steph and Taylor too.

Troy snapped at his daughter to cut the bickering, as he put the car in park at the front of the house. He jumped out and Taylor slumped back into her seat and crossed her arms.

"Oh come on kiddo, don't let him bother you. Lets go find your brother," I offer and reach back to rub her knee.

"I want to go home," She pouts without budging.

"Well if you start walking now, you might get to Cole Harbour by Christmas," I look down at my watch and then quickly back up at her. She rolls her eyes at me and I know I deserve it. That was lame. "And I doubt that you will get whatever fantastic Christmas present your brother got you if you abandon him now…"

"Do you know what he got me?" She asks, a frown still on her face.

"Nope. I guess you'll have to stay…" I shrug. She ponders for a minute and then reached over and undoes her seat belt. Troy knocks on my window for us to hurry up and I smile a fake smile out at him and crack open the door.

I follow him up the large brick front stairs and check behind me to make sure Taylor is in fact following. I step inside the large entranceway and try not to look like a deer caught in the headlights. Everything is huge. The staircase, the chandelier, even the god damn flower arrangements. I bet they are real flowers too. I kinda want to reach out and touch them to find out. They look almost too perfect to be real.

"Well hello there, you must be Bree?" A very tall, smiling woman comes towards me with her hand extended. She takes my hand in hers and then folds her other hand over top, pulling me in for a surprise kiss to each cheek. "I'm Nathalie, Sid personal cook" She laughs and Troy joins her with a large smirk. The first thing I notice about the woman, other then how tall and fit she looks, is that she is freakin' gorgeous. She releases my hand from her long elegant fingers and turns to the moody teenager standing behind me, who has yet to smile since we arrived in Pittsburgh.

"Taylor, sweetie, you are getting so big! We haven't seen you in so long!" Nathalie embraces Taylor with a big comforting hug. "Steph is waiting upstairs in her room for you…"

"Can I head up there?" She asks eagerly and I am not sure who she is waiting for a response from.

"Not before you say hi to me," I hear from behind me, as Sid comes into the entranceway dressed to the nines.

"SID!" Taylor flings herself onto her brother and he lifts and swings her. Troy instructs him to put her down and begins to lecture Sid on what would happen if he hurt yourself being silly before a game but Sid just rolls his eyes and tells him to relax. I laugh as Taylor immediately begins grilling him about what he got her for Christmas and he just brushes her off and tells her to take her bags up to her room. Taylor listens to him more often then she listens to both her parents combined. Nathalie and Troy begin talking about Taylor's behaviour and Sid finally seems to notice that I am there.

"Hey!" He greets me with a half hug and kiss to the cheek. "I didn't know you were coming!"

"Umm… oh… yeah, you're dad asked it I could, so… here I am," I shrug.

"I'm sorry… you didn't need to do that! I'm sure you'd rather like to go home for the holidays…" He offers.

"No, not really… a lot of family drama, I'd rather not deal with…" I admit and then silently beg him not to ask me any more questions about it. That was more then I wanted to say.

"Damnit! I sent your Christmas present to Cole Harbour…" He moans to himself.

"It's fine… that doesn't matter at all!" I laugh. He seems genuinely upset. I won't lie, I think it's pretty cute. "I wasn't even expecting a gift, so it will be nice to go home to it…"

"No! You have to have something under the tree! It's Christmas!" Sid insists.

"I'll wrap myself a box of chocolates," I suggest but he just shakes his head with a wide smile.

"Sid? Don't you need to get going?" Troy interjects.

"Yup, yup I do…" Sid turns and agrees with his dad before turning back to me. "Are you coming to the game tonight?"

"I think so… we'll see if I can get a ticket, I guess…"

"Oh we will for sure get you a ticket!" Nathalie assures me with a smile.

"Well then… I guess I'll see you later," He flashes me his perfect teeth through a sideways smile, grabbing his jacket from a side chair and easily sliding it over his shoulders, reaching up to adjust his collar. I reach over and help him fold it down. "And Dad, lay off of Taylor for a bit, eh?"

Troy grunts in acknowledgement, as Sid steps out the front door.

"Bree, let me show you to your room," Nathalie offers to me and I go to grab my bags which are plopped just beside Troy's feet. He gives me a bit of an angry stare down as I follow Nathalie and I'm not really sure what I did to deserve it. It's not the first angry look I have received from him and I somehow doubt it will be the last.

-.-

"Hey man whatcha studying?" Max comes in and shoves his giant head between me and my phone.

"I am just trying to decide on a last minute Christmas present…" I explain, scrolling down the website page I am on.

"WHAT? You were bragging weeks ago that you got all your shopping done!" Max laughs at me.

"I know, I know… but I sent a present home and the recipient is here and I want her to have something to unwrap but I don't just want to buy her the same thing as I sent home…"

"Your sister?"

"No… my sister's… tutor…" Is that what Bree is? I don't know what her job title is. I know what my dad thinks her job title is… _personal slave_… and I definitely need to talk to him about that because that is certainly not what I wanted her to stay for. Even Taylor has complained to me about how my dad is treating her.

"Is she hot? You could wrap a bow around me…" Max suggests with a cocky smile.

"Fuck off man…" Somehow I doubt he is envisioning a bow around his _neck_… "I need a serious gift… do you think a purse or something? She takes her laptop everywhere, maybe a laptop bag?"

"Tomorrow is Christmas eve, man… how exactly are you going to get this gift?"

"Yeah… I don't know. I was thinking that I could somehow sneak into the mall and get in and out, really quickly, tomorrow morning," I chew on my lip wondering if I could somehow hire a stunt double for Christmas Eve shopping.

"Why don't you ask one of the girls? I am sure any one of the wives would love to get theirs hands on your credit card…"

"You think I could ask Vero?" I ask excitedly. I hadn't thought of that… that sounds way less painful…

"Why not man? She is probably looking for any excuse not to hang out with Flower right now… if you think I am whiny with this injury, then you should see him! I'm a bloody saint in comparison!"

"Are they coming to the game tonight?" I ask.

"I dunno… call them. I don't have all the answers… Now back to my previous question - is she hot?"

-.-

"You're sure you don't mind? I really appreciate this!" I ask.

"I'll go right now, be back in a jiffy!" Vero grabs the wad of money I am offering her and turns on her heels.

I know I shouldn't be nervous but I put a lot of thought into the original gift I picked out for Bree and had it custom ordered. Now I feel like every other idiot that forgot to get his shopping done. At least I don't have to go to the mall in the morning. I hope Vero gets it gift wrapped. It might be hard to sneak a bag from Louis Vuitton into the Lemieux's house… even at midnight when I'll probably get home. Those girls can smell a designer bag a mile away. Thank God my sister isn't like that. Oh God, what if Bree isn't like that either? When I bought my mom a Burberry purse my first year in the league, on Nathalie's suggestion, she didn't know how to pronounce it right and then she actually thought it was plastic not water-proofed leather… it was kinda embarrassing…

I don't have time to second guess my gift choice now. I have a game to get ready for and this has already interrupted my schedule tonight. I know everyone is here watching and I really want to get a win. Not that I don't want to win every night, but tonight would mean more then normal.

-.-

The players lounge is packed and chaotic with barely enough space to move around. I thought the owner's box was full but this room is making me feel claustrophobic for the first time in my life. I move over to a wall and brace myself while all the people mill about, with full holiday cheer, especially after the win tonight. All the player's wives and kids are here, as school is done for the holidays and bedtimes are a low priority. I lost Taylor about ten minutes ago and someone passed me a glass of champagne, which I have yet to take a sip of. Instead I have been holding on to it for dear life, as I get bumped and herded around the room. I am thrilled to have my back against something solid now, as I take a small sip of the bubbly beverage and feel it instantly relax my tense muscles. And to think the players haven't even made it up here yet.

I look around the room and try to take it all in. There are so many designer names in this room I have a hard time not gawking. Chanel, Dior, Vuitton, Prada. I am glad I decided not to wear my blue jeans, after seeing the kids getting ready in dresses and their hair in up-dos. Instead I opted for the tight black A-line skirt and red silk, backless top that ties up around my neck which I had packed for Christmas dinner. I am actually going to need to get new clothes tomorrow. Good thing I promised to take the girls to the mall. I got hailed as a saint for my unselfish feat of bravery - supervising teenage girls in a mall on Christmas eve - but it will be working out for me in the end.

I take another sip of my champagne as the doors at the end of the space open up and some of the guys start to filter in. I watch with a smile as the kids fling themselves at their dad's and the wives greet their husbands with loving kisses. It really does feel like a family environment.

The doors continue to swing open as players move into the space. Fortunately, for every player that comes in, a couple leave with their families, so the room is starting to be a bit less congested and I think that I can almost move away from the wall… and maybe get a refill! I step out and begin heading towards the counter with the champagne on it, as the door opens again and Sid with a couple of guys come in. I watch as he glances around the room looking for his family members I'm sure and then spots me, giving me the essential guy greeting – the head nod. I smile and continue on my hunt for more beverage.

-.-

Damn, she looks good. How the fuck am I gonna keep Max away from her now? I can feel my heart rate increase as he bounces into the room, ready to go and find his lay for the night. The boys had made plans in the dressing room to hit the clubs, so as long as I can get him out of here before he sees her…

"Shut the fuck up! Is that her?" Max hisses at me as he approaches my side. That didn't take long.

"Um… yeah that's, that's her…" I nod and silently wish she didn't have such a sexy shirt on. The exposed skin over her smooth shoulders practically glows from this side of the room.

"Okay, man, you have to introduce me!"

"I can probably do that," I shrug and watch her fill her glass on the other side of the room. I hope she hasn't had too much of that, as she is going to need all her facilities in tact to fend off Max.

"So come on!" He prods impatiently.

"What? Like right now? I'd like to see my family first, if you don't mind!" Hopefully that buys me a couple minutes to at least warn her about Max and his '_reputation'_.

"Fine…" Max pouts. "I guess I'll go say 'hi' to my brother too…" Max wanders off towards his brother, who is deep in conversation with some of the other French Canadian contingent and barely acknowledges him.

I don't know if I should just get Bree out of here or bite the bullet and let what happens happen. They are probably going to meet eventually so I should probably just get it over with now, around a lot of people. I head over to where she has found herself a spot to sit and plop myself down beside her.

"Hey! Good game tonight!" She offers with a bright smile.

"Thanks, I'm glad we won… it might be less exciting in here if we had lost," I explain.

"I might be okay with a little less excitement… it was pretty crazy in here earlier…" She laughs.

"Oh, I believe it!" I laugh in total understanding. This room is pretty small, especially when you get everyone packed in here. I look across the room and see Max eyeing me up. He makes a gesture, like he wants to know if he should head over to where we are sitting and I shake my head at him. I doubt he is going to listen.

"So listen…" I begin. "I have a teammate that wants to meet you… um… he can smell new blood like a wolf… and uh, I just wanted to give you a head's up that he can sometimes he hard to take… but he means well…"

"You mean Max?" Bree cuts me off.

"Yeah… how'd you guess?" I sit back with a slightly shocked look on my face.

"Your mom and sister both warned me about him… and then Lauren warned me again during the game… so… I think I'm covered," She laughs. "How bad can this guy be?"

I begin to answer but Max shows up at my side. "Allo," he greets hers with a silky smooth intro and extends his hand out to her. I think he even actually winked at her. I watch with hesitation as she greets him and extends her hand out to him. He takes her small delicate hand in his, lowering his lips to her hand and lingers there for an awkwardly long period of time, holding her eye contact the whole time. I actually have to force myself not to laugh, as the look on Bree's face is hilarious. It's like she doesn't believe this is happening, that someone could actually be so cheesy and is trying not to laugh herself. Thank God! Is all I can think.

-.-

"How's the progress?" Fleury asks, as Max reaches in between us to grab his beer off the table.

"I think I almost have her convinced to go to dinner with me!" Max replies happily, a big dumb grin on his face. He has been working Bree non-stop for over a week and I figure if it's getting on my nerves, she can't be enjoying either.

"Come on Max, can you just lay off her for five seconds?" I look across the room to where Bree is sitting, chatting about something with some of the player's wives. "This is supposed to be a celebration, not an opportunity for you to harass our guests…" After the big game in Buffalo, we all hopped on a flight home and instead of dispersing like a regular road game, we all agreed to meet up for dinner - friends, family and players.

"Did you not hear how close I am? Give me one good reason to back down…" Max asks.

What am I suppose to say to that? _'Because actually, I call dibs…?'_ Yeah that would go over well. She's not exactly the last piece of pizza in the pizza box. In that case, _'I licked it'_ probably wouldn't work either. Instead I go with: "They leave tomorrow and because you are making her uncomfortable…"

"Baloney! She likes the attention! In fact, I am going to go pay her some more of it…" Max drains his beer into his mouth and heads back over to where she is.

I've watched him dangle over her during every game since she got here. I wish he had been well enough to play for no other reason then not having to watch him with her. During TV timeouts, I would look up to Mario's suite and there he was, trying to nuzzle up to her. The closer he got the further away she would lean.

He even showed up on Christmas day to bring her flowers and wish her a 'Merry Christmas'. Luckily, the kids all wanted to show Max their new toys and gifts, so he barely got two minutes with her. She also disappeared to her room shortly after he got there and didn't come back out for the rest of the night, so I didn't even get two minutes with her. I never got to find out if she liked her gift. She thanked me right after she opened it of course but everyone was around and I didn't think that she would say anything bad in that situation and I just wanted to reconfirm… and maybe get a hug out of the deal.

I've barely spent any time with her this week at all. Not that that's why she's here and I know that… but it would be nice. I know I don't have a lot of free time, so I can't complain and my dad is keeping her busy too, so it's no fault of hers either… and then Max seems to take up all the limited free time she does have, showing up at the house to take her out and show her around Pittsburgh. I'd like to be able to show her around Pittsburgh.

I have to keep telling myself that she doesn't like him. Taylor says Bree is constantly complaining about the attention and that makes me smile. I was momentarily worried about Bree last night when she didn't come down for the team's New Year's Eve celebration, claiming that she wasn't feeling well but Taylor assured me that she was fine and just needed the time away from Max's constant barrage of pickup lines.

I watch as Max moves in to where she is standing now, draping his arm across her shoulders and whispering something in her ear. It makes my stomach turn and I make a face in disgust.

"So… you like her, eh?" Flower turns to me with a sympathetic smile.

My first instinct is to deny it but I know the intuitive Frenchie would just drill me until I admitted it. Instead I nod slowly. This might actually be the first time I have admitted it - even to myself. Now what do I do?

"Don't say anything okay?" I plead, panic starting to set in.

"D'accord…" Fleury nods in understanding and I know that he will be good on his word... until I decide what comes next.


	9. Chapter 9

_*The long awaited answer..._

**Chapter Nine**

"How long?" I hear her mutter.

"Since I met you…" It's the truth. It's been so long since I feel like I have been able to tell her the truth, it feels good.

"Since… Oh my god, _what_?" Bree just shakes her head and looks back at the floor. This is killing me. This is not how I wanted this to happen.

"Bree I'm sorry… I just…" I raise her hands up to my lips and gently kiss her knuckles.

"YOU'RE JUST WHAT?" She screams and whips her hands away from me. "Keeping me around for whenever you are_ ready for me_? When you're done having a good time with the pretty girls? Thanks!"

"No… NO! That's not it at all!" I wasn't really expecting her to be this mad.

"I'm such a fucking idiot…"

"No, you're not! This is my fault… I should have…" I reach for her hand again and she whips it away and cuts me off.

"Been less of a FUCKING COWARD?" Again with the screaming.

"Okay, I deserve that…"

"Oh you better believe you do!"

"Bree, you have every right to be mad at me… but you have to know that I did this for you..."

"For me? I suppose I should thank you then?" I can't help but think that sarcasm is better then screaming. We are making progress.

"No! It's just that my mom…"

"Oh my god… YOU'RE MOM KNOWS?" Shit. Back to screaming.

"Umm yeah… I mean she figured it out this past summer… I was upset that you were leaving. I thought I would never see you again and … and… I couldn't handle that… I had to do something and she thought that this was best…"

"_What_ was best?"

"Um… asking you to work for me instead of…"

"Instead of _what_ Sidney?" She asks me with stone cold iciness.

"I didn't know what to do! I was panicking! I bought a ring and I thought… I don't know what I thought! I DIDN'T WANT TO LOOSE YOU!"

"You bought _a ring_? That was your plan?"

"Yeah… I never said it was a good plan…" I admit that it might have been a little impulsive.

"That ring upstairs was really for me?"

"You found it?" Shit. I was never very good at hiding things. My mom had just brought it back here on their last visit because my house insurance and security here is better then in Cole Harbour so she thought it would be safer. She didn't want to bring it back to me too early in case I got another wave of impulsiveness and did something to fuck everything up.

"Yeah, I was cleaning and… that's what Max said…"

"Is that why you went over there tonight? _To grill them_?" Bree just looked up at me with a guilty look on her face. "So I'm the coward? You could have just asked me…"

"I haven't exactly wanted to talk to you a lot lately. You've been a bit of an asshole." Touché.

"Sorry but I haven't exactly been thrilled with the current situation! How would you feel if the woman you were in love with wanted to date your teammate? I watched you date my friends before and it wasn't exactly easy!"

"In love with?" Bree manages to choke out and now I think we are definitely past the screaming. "Why didn't you ever say something?"

"I wanted to… believe me!" Oh my god, she has no idea! "But… you are really important to my sister, probably the only thing normal and dependable in her life and… and if we didn't work out… it would be weird and I just couldn't do that to her…"

"So you were just never going to say anything?" She asks.

"It's been killing me… I was just waiting for the right time…"

"What if there was never a right time? Then what?" She looks genuinely terrified at the thought that she could have spent the rest of her life without knowing the truth. I am at a loss for words. I honestly didn't have a plan to tell her. A part of me believed I would never tell her, I guess. I believed that I was going to live a horrible miserable life without her, watching her be happy from afar. I guess I have gotten so good at it that it just seemed like the way things were going to be.

"I dunno… I guess I don't have that problem now…" I shrug and reach over and place my hand on her cheek… her perfect, smooth, soft cheek.

She smiles up at me and I stare into her eyes. I love her eyes. I always think I can see the future in them and right now, in this moment, for the first freaking time, the future is looking great. I lean forward and softly press my lips to hers.

-.-

I certainly don't want the first time I make love to Bree to be on my hallway floor, and I don't trust my self control having her this close to the ground, so I pry myself away from her delicious lips and force myself to my feet. I extend a hand to her and she accepts it, allowing me to pull her up towards me. My distance from her lips doesn't last long as I dip my head back in towards her and yet again press myself against her, catching her lips with mine with a deep sense of urgency. I can't help it. I have waited so long to touch her, to have her, to be this close, I can't control myself now. The force that I use to press myself against her, sends her stumbling backward, as I pin her back against the wall. I feel her hands move up my body and I am afraid she is going to push me away, so I grab her hands and force them above her head. She is not getting away from me now!

I press myself against her and tangle my tongue with hers. I feel her try and turn her head and want to chase her and not get let her get away but I can tell she need to catch her breath, so I let her lips slip from mine and instead move along her jaw and down her neck. I can't hold her hands up and go any further south, so I take my chance at releasing them and continue kissing down over her clavicle and to the tops of her breasts that are spilling over the low neckline of her sweater. It's a great sweater and I always love when she wears it but now I can't help by wish it was already in a pile on the floor with the rest of her clothes. To my relief, she doesn't push me away but instead I feel her fingers tangle in my hair and guide my head down her chest. That means that she wants this just as much as I do. I wanna fucking leap for joy right now! Instead I pull my head up, place my hands firmly on her sides, lifting her up along the wall so she can wrap her legs around my waist and carry her to my bedroom. Her chest is heaving and the current separation of my lips from hers is driving me mad, as I can feel the blood rushing into them make them swell in anticipation… as well as something else much further south.

I lower Bree gently to the bed and while I place her down, I remove that pesky sweater up over her head. She leans back on her elbows and looks up at me, biting her corner of her lower lip, as I pull my t-shirt off. I let my eyes travel down her body, as she pulls herself backward, across the thick white duvet, to make room for me, sinking into the feathers like she was perched on top of marshmallow cream. Her skin is smooth and creamy and her breasts of heaving over the black satin of her bra. Her stomach is flat and perfect, except for the little scar that remains from her having her appendix out… I remember the story from when she told me while we were lying on a beach in the Caribbean. I reach over and softly run my fingers slowly over the little scar. Her skin is warm and her stomach pulls inward when I touch her. I look up to her eyes, as she is watching me studying her body. I plan on kissing each and every square inch of her from head to toe and I plan on starting now. I let my fingers move further down her stomach and carefully undo the top button of her jeans, slowly pulling the zipper down, before reaching up with my other hand to pull her pants from her body. She is wearing a simple black thong, very practical and I shouldn't have expected much more. I doubt very much that she thought anybody would be seeing her naked today. I am familiar with some of her other under garments, after seeing her pack on several occasions and can't help but wish she would have been wearing something a little lacier. Oh well. There will be plenty of time for that and I don't intend on her wearing her underwear for much longer anyway.

I kneel into the bed and lower my lips back down to hers, this time much softer and with less urgency. Now that I know she wants this too I can take my time and make sure at least something at the start of our relationship goes right.

I kiss down and over her chin, then force her to tilt her head back, kissing down her neck and back down to the mounds of her breasts. I let my hands travel down her stomach and back up her back, reaching around and undoing the tiny clasps of her bra… making several clumsy attempts at it before finally having it spring open. I try and be suave about it, like I knew what I was doing all along, but I look up and see the smirk on Bree's face and silently swear to myself that she is soon going to forget all about that little moment of ineptitude. I pull the bra straps down her shoulders and expose her breasts, lowering my lips to her nipples. I skilfully run my tongue around one nipple, flicking it gently, then move across to the other breast with a trail of kisses and repeat my actions. I spend a bit more time with the second one, pulling it up into my mouth and rolling the little nub around with my tongue. I kiss the soft tissue surrounding her nipples, running my hands over the one without my mouth attached to keep it warm. They fill my hands perfectly and if I could hold them all day, I probably would. Max once said if he could come back as anything in his next life, he would come back as a bra and I can't help but think he might have been on to something.

I remove myself from her breasts and travel down over her stomach, stopping momentarily at her scar once more and running my tongue along it. It's the only imperfection on her body and I want her to know that I love it too. With her hands tangled in my hair she tries to guide me away from it, back up to her stomach but I have no intention of going north right now.

I bring my hands down over her hips and thighs pulling her legs up and grabbing the little bands of her underwear, gently sliding them down. I lose my breath, as I see the small mound between her legs, perfectly groomed and oh, so inviting. I have dreamt about what she tastes like… literally spent hours debating in my head and now… I get to find out. I kiss each of her knees, which are pressing against my chest and slowly spread them apart, kissing a slow path down the inside of her right thigh. I can feel my dick aching against my jeans but it is going to have to wait, as I get closer to my target. I run my hand softly down the underside of her left thigh to her ass and feel it tighten as it tickles her and she squirms momentarily before I bring my hand around to the front and gently run the back of my fingers over her mound. I can feel her warmth on my fingers, as I let one slightly dip into the folds and move upwards towards the hardened mass of tissue of her clit, pulling her silky fluids up with it. I glance up at her face, which is tilted back on the bed, her eyes are squeezed shut and her teeth have a firm hold on her bottom lip, as if she is forcing herself not to scream. I like it. It's a look I hope to see on her a lot.

I decide that I have had enough of letting my hands have all the fun and I slowly move my head down further between her legs. I kiss the general area of her centre before letting my tongue search out its primary target. I am happy to report that she indeed tastes like honeydew melon that has been dipped in some exotic honey made by the worlds best bees. I drag my tongue slowly but firmly up over her clit and feel her dig her nails into my scalp, as a deep sexy moan escapes her. I plan on making her make all sorts of noises, as I swirl my tongue around, letting it dip into her core, pulling out even more of her tasty juices. I can tell I am doing something right, as her back bends and she moans and whines and cries out to no one in particular. I reach up and grab one of her breasts with my hand, rolling her nipple between my thumb and index finger, while doing quick little circles around her clit. This seems to be what sends her over the edge as her thighs slam together around my head, muffling her screams of pleasure, as a wave of thick fluid squirts out over my chin. A part of me wants to yell, as if I have just scored a goal but the other side of me knows that one goal often isn't what ends the game.

I pull back and wipe my chin off with my hand, taking time to look down and admire my handy work. Bree is panting hard and running her hands over her breasts and pulling her thighs together. I run my hands slowly up her legs and she swats my away, riding a wave of shivers I just sent up her spin. I ignore her hands pushing me away and instead reach up and flip her onto her stomach. She squirms a bit but I continue on my mission. I lean forward and kiss the back of her thighs up to where her ass cheeks and thighs meet, then switch to dragging my tongue along this line. She clearly likes it, as she lifts her hips slightly off the bed to grant me better access. I decide that an invitation like that shouldn't be missed out on and pull her ass up higher to my face, taking the opportunity to lick away the sweet sticky substance that had flowed backwards during her first orgasm.

My dick throbs uncomfortably in my pants and I reach down to adjust it, shifting around to climb up onto the bed. I pull her ass back to my lap and press my hard erection against her. She begins to roll and swivel her hips around and I watch her tight ass grinding into my cock in awe. I pull my hand back and bring it down on her ass cheek with a loud crack and she jumps but presses back harder. I take that as encouragement and slap the other cheek as well. I hear a little giggle escape and decide that she is having way to much fun torturing me. I push her back down a bit and undo my jeans, letting my dick spring free. I clumsily push the material away as quick as I can, kicking it all to the floor beside the bed and then pull her ass back up to me. I don't insert myself inside her, instead press the shaft down against the whole length of her crack, nestling it in her silky wetness. She grinds away and I watch as her ass moves in a hypnotic pattern over my cock, up and down and back and forth. I lean over her and grab her breasts, pulling her up and pressing her back against my chest. Now is the moment, I wish I had floor to ceiling mirrors all around my room, because I can only imagine how hot this must look from the front. I let my teeth sink into her neck, as her head flops back against my shoulder and I massage her breast with one hand as the other searches for her clit once more. I make little circles around her hard mass as I feel her once again begin to careen over the edge. I decide I can't take any more of her grinding her tight ass over my cock and don't want to wait another second without being in her. I push her down to the bed, flip her back on to her back and climb over her. I look down at my hard cock, glistening with her juices and watch as I slide it inside of her. The blood instantly drains from my head and if I didn't know better I would say I am about to pass out. She feels so tight around my shaft, I barely want to move, barely need to as it already feels good just being inside her. She lets out a deep moan as I sink the full length of me in her and I have to pause and catch my breath. If I don't focus now, I am going to blow my load on the first thrust and that is the last thing I want. I know at this stage I'm not going to last too long but I am damn well going to try not to embarrass myself. I pull back, letting almost the entire length of me slide out and then hammer home. Bree yelps beneath me but smiles up at me.

"Again," She moans and I oblige. I thrust deep again and again and again. She wraps her legs around my waist, meeting me thrust for thrust. I brace myself on the bed and watch her breasts move with each pounding of my cock. It feels so good, _so right_, I never want it to end.

"OH MY GOD!" She screams and digs her nails into my back. I feel her get even tighter around my cock. I will myself to carry on, to push through, to just last one more minute but I feel my balls curl up into my body and before I know it a wave of cum is shooting out deep into Bree's entrance and I let out a caveman-like growl. I don't think I have ever blown such a huge load as the cum just never seems to end. I feel her relax on the bed and pull myself out of her, collapsing down beside her.

-.-

Oh my god, did that really just happen?

Am I really lying here, beside him? I roll onto my side and face away from him.

And was he really _that good_?

I mean I knew he would be _good_… but… that was fucking amazing! I mean I seriously have never come so hard in my life and especially not that hard twice in a row! I mean he has got to be preeeetty damn proud of himself! Not that I was so bad myself. Seriously? _Who was that?_ I was totally unrestrained and I felt amazing and sexy – he made me feel sexy – and just wild!

I can barely catch my breath.

But now what? Do I roll over and go to sleep? I am freakin exhausted! Should I leave? Should I go back to my own room? What if I stay but he wants me to leave? What if I leave and he wants me to stay? He hasn't said anything… I need him to say something! I am getting too into my own head right now…

I feel a warm hand creep up my side and feel every nerve ending in my body come alive again. His hand slides up my side and I bite down on my lip again. I feel him roll over and pull me in towards him, pressing the full length of his body against mine. His dick is still firm and it feels good pressed against my ass. He kisses my shoulder and it feels good. I roll my head around to face him and he lifts himself up on his elbow to lean over me.

"You have no idea how in love with you I am," He offers, looking down at me. As if that didn't take my breath away, he lowers himself down to my lips and slowly kisses me. I think my heart just imploded.


	10. Chapter 10

_*Sorry for the long wait... was having trouble getting a good feel for this chapter. Had to re-write several times. Luckily I seem to be on a roll now, so a couple chapters should come pretty quickly... thanks for being patient and as always I appreciate your feedback!_**  
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**Chapter Ten**

I feel good. I feel good all over. I don't want to open my eyes and realize it's all just a dream. I want to feel this good forever. Usually by this point of the season, even though it's early, I don't feel good waking up. Training camp is grueling and usually the first couple of games we play include some fierce opponents that take every opportunity to hurt me... in very _personal_ places. Fucking Philly. What happened to honour in hockey? Stop hitting me in the balls people! They should really know by now that hitting me, only makes me want to win more, just to shove it in their fucking faces. Yeah, that's how tough I am… I can take a slash to the balls and still beat your slow ass.

A feel a smile creep across my face and I realize how sad I am. I am lying beside a beautiful woman and I am smiling because of hockey. I have a way better reason to smile. I let my hand creep slowly across the duvet to where she is lying and up over the hump in the sheets.

Hmm… feels squishier then before… OH FUCK!

My eyes flash open and I sit bolt upright in bed, looking down at nothing but a pillow, tucked beneath the sheets… where I _swear_ there was a girl when I last looked. It couldn't have _actually_ been a dream. I wouldn't feel this damn good after a dream. I whip back the blankets and look under the pillow, as if she would be somewhere else beneath it. I never claimed to be smart. Where would she hide? Under the tag on the pillow that says 'do not remove'?

Clearly, panic is taking over, and brain function is significantly reduced. I look around the room frantically before finally seeing her sitting in the upholstered chair beside the wall of windows that look out over my back yard. I let out a huge breath of relief. She is wearing one of my training t-shirts and has her feet pulled up to her chest. She looks super adorable and for a moment I debate disturbing her but my selfishness kicks in and I want her back beside me.

"Hey, you… whatcha doin' over there?" I ask in her direction.

"Nothin'… just thinking,'" Bree states softly. Her voice is like angels singing. I know, I know, cheesy but I never understood what that meant until right now. All the effects of the panic from mere moments ago are gone and there is a calm in me that I wish I could bottle for stressful moments on the ice... like when Chara hits me and i really want to punch him but then i realize its Chara and i probably can't even reach his face. I could use some calm in a bottle then.

"About what?" i ask sweetly. Is it sad that I am already impressed? I can't think about anything but sex first thing in the morning and she is already probably putting together the thousand piece puzzle that is my day.

Bree just shrugs and I continue to watch her, as she leans her head back against the back of the chair. I want to pour chocolate sauce down the long line of her neck and slowly lick it up. It's going to be a long day if all I think about is her. I shake my head and try to focus.

"Well I gotta say… I'm slightly disappointed in you," I begin.

"Oh?" Bree asks, with sincere concern written all over her face as she looks over at me.

"Yeah, you'd think you'd have a little respect for a guy's feelings. Do you have any idea how long I have dreamed about waking up beside you in my bed?" I tease. "You are killing me here."

Bree just smiles at me and I feel my heart melt.

"But I am going to do you a favour. I am going to pretend to go back to sleep for about two minutes… and let you rectify this situation," I offer her, folding back the blanket beside me in a very inviting way. I hope she gets the point.

"I appreciate the do over," Bree winks at me from across the room. I close my eyes and lean back into my mountain of pillows. I don't know where all these pillows came from. God knows I don't need them and I never put them there, they just magically appeared one day. As I silently count the number of pillows that are behind me, I feel Bree's cold feet tuck in beside me. I squeeze my eyes tight and try not to gasp as she drags her icicle toes up my warm calf. She tucks her head in under my arm and drapes her arm across my chest, placing her hand squarely on the middle of my chest. Almost by instinct I raise my hand and place it over hers, twining our fingers together. It feels _so_ right.

I take a moment to take it all in. If you had told me that her and I would ever be here, now, in this place together, I would have called you an idiot, full of shit or worse… but I would have secretly begged that you would be right.

I peel one ear open coyly and look down at her to find her looking up at me with the cutest smile on her face. I can't help but laugh as I pull out my best acting yet and stretch out like I am just waking up.

"Well good morning…" I offer as I kiss the top of her head and pull her in close to me.

"Good morning," She purrs and creeps her long fingers up my chest, as if doing the itsy bitsy spider up my chest. I reach down and slip my hand under her jaw and tilt her mouth up to mine, morning breath and all. Fuck it. She has smelt worse off me. I feel her wrap her legs around mine, as she tries to wiggle herself over top of me. Apparently someone is frisky in the morning. I am far from complaining. It'll be nice to do something with morning wood for once.

I feel her position herself over top of me and she breaks from my lips, sitting up straight on my mid section. She reaches down to pull her shirt up over her head and I find myself holding my breath, as she springs the ladies free. She has really great boobs and I can't believe I get to touch them! I feel like a 13 year old boy looking at my neighbour's playboy for the first time.

"Damn…" I let slip in awe of the sight in front of me and hope she didn't notice. Of course she does, but she just smiles down at me and places her hands on my chest, squeezing her breasts together and lifts her ass up, just high enough so I can slip my hard shaft up into her. I wonder if I will ever be able to handle this feeling. I have to bite my lip and focus on not blowing my load right away, as I feel her warmth and wetness descend over me. Watching her body move over me, isn't helping the issue any either. She uses her thighs and ass to gently raise and lower herself, squeezing my dick with her pussy muscles, as if she isn't tight enough. Knowing that this morning I won't be able to hold on much longer, I am even more thankful that I think I did good to prove my endurance last night. I run my hands up the curves of her waist and run my fingers over the outline of her breasts before scooping them up with my hands and holding on for dear life, as she increases her rhythm over my dick.

"Oh fuck… Bree… let me get a…" Nope, too late. I clumsily lift her off of me, just in time, as I blow a load that would make Old Faithful jealous and let out a caveman like grunt and then work desperately to regain control of my breathing.

Bree climbs to the side of the bed and reaches backwards, to pass me a t-shirt from the floor, to clean up my mess. I don't know if she came and I feel incredibly guilty for not controlling myself until I found out and made it happen for sure. I will make it up to her later. She won't be disappointed.

I lean back against the mountain of pillows and she curls herself into my chest.

"Was that what you dreamed about?" She whispers up at me and I just nod with a smile, unable to put together a sentence just yet. It must be the biggest goofiest smile but I don't care.

"Mmm… good…" She whispers again and I watch as she nuzzles in and closes her eyes. She is so god-damned beautiful, how am I ever going to peel myself out of this bed? I should win a prize for controlling myself for all these years. God knows it has been far from easy.

"I love you so much," I whisper into her ear and kiss her forehead gently.

Was that just me or did she jump? I didn't think it was that shocking of a sentence. I said it lots last night. Come to think of it… I was the only one saying it. Oh fuck, how did I not notice that? The panic is back.

"Bree?" I ask with concern.

"Mmm?" She moans back through pressed lips as if nothing is happening. I feel her body had stiffened up and she isn't the pliable puddle of mush she was a couple of seconds ago.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yup," she barely squeaks out, which send up huge red flags. I reach down and push her back from my chest, with one hand on each of her shoulders and try to examine her face. She won't look up at me. What did I do?

"What's going on? What's the matter?" I prod frantically.

"Nothing… just, ignore me… everything is fine…" Right. Does she really expect me to believe that? She still won't up at me. I say 'I love you' and you turn into a mess… sounds totally normal to me.

"No, I obviously can't just ignore you and everything isn't fine. What is going on?" Panic is turning to frustration, as she just shakes her head. "Bree… please… if something is wrong here, I need to know, so I can fix it…"


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

"Hey, what are you doing over there?" Sid asks, as he sits up in bed and stretches. I glance over at him quickly and shrug. I have been up for a while now. Being in bed with him seems weird – good weird but surreal really. I have spent so many nights imagining what it would feel like being with him, letting my imagination take me to a different world. Now that it's really happening, I just can't seem to process it. I moved out of the bed and into the chair by the window a couple hours ago. It's a really comfy chair. It just occurred to me that when I bought this chair and never even sat in it. I bought it because it was the right look and I didn't care if it was comfy because it was for Sid's bedroom, certainly not a room I ever thought I would spend an extended period of time in. And I certainly didn't care if the girl that _did_ get to sit in it would be comfy.

"Just thinking…" I offer.

"About what?" I shrug again. I can't exactly tell him the truth right now. Nothing in my head is anything he would like. I hope he doesn't prod me for an answer.

"Well I gotta say… I'm slightly disappointed in you," He states and I can't tell if he's joking.

"Oh?" I respond. Not for nothing, but I did really good last night. If that wasn't good enough for him then he can just go stuff it.

"Yeah, you'd think you'd have a little respect for a guy's feelings. Do you have any idea how long I have dreamed about waking up beside you in my bed?" He adds with his crocked smile. "You are killing me here..."

I can't help but laugh to myself. I am a crazy paranoid freak.

"But I am going to do you a favour. I am going to pretend to go back to sleep for about two minutes… and let you rectify this situation," I watch as he folds back the blanket on the empty side of the bed, I guess that will be my side.

"I appreciate the do over…" I laugh as he leans back into the mountain of pillows that I am surprised he never moves off the bed. I doubt he even notices they are there.

I cross the room and gently slip back into bed. My feet are like heat seeking missiles and feel for the warmth of his body to warm them up. He cringes as I run my feet over his legs but tries not to act like he's awake. I curl up into him and for a short minute my brain turns off. All the questions and the doubts and the worries, slip away as he laces his fingers with mine and I truly believe that he has the power to make me do anything in the world right now.

He opens one eye and looks down at me, making sure that I am in the right spot before he continues his act. He is such a dork, it's so cute.

"Good morning," He groans as he stretches. He arches his back and presses his arms out over his head. I watch as he extends his legs out and I notice something else pressing against the sheets.

"Good morning," I offer to him and his firm little friend, located mid way down the bed. I am certainly not going to let that go to waste and I think he senses that himself as he slips his hand under my chin and pulls my face up to his. I am not usually this horny in the morning, much more of a mid afternoon girl myself, but I embrace the opportunity to expand my horizons and slip over top of him.

He watches in awe as I pull my shirt up over my head. He swears under his breath, at the sight of my breasts and runs his hands up over my thighs which are pinned to either side of him. Watching his reaction as I lean forward makes me feel incredibly sexy and I can't wait to have him inside me, as I lift my ass and let his hard penis push its way inside my entrance. He gasps for a breath, then chomps down on his lip trying to control himself, as I begin lifting and lowering myself, using controlled motions. I want him to grab and twist my nipples, slap my ass, run his fingers over my clit but he just lies there and watches while I do all the work. I don't have the courage to tell him what I want just yet so, he will get away with it this one time. I actually love the look on his face right now anyway. It's like he genuinely can't believe there is a woman on his cock. One of these days he is going to realize that he _is_ Sidney Crosby and could have any woman he wanted but for the time being he is stuck with me and I am going to make the most of it.

He runs his hands up my stomach and over the underside of my breasts and I get excited that he has almost figured out what I want without me telling him. He wraps his hands around my breasts and runs his thumbs firmly over my well defined nipples. '_Just flick it!_' I secretly beg but I am sure he is too worried about hurting me or offending me and just continues to gently stroke them. I realize that while I am pleading in my head, I inadvertently increased my speed and now it seems like Mr. Endurance from last night is tapping out. I wonder, if I just squeeze once will he…

"Oh fuck… Bree… let me get a…" Yup, yup he will… Sid lifts me up from his dick and waves of cum shoot out from the swollen red head. I smile a mischievous smile and reach over to grab him his t-shirt so he can clean up. He slumps back into the pillows and I happily flop into him. A part of me wants to disappear to the bathroom and finish up myself but the other part knows that it won't be long until he is hard again and I will make him work for it then.

"Was that what you dreamed about?" I ask, looking up at his face. He nods with a huge smile on his face. Duh. Isn't that what all guys dream about?

"Good." I add and lay my head back on his chest. He reached up and strokes the hair away from my face. He is so gentle and his touch is so light that it sends shivers down my spine.

"I love you so much," I hear him whisper into my hair as he kisses my forehead and every muscle in my body goes from relaxed to tight and tense. What do I do? Do I say it back? Do I try and ignore it because I really don't believe it? Do I confront him about why I think he need to stop saying that? There is no way he loves me and he needs to know that because… because… well that's just too weird for me. I'm not the 'I love you' girl, I'm the 'hey get me a latte' girl. He is changing my whole world in less then 12 hours and throwing the whole 'I love you' shit into the mix is just making it harder to deal with. He needs to shut the fuck up with that!

"Bree?" He asks and I freeze. I don't think I have said anything outloud. Maybe I can just pretend I'm asleep…

"Is everything okay?" Stop talking to me! I'm sleeping! I feel him shift and look down at me and realize that my eyes are open. Damn it! So much for pretending to be asleep.

"Yup," I offer, trying to pretend that everything is dandy but realize that my response came out with a panicked tone. Smooth. He reaches down and pulls me away from his chest, like he is about to shake me. I desperately avoid his eyes, knowing that if I see them, I might be weak and let an _'I love you'_ slip as well and then all hell will break loose because I can't love him. I just can't. And he doesn't _really_ love me. He can't. This is just too much.

"What's going on? What's the matter?" Now he sounds as panicked as I am.

"Nothing… just, ignore me… everything is fine…" I try and brush it off. I'm cool. Nothing is happening. Everything is normal. I should really get up, get dressed and get back to our regular routine. He has to get to practice and I have to fax a contract back to his dad and agent and … wow…

"No, I obviously can't just ignore you and everything isn't fine. What is going on?" Sid continues to prod but I barely hear him as my brain is swirling. Sidney Crosby, my boss, my walking pay cheque, is now basically paying me to sleep with him. Does that make me a prostitute? If I continue to sleep with him do I need to get a new job? I'm so confused…

"Bree… please… if something is wrong here, I need to know, so I can fix it…"

"I quit." That solves that.

"What?" Sid looks at me like I have forty eyeballs. "What do you mean, _you quit_?"

"Um… yeah… I think that I have to… you're my boss and I just slept with you…"

"Really? I say I love you and you are worried about _your job_?"

"Well… to be fair, I am worried about a thousand things right now and that seems to be the only one I could come up with a solution to, so…" I rationalize, finally looking up at him. He looks pissed.

"That's romantic. Thanks…" He finally takes his hands off my shoulders and crosses his arms across his chest.

"Well… someone has to think about these things and clearly you're not, so…"

"Oh yeah, stupid me! I pour out my heart to you and I forgot to think about the business side of things," He is practically shaking but I doubt he is thinking about how much he _loves_ me now.

"Sid… this is a lot to take in and it's easier for me to deal with things I understand…"

"Do you understand how I feel about you?"

"No… how could I?" I answer honestly.

"Cause it's easy! I told you. FLAT OUT. I. LOVE. YOU. Three words. Easiest words I have ever said in my life."

"Well that's not easy for me to say or hear! So congratulations, we'll just add that to the list of things that you are better then everyone else at!" I snap. How could he think it would be easy?

"Are you saying you don't… you don't love me?" Sid stutters and I look up into his eyes. He looks like he is about to cry. Damn it!

"No… I'm not saying that…"

"Then you do!" His eyes lit up.

"Jesus Christ Sid! I'm not saying anything because I… I … I don't know, okay!"

"You're just thinking too much!"

"Maybe you're not thinking enough!" I retort

"No! I have been thinking about how I feel about you for a really long time! I know how I feel and I am not afraid to say it!"

"Well I am! It changes _everything_!" My brain starts making a list of the changes and I have to shake the thoughts away. Not the time to make a list…

"Is that what you're afraid of? Because I'm pretty sure things have already changed," He softens his tone and reaches out, placing his hand over mine. I really don't need him to be sweet right now. I look up from the blanket where my eyes have been locked and realize he's right. Whether I say it or not, things are never going to be the same now. My whole routine is out the window. Poof. Just like that.

His eyes are locked on mine as he seems to be searching for some sort of understanding, some sort of acknowledgement that I hear what he is saying.

Well I do. Loud and clear.

"I love you," I whisper, not able to speak any louder. He practically lunges himself at me and presses his lips eagerly to mine, placing both hands on each side of my face and pulling me into him.

Well I should certainly get my turn now, as he lowers me back down to the bed and slips on top of me, pressing his second erection of the morning into my hip. I doubt he'll disappoint.


	12. Chapter 12

_*Please note: flashback_

**Chapter Twelve**

**- January 2008 - **

Well this is not how I thought I would be spending my winter, that's for sure. If I known I'd be home so soon, I probably would have just waited and brought everyone's Christmas presents home now, instead of mailing everything, which cost a fortune.

My dad opens the car door for me and hands me my crutches. I wave them away as my pits hurt more from using them then just walking on my damn foot. With this giant foot brace on, I can't feel anything anyway and I don't want my leg muscles all melting away. As soon as I can, I want to be back on the ice and I don't want to get all weak and shit.

"We let Bree know that you would be coming home for a couple days, so she'll be here to help you. Good timing to come, by the way. Your sister is away at the tournament in Quebec, so Bree is just twiddling her thumbs. Other wise your mom would be worrying about you being here alone the whole time…" My dad informs me. Great. Bree is home. That's exactly what I wanted – Bree to see me at my worst. To say I am a bit on the whiny side right now is a crazy understatement. Even Nathalie snapped at me.

"Try not to piss her off too much though, K? That's my job…" I laugh and promise my dad that I won't take over his responsibilities. Bree is normally so calm and collected. I love it when my Dad ruffles her feathers. You can really see her straining to not strangle him. It's great!

I see her appear at the side door and can't help but smile. There is just something about her.

"Hey gimpy, need a hand?" She offers, while pushing the door open.

"No… but I might take a new foot…" I offer and realize how lame that sounded as my dad rolls his eyes at me. You know it's bad when my dad - king of the bad joke - is shaking is head in shame.

"That was bad…" I admit.

"Yes it was son. Yes. It. Was." He nods and grabs my suitcase out of the trunk. At least Bree is laughing.

I follow him up the path to my house, hobbling along as best I can. The snow is really adding a new challenge to my quest for balance. It's colder here then it is in Pittsburgh but I am pretty excited to plop myself down on my couch in front my wood burning fireplace. I guess I have to look on the bright side, as I was really excited about that feature when I bought the house, but never thought I would be home to use it in the winter and now I get to.

Bree greets me with a hug and I can't help but think about how good she smells. It definitely crossed my mind when I decided to come home for awhile that it meant Bree and I would basically be living together. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little excited about it. I really liked the time we spent together during the summer and then again at Christmas, and I can't help but think that there is something between us. Maybe I'll find out while I'm home…

"Okay, so, you're mom will be by in the morning to check on you –" Dad warns me.

"She doesn't need to do that," I cut him off but he just glares at me - a glare that screams _'don't be stupid'_.

"You should be prepared for her fairly early," He continues. "It was all I could do to get her to not attack you at the airport. You know how she gets if you're sick or injured."

"Awww… she wants to take care of her baby boy," Bree reached over and pinches my cheek. I brush her hand away but can't help but smile. Her hand was soft.

"Goodnight Bree, don't let him be too much of a pain in the ass," Dad warns her.

"Oh, I won't," She smiles and accepts my crutches from him as he passes them along. I doubt I am going to be able to get away with anything with her. I doubt I'd even try. We both watch as my dad heads back out to his car and slowly drives away.

"Are you hungry?" She asks, leaning my crutches against the front entrance table and helping me with my coat.

"Ah, no… I ate on the plane," I shrug.

"Okay, well if you change your mind just let me know. I'll take this up to your room," She reached for my suitcase.

"I can -" I protest. I don't want her to think she has to take care of me.

"Just go sit down! I started a fire and you can change the channel or whatever. I wasn't really watching anything in particular…" She turns away from me and heads up the stairs with my luggage in hand. I shake my head when I realize I am watching her ass. Not that it was really _my fault_. It was at viewing height! It's not like I went out of my way to follow it or anything…

I head into the living room and hear the crackle of the fireplace. The warmth and glow from the burning embers fill the room and for the first time in a long time I feel a bit of the tension in my shoulders melt away. It will be nice to take the time to relax. I lower myself on the cold, yet inviting, leather of my couch, a couch that took me days to settle on. It feels good to sit and know that I can't do anything else. This feeling won't last long, so I better enjoy it before I go stir crazy.

"Do you want something to drink? A cuppatea, or…" Bree offers as she comes into the room and I can't help but start laughing.

"What?" She asks, pushing on my shoulder.

"A _cuppatea_? Really? You'd think you lived here all your life!" She is clearly blending in well with the East Coast lifestyle.

"Ha ha… how about a glass of wine then?" She pokes me and laughs at herself.

"I would love a glass a wine…" I concede and watch her wander into the kitchen. She expertly pours two glasses of red wine, catching the small drop on the rim with index finger then lifting it her mouth. Such a simple act, made me harder then I want to admit. I readjust my newly arisen erection, hoping to conceal it while she places the cork back into the bottle and wanders back towards the couch. I accept the glass she is passing me and she plops down at the other end. Normally, I would sprawl out across my couch but all of a sudden I feel like a guest in her house, rather then feeling at home, not knowing how to act and where to put my arms and legs.

"So? What's new?" I ask, trying to get comfortable and convincing myself that I need to learn to share my couch.

"Since two weeks ago? Not much…" She laughs.

"Yeah I guess so, eh?"

"Your sister did really good in her last game. Her coach was a little pissy that she missed a couple of games over the holidays but then she only allowed one goal in her first game back and got a shut out in the next one, so…" Bree shrugged.

"Wow… that's great," I am impressed by how good my sister has gotten in such a short period of time. She didn't start skating as early as I did and my parents couldn't really afford to put us both through the higher levels of hockey, so she had to wait until I made it to really get her chance. I promised my parents that I would spare no expense and give her the best of everything.

"Jay and I have been working with her after school – " Bree continued and I had to do a double take.

"Wait what? Jay? Like, my buddy Jason?" I am a little thrown by that one.

"Um yeah… she has kinda out grown my shooting abilities, so he's been coming to help out," Bree shrugs. "He seems like a pretty good guy. We've been spending a bit of time together lately. When I'm not fighting with your dad that is…"

I know I should say something right now but I am a bit in shock. That sleazy bastard just couldn't keep his nasty ass hands off her. I leave her alone for one freakin second and he moves in and… fuck! I just fought Max off of her and now Jason? Jesus!

"Sid?"

"Mmm… what?" I snap back into to reality. She is now just starring at me, a look of concern on her face. Obviously she knew that telling me would be weird and now she wants me to tell her its fine. Well its not _fine_ but I can't exactly say that. But I'm going to, cause that's the kinda schmuck I am. "No… that's great." Lie. "He's, ah, a good guy… I've know him my whole life."

"Really?" She looks relieved. Too bad she can't tell I'm lying, that would save me a whole lot of effort.

"Yeah, for sure. It's good you're making friends here… Um, there's a lot of really good people around here," What the fuck am I suppose to say?

"Yeah, for sure," Bree nods in agreement. "Well it's late, so I am going to head to bed. You're mom will be here early, so you shouldn't stay up too long…"

I grunt my understanding but the last thing I care about right now is my mother's wakeup call. All I can think about is how much I want to smash that little turd's face in and I really have no right to…

-.-

"GOOD MORNING!" My mother bellows as she barges into my room.

"Jesus Christ mom, what time is it?" I cover my face with my arms as she flips on the light. I wasn't exactly asleep but this would be a horrible way to wake up if I was. I haven't actually gotten any sleep, between adjusting my foot, scratching my foot, then readjusting my foot and testing it to see if it's better yet, which I know it isn't but I have to try… there wasn't much time left. And I admit, the little time left was spent thinking about the girl down the hall, which certainly isn't helping.

"Time for you to get up!" She reached over and placed her hand on my forehead.

"MOM! Come on! I have a sprained ankle, not a fever!" I bat her hand away.

"I'm just checking!" She pulls her hand back and straightens my pillow behind me.

"Bree is just making coffee and I brought you guys some muffins…" She steps back from the bed and moves over to my suitcase, lifting it and putting it down on the end of the bed.

"Mom, don't… don't worry about unpacking my suitcase. I probably won't be here that long. Just long enough to give Nathalie a break," I offer, sitting up in bed and reaching down to scratch my foot… again! This brace is soooo freakin annoying!

"You better not be giving that woman a hard time. She is so sweet and she takes such good care of you - "

"I'm not mom, I swear!" I promise her but can't help but feel bad because I know that I probably am annoying her without meaning to. I bet Mario was ten times worse then me and he was hurt a lot more. She is probably used to it.

"And don't you dare think about treating Bree like some sort of slave either! I didn't raise my son to be some invalid!"

"But I am an invalid!" I point down to my foot.

"Oh pulleeze! It's just a little ankle sprain. You will be fine," She rolls her eyes. So much for a little sympathy. Everyone always thought it was my dad that made me tough, but it was definitely my mom. You need to be seriously bleeding to get any attention from her and even then, she will probably just whip a bandaid of her purse and send you back on the ice. She doesn't believe in pain. If I have to hear '_you want pain, push out a baby with a head your size_' one more time… I am going to puke. Seriously. That's gross.

"I know I'll be fine, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't like to sleep…" I offer in defense.

"You can sleep when you're dead. Now time to get up. I am sure your grandma would like to see you," My mom gives me the look that says '_Don't fuck with_ _me_' and leaves the room. That look implies that I better be up and dressed and happy about it in ten minutes. I am familiar with the look.

I reach down and undo the Velcro straps on the foot brace and slip it off happily. I am supposed to wear it all the time but I hate it. Showers seem to be the only moments of happy I get without it. I give my foot a little twirl, to test the strength and it hurts almost instantly. Not a good sign. Fuck. I pry myself off my bed and reach over to my suitcase for my toiletries bag, balancing on my big toe, trying to not put any weight on my foot if I don't have to. I have to use the crutches to get down the hall to the bathroom and instantly look forward to throwing the damn things in the garbage.

The shower doors are wet, as I swing them open to flip on the tap. Bree must have been up early to have her shower before my mom got here. I don't even think it's eight yet. She is probably used to my mom's early bird routine by now. I step into the shower and go about my business quickly, knowing that my mom is probably already looking at her watch. I step out of the shower, carefully protecting my foot and dry off before wrapping a towel securely around my waste. I debate how to get back to my room. Do I take the crutches and leave my clothes, or leave my clothes and take my crutches? I know I can't handle both so I have to make a decision. I don't want Bree to think I am a slob if she comes to the bathroom and my clothes are all over the place and I really hate the crutches, but I don't know if my foot can handle it without crutches. Maybe one crutch and an armful of clothes… yeah, that'll work. Good plan.

I reach for the crutch and get it under my arm and grab my clothes, checking to make sure that the towel is securely in place. Very important step. I crack the bathroom door and peek down the hall for the all clear. Nobody needs to see my awkwardness.

I make it all the way to my bedroom without an incident and throw my clothes on the floor in relief. Wait. One, two… I flip through the articles on the clothes with the stump of my crutch. I had a shirt, sweats and… boxers. Shit. There are no boxers in this pile. That means they are in the bathroom or… shit, the hallway.

I turn around quickly and through open the bedroom door again and peek down the hall. There they are. Lying by the bathroom door. I would be mortified if Bree found them lying there and my mom would make a huge embarrassing scene. I can hear their voices downstairs in the kitchen. I have to get them and I have to get them quick.

I begin back down the hall with my one crutch and rescue the rogue boxers. I tuck them up under my armpit to not only hide them but to soften the blow of the crutch against my bare skin. My skin is raw and I am not sure what hurts more, that or my foot. I need to get the brace back on so I can throw this crutch away.

I take a couple more steps then pause to give my underarm a break, then a couple more and another break.

"Hey, do you need any help?" I look up to see Bree standing at the top of the hall and am instantly glad I spent the extra effort grabbing my boxers.

"Umm… no, I'm good. I just hate the crutches," I admit with a smile. "My mom pacing out there already?"

"Yeah… you better hurry up or you are going to have to replace the hardwood floors," She smiles.

"Right, okay, I'll be right out…" I tell her and take the couple more steps into my bedroom. I get to the door frame and lean against it for momentary relief, then take the last step in. My towel unfortunately doesn't make the last leg of our journey, as the securely tucked edge gets caught on the door frame, slips undone and begins falling. I do the best I can at holding it up but I can only protect the front or back 'cause I only have one hand available for assistance. I stand behind my decision but desperately plead that Bree has moved on and isn't standing right behind me.

But of course she is, as I glance over my shoulder. And to think, I was worried about her seeing my boxers in the hall…

-.-

I tried not to look. I really did. But come on, it was right there!

Watching him fumble around to hold everything in place was pretty classic. I didn't think he would be so bashful, as he looks back at me and turns a deep shade of crimson. Certainly nothing to be _bashful_ about. Whew. That is one _fine_ specimen.

"I'm sorry… I didn't mean to… moon you…" He offers hesitantly, dropping the crutch that is propped under his arm to free his other hand and grab the rest of the towel.

"It's fine… not the first ass I've seen," I offer with a smile trying to make him a bit more comfortable. "I'm going to head back to the kitchen but you should cover that thing up and come deal with your mother." I give him a little wink and turn around. Sid just leans his head into his door in shame.

I get back to the kitchen and take another big sip of my coffee but can't seem to wipe the big dumb smile off my face.

"Did he look like he was ready?" Trina asks.

"Um… he was just getting out of the shower and heading back to his room," I explain to her, trying not to laugh but feeling my own cheeks heat up. "I'm sure he'll be right out."

"He's so slow," Trina looks at her watch again. It's been, like, eight minutes since she woke him up. Impatient much?

I hear the front door open and am glad for the distraction.

"Jay! Good morning! How are you? How's your mom?" Trina jumps up from her chair and greets Jason as he comes around the corner.

"I'm good, she's good, everyone is good," He smiles and accepts a hug from Trina.

"What are you doing here? You're going to be late for work," I don't need to check my watch because Trina has been updating me on the time every three minutes while we wait for Sid.

"Yeah, I just thought I'd come see how the Boy Wonder is doing," Jay comes over and kisses my cheek. I won't lie, it's been nice having a guy around and Jason seems to really like me, treats me well and all that. I don't think that it's serious but it's fun and that's okay by me.

"Oh, he is fine! But it's sweet of you to be concerned," Trina waved off Sid's injury like it was a paper cut.

"I remember when he had bronchitis in peewee and the coach wouldn't let him play... he moped for days," Jason laughed. "I can't imagine how annoying he is now. At least he's not coughing all over everyone…"

"Yeah, I guess that's a bonus…" I take another sip of my coffee. If it was a cough, he wouldn't need the crutches and he could have held up his own towel. And then I wouldn't have been able to see his ass. Pretty glad it's not a cough. The big dumb grin is back.

I can hear Sid clomping down the stairs and towards the kitchen, with the hard brace on his foot. I reach for another coffee mug and pour him a cup. If I remember correctly, he takes it black, so I don't leave any room for cream. He comes into the room and his mom checks her watch. He looks up at me and the redness reappears in his cheeks, as I laugh to myself and hand him the coffee.

"Hey man, how's it goin'?" Sid accepts the coffee and greets Jason.

"Well I have two working legs so, all in all, pretty good," Jason laughs and shakes Sid's hand. I find the man handshake an oddity. Sid and Jay have been friends forever and they still shake hands? I think of a handshake as something for politicians, not close friends. "How long you gonna be in town?"

"I dunno… not to long, I don't think. Just a couple days, maybe," Sid shrugs. His answers are short and quick, kinda grumpy-like.

"Yeah? We should get together with some of the guys for drinks while you are here," Jay suggests. Sid just nods and chews his lip before taking a gulp of coffee.

"Drink up there mister, we have a lot to do today," Trina reminds him. Sid rolls his eyes and reaches down to scratch his foot beneath his brace.

"Yeah, I should get going too… regular man's job and all…" Jay pushes himself back from the countertop. "Good seeing you both. And you," He turns to me and leans his forehead into mine. "I will see you later." Then he presses his lips into mine, dipping me back in my chair before pulling me back up and flicking my nose with his. Now it's my turn to turn bright red, as Sid is glaring at us and his mom looks shocked at Jay's blatant PDA. He has certainly never done that in front of her and I am not entirely sure that she knew we were dating. I guess she does now...

"Well… that was interesting," Trina begins, turning to face me, as Jay slips out the door. I really wish I was anywhere else right now.

"I'm ready to go," Sid puts his cup down on the counter with a loud clunk and laboriously climbs to his feet, taking a second to test his balance before heading to the door.

"What time will you guys be back?" I ask, very thankful for the change of conversation topic. I walk with Trina to the front door, where Sid is stopped, checking his phone.

"Probably early afternoon," Trina answers, reaching for her purse. "Don't want to throw off Sid's schedule too much, so he'll need his afternoon nap…"

"Mom, come on… you make me sound like I'm two years old," Sid whines. "I only have a nap on _game days_…"

"Oh stop whining, let's go!" She just prods him along and I smile after them.

"I'll see you later then," I hold the door for them as they head out to the driveway. Sid looks back at me and nods silently before climbing into the passenger side of his mom's new SUV.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

"Hey Sid!" I call down the hall. "Are you sure you don't want to come to dinner with us?" I feel bad leaving him here alone.

"No, no… go, have a good time. You don't need me moping and bringing you down," He comes out of his office and limps down the hall towards me. I can tell from the tone in his voice that he is in pain… and that he is wallowing in his own self pity. The first day he was home he tried to act like it wasn't bothering him. The second day was a bit more telling but now he is past acting and now you can see the _real_ Sidney. It's not pretty. He's annoying as hell and if I thought it would work - and make him _instantly_ better - I would cut off my own damn foot and give it to him.

"You won't!" I insist but it's a total lie. He totally would. "Seriously, though… what are you going to do tonight?"

"I dunno… but don't worry, I'll be fine."

"Do you want me to make you something to eat before I go?" I don't even give him an option, as I head towards the kitchen. I know he will say no, but I also know that he can't cook a bloody thing and he'll just sit here and eat bread with peanut butter and that's not a good enough meal.

"You really don't need to…"

"I'm ignoring you," I smile sweetly and head into the kitchen.

Sid just smiles. He's such a cutie when he's not a miserable ass.

"Is there something you want? Chicken or fish…"

"Fish would be great. Does a prairie girl know how to cook fish?"

"SHUT UP! I can cook anything!" I laugh. Troy has forbid me from cooking lobster for the same reasons. East coast people are very particular about their seafood.

"I'm just kidding. I appreciate it, I really do…" He plops himself onto a stool at the island and watches as I dig out a couple of ingredients from the fridge. I quickly begin prepping a piece of salmon in a parchment pouch, so Sid can pop it in the oven whenever he gets hungry. I throw in some veggies, some lemon slices and dill, a pad of butter and voila! Dinner is done. Some microwavable rice and you've got yourself a meal. Even someone who has never had to cook for themselves in their lives could handle this one. Maybe Sid paid enough attention that he could make it himself. I doubt it.

"All you have to do is put this in the oven, maybe four hundred for like twenty minutes, when you are ready to eat," I instruct him.

"You put butter in it…" Sid looks at me blankly.

"Yeah… it's called cooking…" I respond with a laugh but he continues to stare, blinking those long eye lashes of his at me.

"I can't have butter," He shakes his head.

"But butter equals flavour… it's just a little butter, it won't kill you…" I shrug. A thank-you would have been better…

"I can't have butter…" He just repeats and stares at me. The blank expression on his face is frustrating the shit out of me. I can guarantee him that he eats butter every time he goes out for dinner! Every restaurant worth its menu uses butter! It's how they make things _taste good_! If I didn't use butter, it would taste like cardboard and then he would complain that I can't cook seafood. I can't win.

As he continues to stare at me, I feel my blood boiling. I want to scream soooo many things right now. Instead I take the high road and ignore him, picking the prepared meal up and placing it on a shelf in the fridge. "If you don't eat it tonight, I'll eat it tomorrow." I slam the fridge door shut a little harder then I anticipated. I turn back around to clean up my prep area and notice Sid's expression has at least changed. Apparently he is shocked that he's not the only one in the room that can be miserable. I know, real shocker, right?

"I didn't mean to insult you but I have a strict diet…" Sid tries to apologize but I don't want to hear it right now.

"Whatever…" I wipe down the counter and turn away from him.

"I'll eat it, I'm just saying…" He insists.

"I'm gonna go get ready to go…" I cut him off. This conversation is going nowhere good and I don't want to be in a crazy grumpy mood tonight. Jason is always telling me stories about Sid being a bit of a diva and me being upset with him will only encourage it. I just want to have a nice dinner.

-.-

I watch her walk down the path and slide into Jason's front seat. I want to throw my crutch through his front window. He is such a fucking ass, I can't believe she is going anywhere with him. I turn around and head back to the living room and throw myself down on the couch. This is probably the first time I have been home alone. It's for sure the first time I have been home alone in the winter. I don't think I've been home in the winter, except for, like, two days at Christmas since I was, like, fourteen maybe?

I can do this.

People stay home alone all the time. What do they do? Channel surf. I reach over and grab the remote, turning the TV on and beginning my descent. I have what seems like 2,000 channels, I must be able to find something to watch. Naturally I stop on sports highlights and feel my blood boil as they talk about how Ovi is passing me in points while I am injured. Nice of them to add salt to the wound.

TV off.

Maybe I can't do this.

I reach over and grab my phone and quickly dial Andy's phone number. He'll be home. Maybe he wants to go out. Then I don't have to sit here and realize how sad I am.

"_Hey man, how's it hangin?"_ Andy picks up the phone before I even hear it ring on my end.

"Not to bad, not to bad." I nod as if he can see me.

"_What's up?"_

"I was just wondering what you were up to? I'm kinda bored," I admit.

"_Hahaha… I always wondered what would happen if you couldn't play hockey…"_

"Yeah well, it's not pretty…" Great. Now even my best friend is laughing at me.

"_Well, me and some buddies were going to head to The Dome, if you wanted to tag along."_

"The Dome? That's kinda flashy… I don't know if I should…"

"_Dude, you seriously need to relax! Come have a good time, have a couple drinks, dance with some skank, maybe take her home, let her suck your dick… that's what guys your age are doing, ya know?" _

"I know… I just…" I can't help but worry. If a picture got out or… God, I worry too much. I am just going to have a drink with friends - it's not the end of the world. There is no way in hell I would bring a girl home. "Okay, I'm in."

"_Great! You can pick me up!" _

"Sure, whatever. What time?" I'm not suppose to drive with this thing on my foot but Bree isn't here to give me crap, so I guess no one will know.

"_Like an hour?"_

"I'll be there." Andy says goodbye and I hang up the phone. Maybe this is what I need. Just a good night out with the guys. I guess I'll have to shower… ugh.

-.-

This is definitely _not_ what I needed. Is this seriously what guys my age find fun? The music is crazy loud and pounding and the flashing lights are obnoxious. I have had so many drunk girls grind themselves into me, throw their arms around me or spill their drink on my shoe I want to scream. I bet I could. I bet no one would hear me over the music.

"Dude relax! Don't be such a fucking prude!" Andy screams but I can barely hear him.

"I'm not a prude!" Maybe I am.

"Prove it!"

"Fuck off!" He knows I hate being challenged, but this one isn't going to work.

"You just need to meet some of our new friends," Andy yells into my ear.

"WHAT?"

"COME ON," He grabs me by the shoulder and drags me towards where some of his buddies are standing with a group of very scantily clad young ladies. I am not even sure that what the girl in the middle is wearing counts as clothing. I think I have face cloths bigger. If my sister ever tried to leave the house in that, my dad with staple her to the living room couch.

"Hey ladies, have you met my friend Sid?" Andy wraps his arm around my shoulders.

"Oh my God, you're that guy!" The girl wearing the face cloth shrieks. Wow really? That guy hey? Way to pay attention. Someone, maybe, should have told her not to drink the bleach after she was finished putting it in her hair.

"Sid is the best hockey player in the world!" Andy helps her out. I just smile and take another sip of my beer. I hate getting introduced like that. I don't want to be with a girl who only wants me because I play hockey. I mean I guess I shouldn't worry about that because none of these girls are exactly my type.

"Wow! I've heard hockey players have really good… stamina…" She smiles and her eyes fall below my waist. I thought guys were the only ones that checked out the goods.

"Aww… you're going to make Sid blush," another girl chimes in. At least she is wearing a bit more clothing.

"He needs to take his mind of his injury, maybe you ladies could help him out?" Andy smiles a giant, bastard smile and the girls all giggle.

-.-

I feel so dirty. I can't believe I did that. I look over at the girl lying face down on my bed and my stomach turns. The lights in the club really do mess with one's vision… or maybe it was the beer. She is really unattractive. Now what do I do? I wish I had paid attention to Max or Jordy when they went on about all the ways they got the girl out of their bed in the morning but I never thought I would need it.

I feel her stir and start to panic. Do I pretend that I am still asleep and hope she leaves on her own? How will she get out? She probably doesn't even know where we are to call a cab… Do I greet her with a 'good morning'? That seems to intimate. I don't want her to get the wrong idea. Fuck. Oh I know…

I sit up and swing my legs out the side of the bed. I reach down and scratch my foot. It's sticky, as someone spilt beer on it last night. Probably more then one person, come to think of it and I'll have to wash it or something… well that's annoying.

I feel a hand creep up my back and snap back to the problem at hand. Be cold Sid. Be cold.

"Hey," I offer as I look back at the girl who is now looking up at me. I wish I could remember her name.

"Hey yourself," She purrs. Cold Sid. Cold.

"So do you want me to call you a cab? Or do you have a friend who could pick you up?" I ask and feel her hand snap back. I think that worked. I think she got the point. She rolls over and reaches for her discarded shirt lying on the floor beside the bed.

"A cab would be great, thanks," She says quietly. Now I feel bad but I know that I shouldn't. She should have known what she was in for when she came here.

"You could have a shower or something, while you wait," I suggest, reaching for my phone to call a cab company.

"Wanna join me?" She asks suggestively, looking over her shoulder.

"No thanks," I pull my boxers up over my ass and head out of the bedroom. I could really use a coffee but I _really_ hope Bree isn't in the kitchen making it. That would add a whole other element of uncomfortable.

She had texted me last night that she wouldn't be coming home, so not to stay up waiting for her but I have no idea what time she would get home. Reading that probably didn't encourage the best decision making on my part. I think up until that point I actually had some self control. I blame Bree.

Fortunately, she isn't in the kitchen and there don't seem to be signs of her anywhere. Which also means no coffee. I'll have to find the coffee filters. I have no idea where they are. I begin opening cupboard doors and peering inside. There is a lot of food in these cupboards that I can't have. Cinnamon Toast Crunch, strawberry Pop Tarts. Oh my God, when was the last time I had a Pop Tart? I'm sure one wouldn't hurt…

I pop one sweet delectable strawberry Tart into the toaster and continue the search for coffee filters, opening door after door. Where did I get all this stuff? It must be Bree's. I am pretty sure I don't own a red KitchenAid hand blender. I baked a cake once in junior high cooking class but it certainly wasn't edible. I shrug and move on to the next cupboard.

"That's a pretty swanky shower you've got in there…" The girl comes into the kitchen, her hair wet but not exactly clean looking. It looks like she just rinsed off more then anything.

"Yeah, its pretty good… the water pressure isn't always the best but better then nothing, I guess," I hate making small talk. Almost as much as I hate the awkward silence.

"Is something burning?" She asks, looking around the kitchen.

"SHIT!" I hurry to the toaster and release the lever. Sure enough, the damn thing is black and reeks. Now I remember why I don't eat them. "Bloody Pop Tart… wasn't meant to be…" I pick it out of the toaster carefully and chuck it into the garbage can.

It's funny. This girl is laughing at my incompetency and it's annoying the piss out of me. If Bree were here, she would be laughing at me too but it wouldn't bother me. This girl needs to leave – now.

"I think your cab is probably here," I spit out bluntly and head to the front door to look out the window. Perfect timing as the hired car makes its way slowly down the driveway. "Yup, he's here…"

"Great," she nods with an exasperated sigh.

She slips on her heels, which may have been a good decision when she was getting dressed last night but she's probably regretting the open toe now, as she has to walk down the long, snow-covered path to the cab.

I open the door for her and debate in my head if I should offer her some money for the cab. I am afraid it will look like I am paying her for her services and decide against it. That's the last thing I need getting out right now. Her thinking I am an asshole is much better. She steps towards the door just as another cab pulls up the lane. I freeze in my place as I recognize Bree's head in the back and can already see the confused expression on her face. Great. Perfect timing. I see the girl tilt her head and watch as the second cab comes to a stop and Bree climbs out.

"What? Do you have girls on rotation?" She asks me with her hand on her hip. I can imagine how this looks.

"No she's –" What do I say? She's nobody? Not true. She's sleeping with someone else? Too mean. She's everything to me? Too honest. "She's just my assistant." That certainly didn't feel right.

"Oh… okay," The girl smiles, as if that was a good enough answer for her. It wasn't for me.

"So, will you call me?" She asks as she wraps her hands around my neck.

I turn my attention away from Bree who is walking towards us, in a much more practical shoe choice, and look into the expectant eyes glued to my face. The mascara stains under her eyes and the caked foundation that didn't wipe off on my pillow, or in her so-called shower, are even more evident in this light. I reach up and grab the girl's arms, untying them from my neck. "No, probably not…" I shake my head.

"You're an asshole," She hisses at me and a part of me is pretty shocked she didn't slap me or something.

"I'm just being honest." I try to justify.

"Agh! Hockey players! No more!" She screams as she stomps down the stairs and towards the cab that was waiting for her. I imagine that isn't the first time that girl has sworn off hockey players – or the last. It's a common situation in this town.

Bree is paused, standing at the end of the side walk watching everything. She looks up at me with a raised eyebrow and lets out a little chuckle before heading up the walk towards me, after what's her name practically pushes her out of the way to get by.

"_WHAT_?" I snap.

"Nothing…" She just shrugs and adjusts her purse on her shoulder.

"You don't get to judge me!" I hiss at her as she climbs the front stairs. I can see the look in her eyes. It's killing me. I really wish she had come home a couple minutes later.

"I wasn't judging you…" She shakes her head but doesn't take her eyes off me. How come she was out all night but her skin looks fresh and clean? Oh yeah, maybe because some sleaze bag guy didn't pick her up in some dirty nightclub.

"I saw the look in your eyes!"

"Whatever you saw, you imagined… maybe _you're_ judging you," She slides past me and into the house. Fuck, I hate that she is right.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

"You don't get to judge me!" He snarls at me as I climb the stairs.

"I wasn't judging you…" Okay maybe I was. I don't know why I am surprised. I guess I just thought he wasn't a one-night stand kinda guy.

"I saw the look in your eyes!" He hurls again.

"Whatever you saw, you imagined… maybe _you're_ judging you," I have no interest in getting into some sort of battle with him on the front stairs. And it's freezing out. I had a perfectly relaxing evening and a good night's sleep and I don't want to waste it. I haven't been able to sleep properly since Sid's been home, I'm not sure why. It's nothing he has done, I just keep waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. I must be having a bad dream but I don't remember anything. Jason suggested I get away for a night, so I checked into a hotel. I'm sure that's not what he had in mind but… I'm just not ready to go _there_ with him yet. I know he is frustrated but there is something about sleeping with Sid's friend that is kinda grossing me out. I guess, I don't want him _talking_ about me. Do guys talk about sex? That would be _really_ weird.

I head into the house and drop my bag on the chair at the front door. Something smells like burnt sugar - but like _bad_ burnt - not like creme brulee, more like... i dunno, but it's bad. I leave him alone for one night and he tries to burn down the house… oye.

"So you had a good night, I take it?" I ask, as Sid follows me into the kitchen.

"It was fine… nothing special," Sid shrugs and plops himself down on a bar stool at the breakfast bar.

"Wow, I am sure that girl would love to know that she is _'nothing special_'," I laugh. "Did you go out or –"

"Or what? Did I call some service?" He snaps at me. "I don't need to –"

"I was going to say, did people come over?" I cut him off. I don't need to know how he gets his rocks off.

"Oh…" He concedes, his shoulders slumping as he realizes that he doesn't need to be on the defensive. "I went out with some buddies…"

"And made a new friend, good for you," I smile, sniffing around from where the awful smell is coming from.

"She's not a friend… I don't even know her name," He admits.

"Wow, really?" I am shocked. Mr. Proper, Mr. High Moral Character, doesn't know the name of the girl he fucked last night…

"See, you are judging…"

"More like _misjudging_… I just didn't think that was your type, is all… she seemed really fake…" What I really want to say is _'I guess I misjudged you all along._' Who was I kidding though? Of course he would go for the perky Barbie doll… he's a guy, that's what they like, right? I'm an idiot for thinking he was somehow better then that…

"Whatever…" he lowers his gaze to the counter momentarily and it seems to me like he is ashamed of himself. Or maybe I'm just hoping he is. "Can you just make some coffee? I started to but I couldn't find the filters," He asks.

"The coffee maker doesn't use filters," I explain and he swears and throws his arms in the air. "Don't get mad at me! It's your coffee maker! You should know! And, seriously, did you burn something in here?"

"Um… yeah… a Pop Tart…"

"You can have pop tarts but you can't have a bit of butter on your salmon?"

"No, I _can't_ have Pop Tarts," He corrects me. "I had a lapse in good judgement but luckily fate was there to take of it… that shit really shouldn't be in the house…"

"Are we still talking about your breakfast choice? Or maybe another lapse in good judgement recently?" I ask dryly, using air quotes on 'good judgement'. I seldom use air quotes but feel this is the appropriate time.

"Just make the fucking coffee," Sid turns and stomps out of the room. Opps. Now, I _know_ I pushed him too far. That was fun.

-.-

I want to punch the wall. I hate that she knows me so well. I hate that she calls me on my shit. I hate that she is in there thinking I am some sort of sleaze bag that picks up whores in a nightclub. I hate that I became that sleaze bag that picked up a whore in a nightclub. I hate that I still really want a Pop Tart.

I wanted to defend myself in there but Bree was right. The girl from the club was not my type. She was the opposite of my type. But she was also the opposite of Bree and that's what I needed. I can't exactly say that though, can I? Whatever… I'm an idiot. I shouldn't have just expected that Bree was going to wait around for me to make some great move. She's gorgeous and funny and smart and athletic and sexy as hell… and it was just a matter of time before someone scooped her up. I just have to deal with it. I wish it wasn't Jason. She looks really tired and that's horrible. It makes me think about what made her so tired. I hate that that is what I am thinking about. It makes me want to punch the wall more.

"Hey," Bree steps into the living room with a cup of coffee in her hand. "I am really sorry… I didn't mean to push your buttons…"

I accept the coffee and offer my own apology. "No, I'm sorry… I shouldn't have snapped at you. I am just a little - "

"Tired?" She asks sweetly then giggles. I can't even get mad because I love her laugh. "Hopefully the coffee will help…"

"You're not tired?" I smile at her. I guess Jason didn't perform to very high standards. Shocker.

"No, I'm not tired… but thanks for asking. How about I go make us some breakfast?" She totally just brushed that off. Maybe I'll pry later...

"That would be really great…" I smile at her and lift the coffee to my lips. "I'm gonna go have a quick shower."

"Okay, I'll go get started then…" Bree offered and leaves the room and I focus on conquering my current enemy – the shower. Such a routine task has become a whole damn complicated process because of my damn foot.

-.-

"Um… Sid… I, um, have a little problem…" I hear Bree outside the door of the bathroom and am super happy I brought my clean clothes to the bathroom with me. I have totally leaned my lesson!

"What is it?" I call, reaching over and grabbing my sweats. I don't think that she would just pop in – that's much more of something that my mom would do – but still, I don't really need to risk another flashing. As it stands, she's only seen my ass and, well, I'd like to keep my dangly bits protected.

"I think, I ah, I think I need a Band-Aid…" I hear her stutter. There is a strange tone in her voice that I can't quite place.

"Oh okay, I'll just finish getting dressed and bring one down to the kitchen," I offer. I pull my sweats up and re-strap the brace to my foot. I pull my shirt over my head and then begin digging in the vanity for the small first aid kit my Grandma bought me as a house warming present. As if that wasn't an omen. Thanks Grandma. There are two sizes of Band-Aid in the kit - itsy bitsy and Chara large. I grab a small, thinking the large is probably bigger then most of Bree's body parts and clump slowly down the stairs to the kitchen.

Bree is sitting on one of the bar stools with a dish towel wrapped around her hand. My first thought is that I don't remember having red dish towels and then I realize that I don't.

"Holy fuck Bree! That's a lot of blood! I think you need a lot more then a Band-Aid!" There is literally blood everywhere. It looks like a fucking crime scene.

"Um… maybe," Bree just nods. She is clearly in shock. Her face is ghost white and the sight of that much blood is starting to have the same effect on me. I can handle a bit of blood. I am a hockey player. But this… this is more then a bit.

"What did you do?" I quickly look around the kitchen for another tea towel, realizing the one on her hand is reaching maximum capacity… and I don't really want to look at it… so gross…

"Umm… I dunno… the knife slipped… I'll be fine…" Bree pulls back the tea towel to replace it with the new one I am handing her and I feel faint as I get a glimpse of the injury. NO – not fine. I have to look up at the ceiling to stop myself from passing out.

"No, we are going to the hospital! Come on!" I instruct her, looking around for my keys.

"I'll be fine… just needs a Band-Aid," She brushes off my concern.

"No, we're going…" I know she is acting tough but I'm not. "Besides, I don't want you bleeding on my floor…"

She laughs in an eerily calm way and climbs to her feet. Fine, my ass! I have to grab her to help her balance on her own feet. She is clearly light headed from the blood loss and I have to help her to the door. I grab her purse and a garbage bag to wrap her hand in. Her bleeding on my floor was a joke but I really don't want her to bleed in my car…

-.-

"Okay, so let's take a look at this…" A young doctor walks into the room, looking at his clipboard. "Breanna is it?"

Bree nods and the doctor walks over to the side of the hospital bed. He looks up at me and offers me a little nod. We've only been waiting for a couple minutes which means one of two things. One, Bree's cut is actually really bad. Potentially worse then the old man in the waiting room with a bandage over his eye – which is unlikely; or two, the sizable donation to the hospital's pediatric ward, came with perks. Normally I would complain about being treated differently but I'd really like Bree to get looked at quickly so I can go get some breakfast. I'm regretting not eating the burnt Pop Tart.

The doctor pulls back the bandage the triage nurse gave her and makes a little face of concern. "Well it looks like your, ah, boyfriend?"

"Just friend," Bree corrects him and smiles flirtatiously at the doctor.

"Ahh, just friend…" The doctor smiles back. Really? Flirting with the patient? Isn't that a little cliché? "He, um, made the right choice to bring you in… you've got a really deep one here. I'll get a nurse to bring some stuff in here to clean it out and I will _personally_ stitch you up."

"That would be great," Bree giggles. I can't help but roll my eyes. What is it with girls and doctors?

"I am an expert seamstress," Dr. Dickhead assures her. "See this here?" He point to his forehead. "Stitched myself up when I was an intern. You can barely see the scar…"

"Wow," Bree reaches out and runs a finger on her good hand along the doctor's handy work.

"Oh for fuck sakes," I let slip. Bree shoots me a death glare but luckily the good doctor seems to get the point. Gag me with a spoon.

"I'll be back in a couple of minutes to get that done for you," He nods and walks out of the room.

"What was_ that_ for?" Bree throws a balled up Kleenex at me.

"Oh please! '_I'm an expert seamstress. I stitched my asshole shut myself._ _Hump me here_'. What was that?" I mock him.

"Don't be jealous!"

"Of Dr. Dickhead, there? I am not jealous…"

"Not all men have what it takes to be a doctor… settling for hockey is okay too," Bree teases me.

"What's that? Credit to get $100,000 in student loans? Somehow, I think I'll pass…" I laugh.

"Yeah but they make that back," She reminds me.

"Yeah but I make more then that in a week and I don't have to collect _stool _samples. Maybe he should have _settled_ for playing in the national fucking hockey league? Since apparently it's so easy!"

"Yeah, well I'd much rather marry a doctor…" She shrugs and smiles sweetly. Ouch. I put my hands over my heart and pretend that she shot me. Yeah, I hear doctors have women dressing in god damned wedding dresses, screaming their names, in _their_ audiences. She wants to be mean, I can be mean. I can feel my temper building up in my head.

"Really? A Doctor? Cause you're dating Jason…" Boom, take that! The guy barely made it through high school. He was too busy chasing tail… which apparently hasn't changed…

"We aren't really dating… just keeping each other company," Bree tries to explain but I have a pretty hard time believing it.

"That's not the message I got from him," I can't help but roll my eyes which is unfortunately because the image of him kissing her in my kitchen is burnt into the inside of my eyelids. I was in the kitchen that morning – she didn't exactly push him away. And she did the walk of shame this morning, so… if all she wanted was company, she didn't have to go out. I was home.

"Yeah, he doesn't normally do that kinda stuff. He's weird around you…" Bree nods in agreement.

"Kinda like a dog pissing on a fire hydrant?" I suggest as a nurse walks into the room with a tray of equipment. This is probably a good time to leave the room as I don't really want to see what is going to happen next. I haven't eaten and am already a bit squeamish, the sight of blood probably isn't going to be conducive to the stomach pain. But then the doctor walks in and Bree sits up straight. I don't want him to have more time to flirt with her. If anything, I want to stay now just to be a giant cock-block.

Unfortunately, my will power doesn't last long, as the doctor pulls back the bandage on Bree's hand and blood squirts out with the timing of her pulse. I feel my stomach clench and I think I'm going to throw up. I start looking around the room for a waste basket as the doctor pulls out the stitching needle and then everything goes black.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

"Wow, you'd think a hockey player would be better with blood…" The doctor laughs as Sid slowly hits the floor.

"Sid?" I lean over the bed and watch him slump like a glob of strawberry jam.

"Don't worry, its pretty common," The doctor assures me and puts the needle down and heads out to the hall to call for help. I watch in shock as a couple of large male nurses, drag him out of the room and get him up onto a bed in the hall.

I lie back in a bit of shock. I am sure he has had plenty of stitches, busted his gorgeous lips open a hundred times. Sure, the only thing he has had this morning is a sip or two of coffee which come to think of it… I left the coffee maker on. And there might be a frying pan on the stove. I am sure I turned it off… maybe not. Oh crap.

"So should we get this done?" The doctor comes back into the room.

"Yeah that would be great… but could you pass me my phone? I should call Sid's mom…" I ask with a smile. I am guessing by the Blackberry on his hip that he doesn't take that 'no cell phone' rule very seriously. He reaches over and passes me my purse which I fumble through and dig out my phone. Good thing for speed dial because as I begin to call, the doctor sticks me with the first stitch. At least this will distract me.

Trina picks up and I explain everything to her. Sure enough she laughs as I tell her that Sid passed out.

"Oh that boy of mine… He can handle his own blood, just nobody else's…"

I asked her to quickly swing by the house and check that the stove is off and the coffee maker too. She laughs at me and teases me for not thinking about that while I was bleeding to death. Silly me. The teasing is light hearted and actually makes me feel like family.

I say goodbye and look down at my hand. The doctor is just finishing the eighth stitch and is about to tie off my hand. Perfect timing.

"Everything good at home?" He smiles up at me and reaches for scissors.

"Well, I guess we'll find out… if the house hasn't burnt down, then yup…" I laugh and not in a flirtatious way, regardless of what Sid thinks. I just think a little bit of blood on the floor would probably seem like less of a problem if Sid's house burnt to the ground.

"Yeah, I guess, there are only two possible outcomes…" He agrees, placing a bandage gingerly over the recent closed skin.

"So, do I have to come back or something?"

"Well they are self-dissolving stitches, so they should be okay, but you should probably go see your family doctor for a check up in a couple of weeks," He instructs me.

"Well I don't really have one of those. I'm not from here, so… should I go to a walk in or something?" I haven't gotten around to getting a regular doctor. For one, I haven't been sick and two, I have a regular doctor, he's just a couple thousand kilometres away."

"You can call this number and I can arrange to have a look at it," He pulls a business card out of his wallet and hands it to me. "I have to inspect my handiwork, after all."

I reach and grab the card. Dr. Matthew Richmond, M.D. Nice name. Mrs. Breanna Richmond. Sounds nice, very proper. Mrs. Breanna Crosby. Whoa what? I shake my head. I did not just go there. It sounds better as Mrs. Bree Crosby, anyway.

"I should go check on my other patient…" He winks at me, and throws out the bloody bandages and cloths he was working on.

"Could you let me know how he is?" I ask with genuine concern as Dr. Richmond walks away.

"Of course, I'll be back in a few," he nods and leaves. I lean back against the pillows again, running the names through my head again. Bree Crosby, hmmm…

-.-

"Well good morning! Must be nice to get a nap in the middle of the day…"

"Mom?" I crack open my eyes and see a large – very large - black woman laughing at me and flicking an IV bag. _NOT_ my mom.

"No sweet cheeks, I ain't your mama," She roars. Nope certainly isn't. "I think your mama's on her way… you're little darlin in the next room called her… such a sweet thing, the docs flipped a coin on who would stitch her up… you should really be in there defending your territory."

"Bree? Where? Is she okay?" I try and lift my head but see stars. Wow. This is ridiculous. I am so getting chirped about this… probably from my own mother.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa sonny… you just lay back, we gonna put an IV in ya' and get ya' some fluids," The nurse pushes me back down and just feeling the weight of her hand on my chest, makes me not want to argue.

"I don't need an IV… I just need some juice and maybe something to eat. I'm fine. Just no food and lots of blood…" I try and convince her.

"Well, I will have to talk to the doc and don't worry about your little darlin', she is good as new," The nurse assures me. Bree is going to chirp me to. Real manly, Sid. Good job. The nurse hangs up the IV bag and saunters out of the room, humming to herself. I look around the room and read all the warning signs on all the doors and equipment. I'm not good at lying down. I'm not really good at being still. Maybe I could just go for a walk… I sit up and feel my stomach cramp. I still haven't eaten. I've usually had two meals and a snack by this time of day – nevermind the residual dehydrating effects of the alcohol from last night. Not that I drank that much but… when you never drink, a little goes a long way. I guess a walk is probably a bad idea. I stare out the door, into the hall and try to get the nurses attention. Maybe she could bring me a magazine or something.

I watch as a number of people scurry by, a couple of nurses pushing hospital beds and EMS guys. Nice to see the old man with the eye injury from the waiting room, finally getting looked at. A women, who by the looks of it is in the midst of giving birth, gets pushed past my room, screaming obscenities at her husband and I decide that I should stop looking. Unfortunately, I don't stop looking soon enough, as I catch the attention of Jason, who is walking by.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I hiss as he steps into my room.

"My girlfriend called and said she had an accident. So I thought that I would come and see her," He explains. "Is that okay? Or do I have to clear that through you?"

"She's not your girlfriend…" I recall her correcting me earlier.

"Oh? I'm sorry… is she yours?" Jason asks. I grit my teeth and face the wall. I can't even stand to look at him right now. "Yeah, didn't think so…"

It's been a long time since I have actually wanted to hurt someone. I don't know what it is about him but he just has the ability to get under my skin. I have to remind myself to not let him bate me into some petty competition. I am not in the mood. I am better then this. "Well she's not in here, so…"

"Yeah I see that…" Jason squeezes the IV bag that fortunately isn't connected to my arm. "What's that like for you, anyway?"

"What's _what _like for me?"

"Me having something you don't…" Jason shrugs smugly.

"Oh grow the fuck up! What are you twelve? Seriously!" I knew that slimy piece of shit was up to something, but this… this is too far. I feel my finger nails digging into my palms and realize how hard my fists are clenched. So much for not letting him bate me.

"Yeah, that's what I thought… its killing you. That's a shame," Jay laughs. "Well then, I guess I'll go pay her a visit… shame about her hand… hope it's not her hand job hand."

"You're a piece of shit! Bree does not deserve to be in the middle of whatever bullshit competition you've got in your head," I scream after him while he walks out of the room.

Fuck this shit! I don't need to be here! I unclip the heart rate monitor, swing my legs out the side of the bed and climb out. I feel a little woozy but I can't just lie here and let Jay go put on his fucking act for Bree. She needs to know the truth!

I head out into the hallway and see Bree standing at the nurse's counter, signing some paperwork. Jay is standing beside her with his hand possessively on her back. What do I do now? I should have thought this through better… I want to march up and punch him but something tells me that wouldn't go over too well…

"No, no, no… Mr. Crosby, you need to be layin down, boy," The big nurse stands up from her chair behind the counter and points for me to head back to my room. Bree turns her head to the side and smiles widely at me. She puts her pen down and heads over to me.

"You heard the woman!" She offers with a smile before wrapping her hands around my neck in a warm hug. God, she feels good. She fits perfectly into my arms, as I have a moment of weakness and let my eyes fall shut momentarily, taking a deep breath and smelling the amazing scent of her hair. It smells like the beach… the beach in the middle of a Canadian winter is very refreshing…

"Where are you going? How's your hand?" I ask as she releases me from the hug.

"I was coming to see you. How are you feeling?" She smiles and puts her good hand on my forehead. What is it with women and checking if I have a fever?

"I'm fine…" I insist and feel my cheeks getting warm. To say I am embarrassed is a huge understatement.

"Your parents just got here and are stopping by the cafeteria to get you some juice and a sandwich… you should really go lay back down…" She instructs me. I go to assure her I am fine again but Jason comes up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist from behind.

"The big tough hockey player…" Jason laughs and glares at me. It's like he is challenging me to say something and I realize this just isn't the right place to get into it. I'll talk to her when I have a chance. He leans in and kisses Bree's neck, not taking his eyes off mine. She giggles shyly, as his dirty stubble tickles her skin, then quickly shrugs him off. "Maybe one day, our wittle' boy here will be able to handle a wittle' blood, eh?"

"Fuck you! Maybe you should keep your fucking mouth shut for a change!" I snap and reach forward to grab his shirt. I'll show him how to be a big, tough hockey player. I'll jersey the little bitch right here!

"Hey!" Bree cuts off my train of thought and steps in between us, forcing me to let go of him. I see the big black nurse round the corner of her work station and head towards us. I would love to see her man handle this scum bag. I would happily make another sizeable donation to the hospital…

"Well you are clearly fine, so… I'm going to head back to the house," Bree explains, as she swings her purse over her shoulder. "Jason will drive me and you can come home with your mom or dad."

"I can take you home! I brought you here," I demand.

"And then you passed out! You are not driving! You shouldn't even be standing up until you've had something to eat!" She instructs me and the nurse nods and folds her arms across her very wide chest.

"I'm f – "

"I know, I know – You think, you're fine!" She rolls her eyes. "I am tired of arguing with you! When your mother gets up here and you aren't lying down, she is going to freak out on you! You're dad is going to go ape. Nobody needs that! The nurses don't need that! The doctors don't need that! I certainly don't need that and you_ know_ somehow, you not doing what you're told, is going to end up being my fault, so just GO LAY DOWN!"

"Okay fine, calm down!" Jeepers. I might actually rather fight with my mom.

"Please, go lay down," she repeats herself with a softened tone. The look in her eye is one of true concern and I feel myself giving in.

"Yeah, don't worry. I've got this one…" Jason offers with a cocky wink. I want to rip his face off because I know what he is implying. Bree turns to him and glares angrily. He raises his hands in defeat and starts walking towards the exit.

"I'll see you at the house," She says softly, turning her attention back to me. "I'll clean up all the blood before you get home… maybe you could bring something home for dinner? Pizza or something? I don't think I'll be able to cook tonight…Sorry."

"Yeah, for sure… don't worry about it. I'll talk to my mom. I'll be home soon," I nod and accept another hug, this one much shorter and I barely get an arm around her before she pushes me away and heads down the corridor, to join Jason. I watch them walk away and can't help but hope that Bree is as smart as I think she is. I need her to see through his act – and soon.


	16. Chapter 16

_*I wasn't going to write this chapter, but thought better of it... let me know what you think! As always, i appreciate all the comments and feedback!_**  
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**Chapter Sixteen**

"Hey, what's this?" Jason asks, pulling Dr. Richmond's card from my back pocket, as we walk into the house. Sam greets us with her favourite chew toy crammed in her mouth. Poor girl has been totally neglected the whole day! I bet she really has to pee…

"That's the doctor's card, the one that stitched up my hand," I shrug, taking the card back, looking at it quickly. I smile and tuck it into my purse, letting Sam run through my legs and out the door.

"He's looking for repeat business? What?" Jason laughs, kicking off his shoes and following me into the house – into the scene of the bloody hand murder. Sid was right - it looks like a crime scene.

"No, he said he'd take a look at my hand in a couple of days, you know, make sure there isn't an infection or something…" I explain, picking up a tea towel that had been used to hold my hand together, and quickly disposing of it into the garbage can. I make a mental note to buy more dish towels.

"You can't just go to the clinic or your doctor or something?" Jay asks, with a skeptical eyebrow raise.

"Um, yeah but he offered to look at it…" I shrug, reaching for some paper towel to wipe down the counter.

"This looks like a personal card?"

"Um, so… what are you getting at?" I can't believe we are still talking about this.

"I saw the way he was flirting with you…" A part of me wants to say, _'You should have seen when he was in my hospital room, stitching me up…'_ but I think better of it. I don't want to have to admit I was flirting back. Sid was right, Jason doesn't exactly have high career aspirations….

"Oh please…" I just roll my eyes and brush off his accusations.

"No, Bree! This is ridiculous…" Jason slams his hand down on the counter in anger. I know this isn't the right moment but I'm going to have to tell him that he actually just slammed his hand into a puddle of my blood.

"He was just being nice, offering to take a look, it was nothing…" I explain but I feel like I am talking to a brick wall. He has clearly already formed his opinion of the doctor, and quite frankly, I don't care. "Besides, I'm not going to pass up free medical advice…"

"Wow, he must be just the _nicest_ guy on earth. Ten years in medical school to give out _free_ medical advice! Sure why not right?" He snarls sarcastically, flinging his hands in the air. I can see the blood smeared onto his hand but right now, I kinda want to rub it in his face.

"What is your problem?" I snap.

"My problem? I don't like guys asking out my girlfriend, even if she is too naïve to realize its happening…"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Back this shit train up. "First of all, I am _not_ naïve, thank you. Second of all, girlfriend?"

"Yeah, girlfriend!"

"That is not something we have discussed," I say slowly. I actually thought that we had a fairly good unspoken understanding. Until Sid got here and he started acting all weird, that is. After today in the hospital, I'm not actually sure I know who this guy is.

"Are you fucking kidding me? I see you every day! What did you think this was?"

"I see _Troy_ everyday… doesn't mean he's my boyfriend…" Sounds logical to me.

"Troy's a douche," He hisses in respond and I give him my best _'don't go there'_ stare down_._ I am the only one allowed to call Troy names!

"I'm just saying… by definition that does not make me your girlfriend," I try and explain my statement.

"I shell out cash every time we go out! You think I would waste that kinda money on anybody?" That, right there, is a perfect example of something you say inside your head, but probably not out loud… not if you ever want to get laid.

"Wow. Nice. I offer to pay all the time…." I offer in shock, not really sure how one should respond to that.

"I left work today, in the middle of the day, to come and see you at the hospital, to drive you home, to help take care of you! I help you with everything around here! I come in the middle of a snowstorm to help you with your furnace –" Okay, I get it. You can stop now… but he just keeps on going, listing basically every time he ever offered me help. If I had known he was going to throw them back in my face, I wouldn't have asked.

"OKAY! Enough!" I yell to cut him off. I have to take a break and take a few steps away from the kitchen to calm myself. I walk to the front door then turn around, collect myself and head back in. Jason is just standing there staring at me.

"I didn't say you weren't a great friend, we just never went to that – level," I say softly, trying to be diplomatic.

"Because you won't let me _fucking_ touch you! I just figured you had issues, or something," Jason clearly had not understood the point of my little walk, as he didn't cool down one bit. Which really just makes me mad again.

"Issues? What like _daddy_ issues? Is that what you thought? Did it occur to you that maybe I had issues _with you_? No, clearly something must just be wrong with me!" I scream.

"What you mean issues with me? What have I done?" He demands.

"I dunno, like, fighting with a guy in the hospital today?" That's a pretty good example.

"He started it…"

"I doubt that!"

"Whatever! You can't blame _today_ on you being a prude for the last _month_!"

"Maybe I don't trust _you_. Maybe I have trust issues," Like I don't trust guys who call me a prude. Crazy.

"I haven't done a thing to give you a reason not to trust me," Jason protests. I can't say he doesn't have a point, but I just get a bad feeling about him. Maybe, I am just being paranoid. Maybe what everyone has told me about the east coast is true. Maybe the people here, including the men, are different. Nicer. Better somehow, then the guys back home. Maybe I am just jaded. I just need to be honest. Here it goes…

"Sometimes I don't think that you are here, with me, to be _with me_. I think that maybe this is someway of dealing with your issues with Sidney, whatever those are…If you want to be here to be closer to him, or like him, or – I dunno, maybe you have issues - "

"Shut up! I don't have any issues!"

"You spend a lot of time putting him down and telling me embarrassing stories about him to make yourself look good –"

"I don't do it to make myself look good. I do it because that's what most people ask me about. I don't even do it on purpose. I'm just conditioned to it I guess," Jason explains and I want to believe him. I really do.

"When we were younger, the media would be around, always asking about Sid, and the guy who could come up with the best story got on the news and then maybe we'd get 15 seconds of fame, just from being around him," Jason continued. "Shit, when I say it that way, it really does sound pathetic doesn't it?"

"Yeah, a bit…" I nod sympathetically. He laughs at himself and takes a couple steps closer to me.

"Listen, the short version is, I really like you. I don't normally put this much effort into a girl and clearly, I'm not very good at it. I'd really like it if, ya know, maybe, you could give me a chance to be… your boyfriend…" He reaches out and grabs my hands in his.

"I guess… I could look into it a bit further…" I smile and chew on my bottom lip.

"Yeah?" Jay asks suggestively, stepping in closer and lowering his head down to mine, so his lips were within inches of mine. Surprisingly, his breath wasn't that bad, after a long day. Mine, however, was probably pretty rough. Oh well… I lean forward and push my lips to his, for what be the most perfect moment, except one thing.

"Mmm… yeah… but before I forget, you have blood all over your hand…"

"Wow… thanks… that's sexy huh?" Jason looks at his hand laughing then quickly beelines to the sink and begins scrubbing.

"Oooo baby, I've never wanted you more!" While he is scrubbing his hands, I quickly run to the door and let Sam in. She is happier then a pig in shit playing out in the snow and could stay out all day but it's really cold and I worry about her poor little toes. She runs through the house like a maniac, jumping on Jason, then runs laps around the kitchen island before settling on the couch and plopping down in her spot.

"Come here you," Jay looks back at me and quickly rubs his wet hands on his pants. He practically leaps to my side, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me up to his lips again. I can feel his hands on my back, as his lips press against mine, and for the first time – I want him. I don't know if its from the adrenaline of the fight or the accident or what… but damn. It's been a while since I've been horny and even longer since I've gotten any – I don't even want to think about the last time, it's been so long!

I let my lips part and feel his tongue slip in between my teeth, seeking eagerly - but not too eagerly, which is important - for mine. His hands slip under the back of my shirt and sweep along the waist band of my jeans. A part of me that has been dead for a long time, is suddenly awake and every inch of me is alive again. And it feels _great_.

"Shit Bree… don't get me all worked up and shut me down again… I can't do it," Jay whispers into my ear, as he drags his tongue down the outside of my ear.

"My bedroom is up the stairs, down the hall, on the left…" I purr back, tilting my head to the side as I can feel him kiss down my neck.

"Oh thank god…" I hear him moan as he puts his hands under my ass and lifts me up. I wrap my legs around his waist and arms around his neck, careful with my hand, as he stumbles towards the stair case, his lips still trying to explore mine.

He may not be in the NHL but he still has the build of a hockey player and I can feel the strength in his shoulders, as he carries me effortlessly to my bed. As he lays me down against my pillows, I have the strangest feeling of déjà vu. I don't know why, we've certainly never done this…

"Oh my god! The dream!" I practically yell, sitting bolt upright on the bed.

"What?" Jason sits up panting.

"I'm sorry… it's nothing… just… just continue on…" I say, flopping back on the bed. Jason does exactly what he was instructed to do and slides back on top. Everything about this scene is exactly the same as my dream, the one that's been keeping me awake at night… except one thing… in the dream, its not Jason.

-.-

"Mom, I'm fine!" I promise her for what seems like the hundredth time. "I'm just going to go inside and sit on the couch. Bree is inside, she'll make sure I take it easy. You don't need to come in…"

"Well too bad! I want to make sure she is okay too, ya know," Mom pushes me aside and heads on into the house. I just figured Bree didn't need my mom giving her lectures about knife safety, like some home ec student. Sam greets us happily, ready to play but I'm exhausted and not really in the mood to throw her ball for hours. Once is just never enough for her.

"Bree darling, we brought dinner!" She calls as she walks into the kitchen. I follow her and look around.

"Bree?" I call up the stairs and listen for a response. But the sound I hear, certainly isn't what I was expecting.

"What was that noise?" My mom asks innocently. I just look at her and feel my cheeks heating up, not so much from embarrassment as anger. Not that listening to sex noises with your mom isn't embarrassing but… there isn't room for anger and another emotion in my head at the same time.

"Oh… oh my," she responds to her own question, as the realization sets in. "Well… good for her…"

I watch, feeling nauseous, as my mom unpacks the take-out food we picked up on the way home. I can't even imagine eating right now. Every time I here Bree's voice, it's like being stabbed in the chest.

"Mom… I just… I'm going to go for a walk… I'll take Sam for a quick stroll…"

"Sidney! Your foot and it's freezing out!" She protests.

"I can't listen to this…" I hang my head in shame and head to the door, grabbing Sam's leash, as she happily bounds around my feet. At least one of us is excited about this.

-.-

"Hey, what are you doing?" Bree pops her head into my bedroom. I look over my shoulder and catch a quick glance at her. She looks happy. I hate it. When I got back from my walk, my foot was killing me but at least Jason was gone. Replace one pain with another. I can handle physical pain alot better then whatever this other pain is. Bree was watching TV, eating the Chinese take-out that we had brought home. She asked me where I went but I didn't answer. I just went straight to my room and pouted like a four year old sent to bed without dinner.

"Packing," I shrug. I really don't want to talk to her right now.

"Already?" She laughs. "Your flight isn't for days yet!"

"I'm leaving in the morning," I explain, shoving another sweater angrily into my suitcase.

"What? Why?" She asks in shock. I understand the shock, its not like me to change plans. I hate change. I just can't be here with her. I can't look her in the eyes.

"I just, um, think its time for me to get back to Pittsburgh…" And far away from you.

"But your sister comes home the day after tomorrow. I thought you wanted to see her?" Shit. I really did but I just can't be here.

"Yeah, well… she'll understand." She's gonna be pissed at me.

"Will she?" Bree asks. Wow! I certainly wasn't expecting a guilt trip from her. Fuck. She fucks Jason, in _MY_ fucking house, and then she guilt trips me! This girl is a piece of work.

"I'll call her okay!" I snap.

"Okay, fine… I know she was looking forward to seeing you, is all. I didn't mean to make you mad."

"It's fine." I pick up another sweater and throw it at the suitcase.

"Do you need help? Did you arrange a flight? I could -"

"No, I already arranged it and I'm fine. I don't need your help," I cut her off. I just want her to leave me alone.

"Do you need a ride to the airport in the morning?"

"No, my parents are taking me…" Stop being sweet!

"Is something that matter?" She asks softly, placing her hand on mine, as I reach for a pair of jeans.

YES! You are sleeping with an asshole! He's lying to you and he's going to hurt you! "No, nothing… I'm fine, everything is fine."

"Oh, okay… dinner is really good, you should really come have some…"

"I will. Thanks," I offer genuinely, looking up into her eyes. God damnit, I miss her already...


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

**- Current - **

Sidney Crosby is making me breakfast. This is surreal. To be fair, an omelette might be the only thing he knows how to make and they aren't very good, usually a little too giggly in the middle because he gets impatient or bored and always thinks they are done before they are. But he is always proud of them and I don't have the heart to tell him they suck. I'm in charge of toast - so at least it won't be burnt. And coffee… so it will be drinkable. What would this boy do without me?

"You know what I don't understand…" I comment mindlessly while I reach for the second piece of toast out of the toaster and spread margarine across it. "You're mom's role in all this…"

"What do you mean?" Sid asks, not turning his attention from the frying pan for even a second.

"You said she knew how you felt… and she told you not to tell me? I don't understand that…" I spent a lot of time thinking about a lot of things last night and Trina seemed to occupy a lot of time.

"She just wanted to make sure that – "

"That her superstar son didn't settle for a nobody…" I cut him off. Of course he is going to give me some PC answer and I don't have the patience to hear it.

"Bree! She's not like that at all!" Sid seems shocked that I could even suggest such a thing. I think we all know the truth.

"Really? She used to get so excited when there was a rumour in the papers that you were seeing someone like Taylor Swift or Miley Cyrus…" I roll my eyes, remembering Trina's pleasure whenever she got asked about Sid's love life.

"The media only ever reported it when there was a big name attached. She just wanted me to be seeing someone! She didn't care who it was," He insisted.

"If that's true, then wouldn't she be happy if you wanted to be with me?" I ask point blank. Seems logical to me.

"Bree, you are being ridiculous!"

"She doesn't think I am good enough for you…" Maybe she's right. I've seen the girls that Sid has been interested in and I am nothing like them. I'm not mad about it because I totally get it.

"No! That's not it at all! She thinks you are perfect for me! She already loves you like a part of the family, you know that! She just didn't want me to jump into something with you and risk it not working out. She wanted me to take my time and make sure you were ready… and make this work for real and for the right reasons…"

"The right reasons? I don't understand…"

"Yeah… the right reasons, not just out of desperation to keep you in my life! She was a voice of reason this summer, believe me! I wanted to ask you to marry me for fuck sakes! Could you image? Christ, you freaked out last night when you found out I how I felt about you, can you imagine how you would have reacted if now I was down on one knee?"

I couldn't help but chuckle to myself. Quite frankly, I would have shit a mother fucking brick.

"Am I right? Or am I right?" Sid asked knowingly with his hands on his hips.

"Still… I think I better talk to her… make sure she is okay with it," I admit. I know that Trina could easily become a huge obstacle for us. I have heard her plot about how to break up her son's relationships if he ever had the nerve to bring home someone she didn't approve of.

"She'll be happy, I promise!" Sid assured me with a kiss before reaching over and plopping an omelette onto a plate and passing it to me.

'_Yeah…we'll see_,' I can't help but think to myself as I cut into my eggs and hope for the best.

-.-

So, I am standing and waiting at the domestic arrival gate at the lovely Pittsburgh airport. Another glamorous part of my life. I seem to spend a lot of time here, as I look around and realize that some of the airport staff have begun to look familiar. Trina and Troy are coming in today for an early Canadian thanksgiving dinner. It's a team tradition to get everyone together for a feast as close to the date as possible. Normally the dinner is held at the Lemieux's but not this year. It was going to be Sid's first dinner party in his new house. Which really meant it was my first attempt at planning a dinner party for Sid. A day ago, if I screwed it up, I didn't really care. Sid could blame it on his inexperienced assistant and all would be forgotten and laughed about. Someone could make a joke about how it's hard to get good help these days and it would be done.

For some reason, now I feel like I have to prove myself. I begged Sid to not tell his parents about us until after the dinner but he refused, not wanting to hide anything from his parents. He also doubted that Vero, Marc and Max would be able to keep the cat in the bag and since they were all coming to dinner, he thought it would be better to just bite the bullet and deal with it now.

He did offer to tell them himself though. That was a shock. I thought he would be '_busy_' and conveniently just add that to my list, along with everything else that went along with tonight's dinner.

His parent's flight landed on time and they excitedly filled me in on the details of Taylor's acclimatization to life at Shattuck-St. Mary's on our drive back to the house. I am so excited for her but a little sad to not be there with her, supporting her like I have been for so long now. I know she is going to do great things.

I pull up to the house and am happy to see Sid's car in the drive way. He promised that he would be back early from practice to talk to his parents and help set up for dinner. I didn't honestly believe that he would but I guess he didn't want to piss me off in the first day of our relationship. This might work out to my benefit. I wonder what else I could get him to do today… drop off his own dry cleaning? Probably not worth it… he'd probably get lost on the way there and be gone for hours. I'll keep thinking.

Trina and Troy pull their suitcases out of the trunk and head into the house. I debate getting back into my car and driving far, far away. I think Sid wants to dump the '_good news'_ on his parents right away and I don't really want to be there for it. He seems so much more optimistic about it then I am. I know they are his parents and everything but I know them pretty well and I just can't see me getting the loving embrace.

I pull out my Blackberry and scroll through the list of emails, as I walk into the house, trying to look really busy, so maybe I can sit this one out. It's a tactic I use on a regular basis to get me out of conversations I don't want to have. I doubt it will work this time but it's worth a shot.

"So…" Sid looks at me with a big smile, after he greets his parents. I knew I should have avoided eye contact... Oh crap, he's really going to tell them. Really? Here in the entrance way? There are so many sharp things to hit when Trina passes out cold, as I look around at the table edges and glass vase. I doubt the marble floor would be that forgiving.

"Maybe we could go in the living room?" I suggest. Having Trina sitting is probably the best bet.

Funny how worried I am about her reaction and I haven't thought about Troy at all. I guess, if he's happy that's great but if he's pissed off… even better! The man has been terrorizing me for years, this would be great payback! Cause him some stress for once! I know that's not really the way to think but it makes me smile.

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea…" Sid nods and then tries to lead his parents into the other room but Trina digs in her heels.

"Go in the living room for what, Sidney?" Trina asks. She is a smart woman. She knows something is up, as she shoots me a look of concern.

"Come in and find out," He puts his hand on her back and she turns and frowns at me. How is this my fault already?

"What's going on son?" Troy asks in his very fatherly tone, as he lowers himself to the couch. He shifts uncomfortably and tries to wiggle himself into a comfortable spot. "This damn thing is so uncomfortable."

'_That's right… it's not a lazy boy,_' I think as I roll my eyes. I picked out that couch. It isn't supposed to be comfortable. It's supposed to be pretty. And it is. It goes with the rest of the formal décor in this room. Heaven forbid there be something in the house that he couldn't nap on.

"Um, well, I don't think that this will come as a surprise to either of you but…" Sidney steps in beside me and takes my hand. "But Bree and I have… decided to take our friendship to the next level."

He's so diplomatic. I don't know exactly what I was expecting but it certainly wasn't '_I've decided to start fucking her now._' Although that would have been pretty funny…

Now is clearly not a time for jokes, as I watch Troy look over at Trina and exchange looks. I am usually pretty good at reading the expressions of the Crosby's but not this time. Sid squeezes my hand to comfort me, as I guess he can tell I'm nervous.

"Well, son, Bree, we are happy for you and I couldn't think of anyone better to keep Sidney here in line," Troy stands and gives me an awkward hug. I look over his shoulder and watch as Trina also rises from the couch.

"After all, you've been keeping me in line for some time now… I guess you can consider it practice," He continues, as he moves from me to Sid, embracing his son in a big bear hug. Trina doesn't look up but instead slowly slips past the boys and out of the room. Fuck.

"You can thank me later!" Troy claps his big paw down on my shoulder, still smiling and laughing at his own string of jokes. Sid seems pleased with himself, totally oblivious to his mom's disappearance. "You just couldn't resist the old Crosby charm could you?"

"Something like that…" I muse. Sid's personality is much more like his mother's, thank god! "I actually just _really_ like his butt…"

Troy laughs, as I knew he would. That's about the limit I can get away with in making fun of Sid to Troy's face.

"See, I told you, it wouldn't be a problem," Sid kisses my cheek and smiles.

"Oh yeah?" I ask him sarcastically. "Your mom left, hey?"

"What?" Sid suddenly realized, looking behind me to the empty couch.

"Don't mean to say I told you so…"

-.-

"Trina? Are you okay?" I ask as I step into the library. She is sitting in one of the large leather chairs, holding a brandy glass, with only a small amount of the liquid left in the bottom of the glass. "We've been looking for you."

"Oh yes, darling… I'm fine," She smiles calmly at me. It's creepy calm. Fake calm.

"I'm sorry if Sid and I being together isn't what you had planned…"

"Well, I can't exactly say it's a shock, can I? He has had quiet a thing for you for some time now…" She admits, pulling her glass up to her lips and slowly tipping it backwards.

"Yeah, he mentioned that…"

"I just think this is really bad timing… beginning of the season and all… with the new arena and the new house. It's a lot of changes for a guy who doesn't deal with changes very well. And… well, the team isn't doing so good, is it? Marc is really suffering out there and really needs Sid's support… then all the HBO stuff is going to start and God knows you don't want to be involved in that…right?"

I just nod. What am I supposed to say? Of course she is right but it's a little late for that…

"Maybe you two could just wait… put things on hold… just until summer… then see what happens…" She offers.

"Yeah… I don't think Sid would go for that…" I can't help but laugh to myself as I imagine presenting this idea to him. '_Yeah, remember that amazing sex we just had? Let's not do it again until summer…k?'_

"Well that's just my two cents…" She stares over at me with that sickeningly sweet smile. Is she possessed?

"I think things have already started down a path and I think we just wanted you to be aware of what was going on, so you didn't have to hear it from someone else…" I try my hand at Sid's diplomacy.

"And it's appreciated. I think one thing we can all agree on is that this needs to be kept exceptionally private," Trina added. I better not mention who all knows already. "Have you contacted Pat and Sid's publicist? They should both be aware, so they can prepare if this should get out. I think we both know that Sid having a girlfriend has the potential of becoming a very big deal."

"Yup." Drive home that point would ya, Trina? I am _very_ aware of that little detail, as it seems to occupy every second thought in my head.

"Oh… I just hope the team is on a winning streak when the media eventually finds out. For your sake mostly. You don't want to get blamed for them losing, do you? And the media will find out darling, it's just a matter of time," Trina continues to smile. That kinda felt like a veiled threat. This is not going well…

"I'll add that to the list of things for Sid to do today," I say through a clenched jaw. Diplomacy is failing me… I need Sid right now.

"Oh, it is so convenient that you are his _assistant_. You can actually schedule yourself time to be with him. I always wondered how he would ever fit in time to date…" Another little blow from Trina. Now I get to see how she _really _feels. Joy… I am just his assistant in her eyes.

"I am his assistant because you told him that's what I should be," I know I shouldn't have said anything but I can't take it. At least I got it out with a smile.

"You are his assistant, because that's all you _should_ be," Trina hissed. BAM! Right to the heart. At least the fake smile is gone.

"Well jeez Trina, why don't you tell me how you really feel?" I snap. "I didn't realize I was so low in your standings! That the idea of me being with your precious son was so awful to you! All that shit about being practically part of the family, what was that? Just more East Coast hospitality?"

"You are getting my meaning all wrong…" I listen while Trina tries to explain her poor word choice but my ego is already hurt. "I didn't mean it to sound the way it came out… I just… I don't think that you can handle the pressure of what is going to come."

"Spare me the shit Trina. I have put up with a lot over the years, I deserve some bloody respect!"

"Yes, you have been_ very_ good at dealing with the problems in Cole Harbour but this isn't Cole Harbour… this is Pittsburgh. You should know by now that the media is all around him, all the time." No shit. Does she even understand my job? Of course I know the media is around him all the time.

"I know that… I understand," I try and assure her.

"No Bree, you don't understand. God knows Troy and I weren't prepared when we first dealt with it and we are his parents, we _had_ to deal with it. We were the parents of the saviour of hockey in Pittsburgh. We got the bloody royal treatment. You aren't going to get that treatment. They are going to tear you apart."

"I'll be fine." I don't know now if I am trying to convince her or myself. This woman is good.

"No, I don't think you will. I don't think you can handle it and I don't want to see my son get hurt in the process," Trina shook her head. "The whole point of you coming here with him was to get used to it. To ease you in, develop some relationships, get to know the ups and downs of his season. For you to see what life with him is really like…it's not all roses."

Trina reached over to me and brushes a tear from my cheek, that I hadn't even realized had fallen.

"Sid can't see it. He is so in love with you, he can't see that it's going to be hard. He thinks he can take on the whole world by himself," Trina continues, as if I haven't heard enough. "But he has a whole team with him. You are on your own."

Trina stands up and puts her hand on my shoulder and pauses for a moment. "I hope that I'm wrong. I really do."

I feel like my heart was just torn out, as I watch her slowly leave the room.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

"Hi, excuse me, what's your name again?" Erica Johnson comes up to me.

"It's Bree," I respond with a bitter smile. We have met dozens of times. She knows my fucking name.

"Like the cheese?" She laughs.

"Just like the cheese…" What I want to say is _'like the smelly ass cheese in your crotch'_ but think better of it…

"That's so cute… listen, could you be a dear and get me a refill on my martini? 2 olives? Thanks so much," She hands me an empty martini glass and fans me away with the back of her hand.

For real? Like that's going to happen! I smile and continue on my path to the kitchen. I place the empty glass on the counter with the other dirty glasses and check in with the chef. She clearly doesn't need another drink and rumour has it, she is pregnant, so I can justify being a bitch. I'm just looking out for Brent's unborn child really.

Everything seems to be ready to go. I think everyone is here, or at least I hope so. It would be hard to imagine anymore people cramming into the space. I mean, this is a huge freakin house but I think there are like 75 people here. The kids are all downstairs and have their own food and some hired babysitters to entertain them. Every now and then a couple of kids go darting through the halls but I haven't seen too much of them, so potentially the babysitters will be getting a generous bonus added to their fees tonight. Anyone who can contain Jackson Cooke in an enclosed space deserves some extra spending money.

"So? What happened? I have been calling and texting _all_ day!" Veronique comes up to me and wraps her skinny hands around my forearms. I'm trapped.

"Um, well…" I shrug shyly but can feel a little girl smile creeping across my face, along with a deep crimson to my cheeks.

"Oh my god, you guys totally did it, didn't you?" Vero seems more excited then she should be. I look around, desperately hoping that no one heard her.

"Shh…" I instruct. This is not the time or place to have this conversation. Trina has been giving me the evil eye all night and the last thing I need her to overhear is the details of our hook up.

"That is so hot," She fans herself.

"We just want to keep in on the DL right now. You guys and Sid's parents are the only ones that know…" Vero's facial expression of terror that Sid's parents know summarizes everything I am feeling and I give to a stressed nod. "We really want to keep it that way for awhile…promise me that you won't spread this?"

"Of course not… on one condition," She offers in a very serious tone. "You tell me_ every _freakin' detail!"

"V!"

"What? Marc has cut me off until he gets some wins under him… and quite frankly, I am horny as hell!" I burst out laughing but she remains dead serious. I can imagine Marc pushing Vero off him like a humping Chihuahua at a cocktail party.

"Okay, it's a deal but not here. We'll have lunch this week. Something tells me I am going to need a cheesecake break," I laugh and hug her. I hope that I can trust her. I think I am really going to need a friend in the next couple weeks.

"Excuse me? Where's my drink?" I hear behind me, as a not so happy Erica taps me on the shoulder.

"I thought I gave it to you, hmm…" I shrug. "Well the bar is right over there, I guess you can get it yourself…"

I turn around and put my hand over my mouth to contain the laughter and pull Vero away. I can still feel Erica's eyes on me as she stands in her spot in shock and horror. I'm sure she is thinking, _'who the fuck is this woman and what makes her think she can treat me like that?_' But i don't care. When Sid and I are ready to _'out'_ our relationship, I will get such pleasure in the awkward ass kissing that will begin. A lot of these women have been far from nice to me over the years and there is an un-written code about how to treat the captain's girlfriend – a sort of hierarchy, if you will. I will go from the bottom of their social standings, where I am invisible and have to get them drinks, to having them grovel for me to attend their charity functions and kiss their babies. Erica can take my place at the bottom of the ladder, I decide. I guess she'll have to learn my name.

"Hey," Sid smiles as we practically crash into him.

"Hey!" I have to choke back my laughter. He gives Vero and I a questioning look and I wave it off. He does _not_ want to know what we find funny - because he probably won't think it's funny. Boys!

"I was just wondering if everything is good to go? Can we start this thing?" He asks, looking around the busy kitchen, at all the trays of food and chafing dishes, just ready to be placed on the buffet tables that have been set up.

"Oh yeah, everything is good. I just need to give the chef the heads up," I nod and gesture to the large man, standing over the stove.

"Okay great, I'm just going to make a little toast. I'd like you to be out there with me," He reaches for my hand.

"Sid!" I whisper loudly, pulling my hand away. I see Vero watch with a raised eyebrow and I know that if she is shocked by his gesture, everyone else will be too. "We talked about this…"

"They are my teammates, Bree. They aren't going to say anything…" Sid rolls his eyes

"It is not the boys you have to worry about," Vero interjects. She's right. I know Sid doesn't see it. Most guys don't understand how girls work, especially not rich ones with nothing else to do but gossip.

"Relax, would you? It's Thanksgiving! Time to be thankful for everything we have," He lectures us.

"Stick to that for your little speech then would you?" I warn.

"I will," Sid agrees and heads into the living room where most people have gathered. I exchange looks of panic with Vero and she follows me into the other room with him.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I just want to make a little toast," Sid gets everyone's attention. It doesn't take long for everyone to turn and look at him. He flashes me a little smile as I step up beside him. I feel Vero's hand on shoulder and realize I am holding my breath.

"Don't worry. He won't do anything stupid…" Vero whispers in my ear and then takes a couple steps away to join her boyfriend.

"I, um, first of all want to thank you all for being here tonight and giving us the opportunity to celebrate Thanksgiving together. I think we can all be thankful for a lot of things and what we have accomplished as a team and its great that we can get together like this and do that." Okay so far so good. Keeping to the script. I can be thankful for that.

"I want to thank the people who actually made our food tonight, wherever you are in this crowd. I think you can all be thankful for me not cooking," Nice touch. Everyone laughs and gives the kitchen crew a much needed round of applause. We haven't eaten anything yet, but the drinks get an A+.

"And lastly, I want to make a special thank you to Bree," I hear my name and panic. "Because without her, there probably wouldn't be plates, or forks, or cups, or drinks because all I did remember was that we needed food… so, thank you for knowing me so well and… I couldn't do it without you…" Please stop. Just stop there. "And I… I am so happy you are a part of my life…" That was a little too far but nobody seems to notice – thank God! I shoot him a warning look but he ignores me and wraps up his speech.

"Cheers everyone!" Yes! It's done! No damage done! Sid lifts his glass and everyone toasts but Sid keeps his eyes glued to mine. He puts his hand on my cheek and before I know it, he has his lips pressed to mine. Fuck. I can practically see everyone staring. So much for '_nothing stupid_'.

-.-

I know she said not to do anything but she's just paranoid. Nobody in this room is going to say anything to her. And if they do, it will just be that they are happy for us. It's a non issue. Everyone is just happy to eat, really. After the toast, the only one who made any odd look at me at all was Nathalie – but I think it was just one of shock. I have been swearing up and down the wall for years that there was no one special in my life, so I can imagine the surprise of my PDA.

-.-

Every single person in the room was staring at us with their jaws hanging open - and Sid thought it was '_no big deal_'! No big deal, my ass! The boys all snapped out of it quicker then the girls but Sid seemed absolutely oblivious. Shocker! I couldn't get out of the room fast enough and then did everything in my power to stay out of sight. I ran down to check on the kids and checked all the bathrooms to make sure we were good on toilet paper. That is often a forgotten element of entertaining but it shouldn't be. Toilet paper is very important. Too bad we didn't have more bathrooms, as I soon ran out of rooms to check. I had to make my way into the main rooms where everyone was mingling and eating and being merry. My plan was just to keep my head down and made sure everyone had drinks and nothing was running low – then check toilet paper again.

"So… you and Sidney? When did that start?" Michelle walks up to my side, with a full glass of champagne in her clutches. I don't think I've seen her without a drink in her hands yet tonight. That's not surprising.

I look over at her and notice Erica, my new best friend, standing sheepishly by her side.

"Um… recently…" I offer with a shrug.

"That's a big social climb for you isn't it?" She laughs and takes a sip from her glass.

And it begins. Ten point two seconds into the first period and I have taken my first hit.

"From nobody to Crosby's girlfriend?" Erica raised an eyebrow with a smirk on her face before turning to Michelle. "I didn't even know her name at the beginning of the night!"

The women laugh. Hahaha. Soooo funny. Bitch.

"Actually, we've met several times but I hear alcohol can affect your memory… Maybe you shouldn't have had so much to drink?" I offer. My snarky comment seems to have had an affect, as she just stands with her mouth hanging open.

"That's okay Erica, she's pretty forgettable and I wouldn't worry about learning too much about her, I doubt she will be around long," Michelle soothes her friend. "You know, you'd think with all the girls throwing themselves at him, Sid would pick someone more… exciting."

"I guess he sees how much shit his teammates deal with when they get involved with someone more … _exciting_," I retort with a shrug. Everyone knows the drama that followed Michelle Cooke and her family to Pittsburgh. They may not know my name but I know all their gossip – and some gossip that they don't even know about themselves…

"Listen you little –" Michelle steps in closer to me and I feel my shoulders square up and back straighten in preparation for the attack.

"That's enough ladies…" I hear my saviour coming up behind me, with her firm, warning tone. You can still hear the faintest French accent in her voice when Nathalie talks firmly – which if you ask me, makes it even scarier. I, of course, have only heard this voice directed at her children but am very relieved to hear it right now - and not directed at me…

"Nathalie, we were just welcoming the latest addition to the Players Wives and Girlfriends Association. A friendly conversation," Michelle smiles insincerely.

"Well it's very nice of you to welcome her in such a kind manner but I think Bree is needed in the other room," Nathalie breathed, keeping her calm smile plastered across her face. I feel her place her hand on my center of my back and push me towards the other room. I feel my feet begin to move but I am still in a little awe of this woman's ability to control the others. I have got to learn that!

"Thank you for getting me out of there…" I offer over my shoulder. I wonder if she can hear the relief in my voice?

"If you are going to date Sidney, you are going to have to learn to do that on your own… and quick." She warns me.

"We just…" I pause as I debate how to word our relationship status. It's not like we went on a date so I can't say 'started dating'. She's is pretty strictly catholic, so I can't say _'started fucking'_ or '_started sleeping together'_, which is really all that we have done. It's a pretty odd situation to describe. "We just, _expanded our relationship_, recently – last night, recently – so… I haven't had time to hone that skill, as of yet… I asked him not to say - or do - anything about us today, in front of everyone… but…"

"Well, what's done is done and now, all you can do is deal with the ramifications…" Nathalie nodded knowingly. "You'll need to learn to bite your tongue but at the same time exude a presence that says '_Don't mess with me'_. It will come with time - which you don't have, so you'll have to fake it – and confidence, which I know that you do have."

I smile shyly. Nathalie is intimidating. I doubt any woman in this room would have the balls to say anything bad about her. Everyone stands up straighter and listens when she talks. To have her saying nice things about me, is a confidence boost in and of itself. To have her on my side, is huge.

"Let's have lunch, maybe tomorrow? I can help you learn to deal those women," Nathalie asks, as we emerge into the den where a group of friendly faces are standing. Marc and Sid are at the side of the room laughing with some of the single guys.

"Tomorrow… um… I'm not sure if I have time…" I have a hundred things to do but… technically, I quit last night…

"Well you are going to have to learn to make time for you or you'll loose yourself and you might as well start now," Nathalie warned in a warm tone. "Trust me on this one…"

I nod in acceptance.

"All you need to remember right now, to help get through the rest of the night, is that you wouldn't be here, if you didn't belong here. Sid _picked you_ to be here with him. And that it doesn't matter how you got here, you're here now. None of those women can take that away from you," Nathalie assured me. It's like she knows exactly what to say, all the time. It's magic.

I look over and see Sid smiling at me from across the room and can't help but smile back - even though I am still pretty upset with him for the blatant PDA earlier. But Nathalie is right. It's true. He did pick me. He has had several options. But he picked me. That means something.

"I'll call you tomorrow morning," Nathalie squeezes my shoulders. "Enjoy the rest of your evening. You've done an amazing job here."

"Thank you," I offer to her sincerely. She smiles and turns towards the hall, where Vero is making her way towards me.

"Oh my God! I saw you in the other room but couldn't get across the crowd! I'm so sorry!" She wraps her arms around me in an apologetic hug.

"It's okay…" I assure her, still watching Nathalie make her way down the hallway.

"What did Bitch and Bitchier want? I was so worried that they were saying nasty things to you!" Vero exclaims.

"They just wanted to remind me of where I stand…"

She makes a pained face and shakes her head sympathetically. Vero was in much the same situation as Nathalie, they both came to Pittsburgh with their boys. They never had to be 'introduced', they were just always there, part of the package deal. So as much as they want to help, they just can't understand. "And Nathalie? What did she say?"

"Just to remind me of where I now _actually_ stand…" I nod.

"You mean at the top of the world?" Vero laughs, flinging her arms up in the air. She is over the top hilarious.

"Something like that," I laugh. "I am starving! Let's get something to eat!"

-.-

"You just don't get it…" I shake my head. Everyone is gone and there is a huge mess in pretty much every room of the house. I walk around with a large green garbage bag collecting garbage and collecting plates. At least we didn't run out of toilet paper.

I pretty much avoided Sid for the rest of the evening - in turn, avoiding most of the questions about our relationship from our curious guests. Apparently he was looking for me but Vero and I sat out on the stoop on the back deck, giggling like little girls. I told him that I was hiding and that I was mad at him for bringing our relationship up tonight – which is true - but in actuality, Vero and I were outside making up a list of come backs, should I get into another situation with Michelle or any of the other nasty players wives. Most of them – no 99.9% of them – I would never, in a million years, have the balls to use, but it was fun none the less!

"Then maybe you aren't doing a very good job of explaining it to me?" He asks. I tried to explain that it was better that I stayed out of the way. Out of sight, out of mind. I told him that I didn't want to get into an awkward situation but didn't want to say _another_ awkward situation because then I would have to describe the first one and then he would just get upset and I am really tired…

"You're a boy. You just don't know how these women tick," I shrug.

"Well quite frankly, I only care how you tick," He takes the pile of plates out of my hands and sets them down on the buffet table behind him. Then he pulls the garbage bag out of my other hand and stops me from reaching for a napkin on the floor behind him by grabbing my wrists and pulling them up to his chest. I try to struggle away, as the napkin is right behind his foot and it's bugging the hell out of me but he doesn't let me struggle for long, instead tightening his grasp and pulling me in tighter.

"Hey! I haven't been able to properly thank you for a great evening," He whispers, inches from my lips, leaning in so he can drag his nose slowly across mine.

"You can't get out of this by being sweet…" I shake my head.

"Oh? Are you sure?" He smiles, gently licking his lips. The half smile he does, with the dimple in his left cheek, is like a weapon that takes out all my defenses. Add to that, him licking his beautiful full lips and I am surprised I am not just a puddle on the floor. I need to snap out of it!

"I have a lot of cleaning up to do…" I protest, only half serious.

"I hire people to do this for me…"

"Yeah, me!" I exclaim, finally pushing away from him and quickly bending down to grab the napkin from between his legs and getting it into the garbage bag he took away from me.

"Bree! Come on, take a break! It's been a long, busy day… just come on… this stuff can wait till tomorrow. The cleaning staff is coming in at nine, you don't need to do this yourself…" Sid pulls my hands away from the bag again, this time straight up around his neck as he presses his lips to mine. He's had wine. I can still taste it on his lips. That is so not helping.

"Come to bed…" I hear him whisper, his voice thick with the thoughts that are clearly on his mind. He runs his hands down my back to my ass and pulls me in tight to him. Yup, I know what's on his mind.

"Sid! Your parents are here…" I roll my head back but he just moved his lips down over my jaw and down my neck. My knees get weak and I have to consciously remind myself to stand. Shit.

"I paid extra for good sound proofing…" He mutters into my neck, as his right hand creeps up my side, and pulls down the hidden zipper on my side. I feel his hand slip under the satin material of my dress, as he creeps up to cup my breast, running his thumb over my nipple, which I am guessing is pretty damn firm right about now.

"Sid…" I let a moan escape. Damn. That feels good.

"Shhh… you don't want to wake them…" he mutters again, moving his lips over mine. At first his lips gently press against mine, taking my breath away but then he begins to nip at my bottom lip playfully, giving me a chance to catch my breath, as he begins kissing down over my chin and along my jaw again. I tilt my head back, allowing him to kiss the sensitive skin along my neck to my collarbone. I can feel his fingers still grazing the surface of my breasts but then he pulls them out from beneath the material and brings both hands around to my back and pulls the straps down over my shoulders. I panic for a minute, as my brain takes over and points out to me that I am now standing half naked in the kitchen. As Sid wraps his smooth lips around my right nipple, the logical part of my brain shuts off and when he flicks it with his tongue, the horny part of my brain kills the logical point in a bloody feud.

I feel him wrap his arms around my waist and he lifts me up onto the kitchen counter, pushing me back and kissing a path down my stomach to my belly button. I know that I stand no chance of defying him now and who would want to? He lifts my ass and pulls my dress down my legs, then hooks his fingers around the band of my panties and pulls them down too. I watch as his eyes work their way up my body and he runs the back of his hand up the inside of my leg. The only thing I still have on, is my black pointy toe stiletto heels and if it wasn't for those I would be feeling slightly vulnerable. Instead, I feel incredibly sexy as I reach forward and hook my manicured fingers into the waistband on his dress pants, pulling him forward towards my naked body. He pulls me up to him with an urgent thrust and presses his lips aggressively to mine. I clumsily un tuck his shirt and begin pulling at the buttons, freeing his sculpted chest to my fingers. He shrugs his shirt off his shoulders and waives his arm to free it from his wrists, one at a time, while the other arm holds me tight to him.

I drag my fingernails up the skin of his newly exposed back and he releases a growl into my mouth. Apparently, I found something he likes… I'll put that in the mental notebook. I bring my nails up over his shoulders and run my fingertips softly over his chest, as he presses his erection to my pelvis through his pants. Pesky pants – they need to go. I run my hands down his stomach, over each perfectly defined abdominal muscle and to the button at the top of his pants. I think I am going to rip it with the urgency that I want it open but force myself to slow down and be careful. The last thing I want is to cause any suffering by pulling the zipper down to quick and catching something… oye, that would be a mood killer!

I get the zipper down and push his pants and boxers down over his hips in one fluid motion. I use my heels, wrapped around his waist to push them the rest of the way down, as my attention is much more focused on what has sprung up into view. I push my hips forward and bring his cock up to the wet folds of my pussy, feeling him run the length of his erection against my opening. I gasp and lean back on my elbows, as he slips just the tip of his penis inside me. I think he likes torturing me, as he teases my entrance with slow, shallow thrusts, making me bite down hard on my bottom lip to stop myself from screaming, _'Just fuck me!'_

He runs his hands up my body and grabs my breasts, running his thumbs over my nipples and twisting them just slightly between his thumb and forefinger, as if I am not wet enough! I collapse on my back as he pulls me towards him, pushing his entire length up into me. He feels so good inside me. I feel full, like he is stimulating every nerve ending in my body and I never want it to end. He pulls back just slightly and then thrusts himself back inside, quick and forceful. Then again and again, his speed increasing as he grips my hips for leverage. The marble counter top is cold on my back but feels good as the sweat beads begin to form. I look up at his face and squeeze his cock with my pussy muscles, watching his face tighten as a deep moan escapes him. He opens his eyes and smiles down at me.

"Don't do that…" He warns me with a coy smile.

"What?" I ask innocently.

"You know what!" He laughs as his eyes get wide. I sit up and wrap my arms around his neck, happy to see that he is sweating too.

"I don't know what you are talking about…" I whisper into his ear, running my tongue along the side of his ear lobe. I squeeze his cock again as he sinks his fingers into my ass.

"Oh yeah? We are going to play like that are we?" He growls then pulls one hand around to the inside of my thigh, slipping his thumb over my clit. I gasp for air and pull myself into his chest tightly, as he runs small circles around my base of all pleasure.

"Oh fuck…" I gasp again, as he begins to hammer himself inside me and rolls my clit with his thumb. I can't hold on, as I feel him dig his teeth into my shoulder and growl.

"Cum on my cock. I want to feel you cum –" He grunts out. I don't know how – I certainly can't put together a sentence right now! I hear myself let out little noises I thought only existed in bad porn movies but can't help it. I dig my heels and nails into his back as he thrusts deep inside me, sending me over the edge. I muffle my scream in his shoulder and feel him thrust one more time, as he allows himself to release. He holds me tight against him, as if letting go would somehow end the world.

I let him hold me tight, as shivers of ecstasy overtake my body. I feel him pressing his lips to the skin of my shoulder and up my neck, as I pull back just slightly to see his face. He brings his hands up to both of my cheeks and pushes away the strands of hair stuck to my sweaty skin.

"I love you so much," He offers just above a whisper before pressing his lips to mine gently. I feel every muscle in my body relax and I couldn't care less that I am naked in the kitchen. But I'll tell you one thing – I am never going to look at this counter the same way.


	19. Chapter 19

_*Heading away on holidays, so i won't be posting for awhile... Hope you all enjoy this chapter!_

**Chapter 19**

**- June 2008 - **

"Hey! What are you doing here?" I climb out of my car door and see Jason standing on the front stairs. He was the last person I was expecting to see. I thought he was supposed to be at work…

"I just picked up the maps from CAA for our trip…" He says excitedly, waving around a stack of papers. Oh great, _our trip_. I should never have agreed to that. A week camping sounded fun at the beginning but then he invited three of his work buddies and one of them is bringing their very angry girlfriend, who spends most of her time yelling and acts like she belongs on Jerry Springer. It started sounding less and less fun as the planning went along.

"Oh baby… I'm sorry. I meant to talk to you about that…" I just watch the frown appear on Jay's face and instantly feel bad. He really has been patient with me and my schedule, especially over the last couple months of the playoffs. I've barely been here and when I am, I am running errands and too busy to see him. "Yeah…um… it's just that with the season ending the way it did…"

"No! No Bree! They don't need you here! Come on! You need a vacation, you _deserve_ a vacation!" Jay cuts me off in protest.

"Can I finish?" I hate when he cuts me off! "It turns out Sid agrees with you… I do need a vacation…"

"Oh?" Jason asked sceptically.

"Yeah, don't seem so surprised that you and Sid agree on something!" I laugh. "He invited me – _us_ – along with him and his parents to Barbados for a week."

"But… but we are going camping…"

"Yeah… but… _Barbados_…" I say slowly with a coy smile. Plus, I actually hate camping and didn't have the heart to tell him.

"I've been planning this vacation for weeks…" Jay pouts.

"Hmmm… sleeping on the ground, with mosquitoes and bears, in northern Quebec… _OR_ sipping fruity drinks in a sexy bikini on a beach in the Caribbean… which sounds more like a vacation to you?" I smile and wrap my arms around his neck.

"Spending my first time off in years, with Sidney _fucking_ Crosby and his asshole parents, bossing my girlfriend around, does not sound like a vacation to me!" Jay reaches up and pulls my arms off him, practically throwing me away. I didn't think he'd be this upset.

"They don't boss me around. I work for them," I correct him. "And Troy is a lot better when Sid's around…"

"Whatever…" Jay shrugs and looks away.

"So Barbados?" I ask, trying to get his attention by slipping my finger into his hand. He continues to stare far away, an angry scowl on his face and from the looks of it a fairly tightly clenched jaw. "Jay Jay?"

"No Bree. You can go to Barbados with the Crosby's or you can come on the trip that I planned for us. You need to pick who - I mean what - is more important to you," Jay folds his arms across his chest and stares at me.

"What are you saying?" I ask slowly, not really liking where this conversation is going.

"I am tired of this. You need to decide. Him or me," This is so ridiculous. I can't believe the words coming out of his mouth. Just another difference I guess. Sid would never make me choose.

"And if I choose Barbados?" I ask hesitantly. I am pretty sure I know the answer

"Then I'm fucking done! It's over." Yup, there it is.

"Okay then, I guess you leave me no choice," I shrug and he nods. I see his shoulders relax because he thinks he's won. Too fucking bad. I turn and head towards the house. "Have fun camping."

"What?" He snaps and grabs my arm, whipping me around to face him. "You can't be serious!"

"You didn't honestly think I would choose camping over the Caribbean? You just gave me a relationship ultimatum over my choice of mosquitoes and RVs or beaches and bikinis, for fuck sakes! I am _not_ playing that game. If that is what this relationship means to you, if that's _what I mean to you_… fine. If you say it's over, it's over. If you are willing to throw it away that easily, I am not interested."

"Bree!"

"If you'll excuse me, I have work to do," I push past him and head into the house. "And packing… for Barbados."

"We'll talk about this more when you get back!" I hear him call from behind me but i have no interest in talking anymore.

-.-

Is it weird that a part of me wants to call '_Honey, I'm home_' when I walk in the door? I've always wanted to do that. I don't know how Bree would take it… maybe I won't. I just open the door and walk in, placing my suitcase in the door. Nevertheless, its good to be home.

"Hey!" Bree comes down the hall towards the front door and greets my dad and me. She is a welcome sight. It's only been a couple days since I've seen her but it was under much different circumstances. I wasn't exactly in the best mood. Losing sucks. I am not going to mope anymore. I am just going to rest up, then train hard and do my best to have a better outcome next year.

"We found a stray dog down the street and I think he might live here…" My dad teases me.

"Did you check his tags?" Bree asks, laughing. It's good that somebody laughs at my dad's bad jokes.

"Har har har! Laugh it up! Glad I'm good for something," I roll my eyes.

"Oh don't pout! Your sister and mom are just picking up dinner…" She explains. I hope she picks up ribs. I really want ribs. There's a really great place for pickup near here. Normally I can't have ribs cause they are to fatty but I think for the next couple of weeks, I don't care. Maybe I should call her… "They will be here in a couple minutes. Your sister is so excited that you are home. She can't wait to show you how good she's gotten…"

"I am excited to see," I nod. That's the truth – but maybe just not right away. I need some time away from the ice. I'll worry about booking some ice time when we get back from the Caribbean. Right now, I just need a break.

"Well it was a long drive, so I'm going to use the pisser," My dad excuses himself in a gentlemanly way. So embarrassing. Bree just shakes her head. She is probably used to it by now.

"So…"

"So…" She responds with an awkward shrug. I am sure she expects me to still me miserable but I'm not gonna be.

"Excited about the trip?" I ask excitedly.

"You have no idea!" She jumps, clapping her hands together.

"Yeah? That's great!" I am so glad that she agreed to come. I can only imagine what my dad has put her through and I know that she deserves a break as much as anyone. Plus, it'll be nice to have someone around who isn't so bad on the eyes.

"I've never been anywhere hot…" She admits.

"Really? Barbados is amazing… the ocean, the people – it's all great," I watch her face light up. "You all packed?"

"Yup. I only had two bathing suits and Taylor insisted that I needed more then that. Your mom says I can buy more when we get down there, so…" She explains, giving me a head gesture to move out of the hallway. "I guess that gives me a mission."

"Is Jason coming?"

"No." She says bluntly.

"Okay…" I nod hesitantly. "Did something happen?

"I don't want to talk about it," Bree snaps.

"Okay. Fair enough. Sorry." All I can say is that quite frankly, I'm glad he's not coming.

"What time is the flight?" She asks changing the topic. I smile and offer her my best guess. She happily wanders into the kitchen and begins reaching down some plates and such for dinner. I watch as her muscles flex under her tank top and have to shake my head to keep any dirty thoughts from creeping into it. What can I say? It's been awhile… and unless I grow a pair and tell her how I feel, it's going to be a hell of a week containing my thoughts…

-.-

A private jet. Now this is the way to travel. It's like the seats hug you as you slide into them. I guess they should for the price of them! Actually, there should be a damn Ralph Lauren male model in each seat, ready to embrace you, for the price you pay! I really am trying to act like I am not in awe or overwhelmed by every second of this – but _come on_! There is a couch on this plane! I am used to being crammed between two obese men with BO in coach, so yeah, my jaw might hit the floor from time to time.

Taylor bounces down the length of the plane, then bounces back to the other end. Troy opens and closes every over head compartment, probably looking for snacks and Trina instructs him to stop and sit down. Sid is signing an autograph for the pilot's son. I can't believe I am here!

"Taylor, sit down!" Trina instructs her daughter firmly.

"But moooommmmm…" She whines, looking at me for support. Yeah right! I am not getting involved in that one!

"Sit!" Trina snaps.

"Fine," Taylor plops herself down on one of the front seat and pouts. It's a familiar scene.

Trina takes it in stride and lowers herself into a seat beside me. She pulls her purse around and turns off her cell. She knows the drill.

"So Sid mentioned that you seemed upset with Jason… what happened?" Trina asks, absentmindedly digging through her purse.

"Um… nothing really… just… I dunno. I don't really get it," I admit. "He kinda snapped. I told him about the trip and he said there was nothing he would hate more then coming on vacation with Sid. I thought they were friends…"

Trina let out a deep sigh and leaned her head against the seat back.

"When Jay and Sid were seven, Jay convinced Sid that he would be a better hockey player if he ate worms every morning. We didn't know he was doing it until winter came and Sid got really upset that he wouldn't get to his worms under the snow," Trina explained. I love how she tells ridiculous stories about Sid without breaking a smile. I can't help but laugh.

"When Jay and Sid were nine, they had a competition for who could push the most rocks up their noses. Sid was very proud of himself for winning… even after four hours in the hospital with the nurses laughing at him," Trina continued. "Probably the only competition Jay ever _let_ Sid win."

"Wow… with friends like that…" I shake my head in disbelief. Not sure if it's disbelief that Jay would be that mean or Sid would be that stupid.

"Yeah, well, they're not really _friends_…" Trina watched as Sid came into the airplane and plopped down beside his sister, giving her a wet willy.

"Oh? I thought…" I watch as Taylor jumps up and gives him a nuggie but Sid quickly puts her back in her spot.

"What's the term Taylor uses? _Frienemies_?" Trina laughs and turns back to me.

"Yeah…"

"Yeah, that's more Jason and Sid. Sid eventually got smarter… thank goodness!" She finally laughs. I bet she has a thousand more stories like that. "Sid started applying the keep your friends close, but your enemies' closer relationship model to Jason," She explains. "They never stopped competing. Sid always won and, well, Jason never really took it well. Most of the guys around here kinda just dealt with it but Jay always stewed on it."

"Well that explains a lot," I nods understandably.

"I know it annoys Sid. He never wanted to compete with Jason but Jason just never let up. The only thing Jason seemed to be better at then Sid, was girls," Trina gave me the knowing head bob and warmly placed her hand over mind.

"Well he screwed that up," I let slip.

"Pardon?" Trina asks.

"I, um… I think I kinda broke up with him." That seems weird to say because I don't remember actually agreeing that we were a couple. I think everyone else thought we were more then we were. Maybe Jason thought we were more then we were but I was pretty clear from the beginning.

"Oh sweetie, I am sorry to hear that!" Trina wraps her arms around me and pulls me in for a consoling hug. I don't have the heart to tell her that I am not really that upset about it. Sid looks back at us and I smile and roll my eyes. He chuckles.

I am saved from Trina's _loving embrace_ when the pilot comes onto the PA system and instructs us to all take our seats and do up our seat belts.

-.-

"Welcome to paradise," Sid whispers into my ear as I walk down the red carpet from the plane to the waiting car service. I feel goose bumps form from his warm breath on my ear. I turn and smile at him, the sun lighting up the gold flecks in his eyes, just as Taylor throws herself onto his back.

"Taylor get off your brother! He needs to heal!" Trina yells from behind us.

"It's fine Mom!" Sid yells back at her, adjusting Taylor to a comfortable position for a piggyback ride.

"Giddy up!" She instructs him, pulling on the little strands of his hair likes reigns. Sid dutifully obliges and gallops his sister to the car. It's quite a sight.

Everyone loads into the limo and I take a deep breath, letting the relaxation begin to wash over my body. Troy hasn't asked me to do something menial and insulting to my intelligence in hours. Maybe this trip will be a success.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

"So your villa is two buildings, each with two bedrooms. They share a common space and pool, as well as kitchenette, and has private access to a private beach," The hotel manager points down a narrow path as he shows us around our villa. I know the details, as I was the one that booked it but the others are all paying close attention. I am only paying close attention to Bree. The sundress, dark sunglasses and big floppy straw hat she is wearing, makes her look like a movie star. If we were walking around the streets on Montreal right now, people would be paying more attention to her then me, which says a lot.

The manager finishes his tour as two bellhops arrive with carts of our luggage.

"So who is bunking with who?" Dad asks. Not to worry, I have this all planned out.

"Um, well I thought that you guys and Taylor would be in one building and then… Bree and I would be here," I suggest.

"I don't want to be with mom and dad!" Taylor folds her arms across her chest and stomps.

"Okay, well how about you and Bree take one and dad and I will share with Sid," Mom suggests and I feel like stomping my foot myself. That was not part of my plan.

"No, come on, Bree is here on a vacation too. She doesn't want to share with Taylor. Let's give her a break," I try and make it sound like I am doing it for Bree's sake but I doubt anyone is buying it.

"I don't mind, really…" Bree just shrugs peacefully.

"I won't be bad or anything! I swear!" Taylor promises, her eyes lighting up.

"I just think that it would be better, for if, like, Bree wants to go to the clubs late or something… it's better if she wakes me up then you guys or Taylor…" I try and convince my parents.

"I'm not gonna do that…" Bree interjects, looking embarrassed that anyone would think she would even _want _to go to the clubs.

"Sid, it's just easier this way…" My mom tries to convince me. I hate when my plans go to hell. I really didn't see this one coming either!

"Fine! Whatever… but if I think you're being a brat, you are back with mom and dad!" I threaten Taylor. A part of me hopes she is a brat, so I can get some alone time with Bree.

"Yes! It'll be like a slumber party!" Great. Now I will never think of a slumber party the same way. I will have to delete a lot of slumber party themed porn from my computer because every time I see it, I will think of my sister saying _'it'll be like a slumber party'_. That's fucking sick.

"Well now that that is settled, I think we can take our bags and get settled," Mom instructs everyone and begins directing the two attendants of who's bags are who's. I watch as Taylor hugs Bree and pulls her towards their building. Damn it all to hell! I watch the ocean breeze catch the edge of Bree's dress, flipping it up just slightly to give me an even better view of her perfectly toned legs and curse my life.

-.-

"Bree! These aren't the socks I wanted packed! I very clearly said the white ones with the blue bands… these are black bands!"

"What's the difference?" I ask impatiently as Sid appears in the doorway to his parent's room, where I am fortunate enough to be able to help Troy unpack his suitcase. So much for a fucking vacation.

"Between blue and black? _Really Bree_?" Troy asks, holding up two pairs of sweat socks, that I seriously can't tell the difference between.

"No Troy! Between the socks!" I snap.

"They have different elastic, different weight –"

"They are both Fruit of the Loom socks! They came in the same bag. A six pack - 3 blue, 3 black. How can they be that different?" I ask angrily.

"They just are!" He throws the socks back into the suitcase, instead of - oh, I dunno – the open drawer behind him? Fuck.

"They are socks! You aren't even wearing socks! You are wearing sandals…" I point down to his nasty ass feet.

"That's not the point!" He snarls.

"So, just to clarify, you are complaining about having to wear something that you don't have to wear?" I ask, as I see Sid out of the corner of my eye raise his hand to cover his mouth to stiffen the laughter that is about to erupt.

Troy just glares at me and I glare right back.

"Ahhhh!" Troy throws his arms in the air and stomps off towards the bedroom's en suite, slamming the door behind him.

"Do you see what I deal with?" I turn to Sid and snap.

"Yeah… I'm sorry. I should have stepped in and cut him off, but that was just too damn funny…" He offers apologetically but it offers no consolation.

"I don't even know why I am in here? He can't put away his own damn socks? Why can't your mom help him? Jesus…" I take a deep breath and roll my shoulders back, trying to calm myself. Sid steps up behind me and wraps his large hands around my shoulders, kneading in just the right spot. My knees get weak and my head flops back and lands on his shoulder. Damn.

"Come on, let's get out of here… I'll take you down and show you the beach…" He suggests gently, pushing me back up.

"Sounds great…" I nod, turning to face the exit. "Anywhere but here…"

I follow him out of the room and out of the building towards the villa's shared pool and hot tub area – where I intend on spending several hours! – and towards the path to the beach, guarded by a little gate.

"Where you guys going?" Taylor comes bounding out of her room towards us. We almost made it out…

"Just down to the beach," I tell her, as she wraps her arms around my waist in a happy hug.

"Can I come too?" She asks sweetly. I can't say no and I doubt Sid would…

"Shouldn't you be unpacking?" Sid asks her in a very brotherly tone.

"All done!" She smiles. I doubt that very much. Not that I unpacked very well either… I am sure Sid has everything put away perfectly though.

"I guess… sure… why not?" Sid smiles at her but the smile looks very forced. That's not like him. He is usually excited to spend time with his sister. I wonder if something is wrong? Did I do something wrong? He wouldn't bring me here and fire me… would he? No, that's too harsh… but maybe… I should be nicer to his dad…

-.-

FUUUUUUUUCK! All I wanted was five bloody minutes alone with Bree but nooooooo… nothing seems to be going my way!

I watch as Taylor and Bree collect seashells, like we don't have seashells at home! Taylor keeps making Bree head further and further out into the water but Bree is trying to stay out of the reach of the waves that are crashing to shore. I think Taylor has turned it into a game and I can't help but cheer for Taylor, as I can only imagine how hot that dress would look soaking wet and sticking to the curves of Bree's body.

A wave comes up and almost catches Bree while she is bent over grabbing a unique shell but she jumps up and sprints towards me, just getting out of its way in time. Taylor, of course, is soaked head to toe and couldn't care less.

"It's just water!" I laugh, as Bree darts past me.

"This dress is dry clean only!" She puts her hands on her hips

"Well that's a stupid thing to wear to the beach, don't cha think?" I can't help but tease her.

"I like this dress!" She protests, rubbing some sand off the hem of her dress that had attached itself when she squatted to rinse her shell bounty in a small tidal pool.

"I like it too…" I offer honestly, reaching behind her to help brush some more sand from the skirt of the dress. It takes a minute for it to occur to me what I am doing. It was just instinct to help, I swear. The fact that I am now basically running my hand over her ass was not planned. I feel heat spread across my face as the realization comes to both her and I. She looks up at me, catching my eyes with hers and I can't help but gulp. She doesn't move and neither does my hand on her ass. The look in her eyes is confusing, I can't figure out what I am seeing. Does she want me to do something? Does she want to slap me? I panic and take a step back. "Sorry… I didn't mean to…"

"It's fine," She laughs awkwardly but looks away. Great. She's blushing too. Way to make her uncomfortable! I'm a fucking idiot. As if that wasn't bad enough, being this close to her has awoken my fifth appendage and he's threatening to make himself visible. I'm like a horny freakin' thirteen year old.

"I should go change anyway…" She offers, arranging the shells in her hand. "Your mom wanted to head up to the main lodge for dinner anyway. We should probably head back."

"Yeah, for sure…" I nod but am yet again left kicking myself, as she turns away from me to collect my sister from the waves. She was inches from me and I should have just… just fucking kissed her already. Maybe that's what she wanted… How many more chances am I going to get? How am I going to make it through the rest of the week? Fuck, how am I going to make it through dinner tonight?

-.-

"Hey, what are you doing out here?" I poke my head out onto the balcony, overlooking the ocean. Sid is standing leaning over the rail, his head in his hands. He left the dining room fairly abruptly after dinner – didn't even finish his wine. I had to finish it for him. Pity. Dinner was unbelievable. I admit that I am not really one for fish – especially not ones with the heads still left on them – but whatever the chef did was amazing. Taylor let me try one of her scallops and a little part of me almost came at the table – it was _that_ good!

"I just needed some air…" He offered while he looked over his shoulder at me. I can hear the rhythm of the waves crashing on the beach beneath the villa but I can't see them. It's places like this where you really realize the effect of light pollution in the city. The only thing I can see is the line of the horizon, due to the faint traces of the sun which dipped below what seems like hours ago.

"Everything okay?" I ask, knowing that I am not going to get a real answer.

"Yeah… for sure…" He nods. Liar. Oh well, I tired.

"It was nice, what you did for your parents in there…" I'll admit I teared up. He made a beautiful toast to them, thanking them for all their sacrifices and for being the role model for the relationship he hopes to have for himself one day. Through all the shit and the hard times, they stayed together, even though it would have been easy to walk away. Legitimately taking their marriage vows to heart, for richer or poorer, through good times and in bad – Trina and Troy have powered through. It's not that common anymore. Certainly not something that exists in my family.

"Yeah, they deserve it. They deserve so much more then I could ever give them. They did so much for me growing up, gave up everything, just so that I could play hockey…"

"It's nice to see a couple that's been together for so long, still so much in love…" I admit. As much as Troy makes me angry on a semi regular basis, he treats his wife like his queen and loves her to pieces. I look over at Sid, who has hunched over the rail and buried his head back in his hands.

"Sid? What's wrong?" I ask quietly, placing my hand on his back. He shrugs it off but I don't let my hand fall too far, instead I reach up and tuck one of his little curls back in its place behind his ears. I swear I hear him sniffle. "Sid?"

"It's nothing," He stands up straight and tries to convince me but I just look at him stubbornly. "I just… I want what they have… I want it soooo bad…"

"Oh jeez Sid," I can't even believe what I am hearing. What 20 year old guy wants to be married and settled down? He is a total freak of nature…

"I know, right? I am a loser. A total loser. I get that…"

"That's not what I said…" I shake my head.

"That's what you're thinking…"

"No… it wasn't actually…" Um… no, what I was thinking was 'freak', not 'loser'… "I was actually thinking, more then anyone else I know, it'll be you that gets something like that because you won't settle for anything but…"

"What if I don't?"

"You'll get it. You just have to be patient, ya know?"

"I know…" Sid shrugs and leans back over the rail. "I just, I wonder if sometimes I am too patient. Like, what if, while I am being so patient, I miss it. I miss my chance. I let someone slip by and then that's my one chance and… and then I don't get another, just because I am being patient?"

"Wow… you don't over think things at all, hey?"

"You know what I mean!" He snaps and I can see his knuckles tightening around the railing as he squeezes it in frustration.

"No, I don't think I do…" I offer softly. He is clearly upset about this. He turns away from me and collects his thoughts.

"Do you believe there is one person out there for everyone?" He asks me, still facing away.

"No." I offer simply. It might sound romantic but the math alone doesn't make sense.

"Well I do." He says point blank. "And…and I am afraid that I'm going to miss her…"

"Okay…" I look around desperately hoping his mom will come out here. This is not the conversation I should be a part of. I am not romantic. I am too practical for any of that BS. This is going to take some serious creativity to get me out alive. "Well then… I think… when you believe in something like that, that there is just one person for everyone, you have to have faith in it. You have to have faith that when you're ready, that's when you will meet her… otherwise she isn't really the one… Maybe she's just the one to get you through to _the one…"_

"_I'm_ over thinking it?" Sid smiles up at me. I can't help but laugh.

"That crap just rolled right off the tongue. Did you like it? I thought it was pretty good…" I tease him. I can't help it. Sometimes it's just too easy. He smiles and rolls his eyes. "All I'm saying is that you need to chill the fuck out. It'll happen when it happens. You're a twenty year old millionaire! Just enjoy it!"

"I just don't want to enjoy it alone…"

"Look around! Are you alone right now? No! Your parents are here, your sister…"

"You…"

"Yup, I am here and believe me, I am not complaining! The happy freeloader at your service!" I laugh and Sid laughs too, finally cutting the ridiculous tension.

"It's been a long day… I think I am going to head to bed. You are going to be okay?" I ask. Sid nods with a small smile. I lean in and plop a kiss on his forehead and offer goodnight before disappearing into the building.

-.-

I am so fucked.

I watch her walk away and disappear inside and I have to squeeze the railing to stop myself from following her inside and telling her that I think _she_ is the one. The only thing that stops me, really, is that I can see my sister sitting on the couch. Damn brat. If she had just stayed with my parents, this wouldn't have been a problem…


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

"So, how was shopping?" Sid asks as we walk up the path, putting his book down on his lap. He looks relaxed, which is good and all, but I am more then a little jealous. I got dragged out shopping with _his_ family and he got to sit here and do nothing… for the WHOLE day!

"Good… exhausting…" I smile, plopping my bags down on a nearby lounge chair. I am looking forward to plopping my ass into one of these soon enough.

"Did you get more bathing suits?" He asks.

"Yup…" I nod. What a fucking nightmare that was.

"Really sexy ones!" Taylor adds, walking up from behind me, and I instantly feel my cheeks heat up. She digs into my bag and pulls out a skimpy bikini top that I bought in frustration. I probably won't even wear it.

"That was all they had…" I shrug bashfully while ripping it out of her hands and stuffing it back into my bag. I looked high and low for a more modest bathing suit but no luck. Apparently the women of Barbados are not shy about their bodies. I'm not exactly shy but I would like to at least _cover_ my boobs!

"Well that's not _all_ bad," Sid smiles with a raised eyebrow and increases my un-comfort level a hundred fold.

"We are going to go pick up boys!" Taylor giggles and does a little run way strut, sticking out her hips and pouting her lips.

"I'm sorry, _we_?" Sid's eyes get wide and he sits up straight.

"For Bree! Not me! Relax!" Taylor laughs. Sid is very protective and Taylor knows how to push his buttons.

"That's right, not for you!" Sid warns her. "Until you are 30… no, make that 35… "

"Yeah okay, whatever…" Taylor rolls her eyes and struts inside. Sid watches her go in horror. It may have just occurred to him right now that she isn't a little girl anymore. She has started to develop, albeit not very much and today in the market she nudged me in the ribs as a hunky Island man walked by us. If her dad had seen her do a double take like she did, he would have dragged us all home and locked her up for the rest of the vacation.

"Oh Sid, what are you going to do when she comes home with some hockey player?" I tease.

"She wouldn't dare!" He gasps.

"Keep thinking that…" I grab my bags and turn to head inside.

"Hey! That's not funny!" He yells after me and I turn around to rub salt in the wound.

"What would make you madder?" I ask with a curious look. "A first round draft pick? Or a forth line bruiser? Hmmm…"

"Bree!" Sid seems shocked that I would even say such a thing. I laugh, shrug and step inside to get out of the wake of the potential head explosion as he contemplates my words. Hehehe… I am so mean!

-.-

"So what's the plan for today?" I ask, taking a sip of my coffee. It's really good coffee. Some guy comes in, first thing in the morning, and makes the coffee, lays out all the accoutrements, then disappears. There seem to be more staff around here then I can keep up with. The first night here, I was getting ready for bed and stepped into the bathroom to brush my teeth. When I came out, the sheets were turned down and I thought I was just imagining things, or maybe missed that they were already down or something… but last night, they were for sure turned down! It's kinda creepy.

"We are going snorkelling!" Taylor pops her head up happily from the huge bowl of yogurt and tropical fruit in front of her. There is a huge buffet of breakfast foods that also magically showed up this morning. I'm not going to complain… the croissants are amazing!

"Oh?" I panic. "Well, have fun with that…"

"What? You're not coming?" Sid asks, shocked that I would pass up such a fantastic opportunity to be fish bait.

"Oh, hells no!" I laugh and shake my head. This might actually be the perfect opportunity to lounge by the pool… All. By. My. Self.

"Why not?" Sid continues, as Taylor shovels a huge spoonful of yogurt into her mouth.

"Lots of reasons…" I offer, then start listing them on my fingers. "Sharks, jelly fish, eels, seaweed, sharks, drowning, sharks… did I mention sharks? No thanks, not for me!"

"There are sharks back home…" He points out. Trina wanders into the kitchenette yawning and stretching. I reach her down a coffee mug and fill her a cup. She normally greets me at the door in the morning with a coffee for me, so it's nice to return the gesture.

"Not my back home!" I point out. "Mosquitoes, yes… sharks, NO!"

"I mean in Nova Scotia…" He laughs and shakes his head at me.

"Yeah and do you see me going in the ocean in Nova Scotia? No! You know why? Because I can think of better ways to die!"

"You aren't serious!" Sid seems to be in utter shock.

"Ah, yeah… yeah I am serious!"

"Mom! Talk some sense into her!" Sid pleas to his mom, who just puts up her hands in a gesture that screams '_Leave me out of it!_' Sid turns his attention back to me. "So just so I understand, you won't snorkel or swim while you are here because you are afraid of sharks?"

"Among other things…" Do I need to talk about eels and jellyfish? "I will swim in the lovely resort pool… or the lovely chlorinated pool just out side the doors here…"

"That's not the same! The ocean is… _better_. It's natural, not full of chemicals and people's urine… What about the resort beach? You could go swimming there?" Sid suggests, not about to give up. I don't want to have to get into the discussion of all the animals that actually urinate in the ocean…

"Um… no… I've seen Jaws… sharks like shallow water…I'll pass…"

"They have nets that stop big fish from coming to the shore…" Sid explains. I bet eels can get through them… ugh. I feel shivers going down my spine, just thinking about eels and I shake my head adamantly.

"I'll get you in that water!" Sid threatens in a teasing manner. I just continue to shake my head.

"Oh, just leave the poor girl alone!" Trina interjects and I stick my tongue out at him. "You're the one lecturing us on letting her enjoy her vacation… if she doesn't want to swim in the ocean, she doesn't have to."

"Haha! You just got told!" I tease, popping a piece of pineapple in my mouth and knowing that now I need to watch my back…

-.-

"Are you ready to go?" My mom pops into my room and I just look up at her with a sad expression.

"No… sorry mom…" I shake my head and hold my stomach. "Something just isn't sitting right in my stomach… it must've been all that fruit I ate for breakfast…"

"Oh no… are you alright? Should we cancel?" She asks.

"No… no… you guys should still go. Taylor is really excited about it…" I shake my head.

"Well, we could postpone… I'm sure your dad wouldn't mind a day just laying around…" She continues. Damn she is persistent. The last thing I need is my dad lying around here… that would seriously mess up my plan!

"No mom. Go! Have fun! Maybe we can schedule it again later in the week…"

"Okay, if you are sure…"

"I'm sure mom! Go! Take pictures! I'll be fine! Maybe I'll call down for some Imodium or something…"

"Okay but if you need anything, Bree is here, so don't hesitate to ask her," She lets out an exasperated sigh. "I'll tell her that you are staying behind - "

"No mom, don't," I cut her off. "Don't say anything to her. I don't need her checking on me or anything, and if you tell her, then she will feel like she needs to and she deserves a break…"

"Yeah, you are probably right. It'll be good to give her some time to herself…" She nods. "Especially time away from your father…"

"Yeah, for sure," I chuckle but then grab my stomach. "Don't worry about me. Go! Have fun!"

"We will be back this afternoon, you rest," My mom offers one more time then steps out of my room, pulling the door closed behind her.

I lie still in my bed and listen to the sounds outside my room. Birds chirping, the ocean wind gently blowing the leaves of the palm trees, my Dad belching… nice. I hear the car service pull up and let out a relieved sigh. I wait for a couple minutes before climbing to my feet, crossing the room and peering out the window. It looks like they are really gone. Everyone but one.

I head out of my room and towards the common living area, located between the two sets of bedrooms. I watch as Bree steps out of the villa and walks over to the lounge chairs in front of the pool, placing a towel down on the chair and arranging her magazines and water bottle, all perfectly within arms reach. She looks like she is about to settle in for some quality sun tanning time…

I watch from the doorway, as she reaches up and unties the beach cover up from around her neck and slips it down over her body, stepping out of it as it hits the ground. This must be one of the new bathing suits – it certainly doesn't meld with her regular conservative wardrobe. I am not complaining.

_MmmMmmMmm… hawt damn!_

"Oh Shit!" Bree sees me standing here and jumps up out of her lounge chair, wrapping the towel around her upper body, covering the wide expanse of skin left uncovered by the small black bikini. Shit - the bikini barely covers the parts that it is _supposed_ to cover. Again – not complaining.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" She practically jumps down my throat but then she seems to remember that I am still the one that signs her pay cheques and lightens her tone. "I mean… um… I thought you were going snorkelling! I um…"

"Yeah well… I've decided on a different ocean adventure…" I laugh at her back peddling.

"Oh?" Bree looks up at me with a concerned look.

"Yeah… it's a new game…" I step away from my spot at the door, putting myself between her and any escape route. "Let's call it… Bree meets the Ocean…"

"You wouldn't!" She squeals. Oh silly girl. She should know better.

"I would…"


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

I am trying to act tough. I really am but I keep looking around my feet, expecting a sting ray to come up out of nowhere and attack me. I can't help it.

This is _so_ not okay.

I tried to get away from him but he cornered me by the pool and the guy isn't exactly weak. And when he puts his mind to something, chances are, nothing can stop him. Half way down the path to the beach, I stopped struggling thinking that he would loosen his grip and I could get away, but no such luck. He had me flung over his shoulder, my ass up in the air and there was just nothing I could do about it. Of course, he thought it was fucking hilarious.

He didn't miss a beat once we got to the water's edge, kicking off his sandals and marching me right out into the sea. He stopped when he was about waist deep and pulled me off his shoulder, cradling me like a child across his wide chest. I held my breath as he laughed and pretended to drop me several times.

"Just put me down already!" I screamed.

"Awww… but this is so much more fun for me!" I swatted his chest with my hand but quickly returned my arm to around his neck, clinging for dear life, when I saw a school of little fish swim by. Where there are little fish, there are bound to big bigger fish – like sharks – to eat them. I didn't come on vacation to get eaten.

A part of me thinks he liked torturing me, maybe used it as practice for some psychological warfare techniques that he's rehearsing to use against opponents in the upcoming season. If not, then he's just a jerk.

"Just get it over with!" I beg. My heart can't handle this much stress!

"Are you ready?" He asked. I nodded. "Okay Bree, meet my friend, the ocean…" And then he dropped me. Just like that. My ass hit the sandy bottom of the sea, as I sunk like a sac of potatoes. When I breached the surface, I shoved him. Hard. I finally knocked him off his feet and he fell back. Of course, he continued to laugh but I certainly didn't do it to be funny. Jack-ass.

While he flopped around in the water, I attempted to make my escape but soon felt his arms back around my waist pulling me back into the water. It wasn't as cold as I thought it would be, it's actually quite refreshing. Now don't go thinking I am enjoying this! The pool would be just as refreshing… I'm just saying it's not _that_ bad. I pushed away and climbed to my feet – or attempted to, as a wave or two made it quite a challenge. But I am standing now, checking the ground for any movement to indicate an eminent attack.

"Christ Bree! Relax!" Sid stands up and splashes some water in my direction.

"Relax? I was going to relax! Upstairs with my trashy magazines and probably, in about an hour, a mai tai - or twelve - and quiet! Actual, unadulterated quiet!" I try and explain.

"If I call down for a mai tai and a lounge chair, will you relax and try and enjoy the water?" He asks seriously. For some fucked up reason, this seems really important to him. I want to stomp my feet and get the fuck out of here but I find my resolve weakening.

"Fine but can you ask for a _couple_ mai tai's? I might need them…" I can't believe I just agreed to this.

"For sure! I'll be right back, okay?" He bounced out of the water, towards the beach.

"Well I sure to hell ain't standing here!" I scream and start to follow him. The lone seals are always the first to get eaten!

-.-

"This… this is much better…" I sigh, taking a long sip out of my drink… not sure what number this one is… I stopped counting. The resort staff came down to the beach and set up a whole little private sitting area, with a covered cabana, lounge chairs, pillows, towels, a table for drinks and another fabulous looking fruit buffet. A waiter appears every fifteen minutes to check on us and seems to always have a fresh drink in his hands. For every two drinks I down, Sid downs one, so the waiter is never not a welcome sight. I may be slightly inebriated – but Sid is right out of his face. The guy cannot handle a girlie drink!

"Time to swim!" Sid plops his empty drink down on the table, after a few attempts to locate the table's surface and raises his arms in the air.

"I don't think that's a good idea…" I shake my head, watching in astonishment, as he tries to roll out of the lounge chair.

"You said!" He points his finger towards my face, stopping only inches from poking me in the eye.

"Yeah but…" I swat his hand away and begin trying to figure out how to say that I didn't think swimming was a good idea for someone so drunk but I think he figured it out all on his own, as he clumsily attempts to climb to his feet and falls over, flat on his face. Didn't even get his arms up in time to protect his face.

"Oh my God! Are you okay?" I gasp, sitting up and looking down at the ground to where he is lying, in complete and utter shock! He pushes himself up on to all fours and hysterics take over my whole body as he begins spitting out the sand that he got a total mouthful of! I think I am going to pee myself, I am laughing so hard! I can't help it!

"Thanks! Thanks for your help!" He snaps at me.

"I'm sorry… I just… I just don't think that I am in any shape to help… just like you're not in any shape to swim!" I reach out my arm and offer it to him, to help him back up but he bats it away, determined to do it on his own.

"Yeah. Yeah, you might be right…" Sid flopped back on the lounge chair. "Maybe we should call down for some lunch... absorb the alcohol… Where's the waiter?"

"Mmm… lunch sounds perfect!" I agree, putting my hands on my grumbling stomach. Fruit and fruit juices mixed with rum only sustain you for so long. "Here he comes!"

"Hello sir, another drink?" The waiter asks, approaching with a tray of colourful beverages.

"Um, no. I don't think that's a good idea, I think I am going to switch to water," Sid shakes his head and rubs some sand off his cheek. "Actually, I think we could use some lunch. Could you bring us down something?"

"Absolutely. Anything in particular?"

"Bree?" Sid defers to me with a shrug. I ponder the thought and know that I should request a salad, or a grilled chicken sandwich on some wafer thin multi grain bread, hold the mayo. But what I want – what I_ really _want – is something nasty and greasy, like a truck stop burger and fries… I certainly can't say that… or can I? I'm on vacation damnit!

"Something unhealthy please," I request. "A burger with all the fixin's and fries with gravy and melted cheese on top!"

"Yes ma'am," The waiter nods with a confused look. What never seen a poutine? "And for you sir?"

"The same!" Sid laughs. "Oh and something chocolate for dessert!" Wow, dessert? He_ is_ drunk!

"Don't tell my dad okay?" He turns to me with a really guilty look on his face, as the waiter walks away with our disgustingly fantastic order.

"Or Andy!" I add and he nods enthusiastically.

"Yeah, he would kill me…" Sid admits. Nah, his trainer would probably blame me anyway… something about me being a bad influence.

"You can live on protein powder and quinoa salads when you get home! You are on vacation! When was the last time you had a burger and poutine?"

"Poutine? Probably, not since Junior…" Sometimes I think being an athlete isn't worth it. I can't imagine a life without poutine… it's just somehow cruel. And very un-Canadian. "There's this place in Rimouski that makes the best fries! The guys would go all the time but I tried to limit it. That was hard! You should come with me when I head back there this summer!"

"I guess we'll see…" I shrug. It's hard to imagine a road trip with him. Seems to intimate. I was supposed to be on a road trip right now… I glance over at Sid, who is still rambling on about French fries, and try to imagine being alone in a car, camping on the side of the road and eating at truck stop diners with him for a week. I just can't see it. I doubt I would get through a whole week without strangling him… or sleeping with him. I guess it could go both ways…

"And Max raves about this place in Montreal," Sid cuts off my train of thought. "Apparently they put fois gras on top of their poutine…"

"I think I know the place!" I snap out of it. Thinking about sleeping with Sid is not a good idea, considering how much I've had to drink. No, thinking about food is a _much_ better plan. "They cook their fries in duck fat. Not exactly a place you imagine a lot of hockey players hang out at…"

"Yeah I know but… you know, maybe, just one fry wouldn't hurt…" He winks.

"Yeah, I hear you get a lot of street cred for ordering one fry poutines!"

"I was thinking I would just eat some of yours!" Sid teases.

"Oh, I don't share food!" I laugh and shake my finger at him. Now I am going to Montreal too? Settle down here Sid!

"Not even just one fry!" He gasps, clearly shocked that I would dare say 'no' to him.

"Nope sorry…" If I can say 'no' to sharing one fry, I can say 'no' to my hormones and my overwhelming urge to jump him… Maybe I need to switch to water too.

-.-

"Okay, well now we really need to swim!" Sid explains, licking the last of the chocolate sauce off the dessert plate.

"I can't swim right now, I will blow up," I shake my head. It's been a long time since I ate so much and I certainly didn't do it while wearing a bikini. Maybe a pair of sweatpants while lying on my couch watching '_The Notebook'_ in complete and utter privacy. I am so full I can't even suck in my bloated stomach. So sexy.

"Okay, then how about a walk? I can't just lie here," Sid puts his plate down.

"Fine… but I am NOT going fast!" I laugh, rolling myself out of the lounge chair. Sid pushes himself up to his feet and we head out of the shade of the temporary cabana. I wish I remembered where I left my sunglasses, as the sun is piercingly bright. We stroll down the sand of the private beach and I pause to pick up a pretty shell here and there. Every time I bend down to pick one up, I think I am going to ralph but somehow miraculously hold it down. The burger was really good going down but I don't think it would be as good on it's second visit to my mouth.

"Hey look!" Sid calls to me, a couple paces behind me. He is holding a large shell in his hands and a very excited look spreads across his face.

"I don't want to look! It's something gross isn't it?" I know boys. They only get excited about gross things.

"No! I thought it would be a good shell for your collection but… _it's alive_!" Sid holds out a conk shell and points out the squishy parts inside moving around. I crinkle my nose, as he pokes the inside with a small piece of driftwood.

"Poor little guy! Put him down!" I plead to him. Sid rolls his eyes and gently tosses the shell out into the waves. He pouts like I just took away his favourite toy on Christmas morning. We continue on our stroll and I get a little braver, stepping out into the water and walking along the breaking waves. Every time a boat goes by, the waves come in stronger and I struggle to remain standing. Sid is standing close by to offer his arm in assistance of my lack of balance and I probably look like a total dork.

A large wave comes up and crashes over us. I lose my footing in the sand and almost double over but Sid wraps his arm around me and pulls me back up. I am not meant to stand in the ocean. It's pretty clear. Another wave comes up and Sid holds on to me. I can feel his muscles' flex in his chest and arms, as he pulls me in to him, bracing against the power of the water. The wave was a strong one and we each take a little step to the shore under it's force.

"Thanks," I offer, wiping the water off my face. If he wasn't holding me up I would undoubtedly be flat on my face.

"No problem," he responds quietly but there is a pained expression on his face as he stretches out his leg.

"Are you okay?" I ask, noticing the slight limp as he takes a couple small steps.

"Yeah, yeah… just a little tight still… I'm fine," He brushes it off but I doubt that he's fine. He got beat to shit in the playoffs and he can act as tough as he wants but there is no way that anyone could come away from that being _'fine'_.

"Do those hurt?" I ask as I notice the bruises on his chest, along the side of his rib cage and down his arms.

"Some of them…" He shrugs and I can't tell if he's being honest or tough. I want to push on one and test but as I reach out to touch one, the feel of his skin under my fingers sends an odd sensation throughout my body. I trace the outline of the bruise up his ribcage, trying to replay the hits that got him these bruises in my head. Rafalski… Zetterberg… this one might have actually been Gill by accident in the far corner fighting Datsyuk for the puck…

"Bree?" He asks me softly and I snap back to reality.

"Sorry… I ah… sorry," I stutter, as I shake my head and look up him. He is staring at me with an intense look in his eyes and I realize what I've been doing. Shit. Blame in on the alcohol. Yeah, good plan. "I should head back up to the house and, um, get a nap and shower before dinner…"

"Okay," Sid offers softly, still starring at me intently.

"Okay." I head out of the water and grab my towel from the cabana. I think I need a cold shower. Holy shit.

-.-

I can't actually move. All I can do is watch her walk away. My heart is beating a hundred miles a minute and I don't think that I have actually taken a proper breath since her fingers started exploring my body. I can still feel everywhere she touched. I need to know what that was… does she… maybe… maybe it's not just me?

She grabs a towel from the cabana and quickly heads up the path to the house and I have to will my feet to pull me out of the ocean. Screw the towel. I need to talk to her…

I walk up the path debating what to say, what to do… maybe if I just…

What am I doing? Holy fuck! I can't just walk up to her door and knock! What am I going to do?

I should go back to my own room, rub one out and take a nap. A nap always helps clear my mind. Yeah, that's a good idea. A nap! But my feet didn't get the message, as I look up and realize I am standing outside her building and my arm, isn't listening to my brain either - or at least not the one in my head – as my hand goes up and I watch it make contact with the door.

_*knock*knock*_

I feel my pulse beating out of control as the door cracks open slowly. I need her. I can't hold myself back anymore.


	23. Chapter 23

_*Okay, so I need a bit of feedback... I am currently developing another story and it has been going pretty well. I like to write a bit into the story to see how it progresses before posting it just to make sure that I don't get bored with it and that I have enough to build a plot, etc. etc. I gotta say, I like it quite a bit but a bit of the plot is based on the KHL and how they treat their players (not well!). In light of recent events, is this insensitive of me to keep working on? It's mostly part of a background story and not the main plot but still... i kinda feel bad..._**  
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**Chapter 23**

"Hey Sid!" My sister pulls open the door and beams happily at me. "What do you want?"

FUUUUUCKKKK! "Hey, wow! Um… you're back from snorkelling already?" I ask, stunned but trying not to let her see my disappointment. Actually I am pretty glad I didn't swear in her face! I carefully try and look behind her, for just a glimpse of Bree. Maybe if I could get her attention, then talk to her privately… maybe we could… I dunno…

"Yeah, well Dad got stung by a jellyfish, so…" She explains.

"Shit… is he okay?" Fucking figures, my dad would have something to do with this. He's like the ultimate cock-block.

"Yeah, he's fine. Just whining…" Taylor shrugs and rolls her eyes. "What are you doing here?"

What am I doing here? That's a good question. "I was just… um… coming to…um… check on Bree. Is she here?" I somehow manage to stutter out.

"Yeah, she just climbed into the shower. I'll tell her you were looking for her when she gets out," Taylor offers.

"No don't!" I yelp but my voice cracks, making me sound even more pathetic. As I clear my throat, my sister looks at me suspiciously. The last thing I need is her putting two and two together. She is even less discreet then my father. "It's fine, okay. It's nothing… just don't mention I was here…" What was I thinking anyway? I can't _do_ anything about it with my family here. What if my sister walked in or something? _'Jesus Sid! Use your brain!_' I lecture myself. I can't let my penis do all my thinking.

"I'll see you guys at dinner…" I back away from the door. Taylor continues to look at me weird but there is nothing I can do about it. I just need to go take a cold shower and get the feel of her fingers on my body off of my mind.

-.-

"Sid was here asking for you…" Taylor offers, not looking up from her ipod as I wander back into our small living space. I hadn't thought about Sidney since the freezing cold water poured out of the shower head and hit my face in full force. It was a peaceful fifteen minutes. But it's over now as the image of his toned biceps and swollen lips on the beach come flooding back in.

"What? Why?"

"I dunno… but he was acting kinda weird…" She looks over at me with a little knowing smirk.

"Weird? What do you mean?"

"Like, he was upset that I answered the door and not you… naked…" She giggles, raising her eyebrow suggestively. It makes me uncomfortable when she suggests a relationship between her brother and I. It's weird.

"Taylor! That's your brother, don't be gross!"

"I'm just saying…"

"Well? What did he say?" I bark, not exactly meaning to but couldn't help it.

"He said not to tell you that he was here…" Taylor shrugs, trying to act like it's nothing, but then I see the little smirk she is trying to hide.

"What?" I ask again, making sure I heard her right. I know I did, but maybe…

"Yup," Taylor giggles again, knowing exactly what I am thinking. "And that he'd see us at dinner…"

Great. Dinner. I made a total ass of myself on the beach and now I get to have dinner sitting across from him. That won't be awkward.

-.-

'_What the fuck am I doing?'_ I ask myself looking into the mirror in the bathroom. The shower did nothing. The water never seemed to be cold enough to clear my thoughts. I can still see her, feel her, smell her. I am pretty sure I have destroyed the effects of cold showers, with the amount of time I spent in the cold tub this season.

But I have to try - I have to do something. Maybe I could go for a run or a swim. I swore I wasn't going to do any sort of training but I am pretty sure the resort has a pretty good gym… exercising always helps clear my mind. Get a good sweat on but nothing too intense. Yeah, that's a good plan. Then another cold shower because by then the thoughts of her naked are bound to creep back in. Naked, lying across my bed, maybe a sheet draped over her but… but pulled tightly over her breasts so I can see her perky nipples defined through it…

"Fuck, I'm pathetic," I swear out loud as I look up at my reflection again. I need a better distraction.

Okay new plan, I concede, walking into the bedroom and looking around for my cell phone. Without thinking I dial a familiar number to someone who I know will distract me… or help me maybe devise a plan that will help me deal with this.

"_Allo?" _

"Hey Max, it's Sid…" I greet him, trying to not sound as pathetic as I feel.

"_Hey man! How's it goin'?"_ He responds cheerily.

"It's shit man…" Shit. That came out sounding way more pathetic then I wanted it to. What is wrong with me today? I'll blame it on the alcohol.

"_Yeah I know… it'll be better next year man… we'll get those fuckers_…" Max offers in consolation.

"Yeah, I know… that's not really the problem right now…" I shake my head, not that he can see it. I realize that he's likely going to shit himself as he realizes for the first time since he met me, I'm not calling him to talk about hockey.

"_Oh? What's goin on?" _

"I just…" I want to explain to Max what the problem is because as much as he's probably the last person who will understand the conundrum, he'll definitely pump me up to maybe get the courage to go and actually do something about it. But as I debate how to describe my situation, I can't hear anything over the noise on the receiving end. "What's that noise in the background?"

"_Jamaica man! 'Dat is the sound of the islands, monn,"_ Max does his best imitation of a Jamaican accent, which considering he still kinda sucks at English, sounds pretty freakin' terrible.

"I'm in the islands too… but I can still carry on a conversation…" I snap. His idea of an island getaway and mine are as different as we are as people. Max wants girls, booze, dancing - I want a beach, fresh juice, and peace and quiet.

"_Sorry, dude. Sheesh. I'll go inside…"_ Max laughs and I can hear him slide a screen door open and then shut, instantly reducing the background noise._ "So where are you?"_

"Barbados with my parents, sister and … Bree…" I add her name last with a little emphasis and a sad sigh, so that maybe he'll catch the problem and I won't have to explain.

"_Damn she is _hawt_, serious dime piece. How have you not done her yet?"_ Max laughs. Nope, I guess he missed the emphasis.

"Yeah… I dunno. I can't. She kinda works for me. That would be weird right?" I know Max will say no. He doesn't believe in boundaries. A belief structure that gets him into trouble from time to time - more often then not, come to think of it. Let's just say that we have had to rescue him from several hotel rooms where he was been abandoned _sans clothes,_ if you know what I mean.

"_Yeah, you're probably right_," Max agrees with me. I was not expecting that. Makes me wonder if he's listening to me. Usually he's all over me trying to get some…

"Dude, did you hear me?" I ask, knowing him just a little too well to believe that.

"_Oh what?"_ Max snaps back to the conversation. Figures. _"Sorry dude what was that? I left the porn on and got distracted…you know, boobies and all…"_

"You leave the porn on?" I ask in disgust. That is just not something that I would ever do. Granted, I am also on vacation with my parents and wouldn't exactly want to explain that one to my mother but I am pretty sure that I wouldn't if I was alone either.

"_I paid for 24 hours, I will watch for 24 hours. It's called getting your money worth. It's lesson one in my upcoming book, 'Max's life lessons," _Max explains.

"Whatever dude," I laugh but I know he is dead serious.

"_Lesson two will be how to properly pleasure a woman and leave her begging for more_," Max continues.

"Yeah well, I don't have that problem…"

"_Because you never get any?"_ He asks.

"Yeah, pretty much…" He knows me too well.

"_Dude! Do you need me to come down there and help you grow a pair? Go down to the bar and get yourself a hot piece of ass and put that shit behind you!"_ Max suggests. This is much more the Max I know.

"And whose gonna wing for me? My sister? Maybe my mom?" I laugh, as I imagine my mom heading up to hotties at the club and being, like_, 'hi, have you met my son?'_ I actually shutter to think about it. She would probably pinch my cheeks and pull out a picture of me in diapers or something.

"_I told you, you needed to get away with 'da boys!" _Max insists, referring to his original plan for us all to go on a bender in Vegas. Not exactly my style. I can't imagine the press if they managed to get a shot of me drunken table dancing. I can just see the headlines. No, no, not a good idea.

"I thought I had this one…" I sigh and shake my head again.

"_You want me to come down there? I can be there in an hour!"_ Max offers, sounding way too enthusiastic. That worries me.

"No… you don't need to do that…I'm fine," I quickly reply but I can tell that I am too late. The idea is in his head and it's stuck there. There is no stopping it now.

"_I'm on my way!_" Max insists and before I know it I am listening to the dial tone. Well that wasn't exactly my plan but it'll work. I explain about Bree when he gets here. I am better face to face anyway.

-.-

"How's your foot dad?" I ask, stepping out of my bedroom. My brain wandered a bit after I got off the phone with Max and I had to rub one out - then have another shower because my boner wouldn't go down. I am going to have some serious chaffing issues if i don't get this under control. I decided hanging out in my bedroom, alone with my thoughts was a bad idea. Time for a walk.

"Bloody thing hurts like it got run over by a skate!" He adjusts his ice bag on his foot. "The fellows down on the beach put some goo on it but it has worn off, that's for sure…"

"Do you want me to call for a doctor or something?" I offer, knowing that for my dad to complain he must actually be in pain. Normally he only complains about other people and bad ref calls, never his own injuries. I think he thinks it makes him sound weak and he would die before he let anyone think that.

"Oh no, I'm fine…" He replies but I saw the wince, as he placed the bag back down on the swollen tissue. Apparently the '_I'm fine'_ is a family trait. I call bullshit. "How was your day? I take it you're feeling better?"

"Um, yeah… Imodium… works wonders…" I almost forgot about my lie.

"Brilliant stuff," He nods.

"Yeah for sure…" I chuckle, not really wanting to get into a discussion about my dad's intestinal workings which will come quickly if I don't change the subject. "Listen dad, I was just talking to Max and well, I think he's really down about the loss…" I just lied to my dad again. I feel instantly bad - twice in one day. "So I invited him to come and hang out here for a bit…"

"Awww…. Max is a good guy. Shouldn't be a problem," My dad nods and adjusts the ice on his foot. "As long as he doesn't come here and get you in all sorts of trouble…"

"He won't dad," I shake my head and laugh but deep down I get the feeling that that might not be entirely accurate. I'll do my best to hold my ground but… "I'm gonna go for a walk up to the main building and make some arrangements for Max. probably meet him up there. He's in Jamaica and i don't think it'll take him too long to get down here..."

"Okay, well, we'll all be here. Your mother made dinner arrangements, so be aware of that..."

"No problem, be back in a bit." I nod and head towards the front doors. I pause as I see Bree come out of her building and sit down on a chaise beside my sister and debate whether or not to go and talk to her first. No. That's probably not a good idea. I just need to clear my head right now. There will be plenty of time later - after I have talked to Max. Yeah, Max will help.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

Max and I saunter into the villa. He was here in an hour and ten minutes. Claimed that he hung up the phone and ran right out the door. He didn't pack an overnight bag or anything. Not even a toothbrush. And he ain't borrowin' mine! I asked him if he turned off the porn and he looked at me like I was an alien with 27 eyeballs. "Why would I _ever_ turn off porn?"

"Hello Max! So nice of you to join us!" My mom greets him with a friendly hug, as he walks out onto the patio. My parents love Max – at least to his face. My mom complains about him sometimes but never in a really _bad_ way.

"We've made a house rule – no talking about hockey – and you have to follow it too!" Taylor jumped to her feet and pointed her finger accusingly at Max.

"Bonjour to you too!" He laughs and looks at me. I just shrug. Max has hockey playing brothers - and is from Montreal. The idea of not talking hockey, even on vacation, for _five_ _minutes_ is probably absolutely foreign to him.

"Taylor back off of Max, he just got here!" I offer, cutting her off. "Sorry dude, she's pretty adamant…"

"Oh hey, Max… I didn't know you were coming…" Bree stepped out to the pool, from inside her building. I swallow hard. She was wearing another new bathing suit, one I hadn't seen yet. Perhaps the sexiest of them all. Shit. Well, I guess it will help Max see the problem I am dealing with. I look behind me to give him the '_See_' look and find the doofus standing there, mouth agape, not even trying to hide the fact that he is staring right at her chest.

"Max!" I hiss at him, watching Bree shift uncomfortably. I didn't invite him here to stare at her tits. He raises his hand up to his chin and comically pushes his mouth shut. My dad laughs, and Taylor rolls her eyes. My mom gives me a warning look. He's here not more then five minutes and is already getting me in trouble. Great.

"Bonjour Breanna, ca va bien?" Max purrs. Somehow he makes her name sound like a porn star's name.

"Oui, et tu?" She responds politely.

"Je suis plus qui bonne…" Max offers in his _'I'm-a-horny-dirty-frenchman_' voice. I've seen it work on some girls but I know it won't work on her. Or at least I'm pretty sure…

"That's good," Bree forces a smile and takes her place on a lounge chair beside my sister. Max watches her for a minute, with a dirty look on his face and then looks up at me, waving his face like he is overheating. He'll be legitimately overheating when she slaps him in the face for being inappropriate.

"So? Where's the bar in this place?" Max asks and I am glad for the change of subject. I'll tell him about my problem down at the bar away from everyone.

-.-

It didn't take long for Max to have three women wrapped around him and two more to drape their practically naked bodies across me. Somehow I ended up with another one of these damn potent drinks in my hand, of which I have now already consumed two since getting down to the resort's main bar. They have an uncanny ability to put me on my ass – something that the biggest men in the NHL try to do on a day to day basis but this colourful little drink has mastered.

If only my bladder could master them. I excuse myself from the group to use the hotel washroom for what seems like the twentieth time. As I get back, Max jumps up and comes to my side, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pointing at one of the young girls. She looks up and smiles suggestively. Makes me worry about what they had been talking about while I was away.

"Sid, did you know, Ashleigh there is in nursing school…" Max nudges me with a wink.

"Oh yeah? That's, um, great I guess…" I shrug. Why would I care what she does?

"Maybe she has one of those little nursing outfits…" Max attempts to whisper into my ear, but it's louder then he probably wanted and not exactly dry, as i wipe the spit out of my ear.

"Scrubs?" I ask.

"No you idiot! The short little white ones that let their boobs hang out! Seriously man, turn your dick on! Haven't you ever seen the Fredericks of Hollywood catalogue?" Max punches me in the shoulder.

I shake my head and shrug. "The only nurses outfits I know are the ones they sell in the back corner of Sears, all pastel and shit…"

"Something is wrong with you…" Max shakes his head and walks away, towards the bar.

"What?" I shrug, following behind him.

We get to the bar and Max orders another round. I waive my hand to decline but it goes ignored and another drink is plopped right down in front of me. Shit. I pick up the drink and take a little sip - you can't even taste the alcohol but you know it's in there! Max waves to a couple of girls at the other side of the bar and they wave back. He has become very popular here, in a _very_ short period of time.

The girls wander over to where we are perched on backless stools, which seem silly to have at a bar. A back is very important where drunk people are concerned. I already feel a bit more then _a bit_ tipsy. Max chats up the girls and I offer a smile and nod where appropriate but they are certainly not what I came here for. What I came he for, is back in my villa, oblivious to how I feel about her. I hate that.

More girls join the party at the bar and before I know it, Max has me doing a tequila body shot off of a girl lying on top of the bar. I think it's the nursing student. She claimed she was going to teach us how to check her pulse but I don't think I'm in the state of mind to learn anything… I take the shot and chase it with the rest of my forth or fifth fruity umbrella drink and instead work on holding my head up. The room is spinning but it may just be this girl in my lap, twirling her fingers in my hair, that is causing my head to spin. If she doesn't stop, I may throw up on her.

I reach up and pull her hand out of my hair and try and slide her out of my lap, but she bumps my bladder with her elbow and now I have to pee - again. Damn bladder. How I make it through a hockey game, I will never know!

I give the girl a more forceful shove and successfully push her out of my lap. I climb to my feet and begin to head towards the bathroom. My first step is more of a stumble then a step but I'll get there when I get there. The nurse dangles off of me and offers to help me to the bathroom but I don't think I'm _that_ drunk – I am pretty sure I can still hold my own dick. I untangle her arms from around my neck and try and push past her. Max makes some sort of joke about that not being her intention but I can only hear sloshing of liquids amassing in my body.

As I step away from the counter, I see Bree, standing at the edge of the bar, staring angrily at me. She's soooo pretty. She's wearing a cute, short, red, halter top sundress with a big white Hawaiian-like pattern and her hair is pulled up in a loose ponytail, with little curls escaping at the side. The dress is really pretty but I kinda wanna see it on the floor, crumpled beside my bed. Is that bad? When I get back from the bar, I will definitely talk to Max about how I can make that happen. Definitely. Yup. When I get back…Right now, I need to pee.

Another step. Left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot, chair, crash, shit.

I stumble and bump into a chair and fall but climb to my feet quickly-ish. The nurse jumps to my side to help me to my feet. I look up and see Bree watching me struggle and she just rolls her eyes. That's not very nice. She could offer to help.

"Your mother would like to know if you plan on surfacing from the bar to have dinner with the rest of us?" Bree asks, as she walks up to us. The nurse still won't leave me alone, trying to check my knee for damages. I swat her away but miss and hit the corner of a table.

"Owie!" Fuck! I'm drunk again!

"Want me to kiss it better?" The nurse offers, reaching for my hand. I watch the blonde nurse press her lips to my hand and can't decide if that helped or not. I don't think so…

"Sid?" Bree asks impatiently, snapping her fingers in front of my face. "Dinner?"

"Sorry… um yeah, is it that time already?" I look back up at her.

"Yeah. Yeah it is…" She nods. She doesn't sound very happy.

"Okay, sorry. We'll be right up," I offer but that doesn't seem to be the right answer or at least it doesn't seem to make her happy…

"Fine." She responds coldly and turns to walk away.

"Fine? Are you mad at me, or something?" I reach for her and grab her arm, just above the wrist, turning her back to me. It's the first contact I've had with her since the beach. Her skin feels cool in my hand, even thought it's warm out. I wanna hold her hand, tangle my fingers with hers but she whips it away from me. Maybe she could kiss my hand better. I bet it would work if she did it…

"Why would I be mad?" She asks before stomping off. Oh shit. I may not understand girls - and I may be slightly drunk - but I don't think she is telling the truth.

"Hey Max! We've got to get going, time for dinner…" I call over to where he is bent over another girl on the bar, grabbing the tequila glass that is propped in her cleavage, with his mouth.

"Ahhhh… you're leaving?" The girl whines, sitting up and spilling the salt that was lined up on her stomach all over the floor. That's bad luck… or something… there is something about salt and the ground or something… whatever.

"Um yeah, we've got to go…" I nod, sloppily waving for Max to hurry up. The nurse pouts.

"I'm sure there's room for two more! Why don't you two join us?" Max suggests to them. Uh oh. My mom hates random girls and I can already practically hear the lecture and my sister… well my sister pretty much hates all girls that I talk to. She's going to kill me.

"Yey!" The girls applaud for themselves with fake little claps. That's really annoying. Why are they doing that? Don't girls know that's annoying?

"I don't think that's a good idea man..." I offer quietly to Max but he just waves me off. I have a bad feeling about this.

"Oh come on! You are on vacation, you deserve to be in the company of lovely ladies!" He points to the two girls, standing with expectant looks on their faces.

"Umm…" I shake my head and can already see this ending poorly.

"Just trust me… would ol' Uncle Max do you wrong?"

So much for holding my ground. Shit. I might need another drink to get through this.

-.-

Dinner was a fucking disaster. I should _not_ have sobered up. I can't believe I let Max talk me into this. How drunk was I?

Taylor stormed off about half way through, said she would rather be grounded then sit through the rest of dinner. And if my mother ever talks to me again it will be a miracle. My dad went inside to make sure she is okay and not fuming too much. It's not that anything _bad_ happened, _per say_, just that maybe our choice in dinner guests weren't properly selected. Maybe_ they_ should have sobered up.

And they weren't rude or anything… just… I think my parents expect better of me. I expect better of me.

Let's just say 'Airhead' would be putting it lightly. The kinda girls that only have something between their ears if you stick it there. Come to think of it, I have a hard time believing in that nursing school story. Twenty five and still working on passing grade four math? Much more plausible.

And now… and now we just can't seem to shake them. Even as the hotel staff came in and cleared the dishes and the food away… even after all the wine was gone… they just won't leave!

"Well I guess it's time to retire for the night…" I offer, trying to get them to get the point.

"That's a good plan…" Max nods, stretching out his arms. I lift myself from the table, hopefully giving them the indication that it's time for them to go. They just sit there, like bumps on a log. Nope, they don't seem to _get_ the point. I shoot a warning look at Max, who shrugs and I can begin to see the panic in his eyes.

"Can I talk to you please?" I hiss across the table. Max climbs to his feet, untangling himself from one of our houseguests and follows me to the patio outside the dining room.

"Okay man, I think we've got ourselves some stage four clingers…" He begins and it's good to know Max agrees with me. "…which sucks because we didn't even get laid first!" Maybe not.

"You have got to get rid of them, man!" I shake my head.

"I'm working on it, okay?" He argues back.

"No, it's not okay! I have pissed off everyone! Get them out of here!" I bark, pointing inside to where my entire family is hating me right now. I shake my head and head into the villa's common room. Bree is sitting on one of the couches reading a book, her legs curled up underneath her, the red dress wrapped around her.

"So on a scale of 1 -10 how much does my mom hate me right now?" I ask with a smile, trying to judge how pissed at me she is.

Bree looks up from her book and shrugs, then returns to her reading. She was quiet all through dinner and was one of the first to excuse herself from the table. I wondered what was up but couldn't exactly chase after her. The nurse, Ashleigh, had her hand in a somewhat inappropriate place beneath the dining table and I was trying not to draw attention to it. And I couldn't really stand up in my current condition, as a result of her hand placement.

"Do you think I should go and talk to her?" I ask.

"No… I think I would leave it for now…" Bree mutters, still reading.

"Okay…" What else can I do? It's not my fault that that Ashleigh girl decided to crawl on to my lap and spoon feed me soup. And I certainly didn't ask her friend to tell my dad why she decided to be a bi-sexual. To be fair – my dad seemed fairly entertained by the whole ordeal.

"Do you mind if I turn on the T.V.?" I ask, not wanting to head back outside to where Max had promised to deal with the girls.

"Nope," she shrugs again.

"Great… thanks." I grab the remote and turn on the tube, flipping channels until I find something recognizable. ESPN Classic is replaying a Stanley Cup Final game from several years back. A Classic – Colorado vs. Philly in 2000. It's not hard for me to cheer for Ray Bourque, especially cheering against Philly.

"Hey, I think I, uh, shook them…" Max bounded into the common space very proud of himself but looking over his shoulder like he's half expecting Chuckie or a velociraptor to attack.

"Shook them?" Bree asked quizzically, as Max plopped down on the couch beside her.

"Yeah… thank god. I think I need another drink," He lifts her legs and plops them across his lap, leaning into her a bit too comfortably if you ask me.

"You guys gonna head down to the bar, so you can try again? Better luck for round two?" She retorts sarcastically.

"No… I think we are good," Max laughs, patting Bree's thigh. "Releasing the tentacles from those two was hard enough…"

"Doesn't look like the squid swam too far," Bree nodded towards the patio doors, where Ashleigh was standing, looking around the balcony.

"Oh shit! MAX!" I hiss, with half the mind to jump behind the sofa and hide.

"Hey guys, I was wondering where you went…" Ashleigh giggles as she comes inside. "Whatcha doin'?"

"Just chillin'," I shrug as she plops down in my lap. I shift and try to push her to the side but the little bitch nuzzles into me.

"So you guys just sit around and watch old games?" She asks, noticing the television screen.

"Yeah, sometimes…" I nod. "We are, after all, just a couple of really big hockey fans…"

"Well I don't really get hockey… with all the whistle blowin' and punchin' each other…" Ashleigh giggles like she expects me to think that's cute. I don't.

"Well I guess it's a complicated game…" I shrug and smile a forced smile. I try not to look up but I can feel Bree's eyes on me and not in a good way. Max on the other hand has the biggest shit eating grin on his face, like he's won some damn prize. I'm sure he's happy, he doesn't have a clinger in his lap… he has Bree. I'd be pretty happy if I had her sitting in my lap too. That's not why I asked him to come here!

"Like why do you guys even gotta fight? I watched a game one time, down in Dallas, and the guy ended up with his blood all over the ice…" She continues and I really wish she would shut up. I see Bree rolling her eyes and Max pulling his hand up to his mouth to suppress his laughter. How do I always get stuck with the airheads?

"What's that?" Ashleigh asks, as the station shows the Stanley Cup getting pulled out of the case and placed on its stand.

Oh shit. Now she's done it. Everyone in the room has turned and is now staring at me in shock.

"No. No. No. Get her out of here!" Bree jumps to her feet.

"It's not her fault…" I try and explain. "Girls from Dallas don't know hockey…"

Bree just glares at me. I don't think I have ever seen her so angry. Even at my dad.

"I am not defending it, just explaining it…" I shrug trying to keep the peace and keep Bree's brain from boiling out all over the floor. I don't like this girl any more then she does.

"Holy cow, simmer down… is hockey even really a sport?" Ashleigh asks. Now she's done it.

"Oh come on!" Bree throws her hands in the air. Max is quick to jump up beside her and fold her arms down. He's probably working pretty hard to restrain her from jumping across the room and killing our poorly chosen dinner guest. I'm just glad it was only Bree that was in the room to hear it. If my dad was in here, she would be dead already.

"Come on… let's head out for a walk," Max offers to Bree, to try and calm her down. She won't stop glaring at me. "Bonne chance!" He laughs as he steers Bree out of the room. Great! How did I get stuck with the clinger?

-.-

"AHHHHHHHHHH! What the fuck Max? Did she really just ask what the _Stanley Cup_ is? How can a girl be so fucking stupid? How can you guys even be attracted to girls like that?" I yell and stomp to the railing. I need to squeeze something and apparently, squeezing that little bitch's neck till she passes out and I can bury her body isn't an option. I tried to be as polite as I could throughout dinner but I had to leave to get away from it all. Since I stumbled upon Sid and his harem of women down at the bar, I haven't exactly felt in control of myself. When Ashleigh began demonstrating blow job techniques on her spoon, I knew that I had had enough and retired for the night. I tried to go back to my room but Taylor has music playing loudly to drown her anger and I don't want to deal with it right now. She is pissy and I am pissy and that just can't lead to good things.

"Well for the most part I am not looking for a cunning linguist…" Max shrugs.

"Max!" I slap his chest, pretending to be shocked. He's disgusting but at least he's honest.

"Quoi?"

"You're a pig!" I laugh and give him a friendly shove.

"Are you surprised?"

"Yeah right… I guess I'm just surprised that Sid is the same…" I don't know why I am surprised about that one. I keep wanting to think better of him.

"He's not but there's still time. I'm working on it…" Max laughs.

"It's not good for his reputation…" I point out. After all, the squeaky clean image of Sidney Crosby must be protected at all times.

"Those girls don't even know what the Stanley Cup is… I doubt they will be spreading the news that they had dinner with Sidney Crosby…" Max continues laughing and I guess he has a point but still…

"He needs to be careful."

"You need to relax," Max steps in closer to me and brings his hands up to my neck.

"I'm trying!" I insist. I really was! I was supposed to be on a relaxing beach vacation after all. I can't imagine what my vacation would be like thus far if I had gone camping… I feel Max's hands begin kneading the muscles in my neck and I tilt my head to the side, giving him access to a knot that I can't seem to shake.

"Maybe I can help…" He whispers in my ear and I can feel his warm breath on my neck. He's too close for comfort but he's almost worked out the knot… just a minute longer and…

"That's it, right there…" I moan. I think he's got it.

"Hey, I think I actually shook her…" I hear Sid's voice come out behind us and jump. I turn to face him and he stops in his tracks. I watch his eyes move back and forth between Max and I, trying to digest what he is seeing. "What are you guys doing?"

"Nothing," I shrug Max's hands off my shoulders. It was nothing. I wouldn't have let it go any further. His hands didn't feel as good as Sid's anyway.

"Right," He snaps, still starring at me. "I'm going to bed."

"Bon nuit," Max offers him sweetly, dropping his arm back across my shoulders.

"Fuck you," Sid whispers under his breath and storms inside. The blinds on all the other windows shake as he slams the door behind him.

"Huh. Someone's pissy," Max shrugs and turns back to me, ducking his head down and to the side, like he's coming in for landing. I don't think so! This dirty Frenchmen's lips have made their way through most of Pittsburgh and I don't plan on joining that privileged circle of idiots.

"I think I am going to head to bed myself," I say, stepping away from Max's embrace.

"I could keep you company…" He offers with a suggestive tone.

"Yeah I think I've had enough bad company for one night. Thanks though," I smile and head inside. Sleeping on the ground in Quebec is starting to sound peaceful. I take a deep breath and reach for my phone, sending Jason a quick message. Nothing important just '_Hi'_ and '_wish I was there_'. I am sure he will say '_I told you so'_ but maybe I deserve it.

-.-

I can't believe he had his hands all over her. I thought he would help me. I thought that he could at least help me make a plan that would help me. I am an idiot. He just worries about himself and his own dick.

What am I supposed to do now? What can I do? Every time I look at her, I'm going to know that he touched her, that he had her. What if he takes her down to the beach? What if they are down there right now? What if he's touching her, the way I want to touch her?

I slam my fist in the wall and watch the art work shake.

_*knock*knock*_

Shit. My mom probably heard that. Like she's not mad at me enough, now I am waking her up. My good son status has certainly taken a beating today.

I step towards the door and swing it open, already offering my mother apologies.

"Dude! Are you going to make me sleep on the couch or what?" Max pushes his way into my room and flops on the bed. I have never been so happy to see him in my life!


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

**-October 2010-**

"What the fuck are you doing out there?" Bylsma yelled, as I walked into dressing room.

"I dunno…" I shake my head in shame. Man, I wish the power in the building would go out so nobody can see how much I suck. I can practically hear Rossi stewing questions in his little pea sized brain.

"You look like ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag!"

"I know…" I nod. I hear Dan kick over a pail of pucks - the way to tell if he's really pissed - and stomp out of the room.

"I hate to be the one to say it man but…" Cooke begins.

"Then don't!" I snap. The last thing I need to know is that even my teammates think I am useless.

"Someone has to!" He yelled right back. Cooke doesn't back down to anything – on or off the ice. "Since you started banging that broad of yours, your production has been shit! You are coming in late, you are leaving early… you barely have enough energy to get through practice…"

I look around the room and watch the guys, as their eyes all drop to their feet. The only one man enough to look me in the eyes is Max and he is nodding.

"Some guys just can't handle the pussy and you my friend, are one of those guys…" Cooke finishes his lecture.

"Oh, I forgot… it's just me alone out there!" Fuck them!

"Dat is not what he is saying… we are just used to following your lead and well… your lead sucks right now…" Max tried to explain. "Believe me, I love Bree and am very happy for you but… maybe you need to take a little break from the sac…"

"I'm fine! That has nothing to do with it! Leave her the fuck out of this! Or how about this? Instead of criticizing my game, you take a little look at your own shit ass performances? Hey? How about that?"

"We are. Everyday. Are you? We are all used to sucking, having our coaches go over every last detail of our game, showing us what we are doing wrong… when was the last time someone told you you sucked?" Max asked point blank. He's wrong. The all are. This has nothing to do with Bree… I'm pretty sure…

-.-

"Hey, I didn't hear you come in…" I greet Sid as I walk into his office to drop off his mail.

"Yeah… sorry… I just… needed some quiet…" He shrugs, starring into his computer screen. He still has his shoes on, like he came in and went straight to his desk - not passing Go, not collecting two hundred dollars.

"Everything okay?" I ask, not liking his body language. He is tense and stressed, I can tell. Usually if there is a problem at the rink, someone calls and gives me a heads up. Or at least they did. I guess now I'm their captain's girlfriend and there are new rules associated with that title.

"Yeah, just a bit of a headache…" He looks up at me and I can see sadness in his eyes.

"Oh… okay, well I am just heading out for a late lunch meeting with some of the girls, so…" I explain. He nods and turns back to his screen. "Do you want me to stay?"

"No." He answers bluntly. Wow, don't sugar coat that at my expense.

"Okay. Whatcha watching?" I ask, letting his pissy-ness roll off my back.

"Um… just some game tape… see where I fucked up…" Sid explains, letting out a deep sigh and rubbing his forehead.

"Didn't you do that at the meeting this morning?" I ask innocently. I thought that's what they did on non-game days. I thought I had their entirely routine figured out.

"No. Dan didn't point out my mistakes," He explains quietly, almost embarrassed, as if he got some sort of special treatment.

"Maybe because you didn't make any?" I have never known Dan or any of the team staff to give Sid special treatment. Maybe some of the newbies that come in or some of the media but no one who knows him. Sid makes sure of that.

"I made several… more then anyone else…" He snaps.

"Oh… at least you still won the game," I shrug. "That's what matters right?"

"In overtime. That hardly counts," He argues back.

"Okay…" I can tell that I am clearly not going to win this argument and I may as well back away before he bites my head off entirely. "Well, I am going to get going then. Have fun with that…" There is not much more that I can do now, just let him sit, stew and work it out on his own.

-.-

"Well that was a nightmare," I lower my head onto the table in exasperation. I mean I didn't exactly expect to be welcomed into this circle of women with open arms but I figured they would be at least _somewhat_ civil. Surprise, surprise, Michelle seems to be leading the charge against me. She says there is no point in signing me up for any of the charitable stuff 'cause Sid will be done with me soon enough. Nice, hey? At first I just rolled my eyes and held my tongue but twenty minutes into the meeting of being ignored and told to be quiet, I had had enough! I snapped. I am not proud.

"Oui," Cheryl-lyne, Pascal's wife, nods her head. She seems to be on my side. Only a couple of them are. How high school is this?_ Her side_ and _my side_. I think the women on 'her side' are on her side either because they actually believe that I am disposable _or_ they are afraid of Michelle's wrath. I think I would side with Michelle based on fear. Her bark seems just as bad as her bite. Those who side with me are taking a gamble on me being in Pittsburgh longer then her, based on the fact that Sid is the captain, the saviour of Pittsburgh and he's not getting traded anytime soon… and they believe that we will be together for that time. Like I said, my group is small. Not a lot of believers.

"Are you going to tell Sid what happened?" Cheryl-lyne asks.

"No. He has his own problems, doesn't need to share mine…" I shake my head. I am sure this scene will come up in the dressing room and he can ask me about it if he wants but otherwise I am just going to leave it alone. It's just petty shit anyway.

"Well, make sure he fucks your brains out tonight to make up for all this shit you are dealing with just to be with him, eh? There has to be some benefit for you!" Vero laughs and hugs me.

"I will… no worries there!" I laugh and accept a friendly hug from my newest supporters on their way out.

I watch as the women collect their designer purses and say their goodbyes. I stay in my spot, deciding that I need some alone time to calm down before I drive. If Sid is at home and still in a bad mood, I don't want to get home in a bad mood myself.

The waitress comes into our private room and begins clearing the table. She looks at me and smiles, a sad smile, but still a smile. She was in the room when Michelle threw her water in my face. She was sweet and brought me more napkins but really, what else was she supposed to do in that situation?

"So, are you all wives and girlfriends of the Pens?" She asks, while stacking cups into a dish bin. "I think i recognized some of y'all..."

"Yup, that we are," I nod at the young lady. I'm sure Sid's publicist would tell me not to admit that to a total stranger but she'd probably tell me not to fight with his team mate's wives too. I don't seem to care too much about her advice.

"It must be nice," She smiles, probably imaging the dream life. The life we all think we are going to lead. Marry rich, have everything we want. No problems, no stress – cause when you have money, you don't have problems or stress right? You can just sit around and eat bonbons.

"Who's girlfriend are you?" She continues, looking up at me expectantly.

"No one important," I shrug with a smile. I am smart enough not to admit to that one.

"Really?" She asks, almost disappointed that she won't get to brag to her friends in the kitchen. "Have you met Sidney Crosby?"

I just nod. I'm afraid that if I open my mouth, I might laugh in the girl's face.

"Wow. He autographed a jersey for a friend of mine. She tried to tell us that he flirted with her but we were like, yeah right! What's he actually like?"

"He's, um, a good guy…" I offer. Actually today, he's a grumpy ass but I'm not going to go into detail.

"Yeah, I hear that a lot. You know, you hear some bad things about some of the guys on the team but you never hear anything bad about him," The girl moves to another table and begins, stacking plates into her arms. "Sometimes I wonder if that's just cause they want you to think that he is some great guy or if it's cause he really is, you know? It's good to know that he's a good guy."

I nod with a knowing smile spread across my lips. I wondered that too, several years back, before I got mixed into this crazy world.

"Was that Matt Cooke's wife that… you know…" She makes the motion of tossing water in my face. I nod again. "I kinda thought so. Kinda fitting hey?"

"Naw, Matt's a good guy. Michelle just… I dunno… doesn't like me much…" I laugh.

"I bet if you were Sid's girlfriend they would all have to like you, hey?"

Oh silly girl, how little you know. "Yeah… maybe I should try that, hey?"

She seems to think that is the funniest thought in the world, as she picks up the dish bin and heads out of the room. I drop my head back down to the table top and imagine a world, where being Sid's girlfriend was ideal as it was in the waitresses mind. So far from reality.

I hope Sid's in a better mood. I think I need to be reminded of those perks Veronique was talking about.

-.-

I have watched hours of tape. Both pre and post Bree. The guys are right. There is a definite difference to my game. Could these mistakes really be because I am tired? As if I can't handle it? I've never had this problem. Of course, I've never had a girlfriend… and I've _never_ had this much sex. All my effort, all my physical effort, has always gone into hockey. Sure there's been a blow job here and there, and a little extra curricular activity but not anything I ever put any effort into. Not like with Bree.

But there is no covering it up. In the last five games, I have one goal, two assists and so many turnovers I lost count. Last year in the first five games I had four goals, an assist and a shoot out winner. We also had four wins under us by then. We are closer to four loses right now and we play Philly again tomorrow night. I can't let them win. I hate their smug faces when they win and want to personally face wash each one of them. Ninety percent of the team could probably take me, hands down, no contest, so I won't be doing anything stupid but I'll definitely _think_ bad things… and the worst thing I can do is beat them. And it doesn't look like I can do it in my current situation.

I guess, there is only one way to find out.

No sex tonight.

Bree will understand.

-.-

"That's the guy we've missed!" Jordan claps my shoulder as I head into the visitor's dressing room. What the fuck does he know? Sitting up in the press box, probably flirting with everything in a skirt that walks by, he's not paying attention to the game! Maybe tonight was just a fluke? Maybe it had nothing to do with me?

I mean, sure, I got two goals and an assist on our way to securing the win but everyone was inspired. It had nothing to do with me. This is Philly! Everyone plays better when we play the Flyers. There is nothing like wiping the smug faces of those Philly fans, especially with a 5-1 blowout. Let them limp back to their dressing room and lick their wounds. Everyone in _this room _is ecstatic.

That is everyone except me.

Sure, I wanted the win but I kinda also didn't. I wanted them all to be wrong. I wanted them to know that I can play and still manage to carry on a sex life, that it wasn't affecting my on-ice performance one bit.

Whatever. One win does not prove their point.

-.-

Shit.

One goal, one assist against Ottawa and two goals and one assist against Nashville. Eight points in three games since I cut out sex. Not even my penis can argue with that – and my penis argues with a lot of things!

I guess there is only one way to find out.

St. Louis isn't that far. Bree could probably be there before I even get there. I'll just give her a call…

-.-

"Hi," She greets me with a roll of her eyes and pushes past me into the hotel suite. "I can't believe you really just called in a booty call!"

"Shhh!" I check the hall before closing the door and make sure it's locked. The last thing I need is anyone knowing what I am doing. It's not exactly against the rules but I can't imagine what the guys would say if they found out. I would never hear the end of it.

"Did you just shush me? For real? Oh, I am going to scream your name at the top of my lungs now!" She teases me. Or at least I hope she's teasing. Or maybe I don't...

"I didn't mean to shush you, I just, don't exactly need the guys knowing how sad I am."

"And horny?"

"I can't help it. I mean, have you seen you? Damn," I look her head to toe. The trench coat and the high heel leather boots just do it for me. She could be wearing my grandma's muumuu underneath, but on the surface she looks hot.

"My trench coat? Really? That turns you on?" She asks mockingly. I nod. I can't help it. I guess I've seen too many porno's where the girl comes in with a trench coat done up really tight and then has something super skanky underneath. That never happens in real life – which if you ask me is really a shame.

"Well, sir," Bree pokes my chest and smiles at me. "If you like my trench, you are really going to like this…"

Nooooo…

I watch her slowly untie the belt on her coat, in utter shock, and lick my lips as her slender fingers work the large beige buttons, opening them one by one, agonizingly slow. I resist every urge to jump forward and rip the jacket off her body. That jacket is Burberry. I know how much it cost. I ain't rippin' it.

I somehow manage to look away from the jacket and up to her face momentarily and see her biting her lip suggestively. This is really happening. It's like my very own porno. I can feel my dick twitching in excitement.

Bree undoes the last button and lets the jacket hang open, exposing a black lace corset with ties up the front, pressing her boobs to the sky and those stocking things that clip in. All I can do is gulp. I was going to give this up? Yeah right. Not even for hockey…

"You like?" She asks me coyly, while she drops her coat on the floor and I don't need to respond with words. I practically charge her, picking her up and dropping her on the bed in one quick smooth movement. I move over top of her, pressing my lips to her hungrily. She brings her legs up and wraps them around my back, as I move my hand over her body, exploring the textures of her outfit, debating whether I want to fuck her in it, or rip it off her. My hand reaches her thigh and I feel the cool smoothness of her flesh and make my decision. I pull back from her lips and begin unlacing the corset. She watches me struggle as my fingers just can't seem to work together to get anything done. For some reason they don't seem to be receiving messages from my brain - I think it might be preoccupied with something else. I finally pull the satin ribbon from its last loop and I push the corset away from Bree's chest, letting her milky breasts spill free. I lower my lips back to hers and run my fingers softly over her nipples, tracing small circles around her areolas, something I have learnt drives her crazy. I hear small moans escape from her and want to hear more. I slip my fingers down between her legs, dragging them through her slit until they are coated with her silky fluids, then press them up inside her, curling them just slightly. She releases more of those little moans, as she arches her pelvis into my hand and I pump my fingers into her. The moans aren't screams and suddenly, I want screams.

I pull back from her, much to her displeasure, as she opens her eyes and glares at me like I slapped her grandma, but her expression softens as she realizes that it won't be for long. She watches me fumble to push my pants down and pull my shirt up over my head. My head gets stuck in the hole because I needed to undo the top button on the polo and it takes a few seconds longer to get the damn thing off but I am free now and that's what matters!

As soon as my head pops free, I look down and see Bree laughing at me. Laughing is not screaming or moaning and therefore unacceptable in this current situation. I grab her behind the knees and pull her across the bed, pushing her panties aside and burying myself, balls deep in her hot, tight pussy.

She's not laughing now.

I hold her legs and use them for leverage as I pump my cock into her. She digs her nails into the bed, as her head thrashes from side to side, her back arches up and I can feel her clamping her pussy muscles around me. I pull my dick back, almost out and then slam it into her, full force and she yelps. Almost a scream. I do it again and get the same result.

"You said you were going to scream my name," I growl in frustration.

"What?" she gasps, looking up at me, unable to catch her breath as I am still moving my dick inside her.

"Scream my name…" I instruct her, as I lean forward, pressing my lips to hers, pulling her in tight to my body and slamming my pelvis into her. I increase my tempo, drilling away. I know I can't hold my load at this pace but god damn it, she is going to come and scream my name if it's the last thing I do!

I can feel her tightening up around me and slip my fingers down again, running them over her clit, to bring her around to home plate.

"Oh my god," she gasps, as I flick that little nub of nerve endings. Or at least, I am pretty sure I've got it right anyway…

"Oh fucking hell! Oh my god! Yes, yes, Sid yes! SIDNEY! Ahhhhh!"

Yup, I've got it right. She clamps down on my cock and her nails come up and dig into my back. Fuck, I love that.

"Fuck, fuck, _FUCK_!" And it's over. I feel my balls coil up and drain, as I let out my own deep cry of release.

"Damn," I sigh as I roll off her. And now I get a good night's sleep and play my ass off tomorrow.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

My first instinct was to slap him for calling me to St. Louis for a booty call but a bigger part of me was relieved. He's barely even kissed me in a week and I was worried that I had done something wrong. I mean when we first started, _you know_, he wanted me all the time. He would walk in the door and I would be naked and satisfied shortly thereafter… but something happened and then nothing. It's like he turned off. I would be lying if I said I wasn't getting worried.

So yeah, as much as I was pissed about the booty call, I was more glad. Thus the slutty lingerie. It took me over twenty minutes to get into it in the hotel lobby bathroom – God knows I wasn't about to fly in it! – and only one minute for Sid to get it off and discarded on the floor. I'm not complaining. It was _really_ uncomfortable. But I hope he knows it's not going to be a regular occurrence.

Sid stirs and stretches as the alarm goes off on the table beside the bed. I can't believe it's already morning. I feel like I just climbed off of him, I can still practically feel him in me. I can handle once maybe twice in a night but that never seems to satisfy Sid. He wants more every time. I am not complaining but my vag is – it's just not up to this pace yet.

"You awake?" Sid asks, pressing his lips to my forehead.

"Mmmhmmm…" I nod, rolling onto my stomach and pressing myself up onto my elbows.

"Mmm… I love that view," Sid sighs, as he looks down between my elbows, at my breasts pressing against the sheets.

"Don't you have somewhere you need to be?" I ask, rolling my eyes. I'll pretend it annoys me but I love when he looks at me. It gives me goosebumps.

"Yeah, breakfast, downstairs," He yawns and stretches.

"Can I come?" I ask as he swings his thick legs over the edge of the bed and climbs to his feet.

"No… you should order room service," Sid instructs me, reaching for his boxers. "Whatever you want, k?"

"You don't want the guys to know I'm here, do you?" I can't believe it took me this long to figure it out. The shushing, the muffling me mid orgasm last night, the bedroom for one, _sans roommate_, which is really unusual... I mean, I know that he would face some heckling from the team mates but he should be used to it by now. There must be more to this then just facing some teasing.

"Something like that," Sid just shrugs, looking back over his shoulder at me.

"Am I not supposed to be here?"

"No, no… nothing like that," He shakes his head convincingly. "I'm just testing out a theory."

"Not some stupid superstition right?" Oh my god! Like he needs any more superstitions! I used to like threatening to lick his hockey sticks before the game but I think he has so many superstitions so that if someone messes with one, such as having the nerve to touch his precious hockey sticks, he has a couple dozen more to fall back on. I always assumed that the superstitions he's _actually_ serious about, he would never tell anyone about anyway. That's just the way he is.

"Not exactly," He shrugs, pulling on the rest of his clothes. "I should get going though. Do you want to come to the game tonight or did you want to head straight home?"

I stare up at him then finally manage to spit out an answer. "I, um, I dunno…" I know it's not exactly an answer but I don't know how to respond to that. I knew he was calling me for sex but I really didn't think that he would kick me out right away. It kinda makes me wonder how many girls he does this with. I feel really cheap right now.

"I can get you tickets but I won't have any time to see you or anything and we head to Tampa right after the game, so…" He explains.

"So, I should just go then…" I look down at my hands, not really knowing what else to do.

"Hey, I don't want to upset you," Sid moves back across the room, to where I am sitting on the bed, still naked and wrapped in the hotel standard issue white sheet.

"No, I get it. It's fine." That's a lie. "I'll probably be gone before you get back from breakfast."

Sid just nods and grabs his room key, kisses me on the forehead and leaves. I doubt he even notices I am upset. It's a good feeling.

-.-

I walk into our hotel suite in Tampa and look around. Just another room. Just another night. I don't know what I was expecting – Bree to be here waiting for me? She should have never come to St. Louis. It was a stupid idea in the first place. I walk over to the bed by the window – the bed I always take – and throw my bag down on it. Dupper follows behind me and immediately opens and closes every drawer in the room. People think my superstitions are weird? The guy is OCD about drawers. I don't even know what he is looking for. Most of the time I just laugh and shake my head but today it is pissing me off for no particular reason. I undo my tie and throw it down on the bed, debating whether or not I should go for a jog to try and calm down. How lost could I get in Tampa Bay? Hmmm… probably not a good idea. I can see the headlines already - _'Superstar hockey player gets eaten by alligator in Florida'. _Maybe I'll just try and go to sleep.

"So what was that?" Dupuis asks, plopping down on his bed.

"What?" I ask, looking around. Did he find something in a drawer?

"You smashed your stick in the tunnel. You think no one saw that?" He laughs. I roll my eyes. Five hours ago, I smashed my stick and he's talking about it like I did it right here. How the fuck was I supposed to know what he was talking about? _Shit..._

"I was frustrated. In case you didn't notice, we lost." I remind him, trying to act like it was nothing. I don't really want to get into the details of my frustration right now.

"Don't give me that shit, little man," I hate when he calls me '_little man'_. He's not _that_ much taller then me…

"Then don't give _me _shit!" I snap. I don't think I've ever snapped at Pascal like that before. I am losing control. "I'm sorry… really it's nothing…"

"It's not nothing. I'm your teammate. It's my job to ask you about things like this," He explains with a shrug, accepting my apology and reaching for the remote for the TV.

"There is nothing to ask about. We lost, _again_, and I was frustrated. It's that simple," I lie, sitting on the corner of the bed, facing away from him. Nothing is ever that simple.

"We've lost a lot and you don't tend to respond like that, is all," He pushes, muting the TV, waiting for my response.

"What the fuck do you want me to say?" I ask, shrugging.

"I want you to tell me what the fuck is going on."

He knows. He knows something is going on and there is no point lying to him. But I seriously would rather go to sleep. "It's nothing, you wouldn't understand." I offer lightly, brushing it off. I pull my sweater off and dig into my bag to grab my toothbrush. Maybe he'll get the point.

"You are probably right. Being a single millionaire, women throwing themselves at me, having potentially the most beautiful woman, other then _my wife_, waiting for me to come home – " Dupper continues but stops bluntly. "Ohhhhhh… so it's Bree?"

"What?" I snap, looking up at him.

"You tensed when I mentioned her," He points out.

"What are you talking about? You're nuts. I didn't tense. It was a muscle spasm... yeah, a muscle spasm..." I stutter out the most bullshit answer that has ever left my lips - and I have given _a lot_ of bullshit answers in my time.

"Dude, you tensed. What's going on?"

I look at him and he is dead serious. Talking about Bree was the last thing I wanted to do tonight. I just wanted to come back to the hotel room, zone out, watch some highlights from the other games and then turn off the lights and get a good night's sleep. Now Dupper is looking at me and I know he won't let me brush this one off.

"We're just trying to figure things out right now…" Will that answer satisfy him? At least it's partially true...

"Because of what Cookie said?" he asks, as if it's the most ridiculous notion in the world. Everyone was thinking it but Matt was the only one in the room with the balls to say it.

"No, not exactly…" I shrug, not because its the right answer but I know it's the answer that will end this converation the quickest. If only it came out sounding at least a little more convincing.

"You know it was just bullshit right… I mean, yeah, you kinda sucked but you've shaken it," He assures me but I roll my eyes. "I mean, yeah sure, you sucked tonight but we're on the road. You can't blame Bree out here…"

"Yeah… about that…" I offer hesitantly, looking up at him with a bit of an embarrassed look.

"What you can't even handle phone sex?" He laughs hysterically.

"I, uh, don't know… I've never…" I stutter. Wow, he totally missed the point. Probably because it was so stupid, he couldn't even imagine me doing it. "She was here last night…"

That stopped his laughing quickly, as he stares at me in total shock. "Whoa, dude, what?"

"I needed to test it, to see ya know?" I shrug, hoping he'll see my logic and stop looking like I beat up his kids. He's pissed. "Dude…"

"Test what?" He snaps at me.

"To see if I could handle it…" I shrug. Jesus, why is he so pissed? It's not like I fucked him!

"She isn't fucking science class!" He shrieks at me. "So what, you called her here for a booty call? Seriously dude, I thought you were better then that!"

"I needed to know!" I defend myself. "It's not something I plan on making a habit of. I think she understood…"

I watch as Pascal shakes his head at me like a disappointed father. I can't even imagine what my actual father would say to me. "And? Did you figure it out?"

"Yeah I guess… we lost right? I guess I can't do it. Every time I – _we_ – have sex, I can't get it together on the ice…"

"Well? What the fuck are you gonna do about it? Become a monk?" Dupper ask with a smug laugh. I don't think its funny.

"No! But, I dunno…" I haven't exactly had a lot of time to think about it.

"Well Bree has her fair share of problems back in the Burgh. So I wouldn't go causing any problems there…" He warns me, shaking his head.

"What do you mean?"

"You don't know?" He asks, shocked again. "Shit man, you need to talk to your girl! You've got some series communication issues!"

"I don't have time for it… I have to figure out my own shit. I am sure Bree can handle it," I offer and get another disappointed look from my long time roommate.

"Well the thing about being in a relationship is that there are now two of you. She's there to help you and you should be there for her," Pascal begins his lecture mode.

"I know what being in a relationship means, okay?" I growl. "I never said I would be any good at it but I know what it means…" I bury my head in my hands and lower it to my lap. I thought that once I had her everything would fall into place. I never in a million years thought that this would ever be a problem. And I hate that it is because it's one of those problems that's 100% my fault and I even though I know what I have to do, I really don't want to. I have made a lot of sacrifices for hockey but this one - this one is going to be the hardest of all.

"I'll do better here in Tampa, I promise," I sigh and look up expect a satisfied look from my team mate but instead Dupuis just looks at me with a frown and nods. I think I prefer fatherly disappointment to pity.


	27. Chapter 27

_*Sorry everyone, busy time of year! Sad to hear our boy won't be ready for Vancouver but i hope he's ready by the time he comes to Winnipeg! Not words for my level of excitement!_

**Chapter 27**

"Would you like another glass of wine, sir?" The waiter asks, approaching our table to clear our plates. I wasn't really in the mood to make dinner, so I was more then happy when Sid suggested going out for dinner. They play Philly tomorrow, so I was a bit surprised, as he normally likes to stay home and zone out before important games. I would definitely say that playing Philly equals an important game and I think he needs to zone out more then normal because he came home from his road trip in a particularly foul mood. I get that they lost a lot but he seems to be taking it worse then normal.

"No. Thanks though," Sid waives him off.

"Mame?" The waiter turns to me.

"Do you mind if I finish the bottle?" I ask Sid. After all, I have had significantly more then my fair share.

"No, go for it…" He gives me the all clear and I am grateful that he is driving. I watch the waiter pour the dark liquid into my glass then eagerly lift it to my lips. Sid really can pick a wine. I guess it helps that he doesn't have to think about the cost… I am trying to train myself to not even look at the prices but it's a hard habit to break for someone who has been budget conscious her whole life.

"I love date night…" I smile over at him.

"Yeah?" He smiles but reaches into his suit jacket pocket for his phone and begins to check his messages. Apparently, my attempt to engage him in a conversation all night isn't as entertaining as TSN updates.

"Is everything okay? You seem really distant," I ask, trying to sound concerned and not pissed off – even though I am…

"No, everything is fine… it's just…" Sid begins but stops himself, shaking his head like he doesn't want to talk to me. I reach out and place my hand on top of his, hoping to encourage him to share what's bothering him with me. I feel like he did before we became a couple and now, for some reason, he has pulled back. Closed up. Shut down.

"The team is losing…I get that…" I offer, hoping that it will spark the conversation we need to have.

"Yeah but…" He just continues to shake his head.

"It's not your fault…" I know that's what he's thinking!

"It might be…" He pulls his hand out from under mine and crosses his arms over his chest.

"Sid! That's ridiculous!" I protest his argument.

"I don't want to talk about it." Sid hisses through grit teeth.

"Okaaaaayyy… what do you want to talk about then?" I ask bluntly. "You've barely said ten words tonight…"

"I didn't realize I had to entertain you. Would you like me to sing and dance?" He glares back. There is actual anger in his eyes and it throws me off guard. That is certainly not a look I have ever been on the receiving end of.

"No… I just… never mind…" I back down, feeling defeated.

"Can I bring either of you a dessert menu?" The waiter reappears with a friendly smile. He couldn't have worse timing.

"No, just the bill please," Sid barks at the waiter, who was even surprised by Sid's uncharacteristic tone. I mouthed an apology as the waiter nodded cautiously and backed away.

Sid paid the bill and I followed a couple paces behind him as he marched out the front of the restaurant and towards the car. We sit in silence the whole way home. He is clearly pissed about something but I doubt it has anything to do with me. We haven't spent anytime together, so it's pretty hard for me to have done something wrong. I guess he'll talk when he's ready. The most I can do is stay out of the way and offer to do the one thing I know cheers him up.

When we get home and walk into the house, Sid disappears immediately into his office and closes the door behind him. I head into the kitchen, where my laptop is open on the counter and check my email. Waiting for me is an email from Sid's publicist and three from his stylist, who is sending me outfit suggestions as she tries to pin down '_my style_' prior to our meeting in Toronto before HBO starts filming. My plan is to stay far away from all that, but in case something comes out, everyone wants me to look put together and _'Sid-appropriate'_, whatever that means. I guess no more sweatpants...

'_He has an image to upkeep, you know?_' His publicist loves to remind me. I roll my eyes as I open the stylist's emails and look at the boring clothes. Apparently the image to upkeep is the boring, pastel country club image. Whatever. As long as the clothes are comfortable, I don't care. A part of me wants to show up for our meeting in a flamboyant yellow Betsy Johnston dress circa 1985 and see what she says. Or some bar star hooker-esque clothes and really blow her mind. I know I won't… but it would be funny. Certainly make her work for her money. With the budget Sid gave her to rebuild my wardrobe with high end fashions, I could buy half a shopping mall! And quite frankly, I would rather just go to the mall and buy my own clothes.

I close my laptop and prep coffee for tomorrow morning, then put away the few clean dishes left in the dishwasher. Very domestic. I switch off the kitchen light and wander down the hall to Sid's office, knocking gently on the door. I don't hear any response, so I quietly push open the door and step inside. Sid is sound asleep in his desk chair, his computer re-playing last night's game against Tampa. I think he has watched it now, like ten times. Something must have happened to make him obsess like this. If it did, it went undetected by me and I doubt I would get an answer out of him. I press stop on the video and close the screen gently.

"Sweetie, come to bed," I whisper in his ear and run my fingers through his hair. His eyes open slowly and he yawns and stretches.

"No… I just wanna watch the game one more time…"

"I think you have watched it enough for one day…" I assure him.

"No…" He argues mid yawn.

"Maybe I could entice you to come to bed?" I whisper, lowering my lips to his and pressing gently against him. I slide my hand down his chest and between his legs, feeling for his package beneath his dress pants. He just woke up, so it's already at half mast, making my job that much easier.

"NO! Stop it!" Sid grabs my arm and all but throws it away.

"Oh, come on… you clearly need to relax…" I protest with a smile.

"No! I need to watch the game!" He snaps, reaching past me to prop open his laptop again.

"Sid…" I purr, reaching up to undo my shirt buttons, exposing the new lace bra I just bought.

"Bree go to bed!" He demands, not even looking at what I am un-wrapping. He pushes me off his lap and points to the door. "I'll be up when I am done here…"

I stand in shock, blinking at him in utter confusion. He has never turned me down. "But Sid..."

"GO!" He yells, slamming his fist into his desk.

"Okay! I'm going…" I turn and walk towards the door, stopping and looking back at him, as he runs his hands through his hair in frustration and opens his laptop back up and presses play.

-.-

I waited, lying awake for him to come to bed for what seemed like hours. I watched the time on the clock tick by. 1 o'clock, 2 o'clock, 3 o'clock… he never came upstairs. I must have dosed off at some point because I woke up with drool crusted to my cheek and could hear the sound of the shower going. I look over at the pillow beside me and notice that the sheets haven't been un-tucked on his side. He must have slept downstairs or in the guest room.

I sit up when I hear the shower turn off and wait for Sid to come out of the bathroom. He walks out with a towel wrapped around his waste and another one running through his dark curls. He doesn't even notice me, as he heads into his closet, flipping on the light. I watch him get dressed into his work out gear. When he comes back after practice, and after his all important nap, he'll change into his suit. I love watching him get dressed in a suit. He is so meticulous about every detail, even though he will be taking it all off for his workout gear as soon as he gets to the arena. I always liked a guy in a suit.

He comes out of the closet in his track pants and Penguins issued workout t-shirt and flips off the light.

"Good morning," I offer sweetly, as he seems to still not notice me.

"Oh hey… sorry… I didn't mean to wake you up…" He mutters, stepping back into the bathroom. I watch his reflection in the mirror as he squirts some hair gel into his hand and runs it threw his little curls. I want to run my hands threw his curls…

He comes back into the bedroom and heads over to his dresser on the far side of the bed.

"Where did you sleep?" I ask curiously, watching his dig around in the top drawer.

"Downstairs," He offers nonchalantly, as he slips his wallet into his pants. Like _that's_ nothing.

"Oh, okay," I offer, not really knowing what else I can say.

"I'm gonna get going. Philly tonight, so…" He explains, heading towards the door. "…need to prep. Really concentrate and stuff…"

"Not even a kiss goodbye?" I ask, trying not to sound too needy. He gets to the door and pauses. I see him raise his hand to his face and rub his forehead. I didn't realize kissing me was so stressful.

"Yeah, of course. I'm sorry, I'm just distracted," He turns back to me and quickly presses his lips to mine. I reach up to touch his face, encourage him to linger for just a second but he grabs my wrist and pulls away quickly. He turns around and heads to the door and I am left alone, sitting in his bed wondering what the fuck has happened.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

"So after tonight, the boys are gone for awhile but then they are home for quite a while. Will be nice to have them home, no?" Vero looks over at me, as I pass her a spool of ribbon. We are wrapping baskets of the boy's favourite things for a silent auction for the Children's Hospital. The one activity that I have been _allowed_ to help with thus far. I won't complain. I am an excellent basket wrapper. Could have gone pro but I saved myself for the Olympics.

"Um… yeah… it's been a while so…" I agree, adjusting the basket's contents of Aaron Asham's basket. Very Canadian – Tim Horton's coffee, the movie '_Strange Brew'_ – which I love, fruit loops, chocolate bars and Scrabble. Classic.

"It has been _way_ too long," Vero sighs, as she cuts a long stream of ribbon while I gather the basket wrap around the top. "A girl has needs, if you know what I mean…"

"Mmmhmmm…" She doesn't have to tell me. The night in St. Louis was the only time in weeks now. I kinda thought last night we would but… nope. He slept in the office. I haven't told Vero about that. It's kinda embarrassing. And after the Flyers tonight, they set out on a four game road trip which ends in Phoenix ten days from now. If they don't get a better winning record while on the road, I am expecting Sid to be in a flat out shitty mood when they get back. So as great as it will be to have them home, at least while they are away I don't have to deal with his moodiness after a loss. It becomes his room mate's problem.

"Oh come on, he'll be better soon," Vero assures me, as if knowing exactly what I am thinking.

"I just wish I knew why he was so miserable. I wish he would talk to me," I grumble picking up our finished basket and reaching for the next one - Brent Johnson's. A lovely collection of Winter Classic paraphernalia, caramel popcorn and Lindt chocolate. I debate sneaking the chocolate out… would anybody really notice?

"Yeah… I could understand that…" Vero nods.

"I am so used to him telling me everything that…" I stop myself mid sentence. Who else does Sid tell everything to? And who does _that_ someone tell everything to. I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner. "You know, don't you?"

"Pardon?" She looks up at me, her eyes wide, like she was caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

"You know why Sid is in such a bad mood!" I can tell by her lack of denial that I am right. "You need to tell me!"

"I can't Bree. You need to talk to Sid…" She turns away from me and heads over to the supplies table to change her ribbon.

"I can't talk to him! I have tried - _believe me_, I have tried! He won't talk. He just gets frustrated and storms off. You need to tell me! If I knew what was happening…"

"I can't…" Vero shakes her head adamantly. I get that she is trying to protect Marc's trust but this is more important.

"Please V," I plead desperately. Right now she is my only hope. "I'm afraid that if I can't get through to him… that… well… that Michelle will be right. He'll get tired of dealing with me and having me around nagging him. He won't even touch me. He slept in his office last night! I don't know what to do!"

"Ohhhh… ohhhh…" She waives her hands in the air in panic.

"I'm sorry. I know this is hard for you but… please…" I make my last attempt to get through to her.

"It's you." Vero offers bluntly. It's only two words but it felt like a bomb going off in the room.

"What?" I gasp, unable to say anymore. My chest is heavy and I feel tears about to poor over. It's one thing to suspect it, it's another to hear it out loud.

"He thinks that you are bad luck or something," Vero attempts to explain. "I don't know exactly but something about every time you have sex, he can't play…"

"WHAT?" I hiss. As I hear her explain it, my emotions do a 180. I was upset. Now I am pissed. Really Sid? _Really_? Vero just shrugs sympathetically. "All this bullshit has been about some stupid superstition?"

"It's not really a superstition. I mean, if it's true…" Vero reminds me.

"It's not true! What happened to it being a team game?" I snap.

"I know… but you know Sid. He takes everything so seriously and the guys are bugging him about it, so…"

"The guys are all – oh my god! I told him not to say anything about us! If he had kept his god damn mouth shut, no one would know and… oh my god… if you know, then… _they _all know, don't they?" I look over at the baskets on the table and think about all the wives gossiping about me. Everyone knew. Everyone but me… wow.

"Bree… he just didn't want to bother you with it. And don't worry about them," She waives her hand at the baskets. "If it wasn't this then they would just find something else to gossip about you…"

"I know but it doesn't make this any easier," I bury my face in my hands and feel Vero wrapping her arms around my shoulders. I hear the door to the players lounge open and immediately sit up, wipe the tears from my cheeks and put on my game face, as one of the PensTV personalities crosses the room, giving Vero a little smile. Most of the press are probably still outside the team locker room, after their morning skate but I guess you never know when one is lurking and I refuse to have the first published picture of me being me crying. I can cry more in the privacy of my home later.

"Okay, let's get these baskets done…" I say, squaring my shoulders and heading back to the basket wrap. Vero nods and follows me, grabbing another basket – Sid's. A collection of Sidney Crosby Christmas ornaments, a couple books, '_Frosty the Snowman'_ movie, and a collection of chocolates he insists he doesn't eat but is never too far away from. "Maybe pick a different basket… I don't know how nice of a job I would do on his right now. How about Rupper's? It looks more fun…"

"Sure… I'll grab it…" Vero understands and puts Sid's basket back on the table, instead grabbing the kid friendly pack, filled with games and snacks for a family game night. Rupp is the biggest kid in the group, so it was no surprise when this one showed up.

"Please don't be mad at Sidney," Vero asks as she places the new basket down on the table in front of me.

"He has some explaining to do…" I explain to her. And I plan on getting an answer.

-.-

I stand in the hall outside the meeting room Dan told me Sid was in, waiting for him to emerge. I am surprised that he is taking so long. It's a game day and he needs to get home for his pre-game nap. His agent should know that. I was actually shocked when Pat showed up with Sid's publicist in tow. He should know better but I guess if it was important, Sid is leaving after the game tonight for quite some time, so now is the best bet to get a hold of him.

I look down on the time on my phone and let out a slow breath, smiling as Godard and Staalze walk by, heading home for their own naps. They are scratches for tonight's game, so they are less worried about maintaining their routines. Sid is anal retentive about his routine and I don't need him blaming me for this one too. I step across the hall and reach up to knock on the door but the door isn't entirely closed and as I make initial contact the door pushes open a tad. I freeze in spot, waiting for someone to come and give me the angry stare down but no one comes, so I reach forward and try and pull the door shut.

"_Sidney, we have talked about this a hundred times!"_ I can hear Pat demand, his fading French accent coming through as a sign of his frustration. "_You think that you're still going to be the no. 1 jersey sale, no. 1 in women's clothing sales, if you are in a relationship?" _

I pause at the door and debate walking away, as I don't like what I just heard but am drawn in to here what Sid argues back.

"_I thought about that but…" _

"_But?" _

"_But I… I… I dunno…"_ I hear his stutter. Not the answer I was hoping for.

"_You don't know? Are you willing to risk all this on 'I don't know' ?"_ I hear Pat snap. _"I thought we discussed the type of girl you need to be with. I have gone out of my way to arrange meetings between you and appropriate girls… and you pick your parents secretary?"_

"_She's not a secretary_…" I hear Sid offer meekly. Not exactly a ringing endorsement of our relationship.

"_Whatever. The point is that you have an image to maintain and some nobody is not a part of it!" _

"Come on Sid," I mutter under my breath. I can't believe he is just sitting there, taking this. I thought… I thought he would fight for me. I thought he loved me.

I decide that I have heard enough and step back from the door. I hold back another round of tears, as I make my way towards the parking garage. I don't know where I am going to go but… I can't be here and I can't see him.

-.-

Vero heads inside for another drink, as I watch the dying seconds of the game tick away. I sat in my seat the whole time, almost afraid to head into the suite, as that meant passing the wives. I have been more then aware of their little glances and whispers in the past but now, knowing that they really are talking about me and I am not just paranoid, it's almost too much to take.

Instead I sit and watch the guys flounder on the ice all on my own. They came close, getting their second goal in a three-two defeat with only forty-five seconds left. It looked like Sid was more determined to ever to get the tying goal at the end but it just never came. I just sat back in my seat in the wives box and smirked to myself. I think the only person who noticed it was Vero and she gave me an understanding nod. The loss sucks for her, as Fluery's inconsistency continues, so does her drought but it's good for me, cause it proves that Sid's inability to score has nothing to do with me. And I plan on letting him know.

I didn't go home at all this afternoon. I went for a walk in the park to clear my head. The beautiful fall colours remind me of home and make me a little homesick. I definitely wouldn't be dealing with any of this shit if I was home… I'd have a whole different pile of it to deal with. Thinking of that scratches out any homesickness and makes me appreciate where I am for the most part. And besides - the end of October at home probably means there is already snow everywhere. And not the pretty stuff either. The slushie, hard to walk through stuff. The pretty stuff comes later.

And that's the reason I decided to come to the game tonight at all. It might be bad but it could always get worse. I just have to tough it out. The pretty stuff will come.

As the crowds clear from the arena I make my way down to the dressing rooms. Most of the women head home or to the players lounge to wait but I am still not in the mood to be social and the boys fly out tonight, so if I am going to talk to him, it's now or in two weeks.

"Well we didn't have sex last night and you still lost, so I guess it isn't me, is it?" I greet him sweetly, walking up to him in the halls outside the player's dressing room. Is it bad that I have never been so happy for a loss in my life?

"Keep your voice down!" He hisses at me, grabbing my arm and pulling me off to the side.

"Why? Cause the guys might hear? They all know. They are all talking about it behind your back to their wives, who then talk about it behind my back. They are fucking laughing at me! I'm a fucking joke to them! Did you know they are taking bets on how long I last, until you dump me?" I relay the information I collected from Vero during the game. It was an uncomfortable game, to say the least. Vero held my hand when roars of laughter would erupt, knowing full well that it was about me. "And I didn't know because you don't fucking talk to me!"

"What do you want me to say?" He hisses, beads of sweat still dripping from his face, a result of his post-game workout.

"I want you to tell me what the problem is! I am your girlfriend! I deserve to know!"

"The problem? You want to know what the problem is?"

"Yes!" I yell, infuriated that this seems so hard for him to understand.

"The problem is YOU!" He yells back inches from my face.

I let a sob out and raise my hands to my mouth. He might has well have slapped me in the face. I know Vero had told me that earlier but hearing it from him is somehow so much worse. I guess I was hoping that maybe, she was wrong. Maybe it was other things... but no.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that," Sid offers softly, reaching out for me.

"No, it's fine," I step back from him, out of his range, holding my hands up in defeat. I don't think I could handle him touching me right now. I just need to leave. "Have a good road trip," I offer, turning and heading to where I left my car.

"Bree! Don't leave!" I hear Sid call from behind me but it's too late. "BREE!"

I get around the corner to the player's parking lot and collapse against the wall, tears streaming down my face. This cannot be happening. I think it got worse.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

The win in Carolina felt good. I needed something to feel good. It would have been better if Flower was in net, given him a little boost but it was a win none the less. The two helpers were good too, I guess. Made me feel like I can contribute again. I will be the first to admit I am still distracted by my fight with Bree. I feel like shit about it but I was pretty glad that no one was around in the hall behind the dressing room to see that. If someone had managed to get a picture or a sound bite… shit. All hell would break loose and Pat would be back in here, chewing off my other ass cheek. Apparently, he doesn't think that Bree is right for me and I have no interest in trying to convince him. _I know_. I am sure of it and that's all that matters. I don't need his fucking approval. He needs to remember who pays who.

"See what happens when you don't fuck your girl? We win games…" Cookie laughs, stripping out of his gear, now that the post-game media has cleared out. I choose not to respond to that. He, and probably others, thought we lost the game against the Flyers because I choose to get some over the best interests of the team and I haven't heard the end of it since. They could not have been further from the truth. The first time they brought it up, I listened. I made the necessary adjustments. But anyone who thinks I have some outstanding sex life right now needs a serious wakeup call. I guess they could just ask Bree…

I know I have to learn to take Matt's ribbing because heaven forbid he gets traded to another team. This is him as my team mate, so I couldn't imagine him on an opposing team.

Whatever. I'll figure it out. We've got three more games on this road trip and I would like to get home with a couple more W's under us.

-.-

I can't even hear the crowd, the blood is pounding in my ears that loudly. And it's not cause I have skated that hard, or am out of breath or anything. Right now it's just pure frustration. I think I left my teammates back in Pittsburgh and instead brought a collection of sad sacks with me to Dallas. If I could personally slap each and every one of them in the face on this bench right now, I would. I just don't get it. We won a fucking Stanley Cup and that seems to be good enough for these guys. Well it's not enough for me. I want more and I want it now. I've had enough of these fuckers dragging their feet. It's time to ramp it up here.

I gaze up at the score board and see the numbers starring down at me. 4-1 Dallas. We are losing to _Dallas_. Losing to a team in the south, should be enough to inspire anyone... at least the frickin' Canadians on the team! I think losing to southern team is actually considered a sin in Montreal. It's not too late to pull our heads from out of our asses and get something going here!

I jump over the boards and skate towards center ice, initially lining up at centre ice for a face off but a quick look around inspires me, as I stand and pat Kuni on the pads to take my spot, instead lining up in front of this little Niskanen turd. I think he's the smallest guy on the team… that's probably good. What I'm about to do won't be pretty and I just hope I don't embarrass myself…

-.-

"_Have you lost your mind?"_ I hear as I pick up my phone. I was wondering what phone call would come in first after my little stunt. The whole time sitting in the penalty box I made a mental list. Mom, Dad, Taylor, Pat… Bree…

"What? No hello?" I smirk, knowing full well that that will just piss her off more. I guess I know her well enough to anticipate her facial expressions.

"_No! No hello! Are you fucking CRAZY? Have you actually lost your fucking mind?"_ Bree freaks out on me. She can yell all she wants, I'm just pretty relieved to hear her voice. I guess it means she still cares.

"I won…" I shrug, probably just infuriating her more. I look down at my hand and wiggle my fingers. I thought my hand would hurt more… I wonder how his hand is? He hit my helmet but that's probably the only good swing he got in. I kinda feel bad.

"_Well that's good, I guess_…" Bree concedes. _"But please don't make a habit of that!"_

"Of winning?" I ask, egging her on.

"_Fighting! You know what I meant!"_ She snaps.

"Sorry… how are you?" I ask, changing the subject. We haven't talked in days and this is not the reason I wanted her to call me. Actually, I wanted to call her and apologize but I haven't had a chance.

"_I'm fine. I should really let you go, so you can get some sleep. I just wanted to – "_

"Call and give me crap?" I cut her off lightly.

"_No… see if you were alright…" _She corrects me, her voice much softer then when she originally called, a very good sign.

"I am," I assure her. "I just want you to know…"

"_No Sid. Don't. Just. Don't."_

"I want to apologize," I try and explain.

"_We'll talk when you get home_," She insists, not letting me get a word in.

"Okay," I agree but I'm not happy about it. "I love you."

"_Do you?"_ She asks and then there is silence. I don't know how to respond. I know silence is wrong but I can't believe she would even question that. She knows! She knows I love her! She _has_ to know!

"_Goodnight Sidney,"_ I hear her whisper before hanging up on her end. I just sit in shock, still holding the phone to my face, unable to move. I'm losing her and it's no one's fault but my own.

-.-

Another fucking loss. I am so fucking tired of LOSING!

I look around the room and realize that this is the last place in the world that I want to be right now. Everyone is miserable, myself included and if Cooke so much as looks at me right now, so help me God, I will take that shit brick out.

"Good effort tonight Sid," Dan offers walking into the room to give us a pep talk. "The rest of you… not so much." I don't look up. I don't need to. I can see Cooke rolling his eyes out of the corner of mine. I clench my fists and count slowly to ten…

"We need to tighten up our systems out there and how about playing with a little passion?" Dan continues, slapping his notepad into his hand. "I know you guys can do better and we only have one more chance on this trip to show that. Figure out what the fuck you need to do and do it. Plane leaves at eleven. Be on it."

I watch Dan wander out of the room, his fists crumpled into balls and can't help but nod in agreement.

"Oh sure, agree with him. You, of course, did nothing wrong tonight," Cook is the first to speak up. Shocker. I must have an easy target sign on my forehead. He knows that he can get to me right now, so he is just going with it. If I don't respond, it'll die off.

"Shut up. You don't get to say shit!" Dupuis stands up, defending me. That won't help.

"Wow, normally you wait for privacy to suck him off!" Cooke retorts, rolling his eyes again.

"What the fuck is wrong with you man? This isn't Sid's fault!" Tanger jumps in to the fight. Great. Now Cooke has an audience, not helping the case any.

"Are you sure? Do you know what he did last night? I heard he called in a booty call in St. Louis. Maybe Bree wanted a California vacation?" Cooke laughs.

"I didn't…" I chime in. Where the fuck did he hear that?

"Yeah, come on man! That's a pretty big stretch. I mean really? I was next door to Sid in St. Louis. And Duper is his room mate, I'm pretty sure we would know if Sid had a booty call!" Rupper defends me. I wish he hadn't. Pascal and I exchange looks and everyone looks at us.

"No… you didn't…" Brooks looks up at me, the aggravation evident on his face.

"No! I mean, not here… in St. Louis, yes, but not here, I swear," I explain, while everyone stares at me. They expect better of me._ I_ expect better of me. I guess it's time to come clean. "I just, had to know. After you all said that I wouldn't handle my 'relationship', I had to find out. So I tested it. Turns out that maybe, I can't… so, I haven't since…"

"What?" I hear from several people around the room. Well there goes the image of my fantastic sex life. That should give them some ammo to harass me with for the next decade or so…

"Bree didn't come to California last night mainly because she'll barely even talk to me now…" I pause, trying to stay in control of my emotions. The thought of losing Bree is too much for me to handle on my own, never mind in front of everyone. "I have given up everything for this team. The least you could do is show up for the games!"

I am done explaining myself to these guys. I drop my shorts to the ground and take off for the showers, leaving them to do with that information what they want. I just want to forget it.

-.-

"Oh man, I saw a picture of your girl. Serious dime piece! I would wreck that chick!" Biz greets me, in only the way Biz could.

"I will take that as a compliment," I laugh, giving into the Bro hug. Bree is gorgeous, there is no denying that. I doubt even Cooke would argue that one.

"Oh man, I just added her to the looooong list of reason I wish I were you!" He continues.

"Right below my enormous… _pay check_, right?" I wink. I cannot keep up with this dude's wit, I don't know why I am even trying.

"Pay check? Is that what the ladies call it now? That's confusing. I think I am content with my _pay check,"_ he grabs his junk. "But I want your pay check."

"You keep your pay check and I'll keep mine, how about that?" I suggest.

"Only if you buy the first round next time I'm in town!"

"I guess that can be arranged," I extend my hand to make the deal. I don't know if Pittsburgh could handle Biz and his larger then life personality anymore.

"I hear you've got a new guy I have to take a swing at?"

"Um yeah, Eggs. Look out, he's a big guy!" I warn him about our new fighter. I don't think he's lost a match yet and has been itching to get a hold of Paul, if for no other reason then to get a mention on Twitter.

"Oh, I'm ready for whatever you're gonna throw my way! I hope you're all ready for a slap down tonight," He teases.

"No, sorry man. We need a win real bad and I am going to have to take it from you."

"Yeah well, you can try but Penguins don't fly, which make them real easy prey for the desert dogs!"

I can't help but laugh. The dude is hilarious. "Have a good game tonight!"

"You too man, stay safe and you know, if you need me to step in and show your girl what a real man can do, you just let me know!"

"Yeah, fuck you," I laugh and watch him saunter out of the room.

-.-

I feel him slide into bed behind me and although I am wide awake I pretend to be asleep. I don't know what time it is but It's a long flight from Phoenix and they left right after the game so I would guess it's somewhere around 4:00 – 4:30 in the morning. We haven't really talked since we fought after the Philly game, just a text here and there and nothing too involved. He'll have all day off tomorrow, so I know we'll talk then but right now, I just want to go back to sleep. I feel his cold feet graze mine, as he rolls onto his side and wiggles in close to me. His arm slides around my waist and I get shivers. I miss his touch. He presses his whole body against mine and I can feel the heat of his body transfer to mine and I accidentally let out a little sigh. Damn. I wanted to pretend to be asleep and now he will know I'm not. He doesn't say anything, just presses his lips to the back of my neck and my body responds. My head rolls back, exposing more of my neck. He pulls his hand up and slides the strap of my nightgown down over my shoulder, moving his lips up over the top of my arm, letting his hand move to the front to cup my breast.

This is so unfair. He's acting like nothing happened, like nothing is wrong.

"Stop Sid."

"Shhh…" He whispers in my ear and sends another waive of shivers down my body. God, I want him.

"No, Sid. Stop," I shake him off my shoulder and pull my strap back up into its place.

"I missed you…" he continues.

"Just go to sleep and we'll talk tomorrow…" I insist sharply. He needs to know that things aren't alright and as much as my hormones are taking over my body right now, giving in isn't the answer.

"Baby, I know your pissed at me but – " He pleads, still running his hands over my bare skin.

"Goodnight," I cut him off, then pull the blanket up over my shoulder. That may have been the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

I wake up and look over at the clock. 9:00 am. It feels much later. I wish it were much later. That would mean that I had gotten a full night's sleep but clearly that is not the case. I slept a bit on the plane coming into the Burgh from Phoenix but after the win, the guys were all still in really good moods and everyone was joking around, so not exactly the environment conducive to sleeping. I was kinda hoping Bree would help exhaust me when I got in but… no such luck there, either. I mean, I get why… I'm just not happy about it.

Speaking of Bree, she is very much not in my bed right now. "Bree?" I call out towards the en suite. No answer. She must be downstairs already. I swing my legs out of bed and stretch up above my head. I reach to the floor and grab the t-shirt I had on when I got home last night and pull it up over my head. It will do for now. I don't really want to get dressed any more then this today. Wouldn't that be nice?

I flump down the stairs and head to the kitchen, stopping in my tracks as I get to the kitchen. Bree is sitting at the breakfast nook and just the way the sun is coming in the windows, I swear, she looks like an angel. The rays of light are hitting her hair at just the right angle, illuminating her highlights – they look fresh. She must have gotten her hair done while I was away.

I head into the kitchen and over to where she is sitting, feeling drawn in by the warm glow emanating off of her.

"Good morning," She offers, looking up at me as I approach the table. The soft upward curl of her lips assures me that she didn't climb out of bed early this morning just to get away from me.

"Good morning," I reply, barely over a whisper as I hunch by her side and press my lips gently to her forehead. "You are so beautiful."

"Sid…" She bats me away modestly.

"What?" I smile down at her, while she looks up at me and bats her dark eyelashes. "You are…"

"There is coffee, if you want some," She points over to the counter, with a warning look on her face.

"Thanks," I laugh to myself. She never could take a compliment. "So how has your week been?"

"Quiet."

"Yeah I guess, hey…" I am sure she wonders what life without me would be like but my job is to make sure that it's not better then life with me. I get that I am currently failing at that but… things are going to change. "I was wondering if you wanted to spend the day together? I thought we could go for lunch, some shopping maybe. I have to pop by the rink for just a couple minutes but otherwise, I'm all yours."

"Umm… I guess…" she shrugs. I thought she would be ecstatic about my being available but she seems so indifferent.

"I mean, unless you had plans… I don't want to come in and throw off your day or anything…"

"No… I mean. I'll have to shuffle some things but… it could work," She shrugs again, folding up the newspaper.

"I just wanna make things right," I explain softly. "I've had a lot of time to think and I know things have been… rough, or whatever, but I will do whatever I can. I promise."

"I hope you mean that," she looks up at me with a sad look in her eyes. It breaks my heart.

"I do!" I insist. "Come on, get dressed. Let's get out of here."

-.-

Wow that woman is a power shopper. I think we may have doubled the anticipated sales of the mall for the day. I mean, don't get me wrong, I totally encouraged it… I guess I just had no idea! I have been shopping with my sister but not for years and my mom hates malls, so I never have this problem.

I plop myself down on a chair in the dressing room corridor and let the dozen or so bags fall off my arm. Bree is trying on a dress she saw in the window that was so damn sexy, I thought I was going to have to adjust a boner in the corner of the store. I don't care if she has no place to wear it, I hope she gets it anyway and just, like, wears it around the house or something.

"It's really short!" I hear her complain from behind the dressing room doors.

"I think that was the point…" I laugh, watching her shadow under the door jumping from one foot to the other as she adjusts herself into the dress. It sounds like she is wrestling a bear in that little cupboard of a space.

"No… I mean _really_ short! If I stood the wrong way… well, lets just say, Max would be happy…"

"Let me see!" I request eagerly.

"No!"

"Yes!" I climb to my feet and close the distance to the door with one big step.

"Sid… it's awful! Your stylist would have me in a nun's gown for going out in public in something like this!"

"Well now I _have_ to see!" I tease. "I am standing right here… no one else is here…"

"No one? You promise?" She asks and I look around again. It's Monday morning and the mall is pretty dead. It's all clear.

"I promise," I assure her quietly. I hear the click of the lock and watch as the door slowly swings open. She stands in front of me in the _very_ short shimmering ivory dress that clings to her curves and takes my breath away. I am not sure what kind of magic is woven into the small spaghetti straps and how they are somehow holding up her breasts amidst the very low neckline but I am spellbound.

"I told you it was short!" She yelps at my cartoon like reaction of my jaw hitting the floor and bends to pull the hemline down. As if I already couldn't take my eyes of her cleavage, her bending over slightly, just emphasizes the problem.

"I really like it…" I assure her, like she needed to hear the words. I am starring at her like I am twelve and she's a porn star.

"Of course you do!" She laughs, standing up straight and faces the mirror in the dressing room. "I dunno… with the right heels and a long necklace…" She stands on her tippy toes and pulls her hair back and up into a pile on the top of her head. A couple of soft ringlets fall at the side of her face, as she examines her image critically.

"Sure…" I nod. Whatever makes her buy that dress, at this point, I will say.

"Stop looking at me like that!" She turns around and slaps my chest.

"Like what?" I ask, acting innocent even though what is going through my mind is far from innocent.

"You know like what," she warns me with a suggestive smile.

"Breanna! Get your mind out of the gutter! We are in a store change room for crying out loud!" I tease her.

"As if that would stop you!" She points out, turning back around to face the mirror, smoothing the material on her hips, clearly still undecided about the purchase. Watching her twist and turn in the mirror's reflection is making it a non-decision for me.

"You know… you're right…" I state, stepping in close behind her and letting the door come closed behind me. I grab her wrists from her sides and forcefully place them on the mirror at her shoulder height and press my body against her back. I bury my head in her neck and run my lips up the expanse of exposed skin.

"Sid!" She hisses, making a lame attempt to wiggle out from under me. I look up, raising my lips to her ear, and see her eyes in the reflection of the mirror. It's been a while since I've seen the look of longing in her eyes and it gives me an instant erection. I release her wrists but she leaves them pressed against the mirror, as I slide my hands down her arms to her shoulders and slip the precariously little straps of the dress down her shoulder. The material of the dress falls away from her breasts and I take a deep gulp. I could get in a lot of trouble if I got caught doing what I am about to do. Oh well. There is no way I want to stop now.

I run my hand down the smooth exposed skin of her back and let my other hand go to the fly of my pants, quickly undoing the button and pushing down the zipper. I take my hands off her for just a second while I push the denim and thin cotton of my boxers out of the way and then return my hands to her side, pushing the thin material of the dress up over her hips exposing her ass. I watch her slowly spread her legs and I bend my knees slightly and lean forward, a familiar stance my peewee coach used to call the 'hockey stance'. Not really thinking about hockey right now… scoring yes, hockey no.

I can feel the heat of her body pressing against me, as I move into the best position and press myself up into her. She sinks her ass into my lap and her wet core welcomes me, as I slide inside her with little effort. She feels amazing around me and I take a second to watch her reflection in the mirror as I make my first thrust. Her mouth opens wide but then clamps shut as she bites down on her lower lip. Her head flops back, and lies on my shoulder as I move inside her. This is the most awkward sex position I have ever attempted… but it feels fucking amazing. Totally worth it. The mirror is just a bonus as I watch her breasts bounce with each deep thrust and every time I watch them, I want to pound harder and make them bounce higher.

"Oh my god…" Bree whimpers and I shush her. The last thing I need is the store clerk coming to check on us right now.

"Sid… I'm gonna… oh my god… " She whispers and I can feel her tighten around my cock. I watch her reflection in the mirror as she comes and watching her face pushes me over the edge. My balls constrict and I feel my load empty in squirts inside her. She flops against the mirror as I lift her off my glistening cock. She lets the dress fall off her body and to the floor and we both look down at it and then up at each other.

"So… I guess we're buying that dress…" I offer with a chuckle and watch her cheeks turn red with embarrassment. She lets out a little giggle and bends over to gather her own clothes. I tuck things back into my pants and pull the zipper up carefully. I am still standing a bit at attention and don't want any thing to get caught.

"I think for that, we are going back to Louis Vuitton store!" She shakes her head, picking up the dress between two fingers like it's a cum stained sock.

"I told you to buy that purse! Why didn't you just get it when we were in there the first time?" Erection gone. Louis Vuitton is all the way back on the other side of the mall!

"Because now I feel I've earned it…" She states, hanging the dress up on the hanger.

"Earned it? Let's go back to La Perla and you can earn the whole fuckin' mall!" I grab her around the waist and pull her towards me. Like I care how much she spends! She rolls her eyes and pushes away from me, grabbing her bag and the hanger and steps past me. She slowly opens the door and peers out, making sure no one is there to see the two of us stepping out. She heads out and I follow carefully, collecting all her bags and walking up to the desk, doing my duty of handing over the credit card.

"Are you hungry? Wanna grab a bite to eat?" I ask, hearing my stomach grumble. Bree just shrugs, checking the messages on her phone. I know that we aren't exactly in the most romantic place and cuddling wasn't exactly an option but we did just have sex… she could at least act like she wants to be here with me. "Bree? Is something wrong?"

"No. I could eat if you want," She replies, wholly disinterested.

"Well don't do me any favours…"

"Oh don't be like that! I just had sex with you in a change room for fuck sakes!"

"You wanted it to! Don't act like you didn't!" I remind her.

"Yeah, you're right, it's every little girls dream. When I was growing up, I couldn't wait to be called in for booty calls and fuck in change rooms," She snaps at me. And off she stomps. Okay. I didn't realize she was still pissed about that.

-.-

Did I want it? Yeah, of course I wanted it. Was it good? Of course but that is not the point. I wanted to talk about what was going on between us. I tried really hard to not give in. I don't want him to think that he can just treat me like crap and have no repercussions for it but… but that certainly didn't happen now did it? And now he thinks he can what? Just buy his way out of trouble? I have never spent this much money and felt so cheap.


	31. Chapter 31

_*I have to apologize... for some reason when i uploaded this chapter, it took out all the spaces between words... i tried to put them all back in but talk about frustrating! If there are words crammed together for no reason, it's because i got tired of fixing it and couldn't catch them all!_**  
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**Chapter 31**

"So you think she's forgiven you?" Brooks asks, looking me dead in the eyes, like he is burrowing to China through my skull. The guy could stare the face off the moon, he's so freakin' intense. '_Blink__ god __damn __you,__'_ I will silently but to no avail.

"I dunno… I hope so. I took your advice and brought her flowers and we had a nice dinner and everything," I explain, shifting my focus away from Brooksy. I don't normally tell the guys my personal problems but this one… it blew me out of the water and I needed some input. What the fuck do I know about girls?

"But did you _actually_ apologize? Talk about the problem?" Craig chimed in. I knew I could count on the veteran 'relationship guys' to try and fix my problems. Tanger just told me to fuck her more. I am fairly clueless but I don't think that would have helped the situation…

"Yeah - I mean, I guess," I shrug. I said I was sorry. We moved on. Not sure what else she wanted. I went back and bought her the purse after she stormed off. She seemed fine after she had some time to cool off.

"You guess? Dude, those are the words of a soon to be single man," Dupuis laughed.

"Yeah, man. You need to make sure the problem still isn't on her mind, otherwise it will keep coming up over and over again," Craig nods, as if talking from experience. Married life, I guess…

"How can I do that if I don't really know what the problem is?" I ask.

"Don't you?" Dupuis asks, as if I am the dumbest human being on the planet.

"No… I mean, not really…" I look around the room and watch the guys exchange looks of concern and disbelief.

"Wow, man… you're fucked," Brooks offers, slipping his jersey on. Wow, thanks. Helpful advice there.

"Can we just play hockey?" I snap, frustration creeping in. So much for their help. I guess I am on my own on this one.

-.-

"Honey, I'm home!" I hear him call as he comes in the back door. A part of me wants to hide, the other part of me is curious as to what he bought me now. Since our fight, it seems like every time he comes through the door, he comes in with a new present for me. You'd think that one of his team mates would have told him that he can't buy love but… maybe that's what works on their shallow wives. It hasn't worked on me. Doesn't mean I still don't want the present.

"Hey, I got you something," Sid offers coming into the family room where I am sitting.

"Oh yeah?" I ask, trying to act surprised. I feel like if I keep faking it, he'll keep doing it and there was this necklace I saw when I was out with Vero. I asked her to drop some hints for me.

"Yeah…" He reached into his gym bag and I watch to see what he pulls out. He pulls out a little box, a couple inches squared. Could be a necklace… "Here," He passes it to me and I reach out and accept it. Too heavy to be a necklace. I crack the box open and see a set of keys lying on what looks like spread out cotton balls.

"Mercedes?" I ask, pulling the key chain up out of the box.

"Yeah… I know you like SUV's but think the Rover is too big so…" He explains with a half smile. "Now my parents can drive the Jag and you can have your own car… It's an 'M-class'… black…"

I hold the keys in my hand and stare down at them blankly. Nobody has ever bought me a car before. Nobody has ever come close to buying me a car before. Shit, I could barely afford to buy myself a car before I started working for the Crosby's. I bought a car out of the newspaper for $1500 when I got the job on the coast and had to skip paying bills for a month to do it.

I thought I was pushing my luck with the necklace.

-.-

"A Mercedes? He bought you a Mercedes? Holy crap… At least he knows he really fucked up…" Vero laughs, running her hands over the hood and gives the little Mercedes symbol a wiggle, like checking the logo of a purse purchased on the sidewalk on the lower east side. What did she think it was a knock off? Seriously… it's Sidney Crosby… no knock-off here.

"Yeah, I guess…" I shrug. I actually doubt he has any clue how he fucked up but I guess we can consider it progress in that he _knows_ he fucked up. Baby steps.

"Wow… nice wheels…" I hear a familiar voice offer as I turn around to face a group of WAGs coming up behind me. They are never alone, they travel in packs.

"Thanks," I offer to Michelle as she looks the car up and down.

"Present from your boy?"

"Um… yeah…" Why do I feel that she is going to take that wrong?

"I didn't realize that was the going rate for a booty call these days," She laughs and looks around her entourage for support. They all laugh with her. "From trailer to Mercedes… good for you…"

"Michelle!" Vero gasps, stepping up beside me.

"What?" Michelle asks innocently. "A girls' gotta do what a girls' gotta do, right?"

"She is not from a trailer!" Vero comes to my defence and the group in front of us laughs while Vero lowers her voice and turns to me. "You're not right?"

"No!" I protest. Not much better but nobody needs to know that…

"Really, I guess you just give off the vibe…" Michelle adds, throwing one last jab to someone who is already down. Classy move! She continues on her path into the building and Vero and I just watch them all walk away.

"You know, I think I am going to head home. I don't really want to sit with them and watch the game. It's just too uncomfortable," I sigh, after we have watched the group disappear into the Arena.

"NO! Don't let them win!" Vero pleads. "Sid wants you here! Maybe if you tell him what's going on, we could go and sit with Nathalie and Mario…"

"I don't want to tell Sid," I shake my head. I have been pretty adamant on not getting him involved. He has his problems and I have mine. "And Nathalie will just say that I need to grow a pair and stand up to them."

"Well, maybe you do?"

"I have. It just doesn't work," I am not admitting total defeat, I am just letting her take the first round. "I'm going home."

I give Vero and hug and climb into my fancy new SUV. The new car smell is overwhelming and quite a bit foreign to me. Pretty far from the rotting McDonalds with an undertone of spilt coffee that I am more accustomed to.

-.-

My cell phone rings and I look down at it. Ugh. Sid. I was hoping he wouldn't call.

"_Where are you?"_

"At home," I state, wishing, just once, he could greet me with 'Hello'. How much time does it really save him, jumping past the agreed upon social standard telephone greeting.

"_What the fuck? Why?"_

"I just, wanted to be at home…" I explain slowly. There is silence on the other end of the phone as Sid is no doubt trying to figure out what to say next.

"_Listen,__ if __you __have __a __problem_…" He begins and then pauses again. _"__You__ can,__ like,__ tell__ me__ and__ stuff__…" _

"It's nothing Sid," I assure him. I know he doesn't have the time to talk to me right now and was probably just looking for me to run him an errand or something before the game. He'll have to get someone else to do it. "Have a good game, okay? Don't let anyone do anything stupid. I'll see you when you get home…"

"_Yeah__ okay__…"_ Sid agrees and hangs up the phone. I'll watch the game on TV but I have no interest in sitting in the family lounge at the rink and being heckled. Call me crazy…

-.-

I can hear the TV turn on from where I am lying in bed reading. I glance over at the clock on the wall and realize that it's about that time. Sid must have just gotten home. Nice of him to let me know…

I swing my legs out of bed and grab my housecoat, heading downstairs to where he is spread out across the couch. His tie is undone and lying sloppily across his chest and the top buttons of his dress shirt have been opened. I notice his socks are lying on the floor beside the coffee table and I know that I will have to pick those up in the morning.

"Hey…" I greet him, plopping a kiss on his forehead.

"Hey."

"I didn't hear you come in…"

"Yeah well…" He shrugs. Great. He's mad at me for not being at the game.

"It was a tough game…" I offer. I can always get him to talk to me about hockey. Even if he is trying his hardest to give someone the silent treatment, you can always draw him out with a hockey comment.

"They spanked us."

"It wasn't like you got blanked, four goals in most games…"

"It wasn't most games!" He cuts me off. "They got five fucking goals in the third period…"

"They wanted it more." I offer. Actually I am pretty surprised that they managed to get any goals at all considering how blinded by hatred they are about Cooke's hit on Savard. Still. I guess they subscribe to the school of thought that the best revenge is a beating on the scoreboard.

"I should have wanted it more," Sid insists.

"I don't get it! I don't get how you are blaming yourself! You had three points. It's not like your not producing! You're close to the top point holder in the league - "

"But we're not winning!"

"But it's not your fault!"

"I don't need you to tell me that, okay?" He snaps violently. I know what he is thinking. He is thinking that it's because I wasn't at the game cheering him on. He's thinking that they lost because, yet again, he had the nerve to have a physical relationship on the side. He is thinking that his team falling apart in the third period was all his fault. After all, he's the captain, he's in charge of scoring, he's the face of the NHL – blah, blah, blah. I can insist it's not his fault all I want but he doesn't believe it. I doubt he even really hears it.

"Okay…" I back off and we sit in silence, the low buzz of the TV just acting as white noise behind us. "Are you coming to bed?"

"I will in a bit…" He offers but I wonder if he will or if I will have another night alone in our bed.

-.-

Another WAGs lunch. Another three hours of my life I am never going to get back. I know I am tired and miserable and in no mood to be around these women but I can't back out without looking weak, so here I am. On the one night I needed to get a goodnight sleep, to prepare myself, the boys got home late from their one game road trip to Atlanta this morning. I couldn't get back to sleep after Sid slipped into bed with his cold feet. I don't understand how the boy can be so hot and have such cold damn feet.

My plan to survive this lunch was to stay far away from Michelle and her pose, choosing to instead sit way off to the other side of the room with my small group of friends. The order of business today was brainstorming for the Pens fundraising Bowling game that doesn't take place until early spring. Nobody came up with any new ideas, just the same old, same old. 'Let's sell muffins!' yey…muffins… so exciting…

Oh, oh, here's a new one… how about autographed pucks? I don't think that's ever been done!

"Thank god that's over…" I whisper to Vero as we step out of the restaurant and into the parking lot. She laughs and begins digging into her purse for her keys.

"You mean you don't love every second of these gatherings? But the company is so fantastic!" She quips sarcastically and we giggle and look for our cars. "I'll see you tomorrow for the game?"

"Yeah, I'll be there…" Secret confession? I love watching the Pens play the Rangers. I always silently hope that someone will beat up Sean Avery, give him a big nasty scar, so that he stops being so damn good looking. It's a lot easier to not like a guy who is ugly as balls. Thus an easy hatred of the Caps – not a good looking guy on the team. Maybe if Mike Green would get a decent hair cut…

Vero and I approach our cars, parked side by side and come to a sudden stop. Sprayed across the back of my shiny new, black car, in white paint, are the words _'__CROSBY__'__S__ WHORE__'_.

"Oh my God…" Vero breaths and reaches out for my arm.

"Who would…?" I begin and then turn around, as I hear Michelle laughing behind me.

"Wow… looks like someone nailed it on the head, hey?" She cackles and climbs into her own vehicle and we stand there watching as she pulls out of the lot. I look around and see a bunch of other eyes looking at me – a combination of shock and humour spread across their faces.

"What are you going to do?" Vero asks, looking back at my car.

"What can I do?" Looks like Round Two is also hers. TKO.


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

"Hey, what are you doing out here?" Sid asks, coming out onto the back deck. I sit up straight and wipe the tears off my face with the edge of the blanket I've got wrapped around me. It's cold out but I don't care. It wasn't cold when I initially came out here but then again the sun was up and I think it's been gone for hours now. I can't really say for sure.

Sid steps around to the front of the outdoor couch I am curled up on and looks down at my tear stained face. "What's going on? What's the matter?"

"It's nothing…"

"You're crying," He states. Wow! He figured it out. We should get him an award or something.

"It doesn't matter."

"Okay… you're sure?"

I nod. He accepts it. "It's freezing out. I am going to head inside. Why don't you come inside?"

"I will in a bit," I assure him. He shrugs and heads inside.

Another round of tears begin to fall from my eyes. I hate crying. I was never this girl before moving here. What the fuck happened to me? I knew what I wanted. Sure I didn't exactly have a plan in place or anything but at least _I__ knew_. If some bitch mouthed off to me, I would put my fist in it. If some guy treated me like a flavour of the day, he would be out of my life.

So why am I still sitting here, licking my wounds like some pathetic cheerleader who just got told she was fat by cheer captain and passed over by the quarterback for a date to homecoming? This is not who I am. This is some sad sac monster I have become and I don't even recognize myself anymore. My $30 jeans, that I would get excited if they went on sale buy one get one half off, have been replaced by $300 jeans that aren't as comfortable or look as good. My farmer's market purse, made by a local leather producer with a giant maple leaf embossed in the side, has been replaced by a designer purse that I am too afraid to put down anywhere. My toe nails and fingernails are perfect, there isn't a split end to be found anywhere on my head. I spent an hour blow drying and straightening it, just to go out in the rain, on my way to have lunch with the girls.

I don't even remember what it was all for.

I pull myself up off the couch and wrap the blanket up over my shoulders. It really did get cold out. I step inside to the warmth, looking over at Sid, lying across the couch, flipping channels casually. I head over to where he is lying and he looks up at me.

"Hey… everything okay now?" he asks. I just stare blankly. How could everything be okay _now_? From the time he left me outside to now, could he honestly believe that I solved all my problems? "Bree?" He says my name, turning the TV off and climbing to his feet. I look up into his beautiful brown eyes and wonder…

"Sid, could you do me a favour?" I ask quietly.

"Sure babe, anything. What do you need?" He assures me.

"Touch me," I stand in front of him and bite my lower lip. I need to remember what it was all for.

"Bree…" Sid moans, rolling his head back and letting out an exasperated sigh.

"Touch me." I whisper again.

"We won twice in a row Bree. I can't risk it…" he explains, shaking his head.

"I am not some stupid superstition. I am your girlfriend. I have needs and right now, I _need_ you to touch me."

"Bree - "

"I am not some stupid superstition!" I scream at the top of my lungs. I watch the muscles in his jaw clench and his shoulders tense. "TOUCH ME!"

"Fine. FINE! You want me to touch you? Fine," He grabs me by the wrists, spins me around and slams me into the wall behind him. "How's this?"

"If that's what you want…" I stare into his eyes, the normally warm glow has been replaced by cold anger and resentment. His grip on my wrist hurts but I don't care. If this is what I am to him, then fine, so be it. He presses his body against mine and I feel the weight of his body practically collapsing my frame. His face is less then an inch from mine and he is working hard to control his angry breathing. "Do it. Treat me like that disposable whore everyone seems to think I am."

"What?" he hisses. "Who said that? I didn't _fucking_ say that!"

"You don't need to say it. It's around me all day, everyday, every where I go…" I admit.

"Bree… I said if something was going on - " Sid lets go of my wrists and steps back.

"You'd what? Jump to my rescue? Be my knight in shining armour? Is that what you want to be? Is that what you think you are to me?"

"Bree –"

"Fuck you. I don't need you."

"I never thought you did… I just… I am just trying to help. I'm just trying to make you happy…"

"Happy? You want to make me happy? How about talking to me? How about coming to bed at night? How about having sex with me without making me feel guilty?" I ask, or rather sob, as the tears I tried to corral outside have broken through the gates again. "I can deal with everything else. I can deal with those women. I _cannot _come home everyday and wonder _why_ I am dealing with it!"

"But… I bought you a car and…" Sid offers, as if that was supposed to have solved everything. He looks like he genuinely believed it would.

"Yes, you are very good at _buying_ things. But I don't need_ things_," I explain. "I need you. I need _you_ to want _me_."

"I do…"

"Only when it's convenient for you, though right?" I reply quietly, lowering my eyes to the floor. The words are coming as a realization as much to him as to me. I mean, I guess I knew it, I just never let myself say – or even think – the words. Before we were together, it was easy. I only talked to him when it was convenient for him. I don't know why I thought it would be different now. I am an idiot for thinking spreading my legs would change him. I guess I just thought I meant more to him now…

"No… I just… I'm sorry…" he offers softly.

"I know… so am I… I never wanted to be this girl…" I can barely get through the sentence, as the tears stream down my face.

"Shhhh…" He offers, wrapping his arms around me, pulling me in tight. "It's my fault."

"Make love to me…" I whisper into his shoulder, then tilt my head back and look up into his eyes, which only moments ago were full of emotion that scared me. Now there's sadness and I almost wish it were back to anger, as he looks down at me and nods slowly. He lowers his forehead to mine, grazing his lips just across the surface of mine. I crave for more but fear that if I push him, he'll back away. Instead I let him set the pace – which is painfully slow – and just follow his lead, as he moves back and forth over my mouth.

I feel his hand creep up under my shirt, his thumb graze the skin at the base of my bra. I nip at his lower lip as he passes me and that seems to encourage him. He moves his hand up under my bra and squeezes my breast firmly, pressing against me and backing me up against the wall again. I run my hands down over the back of his broad shoulders as he moves his lips over my chin and down my neck. He bites at the skin over my clavicle and I think I hear a small growl escape him as he reaches around, undoes my bra and pushes my shirt up over my head. He pulls back and looks down at me, licking his lips.

"Come," I offer, extending my hand out feebly.

"Where?"

"To _our_ bed…" I whisper, barely loud enough for him to hear. He nods in agreement and I turn and lead him out of the room. He follows dutifully, as I walk slowly up the stairs and swing open the large doors to his master suite. I walk over to the bed, about to turn around and lie down when I feel his hand travel over my back, the back of his fingers following the curve of my spine up till it meets my hairline. I feel him step in behind me, pressing himself against me and his other hand comes around, returning to cupping my breast. I shiver as he runs his fingers through my hair but let out a small cry as he digs his hand in a pulls my head back against him sharply. He sinks his teeth into neck and squeezes his fingers around my nipple. I raise my arms up around his neck, pulling him in tight. His hands move around my stomach and then down to undo my jeans, pushing them down over my hips. I wiggle them down, making every movement count as I feel him pressing against me. He lets one finger slip down between my folds, expertly finding the spot I need him to, drawing little circles around the throbbing mass of nerve endings. I moan loudly, unable and unwilling to suppress it. He returns a hand to my hair and pulls my head back further, tilting it so he can press his lips against mine ferociously. This is the Sid I know. This is the Sid I love.

"Fuck me…" I moan, wanting – no needing – to feel him inside me.

"Yeah? That's what you want?"

"Oh God yes…" I moan again.

He uses my hair and pushes me down on the bed with force, pulls my ass up to him and I feel him struggle with undoing his own jeans. I hear his belt hit the floor and feel his hands travel down my back, stopping on my hips. He pushes me forward and kneels on the edge of the bed, then pulls me back against him. I feel his thick erection push up inside of me and let out a gasp. I hear him moan as my pussy pulls him in, swallows him whole. I squeeze my muscles around him and hear him growl as he pulls out, almost all the way and then drives his cock into me hard.

"Again!" I cry and he responds without hesitation. "Again! Again!" I grip the blanket underneath us as I feel him ripping me apart.

"Goddammit…" I hear him swear with a grunt, as he pulls out and I feel warmth deposited on the ass cheek. That's unfortunate. I leave my ass where it is, hoping that he can manage to continue but… no such luck. "I'm sorry…" he whispers, while using his boxers to wipe away his seed from my ass cheek, before he lies down on the bed beside me, leaving his legs dangling over the side of the bed.

"Maybe again in a few minutes," I offer understandingly, kissing his chest gently.

"Maybe…" he nods but I can tell he doesn't mean it. I lie still for a couple minutes wondering if it's rude to take care of myself lying beside him or if I should excuse myself and slip to the bathroom. I roll over onto my back and graze my fingers over my stomach, then let one travel up to my breasts and one slip down between my legs. I run my index finger over my clit and suck in a ragged breath, arching my back.

"What are you doing?" I hear Sid demand. I peel open my eyes and look up at him, propped up on his elbows watching me.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" I purr seductively, continuing to stroke myself. I watch him watch me as I squeeze my breast and pinch my own nipple. Sid gulps deeply as he watches me, a look of book confusion and intrigue on his face. I smile to myself, as I let my head roll back and eyes close. I skilfully bring myself close to the edge and let some moans escape, hoping Sid is enjoying the show. I pull my leg up to the edge of the bed to brace myself as I prepare myself to come.

"Ohh…," I let escape. I am so close.

"Quit it." I hear and open my eyes.

"What?" I gasp, realizing what he said.

"QUIT IT! Cut it out!" he reached for my arm and throws it away from my body.

"Sid! I was just - "

"I know what you were doing! You're rubbing my _fucking_ face in it! I get that you don't need me, okay! I get it! I get that I can't do anything right for you! You think I'm fucking proud of that? DO YOU?" Sid snaps at me.

"No! I - " Whoa! Where the fuck is this coming from?

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have needs, whatever," Sid climbs out of bed and grabs his boxers off the floor. "Why the _fuck_ should I care? You don't seem to care too much about _my_ needs!"

"Your needs? I don't care about _your_ needs?" I can barely contain my laughter now. That is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time. It's so fucking funny that it's flat out absurd.

"No, you don't, or you wouldn't have made me do _that_!" He turns and points at the bed.

"And by _that,_ you mean the horror of having sex with me?" I retort, you know, just for clarification.

"No… I… um… I…" He stands in front of and stutters. I guess the realization of his accusations are coming to him.

"Well while you try and figure out what you meant by _that_, I would appreciate you going and sleeping somewhere else," I offer to him. He stands in front of me, staring at me, clearly not knowing whether or not he should argue or just go.

"Okay…" he nods and gathers his clothes from the floor. "I'm sorry…" he offers before stepping out of our room – _his_ room. I just kicked him out of his own bedroom. And I thought we had just made progress. He clearly didn't hear a fucking word I said.

-.-

Coffee, check. French toast, Check. I even cut oranges the way she likes them, leaving none of the white pith on them. She says it's bitter, but I don't taste it. Whatever, it's what she likes, so I did it.

I know she probably doesn't think so right now but I would do anything for her. I wanted to last night but… I just couldn't. I was tired and I needed to save my energy for the game tonight. I shouldn't have snapped. I know that but watching her lying there, doing what she was doing, was just too much for me - for my ego, I guess. I should be able to take care of her better. I know breakfast isn't what she wants but it's all I can do right now.

"What's this?" I hear behind me and spin around.

"I, um, made you breakfast…" I stutter through my offering. She stares at me, not coming any closer, her arms crossed over her chest. She's in her workout clothes, yoga pants and a sports bra. I used to get dirty thoughts in my head when I would see her in that, the tight pants clinging to her body, hugging her ass cheeks, the bra pressing her breasts in tight to her chest. Now that I know what is underneath the material… well, I guess I still get dirty thoughts.

"I'm not hungry." She shakes her head, grabs her ipod off the counter and turns around.

"Bree!" I yell, following her out of the room. She pauses and I stop in my tracks, waiting for her to turn around but she just puts her ear buds in and continues down the hall and out the front door.

I feel myself trembling as I walk back into the kitchen, rage, anger, frustration coursing through my body. It's no one's fault but my own. I look down at the table I set for breakfast – cutlery, plate, coffee mug, syrup, cut oranges in a bowl – all for what? I wrap my hands around the edge and flip the whole table on its side. I watch the oranges scatter everywhere, intermixed with pieces of smashed plate.

I slowly collapse down in a chair, lower my head to my knees and bury my face in hands.

-.-

I watch the puck slide under Fleury and swear to myself. I already know what Sid is going to say. _"__See,__ we __had __sex __and __this __is __what __happened__…" _I don't think I can hear it. Not tonight. Not anymore. I don't wait for him to come into the family room after the game. I don't say goodbye to anyone. I just leave.

I drive home with the radio in the Jaguar turned off. Just me and my thoughts. My car is in the shop getting repainted. They tried to just wash off the white paint but you could still see where it was. You could still see the words. I can still hear his words. I don't know which hurt more.

I arrive home, walk in the front door and place my purse on the table beside the door. I realize I don't remember how I got here. I don't remember pulling out of the arena parking lot. I don't remember turning onto our street from the parkway. I don't even remember entering the gate code to pull up the driveway. I drove home in a zombie like state, just going through the motions.

I slowly kick off my shoes and walk towards the back of the house. I enter the kitchen and look down at the mess on the floor. I saw it this morning but… I have no desire to clean it up. I open the fridge and pull out the remnants of a bottle of white wine. I reach down a glass and fill'er up. I grab the glass and sit down on bar stool at the kitchen counter. I somewhat anticipated crying as I sit here but nothing comes. I can't even bring myself to feel anything right now.

I climb off the stool and wander back down the hall and upstairs, swinging open our bedroom door and looking inside. The bed hasn't been made because, quite frankly, I didn't want to make it. There is a pile of crumpled Kleenex on my bedside table left over from last night. My gym clothes are in a pile on the floor outside the en suite door. Sid's road trip bag is sitting on a chair in the corner of the room, ready to be unpacked and repacked by yours truly. I don't think it's going to happen.

I wander into the en suite and stare down at the giant bathtub. I could use that right now. Tonight is probably not going to be easy and I could use some R&R before it begins.

-.-

I lift another sweater from my drawer and place it in with the others, as I hear his footsteps on the hardwood floors outside the bedroom door. I draw in a deep breath as I can tell he is looking for me.

"What are you doing?" He asks, as I see his shadow in the doorway, my back to him.

"Packing," I offer simply.

"Packing? Why? Where are you going?" He demands answers. I have answers. He won't like them.

"Um… I dunno… just away…" There is a long pause and I can feel the tension in the room. I slowly open another drawer and grab some t-shirts, lifting them up to go with the sweaters I have packed. I have an early flight booked so, I can't just stand here and waste my time, waiting for him to make another grand declaration about how he's trying and how it will get easier. It won't and he needs to figure that out. I already have.

"Bree…" he reaches around and wraps his hand around my wrist, stopping me from going back for more clothes for my suitcase. Here it comes… I prepare myself, as I turn around and face him. He looks bad - pale, fragile, visibly upset. I feel horrible doing this to him but it's for his own good.

"No Sid. I have to go. I can't do this," I explain.

"You don't have to go… I… I don't want you to go…" He stutters, shaking his head.

"This isn't up to you," I pull away my arm. He seems to accept that.

"Are you going back to Halifax? Or home?"

"No… I think I am going to go a bit further. I have friends I was supposed to visit before I came here. That was my plan, remember? To do some traveling… I think I will go see them…" I explain.

"What? Where?"

"In England…" I shrug. "To start…"

"England! To start? What the fuck? How long are you going to be gone?"

"I dunno… I have saved some money so… I might travel a bit, around Europe and stuff…" I explain but I see the expression on his face and I start to feel like the enemy.

"You're leaving me?" Sid asks, barely above a whisper, as if saying it out loud was what was making it real or not, and if he didn't say it too loud then maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't happen.

"This – whatever this is – isn't working… you and I both know it…" I begin, looking away from his face as I cannot handle the sad puppy face right now. I made up my mind and I need to stick with it. "Maybe your mom was right… maybe they were all right…"

"NO!" He barks through a clenched jaw. He reaches over and slams my suitcase shut and tries to pull it off the island. I put my hands down on it and wrestle for a minute until he relaxes the fight. He falls to his knees beside me, burying his face in the cupboard doors, his hands still on the suitcase, his knuckles turning white. I can tell he is crying, even though he is hiding his face, as his shoulders are heaving up and down. Fuck, I feel like such a bitch right now…

"I can't feel like an inconvenience all the time," I begin to explain, placing my hand on his top of his head.

"I'M SORRY! I said I would work on it! You can't just run away!" He turns and buries his face in my hip. He clings to me, pulling me in tight to him, to the point I almost loose my balance.

"I'm not running away… I'm taking a break…" I offer softly, brushing his hair over his ear.

"So you'll be back?" He asks eagerly, looking up at me with hope. There are tears at the corners of his eyes and seeing that makes tears come to the corners of mine. I haven't cried since I got home - didn't think there were any tears left in me. I guess I was wrong - that seems to be a theme lately.

"Yeah, I mean, probably… I dunno…" To be honest it never occurred to me that I _wouldn__'__t_ be back but I actually hadn't thought about it too much.

"What the fuck does that mean?" he pleads.

"It means, I don't know…" I respond honestly. I guess it means I have a lot of thinking to do…

"But… but I love you…" He stutters through sobs and wraps himself back around me.

"But… there is soooooo much more to this then love…"

**-.- **

"So she just left?" Vero asks, handing me a cup of coffee from my coffee maker. We sit in the kitchen, at the island, because the breakfast table is still turned over on the floor. I saw Vero and Marc exchange looks when they saw it lying there but neither of them said anything. I will clean it up later. Or maybe not, I don't care.

"Yup… this morning, early," I nod.

"Merde…" Marc shakes his head. Vero puts her hand down on her boyfriend's shoulder and he gently presses a kiss to her knuckles. Normally their PDA doesn't bother me but… not the case right now. I didn't call them here to make me feel worse. I called them here because I don't want to be alone.

I am alone though, aren't I?


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

- November 27, 2010 -

As soon as the locker room empties out I pick up my cell phone and step down the hall to a quiet area and make the call. If it's 10:00 here, what time is it in London? Maybe I shouldn't call… but I really want to hear her voice. Even if it's just for a couple of minutes. She'll understand.

"_Hello?_" I hear her groggy voice through the other end of the receiver and my shoulders instantly relax. I try and convince myself that she isn't an ocean away, that she is actually just at home in our bed waiting for me – where she should be.

"We won, did you see?" I ask eagerly. It's our sixth win in a row now and I call her after each on of them. At first it was weird and I was angry that I had to call her, that she wasn't just here to talk to but I have gotten over it. Now, I am just doing what I can to convince her to come back.

"_No__… __they__ don__'__t__ really __cover __hockey __here_…_mostly soccer,_" She replies softly. I wanted to get her NHL Game Centre so she could watch every game but… I didn't want to seem needy. I want to give her space and all that. I just would feel better if I knew she was watching.

"I got a natural hat trick, my first," I explain, like when I was little and trying to impress my dad with my accomplishments.

"_Oh__ yeah? __That__'__s__ great.__"_ She responds with a yawn. I have to tell myself not to read too much into that. It's not that I am boring her, It's really late where she is. If she was here and awake she would be excited for me. I know she would. But she isn't here.

"I almost had a goal every way, like Mario's thing but I missed the damn penalty shot…"

"_You__ suck __at __penalty __shots,_" I hear her chuckle.

"Yeah, yeah I do…" I nod. I miss her laugh. She's only been gone twelve days. God knows, I've been away from her longer but not since we started dating. Not since I learned what it felt like to hold her in my arms, to feel her naked beside me, to look down into those crystal blue eyes and see my whole life, right there, looking back up at me.

"I miss you." I whisper.

"_Sid__… __I__'__ve__ gotta __get __going, __I __have __an __early __train __to __catch__…"_ She explains.

"Okay," I let her brush off my emotional gesture. "I love you."

"_I, __um, __love __you __too,__"_ She offers and then the phone goes dead.

-.-

**- December 2, 2010 - **

_*buzz*buzz* _

Three o'clock. On the dot. If nothing, he's consistent. I don't know why I even try and go to bed. I reach for my phone and lift it up to my ear.

"Hey…"

"_Good morning…"_

"Ha ha ha…" He thinks he's so funny… at least he hasn't called from the west coast following a game. Although, that call would come in at, like, 6 am and then it would _actually_ be morning. Much more acceptable. "So, how was the game? Who were you playing?"

"_The Thrashers… I got a hat trick." _

"Yeah you told me last time you called."

"_No, __another __one__…"_ He corrects me.

"Really?"Even for him that's impressive. It takes a lot for Sid to impress people now but we'll give him that one.

"_Yeah. Back to back home games."_

"Wow, no pressure for the next game, hey?" I laugh.

"_Yeah, no kidding! I'm on a bit of a scoring streak… fourteen games, I think it is." _

"That's… that's great," I offer hesitantly. He really is playing better without me around. That hurts.

"_Yeah,__ Flower __is __playing __great __and __my __line, __we __are __really __clicking __right __now,__"_ Sid explains excitedly. Then there is a long pause. _"__Can__ you __come __home __now?__" _

"No… not yet."

"_When__ Bree?__"_ He snaps and I can hear him trying to control his breathing through the phone. I don't say anything. I have nothing to say. _"__The__ Christmas __party __is __coming __up, __can __you __please __come __home __for __that?__"_

"No Sid, you are doing great without me there…"

"_But I want you here!"_

"It's better if I'm not and you know it. Especially with the cameras and everything, that's just a bad idea…"

"_But… but they are going to be here all month! You aren't going to stay away all month!"_

"I dunno…"

"_NO! You need to be here for Christmas! How am I going to explain that to my parents? To my sister? That's bullshit Bree!"_

"I don't want to get into this with you right now…"

"_Too fucking bad! You need to come home! You need to stop this shit!"_

"Goodnight Sidney."

"_NO!__ Don__'__t __you __DARE __hang __up __that __phone_!" I hear him yell, as I pull the phone away from my ear and press the red hang up button. This isn't the first argument we have had since I've been gone but it's definitely been the worst.

-.-

I stand by the arrivals gate at the airport, with my toque pulled down over my eyebrows and a big bulky jacket on, hoping against a hope that no one will recognize me. I don't normally do the airport pick up but it's the holidays and I didn't want my parents having to hail a cab. I see them coming down the hall and can't wait to get out of here. I almost wish I could ask them to walk a little faster.

"Where's Bree? She normally picks us up!" Taylor asks, bouncing up to me.

"Yeah well, she couldn't okay? Your brother isn't good enough?" I snap. I didn't mean to snap. I am going to have to watch that.

"No! I didn't say that!" Taylor defends herself, looking back at our parents as if expecting a scolding.

"Then how about a hug and a hello?" I suggest, extending my arms to her.

"Sorry!" Taylor throws her arms around my neck and I give her a squeeze. My mom is starring at me intently and I need to avoid eye contact. I don't want to have to explain anything to her in the god-damned airport.

"You guys ready to go?" I ask, reaching for my mother's suitcase and head towards the door, not waiting for an answer.

-.-

"I'm going to take my stuff up to my room. Is Bree home?" Taylor asks, barging into the house.

I shake my head slowly. Didn't take her long.

"Okay, well when she gets home, I have stuff for her!" Taylor bounds up the stairs with her bag.

"What's going on son? Where's Bree?" My dad asks, putting his bag down. I guess I suck at covering things up. I thought I'd at least get a couple of hours before the red flags went up.

"I dunno…" I reply honestly.

"What do you mean you don't know?" My mom chimes in.

"I mean I don't know, okay? I have no fucking idea," I snap and immediately regret it.

"Watch your mouth!" My Dad warns me, pointing his finger at me sharply.

"Sorry…" I offer with an apologetic shrug. A part of me expects him to threaten to wash my mouth out with soap.

"Well, can you call her?" My mom asks innocently, clearly not getting by 'not here' I mean, really not here.

"No… it's late where she is…"

"What do you mean? I thought you said you didn't know…" My mom asks again. Now I kinda regret not telling them from the beginning. Bree has been gone for just over a month and I have tried really hard to cover it up. I guess I just thought she'd be back by now and there was no reason to get them involved.

"She's in Europe somewhere," I explain.

"Europe? Why?" I knew they were going to ask questions. I thought I was prepared. I am clearly not.

"Cause she left me…" I spit out, feeling my eyes swell with tears. _'__Hold __it __together __Crosby,__'_ I instruct myself and cover my face with my hands knowing that I can't anymore.

"Oh shit…" My dad shakes his head. I am sure he is more concerned about how her leaving me will affect my game, cause he has no idea how long she's been gone. Won't he be relieved that somehow I have been able to carry on without her.

"I'll put some tea on and we'll talk…" My mom runs her hand over my cheek and I nod.

-.-

"What do you mean she's not here? What did you do?" Taylor yells at me. I knew telling my parents would be hard but I absolutely dreaded breaking this to my sister. This was exactly what I feared the most in getting involved with Bree. That's why I waited so long. I needed to make sure I was absolutely sure that she was the one. And I am sure but… but it doesn't matter cause she's not here. I still have to break my sister's heart.

"She, uh, needed some time, a break…" I try and explain to her.

"So? When is she coming home? It's almost Christmas!" Taylor yells again. I look over to my mom, silently begging for her to just shoot me in the head and put me out of my misery.

"I know… I'm trying."

"I'll call her!" Taylor jumps to her feet.

"No Tay… just leave her alone…" I warn her.

"NO!" She yells. Yey, back to yelling… I like that sooo much.

"Tay please, this isn't easy for me either…" I try and reason with her. Reasoning with a teenager, wish me luck…

"If you want something you fight for it, right? You taught me that! What's wrong with you?" Taylor demands. "Aren't you going to fight for her? I thought you loved her!"

"Taylor, that's enough…" My mom chimes in. That one was a low blow and I can't fight anymore. I thought I could do it.

"NO! I'm calling her! This is bullshit!" Taylor screams and runs off.

"Mom!" I plead. The last thing I need is Taylor pissing Bree off. I have worked so hard to keep the lines of communication open. I don't need Taylor screwing it all up.

"I'll talk to her…" My mom nods and climbs to her feet, following her daughter to where she ran off.

-.-

Every time I see Sid's home phone on my cell I debate pressing 'ignore'. I never do – but I debate it every time.

"Hello?"

"_Bree?__ Where __are __you?__ Why __aren__'__t __you __here?__" _I hear a familiar voice on the other end. Not Sid's, that's for sure.

"Oh Taylor…" The fucking asshole is getting his sister to call and harass me now? Nice!

"_I don't understand! Please come back!"_

"Sweetie, I… I just can't right now…"

"_Why not? Don't you love him? He loves you! You need to come home!" _

I hear Trina in the background, arguing with her daughter. '_Give__ me __the __phone __Taylor. __That__'__s __enough._' Trina seems to win the battle, as there is a long pause and a door slam.

"_Hello __Bree?__"_ Trina comes on the line.

"Hey Trina," I offer softly.

"_I__'__m__ sorry. __Sid __asked __her __not __to __bother __you __but __you __know __her__…"_ Yes, yes I do. She's practically a sister to me too. And I miss her. I miss everything being easy.

"Yeah I do. It's okay." The last thing I wanted was for her to get hurt in this.

"_So,__ you__'__re __in __Europe __I__ hear?__"_ Trina asks, innocently changing the subject.

"Yeah," I admit to Trina, not wanting to give her too much information. I don't know what Sid has told her and I don't want to offer her more information then he did.

"_Must__ be __lovely __this __time __of __year_," She just sighs sweetly.

"It's very pretty," I agree. This is the most awkward conversation I have ever had. It's hard to imagine that I was once so close with her. I have frozen warts off her husbands feet for fuck sakes.

"_Will you be making it back at all?"_

"Umm… I don't know yet…" I offer honestly. I have already had this conversation with Sid. I wish she would just go talk to her son.

"_I__ know __we __would __all __like __it __if __you __were __here, __after __all __you __are __practically __family.__"_ But I'm not. She made that clear the last time we talked.

"Thank you Trina but there are other issues…"

"_Yes __I __gathered__ that_," She acknowledges_.__ "__It__'__s __awfully __hard __to __work __on__ those __issues__ if __you __are __on __different__ continents, __isn__'__t __it?__" _

"I've really got to get back to bed Trina…"

"_Of course, I'm sorry dear. I look forward to seeing you, hopefully at some point, over the holidays,"_

"We'll see,"

"_Good night darling." _

"Good night." I put the phone down on the nightstand and really wish, yet again, that I had hit ignore.

**-.-**

**- December 24, 2010 -**

Christmas Eve. I bought her a ticket and I sent it to her. And now I am waiting at the airport – on Christmas fuckin' Eve. I don't even know if she got on the plane but she isn't answering her phone so that's a good sign. She would have had to turn it off on the plane right? She would have had to…

I keep looking up at the arrivals board to make sure the plane is on time. I got to the airport a little too early. I couldn't just sit at home and wait. Taylor is pacing, she keeps asking if I have heard from her. I haven't. _'__Not __since __you __asked __me __ten __minutes __ago._' I would respond. Or _'__You __have __been __pacing __in __front __of __me, __did__ you __see __me __answer __the __phone?_' And if my mom offered me one more cuppatea I was going to fucking snap. Despite what she might believe, tea is not the answer to everything.

I look back up at the arrivals board. Her plane comes in at 1:40. It's 1:39. The arrivals board says the plane is here. She's home. If she's not somewhere else…

I climb to my feet and look over the crowd of people. I feel sick to my stomach. I haven't been this nervous in years. People start coming through the gate doors and I watch intently, looking for a familiar sight. Every time I see a brunette my heart stops but none of them are her. I bought her a first class ticket. She should have been one of the first off the plane, where is she?

I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and dig frantically to pull it out. Maybe I missed her, maybe she slipped past me and is looking for me.

I look down at my screen and see the text message window light up.

'_I__'__m__ sorry. __I __couldn__'__t._'

The phone slips out of my fingers and smashes on the floor. I just stare at it, scattered around the busy airport, in pieces, like my life. What the fuck do I do now?

-.-

Somehow I made it home. I had to pull over three times because I couldn't see through my tears. Manly, hey? I'm not proud. I'm heartbroken. I'm devastated. I am sitting on my living room couch - a couch she picked out - with my mom and dad feeling sorry for me. When I walked in the door alone, Taylor took off. I can still hear her crying in her room from here. I never wanted this.

"But you guys have been through so much together… she has been there for you through everything…" My mom just shakes her head.

"I know mom." Believe me, I know.

"I didn't see this coming…" My mom runs her hand over my head, as I hunch over my knees beside her.

"Me neither…" I look up at my mom, who, even though I know she had her issues with Bree and I, she understood how much she meant to me. "I thought… I thought I finally had her… I've wanted her for so long and I fucked it all up…"

"We'll figure it out." My dad chimes in.

"I can't loose her…" I sob into my hands.

"You won't," My mom says, so sure of herself. How can she be so sure?

"What if I already have mom?"

_*So? what do you think so far? I appreciate feedback!_


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

- August 2009 -

"I don't know why I didn't start planning this party when the boys started planning how to win the cup? For all the times I watched them play for the Stanley Cup out in the drive way, I never once allowed myself to believe he actually would, you know that? Does that make me a bad mom? I guess I should have known better… once that boy gets an idea in his head there is nothing you can do to stop him."

I stand in the newly remodelled kitchen at the Crosby's family home and watch Trina stomp around. I have been put in charge of peeling mushrooms for a veggie tray. Peeling mushrooms. Really? I mean, come on, it's a mushroom, we all know where they are grown. The gig is up. You are either okay with eating something literally grown in shit or you aren't. Making it pretty on the top, ain't gonna change it.

"If I had started planning, maybe this whole thing wouldn't be so much work…"

Maybe, if you hired a caterer, you crazy woman, this would be less work. Maybe if you weren't so concerned about the mushrooms being peeled, I could be doing something more important right now…

"And he can't just do what every other guy does, now can he? You know, pick up the cup at the airport, bring it home, drink a little bubbly, go see a couple kids at a hospital and be done with it? NOOOOOOooooooo! He has to come up with a big scheme. Helicopter? Tank? Naval ship? Sure! Parade? Why not? Oh and while you're at it, let's have a huge party for like, everyone I have ever met, _ever_…"

To be fair, she added quite a number to that guest list herself. And I think Troy's component of the guest list is the largest. Taylor invited three friends. My plan is to hide.

"And how long do we have to plan this? 6 weeks? A month? And where is he? '_Sorry,__ mom, __I__'__ve __got __to __train __for __next __season__…'_ Sheesh! Spoiled brat probably thinks he's gonna get a birthday present too! Don't even get me started on what to buy him for a birthday present!" Trina continues.

Don't worry, I won't. That's a whole other can of worms, for a whole different day. Well, not exactly I guess… but I don't think he is going to be worrying too much about his missing birthday present when he is unlocking the case to the Stanley Cup. Every other birthday from here on in is going to be a huge let down.

"Darling, when you are finished with those, could I get you to cut the crust off all those loaves of bread?" Trina asks, pointing to a heaping pile of sandwich bread on the far counter. She quickly turned on her heels and headed out of the room, not waiting for an answer. Probably good considering the look on my face isn't one she'd like to see. I thought peeling mushrooms was ridiculous. Now I get to take the crust off of bread for a bunch of grown adults eating those stupid little tea sandwiches nobody really likes.

"Hey!" Sid offers, coming in the backdoor, his team mate Max close on his heels. I smile but keep my lips pressed together firmly. "You remember Max, right?"

"Of course," I nod. What I remember is to wear baggy sweaters when I am around him, so he can't stare at my boobs the whole time.

"Mon cherie," Max purrs and leans in to kiss my cheek. Sid chuckles and rolls his eyes. When he said he was picking Max up from the airport I was less then discreet with my enthusiasm about sharing a living space with his horny-as-hell teammate.

"What are you doing?" Sid asks quizzically, as I reach for yet another mushroom and begin pulling back the top layer with the small knife in my hand.

"I have the extreme pleasure of peeling mushrooms."

"Wow… she trusted you with such an important task?"

"I know! I feel honoured!" I laugh. "And after this, she is _letting_ me cut the crusts off of bread!"

"You've made it to the big leagues!"

"I don't understand…" Max shrugs. I am guessing there is a long list of things this guy doesn't understand. Sid begins explaining the intricacies of my relationship with his parents and I pack the last of the peeled mushrooms into a Ziploc bag and place it in a basket with the other supplies for tomorrow, that are ready to transport to the party site.

"Sidney! I am glad you are back!" Trina exclaims, coming into the kitchen and seeing her son. "Oh, hello Max! So glad you could make it!"

"Allo, Mrs. Crosby!" Max greets her, clobbering her with a friendly hug.

"Oh Max!" Trina pushes Max away with a chuckle, then turns back to business mode. "Sidney, I need you to take this stuff over to your house. Did you clean out the fridge in the garage?"

"Um, no, not yet…" Sid admits, scratching the back of his neck. He knows he's in trouble, he's been well trained by his father to know when he's screwed up. If only Troy had put some effort in just teaching him to do what he was asked…

"I did." I offer to Trina, coming to Sid's rescue. When she told him to do it, I knew he wouldn't, so I just did it. Better then doing it last minute, when he inevitably didn't do it and it got put on my todo list anyway.

"Sidney! I asked you to do it!" There go the hands to the hips – the 'mom' move.

"Sorry…" Sid shrugs apologetically. Trina shakes her head in disapproval and glares at her son. "What? It got done…" He adds. The boy needs to learn when to shut up.

"You know, we are all doing a lot of work for _your_ big event… The least you could do is clean out a damn fridge!"

"Yeah, geez Sid…" Max chimes in and we exchange looks both trying to contain our laughter. There is just something so great about seeing a millionaire getting chewed out by his mommy – it just never gets old.

"Actually, I think the least he could do is cut the crust off some bread…" I add my two cents. His head snaps back in my direction so fast, I fear he might have whiplash.

"You know, I think that's a good idea…" Trina nods in agreement and I smile innocently.

"Um… actually… I um… have to…" Max and I laugh as Sid stutters to try and get out of it.

"That will free Bree up to help peel the potatoes, to get them on to boil for the potato salad…" Trina continues, pulling out her todo list and I almost shit myself.

"Pardon?" How did I get stuck peeling potatoes? Can I have crusts back?

"And Max, if you could start shredding the cabbage…" Trina reaches into her cupboard and passes Max a stand grater.

"What?" Max's jaw drops. What is he complaining about? I would rather to both of those things then peel potatoes! Trina smiles at us all and leaves the room.

"Fuck…" Sid sighs and drops his head down against the counter.

"You wanted to have a backyard party…" I remind him, clearing off my cutting board and reaching for a giant bag of potatoes.

"All I wanted was to cook some hot dogs!" Sid retorts.

"You promised me a round of golf!" Max whines behind us.

"So, start shredding!" I snap, pointing to a huge grocery bag full of cabbage. Again, neither of them get to complain, unless they want to peel the potatoes.

-.-

"Take your time," I offer, watching Bree line up her body to the tee. Max is taping his foot impatiently and she looks up from her ball and shoots him a dirty look.

"Just ignore him," I add, giving him my own dirty look.

"Easier said then done," She mutters and goes back to concentrating. Max flails his arms and walks over to golf cart, plopping himself down on the back seat, reaching into the cooler for another Keith's. He's just frustrated cause she is beating him. I am pretty surprised at that fact myself. Bree will be the first to admit that she isn't very good at golf but she didn't just come out here to hack and swing and flirt like I think Max thought she was going to.

When I asked if she wanted to come to Ashburn with us, I think Max thought I was doing him some kind of favour. In reality, I was trying to do her a favour and get her out of my mother's kitchen but now, given Max's behaviour, she probably regrets coming. Max and I had a scheduled tee time for two o'clock and as we were leaving, my mom and one of her sisters started arguing about the best way to make potato salad. Bree was literally stuck in the middle of the two women violently debating mayo or Miracle Whip and I was able to pull Bree out from between them, just as my mom threw a bunch of green onions in her sister's face.

When we first got to the course, Max began by offering her some pointers, you know, tips to improve her swing and such. Of course, he had to step in behind her and press himself against her, wrapping his arms around her, to help 'guide' her. "I've got it," she had said and pushed him back. He then made some dirty gestures from behind her, which she saw in the reflection of the golf cart mirror and didn't respond too happily to. Not that anyone would blame her. She probably didn't have to aim the golf ball right at him but… he kinda deserved it. Things pretty much went down hill from there. Now I feel like I am babysitting.

Bree takes the swing and the ball soars towards the green. Damn, that was a good hit. I glance over and see Max dramatically throwing himself backwards in the golf cart.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Bree yells at him, shoving her golf club angrily into her bag.

"Bree, just -"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah I know. Ignore him right?" She snaps at me and rolls her eyes.

"Let's just keep going," I suggest, indicating that she take a seat in the golf cart.

"I think I'll walk but thanks," She glares at Max and turns and stomps off, dragging her golf bag behind her.

"Finally, some peace…" I hear Max groan behind me. This day is going well.

"Hey, could you just back off her?" I ask, turning to Max "You're not doing yourself any favours, eh?"

"Favours? What? You think I got a chance with her?" Max sits up straight in his seat. I was trying to avoid him getting punched and he interpreted that as him having a chance to get laid. Classic Max.

"Well, um, I dunno… I mean, you've pissed her off since we got here…" I laugh. There is _no_ chance, whatsoever, but if him thinking he stands a chance gets him to lighten up, I'll take it.

"Quoi? What did I do?" he asks innocently.

"Oh come on!" I shake my head in disbelief that he could be so dumb, as I head around to the driver's seat.

"No but seriously, you think I got a chance?"

"I am not having this conversation…" I start the cart and head towards the rough where Max dropped his ball.

"Come on man… do you?"

-.-

How did I get stuck sitting beside this douche? Can anyone answer me that? Seriously. I would rather sit at the children's table.

And why is this dinner lasting so long? I have so much to do before tomorrow, I would much rather be using my limited time more effectively then sitting here, surrounded by Trina and Troy's family, mostly people I don't know, making small talk and toasting Sid on being the master of the universe. We all know he's great. He knows he's great. Lets just agree to move on.

But no. Instead I am stuck here sitting between Sid's deaf ancient Uncle and Max - who is just a pervert. And an ass.

"Voulez-vous plus de vin, mon ange?" Max purrs into my ear, already pouring into my glass. Why ask if you aren't going to wait for an answer?

"Mon ange? _Really_?" I roll my eyes at him. He may have forgotten about this afternoon but I certainly have not.

"Oui. You look like you fell from heaven, so it is fitting non?"

I am going to barf. I turn my head away from him so he can't see me gagging and see Sid at the end of the table looking down at him. He smiles and chuckles as I guess he can tell that my sitting beside Max isn't going so well. Funny, how he can tell but Max, sitting right beside me, seems clueless to that.

I reach out and grab my glass of wine and lift it to my lips. I guess I shouldn't complain about Max filling my glass. It's probably the only good thing about today.

-.-

"No Aunt Millie, icing is when – oh never mind," I attempt to explain for the four hundredth time and realize that she isn't even paying attention. I wonder if her hearing aid is even turned on. I could probably just move my lips, make no sound at all and she would nod and smile. She's like a thousand years old, why am I trying to teach her the rules of the game now?

I look down the table and see the forced smile on Bree's face and for some reason am glad that she isn't having a good time. That probably makes me a terrible person, but I don't think I could handle seeing her laughing and enjoying herself down at the other end of the room while I sat here all miserable like. I know I should be happy. Everyone is here gathered to celebrate my birthday and my cup win. They are here for me and I appreciate that, I really do. I just… can't help but wonder how much better it would be with her up here, holding my hand under the table, squeezing it to tell me to calm down or share a little private joke.

Instead she sits down there, two dozen people separating us. Max has his arm draped over the back of her chair. I watch him fill up her wine glass and I can see her snap at him. His plan to get her drunk and take advantage of her, probably isn't going to pay off today. I force myself to bite back a chuckle. She glances over at me and I offer her a sympathetic smile. I then watch her dump wine down her throat and see Max smile like he just won the lottery, starring straight down her shirt. Classy.

-.-

"Hey, sorry, you got stuck with Max…" I offer a sincere apology as I approach Bree, standing alone out on the back deck. Somehow she managed to shake Max for a minute and slip outside and for that she should be highly commended. He has hung off her all night but I think he's too drunk to stand anymore, having gotten into a shot drinking contest with my cousin Brad, something about who can handle their booze better, Quebecois or East Coast fishermen. Brad won. No contest.

"Yeah, that pretty much sucked," she nods.

"He meant well… most of the time…"

"And by well, you mean he was trying to get in my pants?"

"Ah, yeah," I nod with a laugh and lean over the railing beside her. "If it makes you feel better, it's not just you. It's pretty much anything that walks."

"Wow, that warms my heart," She offers back dryly. At least she has a sense of humour about the whole thing. A lot of girls back in Pittsburgh – not so much. I tilt my head to the side to offer her a reassuring smile and catch her looking over at me at the same time. It's pitch black out and the only light, is coming out from the house. It makes her skin look like it's been painted with gold dust. I can't take my eyes of her and a familiar feeling – heart pounding, hands sweating, hard time breathing – kicks in.

I guess she can feel the tension, cause she pushes away from the railing and takes a step back. "I should get to bed…" She mutters and points inside.

"Sure, um, actually… I was, um, I ah, while there is no one else around… I um, just wanted to… to give you this…" I reach into my jacket and pull out the long, thin box. My palms are sweating and I am surprisingly nervous about the whole thing. It's just a gift. I am just giving a gift to a girl. A friend. A friend that happens to be a girl. That I might want to kiss. A lot.

"Here," I shove the box into her hands and she looks at it sceptically.

"What's this for?" She asks, looking up at me with those big blue eyes, that even though it's dark out I can still see.

"For, you know, everything really…"

"You didn't have to –" She smiles and laughs uncomfortably.

"I wanted to," I cut her off, maybe a bit to eagerly. "Go ahead, open it." I watch nervously, as she unwraps the small gold ribbon and cracks open the box.

"Sid!" She gasps, pulling out the delicate chain.

"It's, ah, 21… Taylor said that was your number…" I point out the little charm at the end of the chain. "Everyone in my family has one and you are practically family, so…" Okay, yeah, this one is a little more intricate then the simple one I wear, or the one my dad wears but I wanted it to be special, I wanted it to be one of a kind. I had it designed just for her.

She lunges at me, wrapping her arms around my neck and I allow myself to slip my arms around her waist. I close my eyes and pretend, just for a minute, that this hug could lead to something else… even though I know it can't. I push her away and take a step back. I can't – I won't – let myself get too attached. "Sorry…" she backs away.

"Do you want me to help put it on?" I offer and immediately wish I hadn't. I can't be trusted to be that close to her. I should know that by now.

"That would be great!" She hands me the chain and spins around, pulling her hair out of her way.

"There…all good," I mutter, attaching the two ends of the chain and laying down against her neck.

"It's beautiful. Thank you Sid," She turns, looking down at the chain. She shifts her eyes up and looks up at me with a genuine smile spread across her lips. There is an awkward pause, where I know I should say something but all I can do is stare at her glossy pink lips. Luckily she breaks the silence.

"So? You all set for the big day?"

"Um… yeah… I think so…" I nod. I don't really know what to expect so I guess I am as prepared as I can be.

"The mayor thinks there is going to be a whole lotta people there…" Bree informs me.

"Oh yeah?" I shrug. I didn't know they had talked to the Mayor. I guess that makes sense.

"Gonna cry?" she asks with a teasing smile.

"Nah…" I brush it off.

"Liar. I bet you will!" She pokes me in the side.

"You think so?" Damn. I never even thought about it. I'll be fine.


	35. Chapter 35

****_*As i mentioned in my other story, i was hoping last nights phenomenal game would help me punch out a few chapters! Having a slight case of writers block... it seems to have worked, so i am going to ride the wave while it lasts! (anyone else see this week's Simpsons episode and laugh at Lisa's situation? i've totally alphabetized my DVD to avoid writing...) _

_anywho... hope you enjoy this chapter and if you have any feedback, i would appreciate it as further encouragement to write! Go Pens! (and Jets! sorry guys... torn with new team vs. old vs. new again syndrome...)  
><em>

**Chapter 35**

So I balled like a baby, so what? I'm not ashamed. I was overwhelmed. I was tired and seeing all those people… there, on the street I drove down every day as a kid... cheering for me, as I held the Stanley Cup over my head… Fuck. I am getting choked up just thinking about it. I'm never going to live this down am I? I already dread the locker room jokes. Man, I hope other guys cried too.

I look up into the mirror in the powder room on the main floor of my house and stare at myself. I had to come in here to escape the crowd outside. Not that I don't love them all, I just need to avoid crying in front of them again. I just need a minute to absorb it.

_*knock*knock* _

"Sid?" I hear a familiar voice outside the door. "Can you come out and play?"

I can't help but smile. I've barely seen her for two seconds today, she's been so busy. I turn around and crack the door, peering out through the smallest of gaps. Bree is standing there with a half smile and her arms crossed, her head tilted to the side.

"Open the door Crosby. This is your party," She instructs me in a no-nonsense tone. I was going to make a joke but I don't think she'd laugh right now. I open the door a bit further and she lets out a small chuckle.

"You know, you are making me sound like my mother. I don't appreciate that much," She reaches out and pushes the door all the way open.

"Sorry, I just needed a minute," I offer with a shrug.

"Well, unfortunately your minute is up. Your mother sent me to find you and I am not returning empty handed. I've dealt with enough of her freak outs today… it's your turn," She turns and walks back down the hall towards the kitchen. I watch her go and then decide it's best if I follow her. She stops and picks up a case of drinks from a pile in the hall and looks over at me expectantly to do the same. I oblige, grabbing two cases, one in each hand and follow her out to the deck and down to the bar.

Wow.

In the time I was inside till now, it looks like the whole of Nova Scotia arrived in my backyard.

"Whoa…" I breath, looking around as I place the drink cases in the designated spot.

"Yeah…" Bree nods, knowing exactly what I am thinking.

"Thank God it's a nice day, eh? I mean, what was the back up plan for rain?"

"You buying a bigger house…quickly..." She chuckles and I smile, taking a deep breath, in and out slowly. "You should go mingle, I have more drinks to grab…" She rubs my shoulder and pushes me towards the crowd. I scan my backyard, looking for a familiar face, an easy conversation to join. I see friends from school, old teams, from Rimouski, old neighbours, family, cousins… it's like everyone I have ever met crammed into the yard. I just don't know where to start. I see my mom and dad chatting with someone I don't recognize and give my mom a little wave, so she knows I am out here and stops fuming in her head. Just behind her I see my sister talking to… wait, is that a boy?

"Hey Bree, who's that kid with Taylor?"

-.-

"Hey Bree, who's that kid with Taylor?" Sid calls as I head back into the house. I was afraid of this. As soon as Taylor handed me her guest list I practically begged her to reconsider. I didn't think that Sid could handle this, potentially not ever - but not today for sure.

"Um… oh um, Nate?" I stop in my tracks and turn back to him. Oh shit. I can see his eyes narrow. "He's just a friend of hers…"

"A friend?" Sid asks sceptically, looking back at me momentarily before returning his gaze across the yard.

"Yeah," I nod and continue to watch where Sid is staring, as Nate '_the__ friend__'_ slips his hand into Taylor's. Oh shit.

"A friend that holds hands? Some _friend_," he growls.

"Oh come on Sid. She's thirteen. It was bound to happen eventually. You had to know that!"

"Know what?" He snaps his head back around to me.

"That she was going to grow up," I shrug.

"What are you saying?"

"That she was going to get a boyfriend eventually and you should be happy that he's a good kid."

"Boyfriend?" he practically shrieks. I see a bunch of people look over at us and I smile at them, while grabbing Sid by the arm and drag him back towards the house with me.

"No. Not okay," Sid just shakes his head adamantly, pulling his arm away and looking like he is going to tear down into the yard and stomp on his sister.

"Sid! Sidney! Snap out of it!" I grab his arm again and give him a firm shake. Sid looks at me with a startled expression. "Leave them alone," I warn him firmly.

"Does he play hockey?" Sid asks me, pretending he doesn't hear me at all. Oh for fuck sakes, the poor kid doesn't stand a chance. I literally just went through this with Troy.

I sigh and reply. "Yup, on the local bantam team." No use in fighting it.

"Bantam?" Sid asks. "Is he good?"

"Yup. He's pretty good," I nod. This is literally the exact same conversation I had with Troy. What is it with these boys and their hockey? "…maybe the next Sidney Crosby." I add, just for fun, and smile to myself. I know that will rile his feathers but I can't resist. Sid doesn't like the idea of his sister dating a hockey player but especially not a _good_ one. He hates the idea of someone being as good as him – or maybe better – but would never admit to it. That's just not in the definition of a good Canadian hockey player. And heaven forbid someone replace him as a star in his little sister's eyes. It's actually pretty cute.

"Fuck off," He snaps at me and I laugh.

"What? What did _I_ do?" I ask innocently.

"I don't want my sister dating a hockey player," he admits angrily, which I think is mighty big of him. His dad just shook his head adamantly and shut down, unable to have any more conversation for almost the rest of the day. At least Sid can articulate his anger.

"Well, you don't get to pick who she dates," I remind him about the free will of teenage girls.

"I am sending her away to school," he declares and I burst out laughing. I literally double over, I am laughing so hard and just as I think I have collected myself I look up and see the look of dead-seriousness on his face.

"What?" he asks and I am doubling over all over again.

"Oh yeah, I hear most kids live celibate lives in boarding schools…" I manage to explain as I collect myself again.

"I did…" he retorts and I have to hold in my laughter on this one because he's being serious and i think i might offend him by laughing. To be honest, I don't even know how to react to this one.

"Yeah but… you're a dork." I finally offer. Maybe not the most sensitive of lines but its all I've got.

"Touche." He nods and chuckles to himself. He glances at me and offers a smile – a much calmer smile then he had earlier which hopefully means he's calmed down.

"Anyways, don't spend the whole night starring at him. I'm sure he's nervous enough being here. And don't worry, your dad gave him a hard enough time," I inform him but I can see that his eyes return to where his sister is standing. I give him a little shove and his eyes turn back to me.

"Just leave them alone," I warn him, pointing right up in his face. "I have to go check the spinach dip."

-.-

"Just leave them alone," Bree points her finger in my face and I can't help but laugh. Leave them alone my ass. Some little creep is getting a little too friendly with my sister. What else am I going to stare at?

"I have to go check the spinach dip," Bree adds to her threat and turns and walks away. I spin my head and watch her go, her toned legs exposed beneath a short jean skirt that's wrapped tightly around her ass. Well, I guess I could stare at that.

"Sidney! Sidney come here!" I hear my mom calling for me from across the yard. There are potentially hundreds of people here and I can still hear my mom calling me. She has had too much to drink already. I force myself to look away from Bree's ass and take a deep breath, plaster a smile on my face and make my way over towards my mom.

"Sid! Do you remember Deborah Flatney? She lived down the street from Nana when we lived there. You two used to play together all the time," My mom coos holding on to my arm so I can't escape, turning me in towards a young girl, standing with her.

"No, I don't think that I do remember her…" I shake my head, looking at the short, blonde girl in front of me. She's cute – a bit too much makeup if you ask me. She has short blonde hair and green eyes. Looks kinda like a pixie. I extend my hand to shake hers, offering a polite smile and hello. Not my type. My mom is always trying to set me up with some local girl. My hope is that eventually she runs out of local girls and moves on…

"Oh, there is the mayor. I'll have to go say hello! You two should talk more!" My mom adds before practically running away. This is awkward…

"So… Deborah, is it?"

"You can call me Debbie…"

"Debbie right… k…" I nod. "So what have you been up to Debbie?"

"Oh, not much. You?"

"A little bit of hockey…" I laugh. She just smiles. Not exactly a stunning conversationalist. Oh, please, someone rescue me! I look around the crowd for someone to rescue me. I see a group of my buddies standing closer to the bar but can't get any of their attention's. They seem to be telling stories and I would really rather be there with them. Actually I would rather be anywhere else then here.

"Hey, I, ah, have to go say hi to some people. Maybe I'll see you around?" I offer to her, as my escape route.

"Yeah for sure," She smiles and nods and I begin backing away. Thank God I got out of that one. I head over to my buddies but take a quick look over at where Bree is checking on the appetizers on the buffet. Why can't my mom turn her attention to setting me up with her?

-.-

I haven't stopped running since 6 am and there is no end in sight. The hired help for this event have been great but I don't think that they were prepared for the atmosphere. I don't think anyone was. Everyone is happy, drunk and dancing, not to mention drinking and eating at a redonkulous rate! I am just trying to help out as much as I can. If that means topping up food platters, changing garbage bags, stocking drinks – that's what I am going to do. The band, Great Big Sea, no less, is taking a break, letting the DJ take over for a bit, so everyone is rushing to get drinks and I watch as the bartender collapses another box from an empty case of Keith's. I better go grab some more quickly. If they run out, there are sure to be riots.

I turn and begin to cross the yard towards the house, where the beer is being stored in the garage. The shipment was delivered, direct from the bottling plant in Halifax, this morning and I supervised the delivery, counting case after case thinking there was no way that we were going to get through all that beer, thinking that I was going to have a great stock to get myself through the hockey season but now that I watch the rate of consumption I wonder if we'll have enough.

"What? No hello?" I hear behind me and barely pay any attention at first, but then realize that the male voice is directed at me.

"Oh hey, um, I didn't know you would be here…" I offer, coming to a stop. Well this is awkward. I have seen Jason around the rinks and talked to him a couple of times but I definitely got the sense that he was still pissed at me. Fair enough. After, Sid left last summer I extended a bit of an olive branch and we kinda started up again but it just never worked. I called it quits just after Christmas. Sid had sent me a present and Jason refused to let me open it. There was a fight, some drama, _great_ post fight sex but then it just never fixed itself and I ended it. I am surprised to see him here, that's for sure.

"The real question is who isn't here?" Jason laughs and looks around. I might agree.

"Yeah, I guess. It kinda got a bit out of hand…"

"So did the parade today…" He adds. I am surprised he went to that too. From what I have learned about Jason, it's hard to imagine him being genuinely happy for Sid.

"Yeah, it was a bit wild."

"I looked for you there. I didn't see you," he continues.

"No, you wouldn't have. I was at the staging ground and then went the long way to get to the stage before everyone… just making sure everything went smoothly," I explain my location. Taylor wanted me to come with her, she had been nervous about being in front of that many people but I know what would be said if I went in a car with a member of Sid's family and I certainly didn't want that to be the storyline of today.

"Rumour has it, he cried…" Jason inquires.

"Yeah, I won ten bucks on that bet…"

"Did you? That's great!" He laughs.

"Yeah…" If that's what he needs to hear to make him feel better about himself, then fine. I am certainly not going to judge Sid on crying after the biggest moment of his life. I am going to tease him relentlessly but not judge. I might actually have judged him more had he not cried but I doubt that sentiment is shared with his ex-teammate. "So, are you having a good time? Did you get something to eat?"

"Yeah but that's not why I'm here," he utters just above a whisper, reaching out and running his fingers through my hair just over my ear.

"Jay… no…" I shrug away his advance.

"Why not Bree?" he steps in closer to me and looks down at me.

"Because I…" I glance over Jason's shoulder and see Sid standing with a group of his friends laughing. "Fuck, we've been over this."

"I know… I just thought, that maybe, if I gave you some time, you'd come around…"

"Come around?" What does he think it's like learning to like blue cheese? I guess he does have a certain odour…

"I dunno… that was the thought. I didn't say it was a good thought but I didn't have a whole lot of options presented to me."

"I am not an option for you," I quickly remind him.

"Well… that really sucks…"

"Sorry," I shrug. I am not sorry. I'm practical. I put in my effort, it didn't work, it's over. I moved on. That's how breakups work. There is no use in rehashing everything – especially right now. "Listen, I've got to go grab some more cases of beer for the bar… they are running low… so I've got to get going…"

"Let me help," Jason offers.

"You want to help?" I practically laugh in his face.

"Yeah. Why are you so shocked?"

"Um, well for one its voluntary manual labour. For two, it's to benefit Sid, your _favourite_ person and for three, well, I'm probably not too high on that list of favourite people either…"

"No, you are still pretty high on my list and I have no issue with Sid. I could actually probably use some brownie points with the crowned Prince of Hockey over there, so you know, if I do this manual labour you speak of, maybe you could share that little detail with him…" Jason looks over to where Sid is standing, still with his buddies who when Sid isn't around are his buddies too.

"You are gonna have to carry a lot of beer…" I laugh, thinking of all the bridges Jason has burned along the way.

-.-

I am paying attention but I have heard these stories a hundred times. Not that they aren't great stories, it's just that I can fade in and out and not miss a beat. I look around and try to take everything in. The smells, the sounds, the sights. All the advice I have received today is about taking time to enjoy it, take it all in. I want to do just that. I can smell the barbeque, the spilt beer, lots of different perfumes and colognes. I can hear people laughing and chatting all around. The music has been great. Sam is barking happily, trying to get people's attention to pet her. Mom said we should put her in a kennel for the day but I couldn't do that to her. I look around the yard at the little twinkle lights and lanterns Bree helped me hang. The lights are reflecting off the lake, as the sun sets, glowing in the distance. It's perfect. Beautiful.

I scan the crowd and identify familiar faces of family and friends. My parents have never looked happier, my grandparents never healthier. I see Taylor with her friends, the boy still at her side. I will_ not_ remember that, as I shake the image of it permanently out of my head. I continue to scan the crowd, seeing the crowd around the bar, the staff in their white dress shirts and ties busily working away and the head server waving his hands over towards the deck. I follow his line of sight and see Bree, standing off to the side of the yard, nod and begin to head up to the house. Speaking of beautiful sights…

I watch as she weaves her way expertly through the crowd. She has been the busiest person here all day. By far. And she's still going. The energizer bunny is being put to shame. I continue to watch as she hits a clear spot of the yard and can walk unobstructed for the first time. There is a little jump in her step as she passes another group of people and greets them quickly and laughs without losing a beat in her pursuit. I chuckle a bit to myself until I see her stop dead in her tracks as someone approaches her side, I can't see who it is but I can see her body language change, as she tenses up and seems uncomfortable. It worries me.

"You remember that Sid?" I hear as Goose nudges me in the ribs.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I nod and turn my attention back to the conversation. I have no idea what I just agreed to. I lift my water bottle up to my lips and down the rest of it, quickly looking back over to where Bree is still standing. She has relaxed a bit but I still think I should go check on her.

"You guys want another round?" I ask the guys.

"You mean, do we want another round of your free alcohol? Do you know us at all?" One of the guys jokes and everyone laughs. I nod and smile and begin to head over to the bar, with a quick detour to check in. As I head over there, I decide that my plan is to ask her about the beer inventory. That makes sense right? Just checkin' in, totally casual.

"Hi!" I practically trip over Deborah - sorry Debbie - as she appears in front of me, almost out of nowhere, her high pitch squeal grating on my bones like nails on a chalk board. I admit I was walking with a bit of tunnel vision but she's so damn small, she could have been there the whole time and I wouldn't have seen her.

"Hey there, havin' a good time?" I ask politely but quickly, still keeping my eyes locked in on Bree.

"Yuppers! This is a really awesome party and I just wanted to thank you for inviting me!" I hear her but don't look down.

"Oh well, I didn't really… I mean, my mom did most of the inviting so…"

"Oh, yeah of course, I just meant…" she continues but much less perky. I realize how rude that must have sounded and that wasn't my intention. I was just a bit distracted.

"Is something the matter?" She asks with concern and I can't decide how to answer that.

I watch Bree turn and start walking again, the guy at her side, turning and following her, placing his hand on the small of her back. He looks back over his shoulder and in the lights on the house, I can see his face for the first time. It's a familiar face.

Jason? What the fuck is she still doing with him? I thought my mom said they broke up… like for good this time?

My eyes meet his and I feel my jaw clench and my fists form balls at my sides. I can't read the look in his eyes but he sure to hell is going to be able to read the look in mine. Hatred.

"Sidney is everything okay?" Debbie asks me again and I force myself to look away from Bree climbing the stairs of the deck.

"Yup. Everything is fucking great…" I hiss and lower my glare to my feet. I shouldn't be upset by this. I have no right to be upset by this. I guess I just thought… I just thought that at the end of the night, everyone would go home and it would just be her and I. I'm clearly an idiot. I glance back over and watch Bree disappear into the house, as Jason holds the door for her and then slips inside himself.

"Fuck," I hiss under my breath then look over and see Debbie looking at me, her eyes as big as saucers, like it's the first time she has ever heard a god-damned swear word. "You want a drink?" I ask her and she nods. I grab her by the arm and practically drag her to the bar, pushing my way to the front and waving my hand for some bottles. I had told myself I wasn't going to drink today, so I could remember everything but now… now I want to forget, so fuck it.

-.-

"We'll probably need all these cases and then I can come back later for the other ones. Should get us through the next hour or so…" I laugh at the pure ridiculous levels of alcohol consumption. Jason just nods and pops his hands into the perforated cardboard to make handles for himself.

"I'm sorry if I was a bad boyfriend…" Jay mutters quietly.

"Jay…" I shake my head slowly.

"No, really. I am," He looks up at me with sad eyes. I get that it's a real apology but it still doesn't make me want to get into it.

"Can we not do this, please?" I practically beg. He bites down on his lower lip in frustration but nods his understanding.

"Yeah, of course. I just… wanted to get that off my chest."

"Okay… apology accepted…" I smile, putting my hand on top of his. His thumb grazes the underside of mine and although it's a sweet gesture I can feel it getting too intimate. I pull my hand back and begin forming my beer cases handles. I look over and begin counting the pile that we are leaving behind, just so I know for later. Twenty-two cases remaining. I look back over to the pile in front of us and notice Jason still staring at me.

"Whaaaaaat?" I whine, feeling uncomfortable again.

"He likes you, ya' know?"

"What? Who?"

"_He-who-can-do-no-wrong_…"

"Sid?" I ask with a laugh.

"Yeah… I've seen the way he looks at you," He nods with a light smile.

"You're nuts!" I declare.

"Maybe but I should know…It's the same way_ I_ look at you…" he admits.

I shake my head and roll my eyes. But I can't help but let a little smile creep up onto my face. "Can we just move the beer please?"

Jason laughs at my un-comfort but obliges and sticks his hands into his cases and I do the same. I walk behind him out to the deck. Jason gets to the top of the stairs and comes to a quick stop.

"Ahhh! Jay, don't just stop!" I growl, give him a little shove and look up. He doesn't seem to hear me as he is looking towards the dance floor, where a bunch of the party comers are dancing it up. I hear him give a little grunt and shake his head, muttering _'__idiot__'_ under his breath. I survey the group, bumping and grinding to some track the DJ is spinning and at the middle of the group I see Sid, with his arms around a short little blonde and a beer in his hands. She seems to be enjoying herself. He does to, as he watches her grind down to the floor, looking up at him with fuck me eyes. Fuck, I bet she wouldn't think twice about giving him a BJ right there on the dance floor.

"Oh yeah… he is just dying to be with me!" I snort, drop the beer on the corner of the deck and head back inside for another load. I don't want to walk any further, I don't want to see anymore. After this, I am officially putting myself off duty for the night.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

"Good morning," I offer looking up from my newspaper. It's early – real early - but I, unlike someone else we know, clearly managed to get a good night sleep. Sid looks like his head just hit the pillow before it was time to wake up. There are bags under his eyes, his skin looks pale and considering he probably only needs to shave once a week, he's lookin' a bit scruffy. I guess that's the price he is going to have to pay for his actions last night.

"Mmm… morning…" he moans and sits down across the table from me.

"Coffee?" I ask.

"Yes please," He nods and rubs his face and then stretches out his neck, working out a kink by rolling his head back and forth. I guess he should stretch before partaking in anything too kinky. I fill a cup and plop it down in front of him with a bit of a crash. He jumps when the cup hits the table and then cringes as I scrape my chair along the floor. Ah, poor baby is a bit hung over. Shucks. I pick up my spoon and tap it on the table, something that irritates him when he's in the best of spirits, while I go back to reading the paper. He won't ask me to stop. He's too polite for that, he'll just silently stew.

It doesn't take long before he snaps and jumps to his feet. I laugh quietly to myself, stopping my tapping and putting the spoon down. He thinks that I've stopped, so he sits back down momentarily. He reaches for his coffee cup and I begin drumming my fingernails on the table. He_ loves_ that too. I can see him twitch as he takes another sip of his coffee. He'll justify his annoyance with me as a side effect of the alcohol. I will be blame free.

I watch him suffer for a bit but then lay off when he begins to rub his temples. I don't want to _give_ him a headache, I just want to emphasis the one he already has.

He drinks a bit more coffee, pulling the sports section of the paper out from my pile. He flips through the pages, stopping for a few seconds if he sees something he's interested in. Most of the stories are about him and he won't read those. There is a small article about the Steelers and their upcoming season but other then that, he just skims. He finishes his coffee and leans back in his chair, looking outside, for what must be the first time, as he sees what I have already seen and have not been looking forward too.

"Wow it's a mess out there, hey?"

"Yeah, I'll start cleaning up soon," I moan and nod. The wind must have picked up overnight cause there are cups and plates everywhere. Chairs are flipped over, lanterns are blown down, tablecloths are twisted around tables and buffet equipment.

"No, I've got a company coming in to do that…" Sid insists, waving his hand for me to stay where I am. I know that's a nice thought but it's not going to happen.

"Yeah, I know but I need to supervise and such. The rental company is coming to get the tables, linens and stuff and the stage company is coming to take that all down. By the time you get back tonight, it should all be normal again."

"Normal…" Sid sighs.

"Yup…" I agree watching his facial expression. He looks almost sad, as he stares out over the yard.

"Like it didn't happen…"

"Sid…" I offer, placing my hand on top of his. I knew there would be some let down after the party was over and the real work began for the next season, I just didn't think it would come quite so quickly. "It did happen and today you need to remember to take time and take it all in. I know that yesterday was crazy but it's important to slow it down a bit today…"

"Yeah, for sure," he nods but the look in his eyes is still sad and a bit vacant. I guess they don't call it Cup Hangover for nothing.

"You want something for breakfast?" I ask, climbing to my feet to get myself a refill.

"Sure."

"Some toast maybe? There is some fruit salad and a bit of yogurt left. I could scramble you some eggs…" I offer, pulling open the fridge door. I have to adjust to having proper groceries in the fridge when Sid is home for the summer, for as much as I could live on Eggo's everyday, he would complain about the lack of nutrition.

"Sure, that would be great. You don't need to go to any extra effort or anything," He says but I know it's just easier if I make him breakfast. Watching him cook for himself is painful. And the mess is unbearable. And seriously, how hard is it not to use a metal spatula in a non-stick pan?

"It's no problem," I ignore him and start pulling out some food. "Phil will be here to prep the cup soon."

"Prep the cup?"

"Yeah, you know, wash it up and get everyone's dirty fingerprints off it." We went over this a couple days ago, at the party briefing. Sid offers me a black stare. Why do I even talk?

"Oh… okay…" he just shrugs. Now I wonder if he heard anything…

"And then you are off to the hospital. Your parents and sister will meet you there. And then, you have the golf tournament and another autograph signing session, then I understand you are taking the cup to the airport yourself and meeting Phil back there with the trophy case. The plane leaves at eight, so you can't be late!"

"Okay… wow…" Something tells me I am going to get a thousand text message questions today and reconsider my plan to stay home and clean up. It might just be easier to go with him. He looks overwhelmed and I hope it's just because the coffee hasn't kicked in and he hasn't had any breakfast. I decide to fill up his cup – he's going to need a serious caffeine boost to get through this day.

As I pour, I try to help him look on the bright side. "And then you get to come home and do nothing until tomorrow morning. A whole three hours of free time for yourself. What will you do with yourself?"

"My body might go into shock…" He looks up at me and I lay my hand on his shoulder and give him a little squeeze.

"Would you like me to book you something?" I tease.

"NO!" He laughs finally. It's good to hear him laugh. "Some quiet will be good. Will you be home?"

"Yup, probably asleep. I am freakin' exhausted." I return the coffee pot to its stand and debate making more to help get me through the rest of the day.

"Oh yeah? Jay keep you up?" Sid asks in a somewhat bitchy tone that takes me completely off guard.

"What? No!" I snap back at him. Where the fuck did he hear that?

"Sorry, I just assumed…" he shrugs but the bitchy tone is still there.

"Assumed what exactly?" I hiss at him.

"I saw you with him last night, so…"

"That's none of your business!"

"I know, I know… I'm sorry… I just… I thought you guys were done…" He shrugs, backing down. I understand that he doesn't want to get into a fight right now but then maybe he shouldn't have brought it up.

"We are. It was just – whatever. I don't need to explain myself to you!" Who the fuck does he think he is? People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. "And as if you get to talk!"

"Pardon?" he practically yelps. That's right. I have eyes too.

"How was _Deborah_?" I sneer, folding my arms over my chest. If he wants to be bitchy, ohhhhh, he picked the wrong girl to go against!

"I don't know…" he replies slowly but with intent. "…you'd have to ask Max."

"Hmm?" I gulp.

"Max. You would have to ask Max how Deborah was. He took her home. I went to bed alone last night, if that's what you were thinking…if that's what _you_ assumed," He explains starring at me accusingly. Okay. Point made. Assumptions were made on both sides so I guess I can't be too mad. I do, now however, feel a wee bit stupid. I know that I have no right to be upset even if he did, or did not, have company last night. In fact, I guess I should have expected it. It's his twenty-second birthday, he's a red blooded male, he's a hero in this town and could have anyone he wanted. Why he went to bed alone is a mystery to me… unless… unless Jay was right…

'_No!__' _I instruct myself firmly, starring at the floor._ '__Don__'__t__ be __ridiculous!__ You __work __for __him, __this __is __a__ professional__ relationship. __He __could __have __any __girl __he __wants __-__ super __models, __celebrities, __anyone.__ Jason __was __just __flattering __you __to __get __in __your __pants, __don__'__t __buy __into __that. __You__'__re__ only __gonna __let __yourself __down.__' _ I give my head a shake and look up, squaring up my shoulders and cutting the delusional crap out of my mind. It doesn't last long, as I catch Sid's eyes - gorgeous, gorgeous eyes - and feel my cheeks warm as the blood rushes in. I look away quickly and thank god he can't read my thoughts.

"Um, I think I hear someone in the driveway. It might be Phil. I'll go check," I stutter and back out of the kitchen. Quickly.

-.-

Wow, did this summer go by quick. I didn't even get a proper vacation. I had a couple days here and there but no real chance to go and unwind and just let it all go. I mean, I know I shouldn't complain, and I'm not really, it's just nice to get to get a moment away from the game. Between Cup celebrations, extra commercials, never ending press requests and then all the regular summer stuff that I have to do, training and charity work and such plus the Olympic camp, it's like, shit people, back off for a minute!

Now, I am heading back to Pittsburgh and it seems like I didn't get anything done this summer. I had a to do list. Dad always says there will be plenty of time for to do lists when I retire. Easy for him to say, he has Bree to do all his work for him. And he _is_ retired. I don't have those options.

"So…" I turn to Bree as she walks down the front stairs of my house into the driveway where I am loading my gear into the truck. My dad nods and climbs into the driver's side door. I've said good-bye to a lot of people before – my mom, dad, sister, grandma, friends, teammates - but saying goodbye to her… well, quite frankly sucks.

"So, you're off?" She asks with a friendly smile.

"Yeah, I guess so," I nod, then return to chewing on my bottom lip. I am such an idiot. I had all summer. I had all fucking summer to tell her how I felt but I didn't. I kept waiting for the right moment. I kept waiting to be alone with her. I kept waiting. And now it looks like I am going to have to wait longer. I can't very well just lean in, kiss her and then climb in the car and drive away. I mean, I could. It would be a bit of a dick move but at least it would _be_ a move.

"Well have a good flight," I watch Bree's lips move and can barely hear her words because all I can think is '_I__ wonder __what __her __lip __gloss __tastes__ like__…'_

"Thanks," I finally acknowledge, shaking out the thoughts in my head. I think this is where I am supposed to say 'bye', turn around and get into the car. Instead I stand here, like I am stuck, like one of those wasps on the sticky tape hanging on the back deck. "I… ah… just wanted to, um, thank you again for, ah, all your help this summer. My mom couldn't have done it without you. Hell, my sister probably would have flunked out of school if it wasn't for you…"

"It's my job," Bree responds modestly.

"I know… I just… I know they appreciate the help," I stumble over my own tongue. "I appreciate it…"

"I do what I can." I can tell that I am making her uncomfortable with the praise. She's not used to it. She should be. She's amazing.

I turn and climb into the car beside my dad and close the door. She gives me a little wave and I feel a pain in my heart. I know I will see her again in a couple of weeks in Pittsburgh but for some reason leaving her right now is harder then ever - harder then it ever should have been.


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

**- December 2010 -**

So here I am, in the airport, staring at the departure screen. My flight has been long removed from the scrolling index but I can't seem to move.

I wanted to get on that plane. I really did - I think. Or at least a part of me did. A big part of me. But then what? I get back, he looses a game and we are back to where we started. He's on a twenty game point streak. I'm paying attention. If he screwed that up, who's fault would it be? Would he blame me? Would the guys and their wives? I can't do it. He needs to understand that while he is under pressure to perform, so am I now. I know that's not what he wanted but that's what it is.

And it's not like we had a chance to talk about it. I mean, I get Trina's point that we couldn't talk because I left but… but I needed some time to think. That's fair right? Not that I have done that but that was my intention. I have done an awful lot of that since arriving at the airport. Nothing like last minute right?

I mean, I know Sid and I need to talk but were we going to be able to talk if I got on that plane? No! I would get into Pittsburgh, he would be waiting for me, waiting with some great expectation that I was back and now everything was fixed. Then we would usher me home to his parents and Taylor and… and I would see her and my heart would break and I would put aside everything and get drawn into the world where everything is perfect and fine but… but it's not! And that's not fair. It's not fair to me, or Sid or even Taylor for that matter. I just can't go back. Not yet.

No, Christmas is definitely not the time to go home. When he breaks his point streak, I'll go home. Not that I want him to! It would just be easier.

-.-

Normally, Taylor bounds down the stairs and dives into the pile of presents that are waiting for her under the tree. My parents tell me not to spoil her but I can't help it. I feel bad for not being there so much of the year and this is just one way I can make it up to her. Not that I know what teenage girls want for Christmas, I mean, normally Bree helps me with the shopping but… not this year. This year it was all on me. This year it is definitely quantity over quality. I made sure to keep all the receipts so she can take stuff back. Not that she cares right now, one way or another. She wandered down the stairs slowly and immediately plopped herself down in one of the family room chairs, my dad had to convince her to open her gifts. She has barely touched the presents from me. She seems to be pushing them to the side. She hates me. Like this is my fucking fault!

My chest tightens and I have to look away from where she is sitting, which sucks because the only other direction to look is towards another stack of unwrapped presents. Those ones I bought on my own too. Fuck, I even wrapped some of them myself. What a waste.

"How could she do this to me?" I whisper and feel my mom's hand on my back. I didn't realize I had said it out loud or that anyone was even close enough to hear me.

"It'll be okay. You'll figure something out," She offers softly. Taylor looks up at me with such hate in her eyes, like I did this to her on purpose.

"That's enough Taylor," My mom barks at her and she rolls her eyes and then pushes a present from me out of the way with her foot. I can't handle that.

"Tay, I'm sorry…" I plea but get no response. My parents exchange looks but don't say anything. What's there to say?

"I'm going to call Steph and see what she got for Christmas…" Taylor climbs to her feet.

"But you haven't finished unwrapping your gifts," My dad points out innocently, probably not knowing that all the remaining gifts are from me. It's not like he would recognize the wrapping paper, mom does it all.

"I don't want them."

"Taylor!" My mom snaps angrily.

"It's fine mom, just… just let her go…" I wave her off. She can't force Taylor to like me anymore then I can.

"That's what you do isn't it? Just let people go!" Taylor screams and throws a balled up collection of ripped wrapping paper at me.

"That is enough, young lady!" My dad interjects but Taylor just screams 'No' and runs towards the stairs and back up to her room. I don't blame her. She's right. I did just let Bree go. I didn't fight it – not hard enough anyway. And now she's gone.

-.-

"Hello?" I quickly answer my phone as I climb off the stairs of the plane.

"Hi…"

"Bree!" I practically jump out of my skin. I didn't even look at the number calling. I just assumed it was my dad, to give me a pep talk about ending the scoring streak. I doubt it would be much of a pep talk, so much as him pointing out the mistakes I made that led to me being held scoreless for the first time in a long time - especially against a team like the Islanders. "I'm sorry… I wasn't expecting you to call. I've called and left a dozen messages. Did you get them?"

"Yeah… I did…" She admits softly.

"Oh." Man, I was really hoping she hadn't got them. That way I could pretend, at least in my head, that she didn't know I was calling and then maybe think that she wasn't just avoiding me. But I guess she was…

"Sid… I'm really sorry about Christmas…" She begins but I don't want to hear it.

"Shhh… it's fine," I cut her off. "I shouldn't have pushed you so hard. I get it."

"No, it's not your fault!"

"Bree, it's fine. It wasn't the same without you here but it's fine. We don't need to talk about it."

"No," She replies firmly. "We do. We do need to talk about it. We need to talk."

"It be easier to talk if you weren't on the other side of the Atlantic," I snort and instantly regret it. Again with the pushing. What's wrong with me? I am going to back off. I want this to be her decision. I can't push her. I have told myself this over and over again and still, somehow, here I am pushing. I want her back so bad, I just can't stop myself. She'll come back when she's ready.

"I know…" I hear her soft voice on the other side of the phone and just wish it was here in front of me. "That's why I thought I would come home now…"

"I'm sorry what? Really? For real?" Screw December 25th! This is _freakin_' Christmas!

"Yeah, I mean, if you promise we can talk," She warns me and I can barely hear her because I am screaming with happiness in my head.

"100%!" I don't know what I agreed to. I will say anything right now if it gets her home sooner! "I just can't wait to see you! When are you coming home?"

"I'll try and book a flight for tomorrow but it's a busy time of year, so…"

"I'll arrange a plane! Better yet, I'll come and meet you and then we can talk the whole way home!" Oh man, how am I going to explain that to everyone? I'll say I have the flu. Nobody will want to be near me. Yeah, the flu. That's perfect!

"No! I will take a regular flight, don't be ridiculous!" She laughs. "You have a big game to prepare for, eh?"

"I don't care! I just want to see you!"

"I'll be there. I'll text you the flight info when I get it…"

"You're really coming home?" I have to re-confirm, just in case I was hearing things this whole time.

"I'll see you soon, k?" She laughs. I love her laugh. I imagine her smile as I say goodbye. There is a weight lifted off my shoulders. I can't wait to tell Taylor. Wow, I thought today was going to suck. After ending my point streak, I just wanted to go home and curl up in bed and pretend it didn't happen but now, I wanna go home and wash the sheets and make the bed and just wait for her to walk through the door.

-.-

I lift my last sweater from the drawer and place it on top of my suitcase. I think that's everything, as I flip my suitcase shut and pull the zipper closed. I look around and survey the hotel room for any forgotten belongings. Nope, looks like I got it all. There is a knock on the door and I practically bounce across the room to answer it.

"Madam, the car is here for you, to take you to the airport," The bellhop announces, stepping into the room to gather my luggage for me.

"Thank-you," I nod appreciatively. I follow the bellhop down the hall and into the elevator, listening to the bad elevator muzak for the last time. As soon as I got off the phone with Sid, I attempted to book a seat on the next flight out but could only manage to get a flight today, New Year's Eve, of all days. Whatever, it doesn't matter, it gets me into Pittsburgh at 11:00pm and Sid said he would pick me up. Hopefully it isn't late and I can ring in the New Year the right way, in his arms.

I watch out my window as the car moves through the streets towards the airport and I can't help but feel a pang of excitement. I actually can't wait to get back to Pittsburgh. I have stayed in contact with Vero and of course Sid but other then that I have been basically alone. I saw some friends in London and was supposed to stay with them but their baby had whopping cough, so I decided to check into a hotel. I spent a couple weeks in London, before taking the Chunnel to Paris and from there got a EuroPass and travelled around – Belgium, Germany, Switzerland, Austria, Czech Republic. It was fun for awhile, but the loneliness definitely kicked in and I found myself, on more the one occasion, calling or texting Sid to tell him about something I had just seen and wishing he had been there with me. And sometimes, late at night, when I had checked into another bland hotel room, that looked just like all the others, I had wished I had been home with him.

Soon enough.

The car pulled up to the sidewalk outside the check-in counter for international flights and the driver dug my luggage out for me. I pushed my way through heavy pedestrian traffic, a lot of very upset people in a crowded space. I guess that is too be expected on a day like today.

"Hi, just checking in for my flight," I smile as I approach the counter, after waiting in a long line, and slide my well loved and used Passport towards the check-in staff member. She accepts my printed ticket confirmation and begins typing into the computer in front of her.

"I'm sorry ma'am, your flight as been cancelled."

"What do you mean the flight it cancelled?" I ask slowly, maybe I didn't hear her right.

"I am sorry Mademoiselle , there is a snowstorm on the East coast of the United States and they have cancelled all flights," The woman behind the Lufthansa desk tells me in forced and broken English.

"What am I supposed to do?" I practically yell at her. I am guessing not the first time someone has yelled at her today.

"You can wait in our lounge or we can arrange a hotel for you at one of the airport hotels, there are several…"

"No, you don't understand! I need to get back to Pittsburgh today!" I cry over the counter.

"I am sorry but there are no flights to the United States right now…"

-.-

"Where is she? Where the _fuck_ is she?" I scream and slam my fist down onto the bench beside me. She didn't come in last night. I checked the airport website and the flight information said _'delayed'_. I can't get a hold of her. No one has heard from her. The airline put me on hold for hours and then my phone died.

"I don't know Sid…" Marc offers quietly from the far side of the room.

"She said she'd be here! She promised!"

"There is a lot of bad weather right now, it might not be her fault…" Brooks offers, getting involved where he is not needed. I don't need to hear about the fucking weather. I know the weather is shit right now. That's why we are stuck in this smelly ass dressing room waiting to play in the biggest game of the damn regular season.

"Not her fault? If she hadn't fucking left, she would be here! If she had come home at Christmas, she would be here! How can you stand there and tell me it's not her fucking fault?" I yell across the room. Damn am I glad there are no cameras around right now!

"Why did she leave?" Brooks asks in a deadpan voice, as if that is some kind of answer. Smug bastard.

"Fuck you!"

"You asked him…" Letang comes to his partner's defense.

"Suck my dick!" I snap at him too.

"Can't right now, gotta game… whenever we actually get around to playing it. Maybe we could focus on energies into dat right now?" Tanger offers as a resolution. It's all this damn idol time. I've spent weeks without her around, focusing myself on keeping her out of my thoughts. If I could just get out there and play… it would all be better.

-.-

"_Sid,__ I__'__m__ soooo__ sorry!__ I __am__ stuck __here! __I__ can__'__t __get __a __flight __out__ – __and__ my __battery __is __basically __dead, __I__'__ll __try __and __call __you __later. __I __hope __the __game __is __going __well_," I pull the phone back from my face and press seven to delete her fifth voicemail. I don't want to hear anymore. A month ago, I saved all her voicemails, so I could replay them and just hear her voice but now there is nothing in the world I want to hear less.

"Hey, kid, how ya' feelin'?" Mario steps into the dressing room. I just shrug. What am I supposed to say? My so-called girlfriend just stood me up – again, we just lost a game I really wanted to win and a guy who nobody knows just tried to take my head off on the ice.

"That good hey?" he claps his hand down on my shoulder and sits down beside me. I've moved to the coaches office to get away from the media and camera's. I did my best to be polite and answer the questions but I just need a break from it all. My head is freakin' pounding but I can't very well snap at Mario. That's probably why they sent him in here, bunch of pussies are too afraid to check on me themselves.

"So, you took quite a hit out there…" he begins

"Yeah well, the guy ran me…" I cut him off before he gets to deep into the _'__don__'__t__ get __caught __watching __your __passes__'_ speech. I don't need to hear it.

"They claim incidental contact," Mario informs me.

"Incidental my ass! He didn't even try to move," I argue.

"Yeah, we'll see what the league says. It's not like there is a lack of motive there." No shit.

"They're just pissy 'cause Ovi is shit this year and they wanted to knock me out. Maybe that seventeen year contract wasn't such a good idea, eh?" I shake my head. God, I hate that guy. I clench my hands into fists and feel a surge of rage move up through my body. The blood is pounding in my ears and I just want to go home and forget today happened.

"And there is nothing else going on? Nothing else bothering you right now?" Mario asks, climbing to his feet.

"No. I'm fine."

"Okay," he concedes, probably knowing full well that something is going on but having enough decency to let my private life be my private life, which is more then I can say for a lot of other people. "Nathalie is putting tea on for your parents, you should come by. She's worried about you."

"Please tell her I'm fine but I'm going to pass. I just want to go home and be alone right now…" I explain and hope he and Nathalie understand. I don't want to bring them down, or cause any undo worry. I am just going to go home and wallow in my own self pity.


	38. Chapter 38

_*Sorry for the lack of updates, its been crazy with the holiday's and getting a couple minutes to do some writing, so please bare with me! hope you enjoy and if i don't get another update up before Christmas, hope you all have a great holiday, whichever one it is you celebrate!  
><em>

**Chapter 38**

"So? How is he?" I hear my mom ask, as I lie on the couch in the family room at the Lemieux's.

"He really isn't doing very well. He'd never let you see it but… no, not well at all…" Nathalie explains quietly.

"What do you think –" She begins again and my irritation rises.

"I'm right here mom! If you have a question, ask me to my face!" I yell over at where they are standing. I hate knowing that people are talking about me like I am some kind of invalid. I'm fine. I sit up on the couch and look over at where they are standing in the kitchen.

I watch them exchange concerned looks and want to scream at the top of my lungs. I am fucking fine! I am pissed off and a bit tired but I am fine! I don't know how many times I am going to have to answer the same damn question. I'm a professional hockey player, of course I am sore. Of course I am tired. Of course I have bruises in all shades of the rainbow. I have since I was five years old. None of this is anything new.

"Oh stop it! I didn't see you there!" Mom snaps back.

"Really? Then why were you whispering?" How stupid does she think I am? I know they are talking about me behind my back…

"Sidney, I think you should go talk to your sister…" My mother suggests. She might as well have just punched me in the face. It would feel better then going to talk to Taylor.

"She hates me."

"She doesn't hate you," Nathalie steps in, offering a much calmer tone. "She just doesn't understand what's going on."

"Well I don't know how to explain it to her," I offer honestly.

"You could start by explaining it to us," Nathalie shrugs and gives me a sympathetic look. The truth is that I would probably try and explain it to Nathalie. She is usually someone I can talk to. But with my mother standing right there, her hands on her hips, lips pursed – yeah, it's making me really wanna open up.

"She said she was coming and she didn't come. There is not much more to explain." I am tired of feeling like an idiot. I am tired of getting let down. I feel like a five year old kid, promised something from his deadbeat dad that never comes.

"Her flight was cancelled – " Nathalie shakes her head.

"Was it? That's awfully convenient…" I snap.

"So now you are blaming the weather on her?" My mom snaps back at me. I don't need my mother siding with that bitch right now.

"I offered her a private plane, I was going to charter her one. She would have been here earlier but she said no. Maybe she didn't want to come. Maybe she just found another way out. Maybe she's just been jerking me around this whole fucking time! Maybe she had no intention of coming at all! Did you consider that?" I have.

"You are just talking ridiculous now!" My mom shakes her head and I can tell by the look on Nathalie's face that she thinks I've gone off the deep end too. Well I haven't. Maybe I'm finally seeing clearly!

I am done talking to them. I am done talking to everyone! Fuck them! I stomp down the hall and out to my car. The sunlight hits my face and I almost pass out from the blinding light. Holy crap, it's bright out. I hope I have sunglasses in my glove compartment or I am going to end up with another killer headache.

**-.-**

"_I have a flight tomorrow morning to Toronto, I'll try and get a connection or maybe I'll rent a car and just drive down… or maybe I'll just meet you in Montreal, after the Tampa game?"_

"Don't."

"_Pardon?"_

"I said don't. Don't bother."

"_Sid,__ I__ –_"

"I don't want you here."

"_Sid, I said I was sorry… there was nothing I could have done. Believe me I tried!" _

"I don't believe you. I don't believe a god-damn thing you say! If you wanted to be here so bad, you wouldn't have fucking left! So don't you give me that! Don't you dare!"

"_Sid!"_

"I have shit to do, so if we are done here…"

"_Are…are we done here?" _

"Yeah, yeah I think we are…"

"_Umm… okay then… I guess goodbye then?"_

"There is nothing good about this..."

-.-

I don't normally don't do this but I just need to take my mind off of things. I need some good old fashioned stress relief. I need my neck to relax, the blood pressure to stop pounding in my ears and what better way to do that then this?

I listen and let out a deep breath, as the metal on metal sound of my zipper being pulled down seems to echo in my hotel room and I feel the blonde's cold hands wrap around my dick, pulling it out from beneath the thin material holding it down. It's not exactly at full mast, as the girl in front of me doesn't exactly do it for me but I had heard some of the guys talking about her from the last trip to Tampa – apparently she is one of the best. I'm sure she'll get the job done.

I lean back on my elbows and let me head roll back, closing my eyes as I feel her drag her tongue up the underside of my cock before lowering her mouth down over the length of my shaft. Her fingers roll my balls gently but firmly – like a pro. I try and turn my mind off and just focus on the effort the girl is putting forward. She's not bad, that's for sure. I'm not exactly a blow job connoisseur but I know what feels good. She's got a good mix of motions, pressure, suction, switchin' it up, just when I think I am about to blow. It's nice.

Now she's getting serious, really givin' her. Her cheeks must be getting tired. Fair enough. She's earned her puck bunny status. I let myself relax and give in to the pressure building in my pelvis, feeling the release pending. I give her a little tap as a warning but like the pro she clearly is, she doesn't let go and lets me blow my load right down her throat. She pulls her mouth away, takes a deep gulp, licks her lips and smiles up at me. At least it saves me the cleanup.

She stands up in front of me and starts running her fingers throw my hair. Well this is awkward. I hope she knows that this is as far as it's going, I have no interest in anything more then a blowjob and need to get some sleep. I watch her bite down on her lower lip, as she wiggles herself between my thighs. Fuck. How do I politely say, "thanks for sucking my dick, but it's time to go now"?

I can do this. It can't be that hard. Max does it all the time.

She bends down and tries to press her lips to mine and I have to quickly turn my head before she makes contact. I know where her lips have been. That's nasty.

"What's the matter baby?" She purrs, running her tongue down the side of my ear, then nibbles my ear lobe.

"I've really got to get to sleep," I explain, hoping she gets the point.

"I can help make you tired…" She giggles, reaching down and running her hand over my still semi-erect penis.

"I'm actually already pretty tired but, um, thanks…"

"Okay, maybe next time?"

"Yeah, maybe… I'll keep that in mind…" I stand up and tuck myself back into my pants. She gathers her purse, digging inside for some gum and lip gloss. I walk over to the door and release the lock, stepping out of the way as she squeezes past me, rubbing herself against me one last time.

"Goodnight," I offer, pulling the door open as she presses a wet, sticky kiss to my cheek. She steps into the hall and marches past a small group of the guys – Pascal, Fluery, Brooksy, Johnny. Great. The last guys I want to see this. If it had been Max, Bennie and Staalze, they would be high-fiving me. But no…cue the lecture in three, two, one…

"Dude? I thought you and Bree were…" Pascal is the first to start the conversation, as I turn and head back into my room. They all follow. I can practically feel the disdain as they shovel into the room. A part of me debates opening the mini-bar.

"Were what?" I snap and watch the shocked expressions. "She left me. That's what we are."

"I thought she was coming back? I thought you had talked things out…" Flower adds. I can't blame him. That was probably the last update I gave him. We haven't really talked since before the Classic. I've been busy licking my wounds. We all have.

"Nope," I shrug.

"Ooohhh -kaaaay…" Pascal nods slowly, trying to understand what he clearly can't. He's happily married with a family of beautiful babies. Cheryl-lyn would never abandon him like this. "You might need to elaborate a bit here… help us understand more…"

"What's to understand? She fucking left me. It's pretty clear to me."

"I don't get it man. A couple days ago you were thrilled that she was coming home…"

"But she didn't, did she?" I offer dryly.

"No, I guess not…"

-.-

"Hey man, how's your head? You took another good hit out there," Goose asks, giving me a shove towards my locker, as I strip out of my gear. I trip, totally off balance and have to brace myself on the wall. I almost wipe out totally, because the wall seems a lot closer in my mind then it actually is and it throws me off. Kinda like trying to take another step when there isn't another stair. It's just a weird feeling.

"I'm fine." I assure him, shrugging it off. He's like the thousandth guy to ask me that in the last four days. How many times do I have to say it?

"The plane for Montreal leaves at 11:30, it's 9:30 now, let's be there on time. And Sid, the doctor wants to see you before we leave, give you a quick once over," Dan barks his orders and everyone nods, except me. I am so tired of doctors asking me how I am. I am fucking fine. I just need an aspirin, a bag of ice and a good night sleep. A good night sleep is unlikely but I'll settle for the first two. I don't need to be coddled, just left the hell alone.

-.-

"Whoa! I didn't know I was going to have company on this flight…" Cookie looks over at me, as I enter the small charter plane and throw my bag down on the front chair.

"Yeah well, Burkie thought it would be better if I came home and saw him instead of relying on all these other team doctor's," I explain.

"What's the problem?" He asks concerned. It's the same look I got from the guys when I told them I was going home. It's never a good thing to watch a teammate head out, never mind after the hits I've taken. I tried to assure them that I was fine, that it was just precautionary but I don't think anyone believed me.

"Just some neck pain…"

"You got whiplash from the Hedman hit?" Cookie asks.

"I dunno. Maybe. Something like that…" Or maybe something more. I heard the doctor's in Tampa throwing around some big words, none of them sounded like whiplash but I was hurting pretty bad at the time, not really listening, so who knows?

"Hmmm…" Cooke nods understandingly. He's been around long enough to have seen it all and to know that talking about the problem doesn't help. We take our seats and the pilot comes on to tell us to put our seat belts on and prepare for take off. I look over and see Matt squeezing the handle a little tighter then normal. Some guys are afraid of flying but Cookie isn't one of them.

"Hey, sorry to hear about your wife bud…" I offer, trying to distract him.

"It is what it is," Cookie turns his head and looks out the window, a vacant expression on his face.

"I hope she's feeling better soon."

"Yeah, me too but whatcha gonna do right? Just hope for the best," he gives a little shrug but I know it can't be that easy for him.

"If you need anything, anything at all – " I offer, not just cause I should and it's the right thing to do but because I really mean it. I know that Cookie and I haven't exactly seen eye to eye lately and I pretty much hate the things he has said about Bree but I would never wish a man's family any trouble.

"Thanks man, that means a lot," He looks over at me and nods. "Wanna play cards or something? I could use the distraction…"

"I would but, I've got a pretty killer headache," I shake my head. I can barely focus to read a text message or email, I certainly don't need the humiliation of losing a game of Go-Fish.

"Sure, no problem. Headache from girl problems?" He asks with a smile and a light hearted chuckle.

I laugh. "Yeah, something like that…" Matt Cooke is the last person I want to share my problems with and he knows it.

"I know Michelle feels really bad about all that… it all seems so silly now," Matt shakes his head seriously.

"All what?" I ask.

"You know the… '_friendly__ welcome_'…"

"What are you talking about man?"

"You don't know?"

"No. Know what?" I ask again. Matt chews his bottom lip like he doesn't know if he should continue or shut the hell up.

"Some of the girls, they weren't too nice to Bree…"

I listen as Matt explains some of the shit she dealt with. I had no idea things were so bad. I had heard that Bree was dealing with some problems but she never told me. I asked her. I told her she could tell me. She made the decision not to. That's not my fault.

"Was the paint on the car, Michelle?" I ask, clenching my fists.

"No. I asked her. She said she didn't know who did that. She said not even she would go that far. That was brutal," Matt shakes his head. I just nod. It was brutal. I was pissed. That car and the ensuing paint job wasn't exactly cheap. And now the damn thing is just sitting in the driveway. What a waste.

"I'm sorry about all of it, man. Really, I am," Matt assures me.

"Yeah me too. It's in the past though, so, don't worry about it," I offer. The last thing he needs to worry about with a sick wife is this petty bullshit.

"When you talk to her, let her know that hey? She seems like a really great girl. Perfect for you, really," he adds.

"Yeah well, we, ah, kinda broke up, so… guess not."

"Sorry man, I had no idea," He looks at me as shocked as the rest of the guys were when I broke the news. "I knew she was away but I just thought - "

"It doesn't matter. Plenty of fish in the sea right?" I brush away his pity. That is the last thing I need.

"Right but…"

"Why don't you shuffle and we can play a couple rounds?" I point at the deck of cards in front of him, cutting him off. I'm tired of talking. Cooke was right, it is what it is.


	39. Chapter 39

****_*Consider this my Christmas present to you all! Yeah, I'm cheap, whatcha gonna do about it? LOL! Merry Christmas! (or 6th day of Hanukkah or other festive occasion i am shamefully un-knowledgeable about) if it has more then my usual amount of spelling mistakes, i wrote it pretty fast and didn't spend my usual obsessive amount of time editing. Next chapter will be better.  
><em>

**Chapter 39**

**-January 2011 – **

"Okay, I cannot stress this to you enough… we are talking _light_ workouts here. Really,_ really_ light. We just want to get your heart rate up a little, okay?" Kadar points his finger in my face as a firm warning.

"Got it," I nod and take a step towards the machine waiting for me.

"Don't push it Sidney," My dad chimes in.

"I got it, Dad!" I whine. Just let me get on the damn bike. I'll be fine.

"He's right, don't push it too much," Kad's plops his hand down on my shoulder, as I climb up on the little seat. I have literally done nothing but sit on my ass and eat for the last three weeks and I am going insane. I am an athlete. I have to work out. I can feel my muscles practically atrophying as I wait. Kadar leans in and hits a couple of buttons – like I don't know how to work the exercise bike I have been on everyday for five years.

I begin to peddle and reach what Kads has set as my top speed. I am barely crawling along. I can go faster then this, I walk faster then this. When Kads looks away I increase the speed a couple notches and feel the speed difference instantly. This is better. A couple more notches won't hurt. This feels good. I can actually feel a bit of a sweat breaking out on my forehead. I have missed that. One more notch.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What did I tell you?" Kads comes up behind me yelling. Damn. Caught. It was fun while it lasted. "Sid! Seriously, this is a serious matter!"

"I just wanted to get the blood flowing it again," I insist but Kadar is hearing none of it.

"Your blood is not cleared for flowing!"

"Oh, I'll be fine, it's barely anything…" I wave away his concern but he hits the stop button and points for me to head back to the dressing room. Damn.

-.-

"Please stop talking," I wave my hand towards my mom. My head is killing me and I think I am going to throw up – again. I don't even know what she is rambling about but the very sound of her voice is killing me. "And can you please turn off the lights?"

"If this is because you pushed yourself on the bike today, I hope you learned your lesson…" My dad warns, passing me a bottled water and then heading over to the lights and obliging my request.

"It's not because of that…"

"You just choose to spend your afternoons in debilitating pain?" He asks sarcastically. The last thing I need right now is his sarcastic bullshit. I just need some quiet.

"Troy, leave him alone," My mom pulls out her stern voice, sitting on the edge of the couch beside me. "You all should have known not to leave him alone on that bike. You know what he's like. We've created a monster!"

"That's not funny mom," I sigh. I know she is trying to keep things light but really just covering up her fear. I'd tell her that I'm fine again but even I am starting to doubt that.

"Seriously, who likes to work out that much? Something is really wrong with you…" She leans over towards me and adjusts the cold cloth on my forehead. "Do you want anything to eat?"

I shake my head gently. "I just want to go to sleep."

"Your dad and I have to head back home in a couple days. I'd feel much better if you would go and stay at Nathalie and Mario's," My mom continues.

"I'll be fine alone. I don't need to be more of a burden to anyone."

"You know Nat doesn't feel that way…" She purses her lips and looks at me like I am crazy.

"I know but… I do…" I explain.

"If Bree was here, we wouldn't have to worry…" My dad shrugs.

"But she's not, so there is no point in discussing it," I end that discussion before it even starts. That is the last thing I need to get into right now. Seriously, what kind of asshole shit is that?

"When are you going to discuss it?" Mom asks raising her eyebrows quizzically.

"Umm… I am going with sometime between not now and never..." I offer but it's clearly not good enough for them, my suddenly nosy parents.

"Sidney…" I hear my father begin and don't know if I should blame the headache on the brain injury or just them.

"Could you guys lay off? I am in a bit of pain here and don't need to deal with anymore bullshit, okay?"

"Okay," My mother reasons, cutting off my father's pending attack. "Go get a good night sleep and if you need anything, you know where we are."

"Thanks mom. Good night," I climb to my feet, balance myself and head upstairs to bed.

-.-

"So?" he turns to me, as we watch our injured son stumble away up to his bedroom.

"So?" I ask him. I know what he is going to say. We've been married for twenty three years. I know everything this man is going to do before he does it. But I certainly can't let him know that, now can I? I have to let him think that he is in charge.

"You gonna call her or am I?" He asks.

"I'll call her."

Yeah right, I'm going to let Troy be in charge of matters of the heart. With my luck, he'd get just as pissy as his son and make the whole situation worse. Not that I think it can get worse. I'll be the first to admit that I wasn't too keen on this relationship at the start but it wasn't that I didn't think they were a good match. I whole heartedly did, I just saw the whole thing spiralling madly out of control – which it did.

Don't mean to say I told you so…

Sid is not ready for a relationship but wants to be so bad. He's a big romantic sap – just like his father – but again, just like his father, he doesn't know how to do it. He can't fathom that love takes work. Once you're in love, the hard work is done right? He has no idea what he is doing.

Good thing Bree is a patient woman. But patience is one thing, tolerance is another. No woman should have to go through what she did. Nathalie filled me in on what she knew about and I had lunch with Veronique, who filled me in on the rest. Damn, women can be so mean. Nat and I took Michelle a 'Get Well Soon' basket and I had a chance to have a little chat with her. Call it Karma, or whatever you want… I'm just saying, if you throw stones, be prepared for boulders landing right back in your living room. I've had my share of battles with hockey moms and wives in the past and those things have a funny way of taking care of themselves. If only relationships did…

Now to make the phone call I dread.

-.-

"You're sure this is a good idea?" I pause, standing outside the door. What am I doing here? I must be a masochist… I should have just taken up bondage or cutting myself or something… it would probably hurt less.

"Yes," Trina nods, wrapping her hand around the door knob into Sid's bedroom – our bedroom.

"Wait!" I stop her as she begins to turn the handle. "I don't think he wants me here."

"Sid doesn't know what he wants right now. Trust me."

"How bad is he?" I ask nervously.

"Not good," Trina nods at me, certainly not one for sugar coating things, that's for sure. I gulp and begin chew on my bottom lip. He was annoying with the ankle sprain. He was almost unbearable with the bruised knee _and_ he had a cup to cure his ails. Can I handle him with a concussion? We weren't romantically involved through those injuries. He didn't hate me through those injuries.

"I don't think this is a good idea…" I say again.

"He loves you. You know that, right?" Trina asks but I just shrug. I don't actually. I thought he did but after our last conversation, he was so dismissive and cold, I just don't know anymore.

"He said – " I begin but Trina just cuts me off.

"He was concussed…"

"So that's his excuse?" I question her. "What about the months of him being an asshole before that? Has he been concussed since November?"

"I am not justifying my son being an asshole, believe me. But I don't think that you are fully innocent in all of this either," She raises her eyebrows in at me accusingly.

"Excuse me? How dare you! You have _no_ idea!"

"You are right, I don't," Trina nods. "Sid won't talk about it. All I can gather is the bits and pieces that people have been offering me. But Bree, I know you. I know you pretty well after all these years. I know that you can fight and hold your own. I can't fathom a world in which you just take it from these women – from Sid. How many times have you fought with Troy? How many times did you stand up for Taylor against those mean girls heckling her over her brother?"

"Things are a bit different in _Cole__ Harbour_," I roll my eyes.

"How?" Trina asks simply.

"What do you mean '_how_'?" I hiss. "You really think dealing with your husband and teenage girls compares to dealing with the women here?"

"Because they have money? I know how much my son makes, need I remind you. He's not exactly counting his pennies," Trina points out. "Is it because they are prettier then you? I hardly think so. Smarter? You have a university degree and most of those women's only hope is that they get by on looks. I guess no one has told them that looks won't last forever. Are they better then you? Pulleeeze. You're a Saint. Everyone knows it."

I stand, somewhat dumbfounded as Trina gushes about me, it's slightly uncharacteristic. She's more of a 'buck-up', tough love kinda woman, not known for laying on the compliments. "It's not that…" I respond slowly.

"Then what is it?"

"I dunno… I can't explain it…" I shrug, as she pretty much nailed the things I had been thinking and made them sound ridiculous. I couldn't very well say, 'um, yeah' to their prettier, smarter, better. How about more sexy, stylish, confident? How about just generally better suited to being here, more sure of themselves? "I just don't feel comfortable, I don't fit in. They want me to be someone - something - that I am not and… and I think Sid wants me to be something I am not."

"What does it matter what _they_ want? Who are _they _anyway? You send 'they' my direction and I'll take care of '_they__'_!" Trina assures me and I smile lightly. "Sid, on the other hand, wants you to be you. That's who he fell in love with. _You_ think he wants something different. You changed, not him."

I can't exactly argue with that. I know I changed. I knew that before I left, I just didn't know how to deal with it. I hated who I was becoming.

"Again, I am not blaming this entirely on you. He's been an ass. A complete and total ass. Even just being here over the holidays, I have wanted to punch him several times and I am supposed to be his loving mother," She pauses and shakes her head. I can't help but laugh to myself imagining Trina just snapping and decking Sid. It's bound to happen one of these days. "But the Bree I know, the Bree that boy in there needs, would have told him that, not just let him get away with it."

"Right…" I pause, getting my head around Trina's instructions. "So you want me to call your son an ass?"

"If he is being an ass, I want you to call him an ass, yes. You do it back home, why can't you do it here?" She asks, as if it's the easiest thing in the world.

"We weren't dating when we were back home," I shrug, as if that is an excuse for my behaviour.

"You weren't dating when you first came here either. You would have called him an ass in September," She points out another glaringly obvious fact. "Dating shouldn't change who you are."

I can tell she is biting back an 'I-told-you-so' even though we deserve it. She knows it's too late for that now though. We have to deal with the problem in front of us, regardless of how predictable they may have been. "So… what do I do now?"

"He's in there…I'll let you two figure that out," Trina stepped back from the door and let me head through the door alone.

-.-

"Mom?" I groan as I see the light from the hallway flood the bedroom. I raise the blanket over my face to shield my eyes from the light. Today's headache is worse then yesterday's and I thought yesterday's was the worst ever.

"No Sid…" I hear and don't instantly recognize the voice. The bedroom door clicks closed and I look out over the blanket. The room is dark, as dark as I can get it. I can't see who the voice is coming from, just a shape at the front of the room. I run through the mental images in my head of all the people it could be. It isn't Nathalie or Vero or any of the girls… but I recognize it. It's a good voice, soothing. I should know it… I do know it. But… but… it can't be…

"Bree?"

"Yeah, it's me… can I turn on the light?" She asks quietly and I can see her hand creeping across the wall towards the light switch.

"NO!" I yell.

"Okay, I won't…" She quickly recoils her hand but remains standing by the door.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell… it's just the light bothers me…" I explain, pulling myself up into a sitting position on my bed.

"It's fine…" She says quickly.

"Wait… what the fuck are you doing here?"

"Your mom called and said you could use some help. She said that they have to head home for a while and can't be here and that you don't want to go to Nathalie's, that you're being stubborn… I can't imagine…" I can tell she is rolling her eyes. I don't need to see to imagine it.

"I don't need any help…" I insist, pulling a pillow up to my chest.

"Really? You are just going to do everything while stumbling around in the dark? Is that the plan? Sounds practical…"

"No… I'll get better soon enough."

"You don't know that," She points out. Wow. She is the first person to actually have the balls to say that to me. Everyone is tiptoeing around me, staying positive. It's sickening really. I don't need to be treated like a child. I can handle the truth. Or I thought I could…

"Sid?" I hear her squeak out, still from the other side of the room.

"I'm scared, Bree," I manage to get out before I crumple over in my bed, the blood pressure starting to pound again between my ears. I raise my hands to the sides of my head to help stabilize it.

"Shhh… it'll be okay," Bree offers, climbing into the bed beside me, as I let a deep moan escape. I bury my head in her chest and feel her smooth down my hair. She smells good. Most smells have made me sick to my stomach but not this one. I close my eyes and take another deep breath, taking in sweet smells that I have missed so much.

"I missed you so much…" I cry into her, pulling her close to me, as close as I can.

"Shhh…" she soothes and I beg silently for this pain to go away.

-.-

_*Now, you guys don't think it's going to be this easy do you?_


	40. Chapter 40

_*Sorry for the long delay, the holidays have kicked my ass this year! Hope you enjoy!**  
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**Chapter 40**

"Good morning," I smile up at Sid as he enters the kitchen. He's dressed, showered and looks a thousand times better then he did last night – which isn't hard considering by the time I managed to get the bedside lamp on and see him, he was a crumpled drooling mess, hunched over awkwardly in my lap.

"Humph." Sid grunts, looking up at me with a look of disgust on his face. Okay. I guess we don't need to play the 'guess-Sid's-mood' game.

"Do you want me to make you some breakfast?" I offer, trying not to let the growl affect me.

"No." He snarls, as if it was the most preposterous question imaginable, like I just asked him if he sharted himself.

"You sure? I don't mind," I reach over and grab the door of the fridge and pull it open to grab some eggs. Good high protein meal, get him started the right way. I feel Sid plant his giant palm on the door and jump back just in time, as he slams it shut right in my face. "I said NO! I don't want you to do anything for me!"

"But… but last night…" I stutter, my jaw agape in shock from the anger on display in front of me.

"Last night I was in a lot of pain," Sid hisses at me. "It didn't mean anything! I don't know why you are even here!"

"Sid!" I can't help but gasp, reaching out to grab his arm as he turns away from me. He spins, grabs my wrist and shoves me back into the fridge door. I can feel myself shaking, as I wait for him to say something. I can tell there is something right on the tip of his tongue and he's holding it back.

"I'm going to the rink," Sid finally declares, releases my wrist, throwing it back against the steel door. My pinkie ring hits the door and makes a loud clang which seems to echo throughout the room.

I hold my breath momentarily and debate just storming out of the room, out of this house and out of his life forever. I don't need this shit. Who does? But out of the corner of my eye, I can see Trina looking up over the rim of her coffee cup and the words from last night replay themselves in my ear.

"Not before you eat breakfast you're not, so sit the fuck down. I'll scramble you some god-damn eggs," I snap back at him. It's his turn to stand there in shock, as I push him out of the way and re-open the fridge door, grabbing three eggs and the container of milk. I slam the door shut with my foot and Sid is still standing in his spot staring at me. "Well? What are you looking at? I said sit."

I gulp but hold my ground as I watch Sid slowly walk towards the breakfast table, where his parents are trying to act like nothing out of the ordinary just happened. He lowers himself into a chair and begins fidgeting with a napkin, as I silently go about my work. As I place a plate of eggs, ham, fruit salad and toast in front of him, with a loud clunk as the porcelain hits the solid surface. Trina looks up and gives me a little smirk and nods silently.

-.-

"How are the guys?" She asks as I come in the back door through the kitchen where she is standing. I almost jump because I am not expecting her to be there. Why would she be? I certainly didn't ask her to be here…

"Fine…" I answer slowly, biting back the urge to snap at her. I haven't quite figured out how I feel about her being here.

"Were you able to work out or…?"

"No, I just went to watch some tape and see the doctor again," I explain. Same thing I do everyday.

"Any news?"

"No. Nothing." Same thing I _hear_ everyday. '_Just be patient.' ' Things will get better.' _And my favourite, '_Just take it easy._' Just take it easy, eh? Sounds pretty damn simple until I get home and realize I don't know how. Taking it easy to me means playing hockey… even when I am not playing hockey, I am watching it or playing video game hockey. Or reading about hockey. I can't seem to any of those things, so how exactly am I supposed to take it easy? And the guys are getting annoyed with me wanting to talk about it… so…

"I guess it just takes time hey?" Bree shrugs innocently enough.

I nod bitterly. Yup, I've heard that one a lot too.

_*Bing* _

Bree slides off her chair and moves over towards the oven and pushes the timer button, then reaches into the drawer for some oven mitts.

"You baking something?" I ask, in shock. I don't know why I didn't smell it before, but there is definitely an unfamiliar smell in the air – a good one. Not hockey equipment smell.

"Yeah, you had some old bananas, so I thought I would make some banana bread," she explains as she opens the oven door and a huge waft of comforting aroma enters the kitchen.

"Why?"

"Because it seemed like a waste to throw them out…?" She laughs at the simplicity of her own answer.

"No, I meant why are you baking? Why are you playing housewife? Why are you even here?"

"I told you last night. You're mom called and I – " She shrugs, pulling the steaming loaf pan out of the oven and placing it on a hot pad on the island. It looks really good and I am really hungry. '_No Sid! Concentrate! She's just trying to win you over with food…_' I instruct myself, shaking my attention away from the golden bread.

"And you thought you would just come back and pretend like nothing happened? I can't just do that…" I look up at her.

"I don't really know what happened to be honest. I thought you were happy I was coming home and then –"

"And then you didn't," I remind her angrily. I can feel the back of my neck tensing up, a sure fire sign of bad things to come.

"There was a blizzard!"

"Whatever Bree, I really don't care…" I turn and head out of the kitchen. I can feel the familiar symptoms starting to build and the best thing for me to do right now is to lie down and let them pass.

"Clearly you do!" I hear her call after me as she follows me into the hall. I really don't want to deal with this right now. My neck is so stiff now that I can barely move my head back and forth. Fuck.

"Bree! Not now!" I hiss without turning back to face her. The spinning has begun. This is the worst feeling – well, maybe second worst...

"Then when Sidney?" Bree cries towards me as I begin slowly pulling myself up the staircase. I don't have the strength to argue with her, I barely have the strength to climb these stairs. "Sid!" I hear again and put my hand up to stop her but a wave of dizziness comes up and I loose my balance, lowering my knee down to the stair and leaning forward against the next stair.

"Sid?" the tone in her voice has definitely changed to concern but I wish she would shut the fuck up.

"Bree… please… just leave – " and I want to finish that sentence, as I feel her hand land softly on my back but the number one worst feeling kicks in and within seconds I am heaving my lunch all over myself.

-.-

I tuck him into bed then move over to the window and pull the drapes shut. He hasn't opened his eyes since I helped him up off the stairs. He held on for dear life as we meandered the hallway and I took him straight into the en suite shower. I leaned him against the wall as I took off his barf covered clothing and even that was too much for him. He was wobbly and visibly dizzy as I sprayed him off as best I could, the beads of water pouring off his toned body. It's hard to see him as an athlete right now. He's just a mess.

I step out of the bedroom and pull the door closed quietly. As I step into the hall towards the staircase, I look down and sigh. He somehow managed to drag his barf up the stairs with him, so what would have been a contained mess is now very much not. I should clean it up before his parents get home.

"Welcome home Bree," I laugh to myself, as I step over the vomit and head to the kitchen for some paper towel and a garbage bag.

-.-

God! I am so fucking hungry! Why am I so hungry?

Oh right…

That would do it.

I look over at the clock and see the time. 8:00. Oh shit. I slept all day? I think I got home at like 2. I slept for six damn hours. I really had stuff to do. Shit.

I swing my feet over the side of the bed and head to the bathroom. It's awfully clean in here. Weird. My house keeper doesn't come till tomorrow.

I flip on my shower and step under the stream of water. It's so refreshing. I feel gross. A quick shower and then I'll head down stairs for some supper. Maybe I'll see if any of the guys haven't eaten yet. 8:00 is pretty late but I know Geno eats pretty late…

I step out of the shower and reach for a towel but my towel bar is bare. I always have a towel hanging there. I look around the room and can't see one anywhere. Weird again. I guess I'll have to grab one for the closet and drip all over the place.

"OH shit!" I jump a mile high and drop my hands quickly to my junk as Bree is standing right in front of me, holding a stack of clean laundry.

"Sid! Jesus! Cover up man!" She jumps and turns her back to me, dropping the folded pile on the ground.

"There's no towel!" I yell back and then begin looking around for something to grab but for the first time in a long time there isn't a pile of clothes on the floor. Bree flings a towel towards my head and I snag it out of the air and quickly wrap it around my midsection.

"I had to dry you off with something... then I couldn't very well put your barf towel back on the rack!" She explains, while turning back to face me, the laundry re-stacked. She pushes past me and heads into my closet to put things away.

"What do you mean dry me – you showered me?" I ask. Wow. It occurs to me that I have no memory after throwing up on the stairs.

"Yeah I did…" She admits. "You couldn't stand! Someone had to help you!"

"You were, like, in the shower with me?" I stutter, feeling somewhat self-conscious. I haven't been able to work out in a while… it's probably not the view she is used to...

"Yeah…" She shrugs and acts like it's nothing. It's not nothing, that's for sure. "It's not like I haven't done it before…" She offers me a coy smile.

"That's not the point!" I want to be serious but I can't help but laugh. I can feel the tips of my ears warming with embarrassment, as I think of the scenes that shower has seen.

"Anyways… I guess, I'll just leave you to, ah, get dressed then," Bree turns and heads towards the door.

"Um Bree… I was going to, um, head out for some dinner. Have you eaten?" I offer as I watch her turn back to face me. I feel nervous, like I am asking her out for the first time, which is ridiculous.

"Have I eaten dinner?" She repeats and I nod. She stares at me blankly and my nervousness increases ten fold. She's actually going to turn me down isn't she?

"I just thought… I mean, it's nothing…you don't have to have dinner with me…"

"No, it's not that! I just – " She pauses. "Sid… it's 8:00am."

"What?"

-.-

"How did you let me sleep that long?" He yells at me. I'm not sure how this is my fault. Believe me, I was as surprised as he is now that he somehow managed to sleep for eighteen hours. I checked in on him a dozen times, to make sure he was still alive and stuff. I figured if he was sleeping, he must have needed it. If he didn't wake up soon, I was going to call the team doctor. But after cleaning up all his barf, I was thinking that I could use a little break.

"I've got to get to the rink! There is a power play meeting that I want to sit in on and I have to see Burkie again and…"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa there cowboy!" I plop my hands on his bare chest as he frantically begins looking for clothes. He stops and looks up at me. "Maybe after your episode yesterday, it's better if you stay home? You know and rest…"

"My episode? Rest? I just slept eighteen hours. I think I'm rested," he laughs.

"I just think that maybe staying back from the rink for a day couldn't hurt. I'm sure the power play meeting will be just fine without you," I explain.

"No Bree, I have to go," he shakes his head and reaches for his jeans.

"Okay but… at least let me drive you, k?"

"I'm fine…"

"I spent hours cleaning up. I know you aren't fine," I point out and that seems to instantly end his arguing. He simply nods and sits down on the corner of the bed. I turn and head towards the door, pulling it shut behind me.

-.-

"Bree?"

"Oh hey, Dan. How are –"_ whomp_. I almost loose my gum as Dan wraps his arms around me, like he tackling a quarterback about to throw the Super Bowl winning touchdown.

"I am sooooo happy to see you!" He holds the embrace, like I am a long lost family member.

"Oh… okay…" I struggle to speak as he squeezes me tightly. "Can you please let go? I think you are breaking something…"

"Oh shit, sorry… I just… please take him home…" Dan begs and I can't tell if he is being serious or not. I don't think there are a lot of coaches in the NHL that would beg to have Sidney Crosby leave their locker rooms. "He's annoying the crap out of everyone!"

"What? How?" I laugh mainly because I don't think I really need an explanation.

"He's just following me around like a lost puppy," Dan shakes his head. "I've never watched so much tape in my life! It seems like everyday he has more and more questions and god damn it Bree, I am out of answers…"

"Oh my…"

"The trainers are begging me to send him away, ban him from the rink, take away his key or something… we just need a break…" Dan continues

"I'm not sure what you want me to do…" I shrug apologetically.

"Help me convince him to go home or on vacation or well, just about anywhere at this point…"

"I'll do what I can but I'm not really in the position to convince him to go away right now," I explain. I can barely get him to take a damn Advil. I have lost all my clout in this relationship.

"Please, you have to help us!" Dan begs.

I laugh and promise to talk to him - or at least try. It's the best I can do considering it seems that I am the last person he wants to talk to.

-.-

"What do you mean go away?" Sid turns to me, as I pull his SUV around the corner onto his street.

"I was talking to Chris and Kads and they mentioned that the doctors said that it might be a good idea if you got away for a couple days…" I explain. "I was just wondering if you wanted me to maybe book something for you? I could help make some plans…"

"But… I don't really want to go away. I mean, I know I can't skate, but I can go to meetings and… just kinda be around for the guys and stuff…" Sid argues. I knew this wasn't going to be easy.

"I know, I just think the guys might like to know that you are taking care of yourself too…" I offer in rebuttal. I know his weakness. I know if I say it's for the good of the rest of the team that he will be more inclined to listen. Doesn't mean I'll get my way but it might help.

"Did they put you up to this?" he snaps.

"The guys?" Gulp. "Noooo…"

"Am I annoying them or something?"

"Umm… I dunno…" I shrug. "Do _you_ think you might be annoying them?"

"Bree... did someone say something to you?" He asks in a no-nonsense tone.

"Noooooo…" I lie again and this time my voice cracks. I glance over and see that he is starring at me so hard, he might actually be drilling holes into the side of my head.

"Yes, okay?" I crack under the pressure. "They said you need to get your mind off of hockey and get away and stop obsessing."

He rights himself in his seat, crosses his arms across his chest and a full-out pout spreads across his face. I concentrate on winding the car down the icy road to the driveway and park the car back in it's spot. He climbs out without saying a word and heads into the house, letting the door close behind him before I have even opened the driver's side door.

Great. Pissing him off seems to be a big part of my new daily routine. It's certainly not hard.

I head inside and Sid is no where to be seen. I wander into what used to be my office – I guess it still is – just off the kitchen and crack open my laptop, which I dropped onto my desk when I first came back and haven't really been in to see it since. I sit down at the chair behind the antique white desk and look out at the view of the backyard. I love this room. It has great light and just a really warm, happy feeling to it. It feels serene. It feels like September all over again, before anything happened between Sid and I. Before concussions, before booty calls, before hockey wives, before it all… I just lean back in my chair and stare out over the light dusting of snow, remembering a time when things were just easier.

"Hey," Sid pops his head around the corner of my office door, startling me, pulling me out of my reminiscing.

"There you are…" I smile up at him. He doesn't look up at me or make any attempt at eye contact.

"Yeah, so I, um… talked to my parents and um, they agreed with you," He explains, fidgeting with the door handle. "So I, um, booked us a flight to the Caribbean. We leave in the morning."

And just like that, he turns and leaves the room.

Yeah, a vacation with someone who doesn't want to talk to me will be fun, eh? Sure, no problem.


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41**

"Oh shit…" I hear Bree swear as she steps out onto the beach front deck. "Did you see this view?" She turns back to me and smiles. I see the view – it's smiling at me. I hand a tip to the porter then watch as he leaves. I head over to the balcony door, leaning against the edge of the door frame, just watching the fresh ocean breeze play with her long hair. She attempts to gather it up and hold it down but it's no use – the wind wins.

"It's beautiful out, come on," She summons me but I shake my head.

"The sun. It hurts my eyes," I explain.

"Then why on Earth would you come to the Caribbean?" She laughs.

"You are really pale. It was hurting my eyes to look at something so shockingly white," I offer with a chuckle. Honestly, it never occurred to me to go anywhere else. She just laughs and turns back to the ocean view. I hear my dad's booming voice in the breezeway outside our suite and brace myself for his entrance. We were pull in two different vehicles from the airport to the resort, myself and Bree in one and my mom and dad in the other and at some point on the commute, the vehicles got separated and I'm not sure where they went, or why it took them so long to get here, but I know that my dad won't be happy about it. I slap a smile on my face as they pile through the door, the porter dragging their two suitcases and my Dad, sure as shit, bitching the poor guy's ear off.

"Sid, you wouldn't believe the god-damned bullshit we just went through!" My dad begins but it quickly brushed off by my mother.

"Troy that is enough. Sidney came here to relax and you are not helping with that right now. It you don't cut it out, you can go build yourself a tent with palm leaves on the damn beach!" She snaps at him and then turns to me and smiles sweetly. "Hi sweetie, this is a beautiful place!"

"Thanks mom," I laugh and kiss her cheek. My dad just pouts. I wish Bree had just witnessed that with me, she would have loved it. "Bree's just outside checking out the view."

"Well, I am starving," My dad grumbles. "I hope this place has a restaurant."

"I'll call and make reservations," I roll my eyes and look back out to the deck, to where Bree has already found the lounge chair and spread herself out contentedly. I debate the stink that would be raised if I made two separate reservations. One set for my parents and one set for Bree and I – preferably at two separate restaurants.

-.-

"All I am saying, is that at some point, they needed to think of player safety and - "

"Troy that's enough. Sidney was instructed by the team doctor's to stop thinking about hockey," Trina cuts her husband off for what seems the thousandth time.

"It's okay mom…" Sid tried to assure her that he is fine but she just waives her hand, dismissing his objection.

Everyone at the table sits in silence and I fold and unfold the napkin in my lap wishing the wine steward would hurry and come by to fill my wine glass. If they make it so damn taboo in these places to fill your own wine glass, then maybe the staff should be more alert at noticing an empty glass. Drinking dulls the awkwardness of sitting beside Sid and acting like nothing is wrong. So much is wrong. We used to be able to sit and talk happily for hours. Now, not once, _but twice_, has he accidentally covered my hand with his – something that was once natural and comfortable but now as soon as he realized what he had done he pulled his hand away like my hand was a hot frying pan burning his skin on contact. The pained expression on his face makes me want to reach over and grab his hand, pull it up and hold on to it. Make him know that it's okay to want to hold my hand but I don't even know if it is okay.

"So I suppose it's better for him to sit in silence?" Troy snaps, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"Troy! I am sure you can think of something to talk about other then hockey!" Trina defends her position.

"Humph," Troy grunts and Sid looks down at his hands. I can tell Sid would also like to continue the hockey conversation but knows better.

"Bree, why don't you tell us about your trip?" Trina suggests and now I really need more wine.

"Oh, um… there's not that much to tell…" Wow, this is awkward. You mean the trip I took to get away from your son? That trip? Yeah, let me tell you all the details…

"Where all did you manage to go?" She smiles sweetly and I don't know if she realizes the level of discomfort she has raised at this table. I almost wish we could go back to talking about hockey…

"Um, well… I started in London and traveled around England and Scotland at bit," I begin.

"Oh, I've always wanted to go to Scotland..."

"I might not recommend November. It was pretty chilly," I laugh remembering how ill prepared I was for travelling. I had to buy a couple of warm sweaters within my first week away. "From there, I went to France and bought a EuroPass so that I could travel by train through Belgium, Germany, Switzerland, Austria and the Czech Republic. And that's where I was for New Year's. Actually I had made it back to Paris but…"

I trail off and fidget some more. _'But that's when your son decided he didn't want me anywhere near him.'_ "After New Year's, I just kinda hung out in France, travelling around and stuff. I wanted to see some of the war monuments and I went down to the Mediterranean. Nice and… I was going to Cannes but that's when you called, so… I didn't get there…"

"I can take you there," Sid blurts out and I look over at him in shock. What I want to say is _'really, cause yesterday you hated me?'_ but I can't seem to get the words out. His eyes raise up to me mine and all I can think to say is. "Okay."

"Maybe this summer? We can go after the season is over?" He continues, his eyes not leaving mine.

"That sounds good…" I offer slowly. I wish his parents weren't sitting at this table with us. I wish I could ask him all the questions swirling in my head. What does this mean? Is he done hating me? Does he think things are better? Is he willing to work on this relationship? Does he understand what was wrong with it when I left in the first place? How could he? We haven't talked, he hasn't wanted to be anywhere near me... until now, I guess.

His hand comes up from his lap and he lays is cautiously over mine, this time letting it lie. His eyes shift from me to our hands as he gently strokes the top of my hand with his thumb.

Trina clears her throat to remind us that they are still very much present in this slightly intimate moment. "Well, it sounds like you had a lovely trip but I don't think I am alone in saying, I'm glad your back."

-.-

We wander the streets of the market, my mom and Bree ten or twelve stalls behind my dad and me, oohing and ahhing at everything they see. My dad's head is buried in his travel guide as he is determined to find some restaurant one of the other guy's dad told him about on last year's father's trip. Apparently this place has some kinda pork something that he just has to have.

The market is loud and hot and bright. It's mostly for tourists and people getting off the big cruise ships. There is stall after stall of local wares - wood bowls, tacky knick-knacks, brightly coloured clothing. My mom bought a bird feeder made out of a hallowed coconut for my grandmother. Bree bought a large wood bowl for salads or whatever. I gaze at the stands but I certainly don't feel the need to buy anything. For the most part anyway. I debated buying a tropical shirt to make one of the guys wear on a dare or if he lost the shoot out in practice and I still may go back and grab it because it was awful and it would be funny as hell.

We continue down the dirt path, past a large stall of fruit and local foods that interest my dad, who seems to only ever think of food while on vacation. I move on to a little stall of jewellery – a certain item catching my eye.

"Hey dad? What do you think of these?" I call over to him.

My dad pops his head up over the top of his book, looking for a description of the weird fruit that he has in his other hand and looks down at the stands of pearls I am holding. There are several strands of various sizes, entwined with each other and they really are beautiful.

"They're nice. For who?" He asks and I shrug nervously.

"I, ah… thought I should get something for Bree… maybe as like a peace treaty or something?"

"Well son, that's a very nice peace treaty," He nods hesitantly. I know he wants to say more and is holding back. I wish he wouldn't. I wish he would just tell me what he's thinking or what I should do or anything that would help get the confused look off his face.

"Do you think it's a good idea?" I try and bait him into an answer but he doesn't bite.

"I dunno… maybe you should be talking to your mother about this…" He looks nervously over his shoulder to where the women are still far behind.

"Come on Dad! I can tell you want to say something, so just say it!"

"Fine. Maybe you should just be concentrating on your health, no? It seems to me – " And my dad pauses and looks over his shoulder again, desperate for my mom to come to his rescue but there is no chance of that so he continues. "It seems to me that maybe this is all more stress then you need right now and buying a girl a strand of pearls… usually leads to certain things and… you aren't exactly _'cleared for contact'_…"

"Oh my god dad, seriously? Don't be gross!" As if my dad is telling me not to get laid. I wasn't even thinking of sex. I mean, I am now, but I really wasn't. The guy behind the jewellery gives me a knowing smile. "That's not even what I was thinking about… and I'm sure that's not what they meant by _'no contact_'. It would be fine, if it happened, which it won't anyway, so…" God, it be great if it happened...

"I'm just saying…" My dad shrugs and looks down at the display of jewellery.

"I don't know what you are saying actually. Are you saying I shouldn't try and fix things with Bree?"

"I just think that you need to concentrate on what's important right now and what's important right now is getting you back on the ice," My dad reasons. "Now we need to move away from this table before your mother gets any grand delusions of me buying_ her_ pearls. Let's continue on, shall we?"

I watch my dad wander away, turning back to his tourist guide. Maybe he's right but… maybe he's wrong. I look back at the string of pearls and back to where Bree and my mom are trying on sunhats before I pull out my wallet and hand the salesmen the price on the tag – no need to haggle over the price, I don't really care how much they cost. I take the box and try and slide it inconspicuously into the side pocket of my cargo shorts but my dad sees me struggling to fit the box in and gives me a disapproving look. I don't care. He can think what he wants. I think she'll really like them and if it happens to lead to anything... then so be it...

-.-

"Hey, how ya feeling?" Bree asks as she comes in from the deck. She has been out collecting seashells for my sister with a little bucket in tow. It's a thing that they always seem to do. Not sure what they do with the shells but they are always on the hunt.

"Okay…" I offer honestly. It's been a good day. I was worried that I had overdone in a bit this morning, being outdoors at the market and in the hot sun but so far so good.

"No head ache?" She asks with a genuine smile, as if one day without a headache is some kind of sign that I'm cured. I wish it were that simple.

"Had one a bit earlier but luckily he went down to the tiki bar with my mom…" I joke, trying to keep things light. She laughs and plops down on the couch beside me.

"Your dad is on some kinda mission, hey?"

"What did you think you'd come back and he'd be more mellow?" I laugh lightly but I realize that it's probably the first time I've mentioned her being away and not in a haze of blind anger. I think that's called progress.

"No… not at all…" She shakes her head, her smile slowly dissolving. I realize that might have come out with a different tone then I intended it to.

"Sorry if that was… I didn't mean anything by it…" I back track. shit, shit, shit. That's not what I meant! I didn't mean to sound bitter. I really am trying to accept her being away, I am trying to make peace with it. I need her to know that...

"It's fine," She replies shortly.

"It's not fine. Nothing is fine…" I shake my head sadly. I don't even know how to talk to her, I don't know how to explain anything. I worry about everything I am saying. I just want things fixed and right again. I don't want to be bitter. I want to stop being angry. I want to stop feeling betrayed and abandoned. I know I screwed up but so did she. "I… Bree I…"

"We don't need to get into this right now… if you've made it this far through the day without a headache, then maybe we should - "

"I'm fine and I need to get this off my chest, okay?" I explain impatiently.

"Okay…" She offers hesitantly and I see her bottom lip quiver before she sucks it into her mouth and starts chewing on the edge nervously.

"I… you…" I pause and take a deep breath. I've had to see the team shrink and he's given me lessons on how to express myself effectively. He told me to use 'I' sentences, not 'you' sentences and to stay calm and say how I really feel and identify the things that are bothering me and how I feel about them but right now… that is all going out the window and what I really want to do is yell and scream and punch the wall in frustration. Or pull her into my chest and cry into her hair. Or fuck her brains out. But I am pretty sure that none of those options is what I _should_ do, and I need to do what's right, right now.

"It scared me when you left, that you could just get up and walk away from me so easily - " I begin and she quickly jumps in and cuts me off.

"You think that was easy?" She cries.

"No, that's not what I meant… Please just let me finish?"

"I'm sorry…" She lowers her eyes down to her lap and I have to recollect my thoughts.

"It scared me because I could never walk away from you… living without you, I just can't do it and I was mad that you… that I _thought_ you didn't want to be with me. I've let myself get carried away with thinking that everything was okay and that nothing needed work and that… that you were just over thinking things and it would all work out… I know that you were dealing with things. I've heard a couple of the stories and you shouldn't have had to do that alone, you shouldn't have felt you had to… I'm sorry I wasn't better. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry that you felt the need to leave," I stop and put my hand over my eyes, as the familiar ache takes over my forehead. "I'm sorry that I got so mad… and… and… I'm just so sorry…"

"Sid, just stop… we can talk about this later…"

"I want to talk about it now!" I insist, squeezing my eyes closed really tight. Maybe I can squeeze the pain away?

"You're getting yourself too worked up and are making yourself sick. I just cleared the smell of your barf out of my nostrils. Why don't you go lie down for a bit before dinner?"

I want to argue. I want to continue this conversation. I want to open my eyes, without the haze of pain and see the look in her eyes – to see if any of what I just said meant anything to her but I just nod because I know she is right. I need to lie down. I don't think barfing on her, again, would earn me any forgiveness.


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42**

I lie in bed, the curtains pulled tightly, going through the exercises Mickey gave me. When a headache kicks in, it's usually a blood pressure thing from stress or over activity and if I can calm my whole body I can get past it quicker. The less time my brain spends in pain, the more time my brain can work on healing itself. That means I can play sooner and whatever I need to do for that to happen – I am going to do.

I breath, I count, I imagine the view of my lake in the summer. I send myself back to good times, stress-free times. I am not allowed to imagine winning or good game moments because I get too excited and then I get pissed that I'm not playing. That defeats the purpose. I have to think of things like family vacations or fishin' with my dad. That's usually what I go to. Nothing that exciting about sitting out in the middle of the lake but it's good times.

I lie still and feel my blood pressure stabilize. I move my head side to side and judge the tenseness in my neck. It's still a bit tight. I'll have to lie here a bit longer.

I wonder what Bree is doing… I kinda just dropped a bomb on her out there and kinda ran away. I was just trying to be honest. I was trying to tell her how I felt. That's what the shrink said I should do. I didn't think it would be easy – but I didn't think it would be _that_ hard either. Maybe I should have started with the pearls? Broke the ice with something… Maybe that just wasn't the best timing, the right location. I should have waited. I should have taken her out for dinner, poured her a glass of wine and then tried to have a proper conversation with her. I messed it all up.

I look over at my dresser and know that I tucked the pearls in there. Maybe I could try again? Start with the pearls this time. Would she like that? Would it seemed forced now? Oh… I dunno… I do know that my pulse is racing again, as I turn my head back to center and instruct myself to start counting slowly again. I have to control my mind – keep my thoughts from spiralling out of control.

So I lie here and count. Just count. One, two, three, four… no counting sheep or counting dots on the ceiling. Just counting. Five, six, seven, eight…

_*click*_

I hear the door open and turn my attention to where the light is entering the room. All I can see is her silhouette in the juxtaposition between the darkness and light but I know it's her. She enters the room and carefully, silently closes the door behind her, holding something in her hand.

"Hi," she greets me quietly.

"Hey," I acknowledge her and start to sit up.

"No, no, no…lie back down. I was just checking on you…" She leans forward, gently placing a glass of water down on the bedside table then sitting on the side of the bed. "Are you feeling better?"

"A bit," I nod, although I doubt she can see me in the darkness.

"That's good. Did you need anything?" She asks, pulling the sheets up around me.

I stare at her and then blurt out the only thing I really need. "You…"

I can see the corners of her mouth curve upwards. "I meant like a Tylenol or something…"

"No, no Tylenol…" I reach up and wrap my fingers around her wrist. "Just you."

"Okay, I'm gonna head back outside. If you actually need anything, just –" I can feel her trying to pull her arm away but I don't let go – I won't.

"Stay." I plea, knowing that I probably sound weak and pathetic but that's kinda how I feel, so… oh well.

"Sid… I can't."

"Please, just lie here with me."

"It's probably not a good idea…" She argues, pulling her arm back more firmly but I hold on tightly.

"I think it's a great idea. Come on, just… come here," I let go of her wrist and lift the corner of the blanket and watch, holding my breath, to see her response.

-.-

I look down at him holding up the edge of the blankets expectantly. God, it would feel so good to feel the warmth of his body against mine, to feel his strong arms wrapped around my waist. It would be so easy to just slip in to bed with him. Too easy.

The beckoning blanket has magnetic powers and soon I feel myself slipping out of my flip flops and tucking my feet in beneath it. I face out from him and feel him instantly curl in tight behind me. I feel his breath softly raising the small hairs on the back of my neck and as he predictably wraps his arms around me, just above my elbow, I feel his fingers graze the skin of my forearm. I pull my knees up slightly, tucking my feet against his calves and feel him make the appropriate adjustments to his own body, to ensure that he is still fully pressed against me.

It feels good. It feels right.

I feel my shoulders start to relax and my neck melt into my pillow. I nestle my body backwards, wiggling into just the right position but then feel Sid's hand land firmly on my hip, his fingers digging into my side.

"You need to not do that…" he mutters into my ear.

"Do what?" I gasp and sit up, assuming from his quick reaction that I am hurting him in some way but as I glance over my shoulder, it's a different expression on his face all together.

"Wiggling… you need to watch what you are wiggling into there…" he explains, his eyes still shut and I can tell he is trying to control his breathing and clearly not think about what I have brought to life.

"Oh, shit… sorry…"

"It's okay. Just be aware. It's been awhile, so it doesn't take much to wake it up," he nods, shifting his weight around beneath the sheets, trying to get things into, what I can only assume would be, a more comfortable position.

"Right…" I offer apologetically.

"And I'm not saying it's a bad thing, I'm just thinking you might not like it…"

"I wouldn't not like it!" I protest quickly and before I really had a chance to realize what I was saying. "That came out wrong…" I try and back track but I can tell Sid's thoughts are already into the gutter. He is looking at me with that crooked smile and a raised eyebrow. Damnit. I feel the insides of my thighs tighten, conveniently reminding me of how great it would be to clear out the cobwebs that are trying to grow there. "Stop looking at me like that." I instruct him but know it's futile.

"Like what?" Sid asks innocently but there is nothing innocent about it. "Lie back down with me."

I look down and watch his fingers gently move their way down my arm. I swallow forcefully and can't decide if I should lie back down and let what is going to happen, happen, or climb out of this bed and put an end to it.

"I'll be good," Sid promises but his implied meaning is lost on me, as my mind has clearly also slipped into the dirty trenches. I can't help but laugh at his unrealized double entendre, which helps break the awkwardness, at least for me. As soon as he realized what he had said and why I was laughing, he let out a small chuckle but the blushing was more then obvious - even in the dark. "That's not what I meant…" He tried to assure me.

"I know."

"I hope that was never a concern," he offers in a low, suggestive voice but a note of genuine concern slips through.

I shake my head gently. "No, never."

"Pheuf. That was a little stressful for a minute," he laughs and leans back against his pillow. He has nothing to be self conscious about in _that_ department. I flop myself backwards, so my head hits the pillow beside his. I roll my head to the side and see him starring right at me. I can tell he is thinking the same thing I am. I let a small smile spread across my lips but as he rolls onto his side to prop himself up slightly, so he is leaning over me, my smile disappears. It's real again and this is happening now. I watch him lick his lips and brace myself for what is coming next. I lower my eyelids and spread my lips just slightly. I wait to feel his soft lips against mine but it doesn't come. I open my eyes slightly and see him still staring down at me. He leans in a bit more and brushes his nose against mine, then pulls back again, just slightly. I can still feel his breath on my face. Why is he going so slow? I want to scream _'Just kiss me already!'_ but I don't. I remain calm. Not really, but I try. I realize my chest is heaving and I try to slow my breathing. The anticipation of this kiss has stirred things deep inside of me and I realize how bad I really want him to do it. If he is doing this on purpose, I will make him regret it! Oh my god, could he just kiss me already? Screw it!

I lift my head off the pillow and plant my lips on his firmly. His hand reaches up to support my head and pulls me up to him. The kiss is deep and intense and perfect and everything I want it to be. His tongue reaches for mine and I twirl the fingers on one hand into his hair, holding on to him desperately with the other. I cling to him and he pulls me in tighter.

I turn my body to face his and bask in the joy of having the weight of him against me again. He pulls my leg up to his side and I lift it and wrap it around his thigh, tangling our bodies together. I can't resist myself and push back against his body, forcing him onto his back, as I roll on top of him. His hand creeps up the back of my thigh to my ass and I feel him pull me down to his crotch.

"Hey now," I breath, in my best attempt to be seductive, into his ear. "I thought I was suppose to let that sleep?"

"I never said that…" he laughs as he back tracks, trying to slow his rapid breathing. I realize I am out of breath too, as I sit up, straddling his midsection. It's been a while since I've been out of breath for a good reason – not just running for the Metro or thinking I could handle climbing the stairs to my ninth floor hotel room.

"You should know not to tease me by now!" I poke him in the chest, running my tongue over my dry, slightly swollen lips.

"Right, cause you know, you really taught me a lesson there," He laughs. Okay, true enough.

"Yeah well, I learned that apparently I can't wait around for you to make a move…" I tease.

"I wanted it to be your move." Sid stats simply, with a little shrug.

"What?"

"I wanted it to be your move," He repeats, knowing full well that it wasn't an issue of me not hearing him. "I wanted to know that _you_ still want _me_."

"You ass!"

-.-

"You ass!" She laughs and I am glad she does. This really could have gone the other way. And if she thought it was easy for me to hover an inch above her beautiful lips and not make a move, well, she would be wrong. I just needed to know. I needed the little confidence-boost, I guess.

"It worked out, didn't it?" I ask her coyly, reaching up to brush the hair out of her face.

"If you think so…" she smirks and rolls her eyes.

"I do!" I assure her, grabbing her around the waist and quickly flipping her onto her back on the bed. Her time on top is done. Overrated if you ask me. I mean, I am not going to complain, it's a great view but I like to be in control. I lift my leg and slid over top of her. I pause just above her face and wait for her to open her eyes, knowing that she will think I am going to make her wait again – which I have no intention of doing, I just want her to be aware of what's happening. As soon as I see her eyes crack open, I give her a little wink, she smirks and then I press my lips against hers again.

It feels good to be connected to her again – to have her close to me. It's a good first step. I can make this work. I feel her hands at my mid section, pushing up on my shirt and I help her out by lifting it up over my head. I love the feel of her fingers exploring my chest. I lower my lips back to hers momentarily before pulling back and sitting up, deciding there is too much separating my bare chest from hers. I carefully undo the little buttons on her thin sweater, pushing it down over her shoulders and off her body. She is left lying beneath me with just a bikini top, looking up at me, almost daring me to undo it. A rush of excitement hits my head and a feel a familiar tightness behind my ears.

'_FUCK!' _I scream in my head_._ No! No fucking way I am letting _anything_ get in the way of this perfect fucking moment! Fuck it. I can ignore a little pain. I have played playoff hockey on a broken foot, I can power through a headache.

I reach up and slip my fingers into the small buckle at the front of Bree's bikini top. I give it a firm wiggle but it won't come open. FUCK! My hand shakes in frustration and I debate just ripping the bathing suit off her body, but she senses my frustration and pulls it up over her head. The sight of her breasts is a refreshing one though and I sit above her in awe. If I had those, I would never leave the house. I would sit in front of the mirror and grope myself. They are perfect and beautiful and spectacular and I want to never be away from them _ever again_. I run my hands over them gently, scooping them up and just holding them. Then I let myself graze her nipple with my thumb, looking up to see her expression. The small smile on her face says it all. I lower my lips and kiss her shoulder, her clavicle and down over the moons of her breasts, pulling her nipples gently into my mouth, each in turn.

I have missed this so much.

I am suddenly desperate to be inside her. Nothing in the world is more important to me right now. I move up to her lips and press myself against her, recklessly reaching down and pulling at the button on her shorts. I need them to be off. I need mine to be off. I need her around me and I need this _NOW_.

Bree lifts her ass off the bed, as I pull her shorts and bathing suit bottoms off in one pull. I lunge back over top of her and take her lips in mine. I feel her hands back on my chest, grabbing at any available flesh and pulling me towards her. I sit up to remove my pants and get caught off guard by a debilitating wave of dizziness. I have to brace myself on the bed, to stop myself from falling over. Wouldn't that be sexy? NO! I am powering through this!

"Are you okay?" Bree asks, looking up at me, concern taking over her beautiful features.

"I'm fine!" I snap without meaning to, still wrestling with the button on my shorts. Her fingers push mine aside and do the work I can't seem to. She looks up at me, her eyes wide as she helps push my shorts down over my legs. She uses her feet to push my shorts down over my calves and off, as I bend down over her body, everything hits me – the headache, neck cramps, dizziness and, of course, the nausea. That's just great - fucking great.

"Bree… I have to stop…" Fuck my life.

"Oh… okay…" She sits up, breathlessly pulling her sweater, that is hanging off the edge of the bed, up to cover the front of her body. I roll onto my side and let out a string of swears. I can't believe this is happening. This is not fair. I just wanted to make everything better, make memories here then we could go back to the Burgh and get things back to right.

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…" I offer through clenched teeth, and tightly squeezed shut eyes. I feel Bree's hand on my shoulder but then it's gone and I hear the door close as she slips out of the room.


End file.
